Tyrrell: Hire George Will And A "Polite Lady Commentator With Little To Say" To Announce Super Bowls

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In a February 8 Washington Times column, American Spectator editor-in-chief R. Emmett Tyrrell wrote: "I suggest that the networks - at least for really big games like the Super Bowl - hire George F. Will and a polite lady commentator with little to say." He then added: "I have in mind Kathleen Parker, the soi-disant conservative columnist and TV personality. She is not a conservative, so there would be no reason for claiming the couple lacked balance, and she does not have much to say on politics, so why would she be long-winded on football? She would be polite and relatively inaudible - perfect."

From Tyrrell's column:

If I had watched only the game, I would have been happy, but even happier if I had lowered the volume of the inane commentary. Possibly, the networks have an agreement to hire garrulous, loud, excessively male commentators who have little to say but say it repetitiously. Unfortunately, it hardly adds to the excitement of the game. Rather, it adds to the confusion of the programing, and there was a great deal of confusion Sunday night. For whole stretches, I sat there stupefied by the confusion, most of it provided by the ads and the garrulous commentators. Not much can be done about the ads, which seem to get more stupid and more incoherent every year, but something can be done about these excessively virile loudmouths.

I suggest that the networks - at least for really big games like the Super Bowl - hire George F. Will and a polite lady commentator with little to say. I have in mind Kathleen Parker, the soi-disant conservative columnist and TV personality. She is not a conservative, so there would be no reason for claiming the couple lacked balance, and she does not have much to say on politics, so why would she be long-winded on football? She would be polite and relatively inaudible - perfect.

Mr. Will would arrive at the microphone with all the facts and figures already in his head. (If he follows football like he follows baseball, he already does have the facts and figures in his head.) He would speak in perfect sentences, employing model grammar, and he would have the good taste to let the game - for the most part - speak for itself. When Mr. Will filed a witticism or some other off-the-wall comment, Ms. Parker could give a little exasperated, "Oh, Geeeoorge" and subside.

Previously:

Tyrrell: "Count me in" for pat-down, "especially if the pater-downer is a cute little number" like Sarah Palin

Posted In
Diversity & Discrimination, Gender
Network/Outlet
The Washington Times
Person
R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr.
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