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Fox & Friends' 10 Stupidest Moments Of 2011

December 16, 2011 10:31 am ET by Justin Berrier

Anyone who has had the misfortune to regularly watch Fox News' morning show, Fox & Friends, knows how unique a program it is. Hidden behind the three friendly, smiling faces of the show's co-hosts Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy, and Gretchen Carlson, lie some of the network's most aggressive and unrelenting misinformers. But just like last year, Fox & Friends punctuated its incessant campaign to promote conservative politics with some occasional funny and outrageous moments. Therefore, we present Fox & Friends' stupidest moments of 2011. Enjoy!

10. Doocy Makes Al Gore Joke With A Random Man Dressed As A Polar Bear In The Background

It's no secret that Steve Doocy is Fox & Friends' chief climate change misinformer. He has been known on multiple occasions to make jokes about how climate change isn't happening because it's snowing or cold at the time. (He seems to get awfully quiet during heat waves in the summer).

On January 27, while New York was being hit by a massive snowstorm, Doocy reported on the weather from outside the studio while a random man in a polar bear costume danced around behind him. Although Doocy made the obligatory Al Gore joke, what really made this moment special was that nobody on the show seemed to have any idea how to handle the situation. This led to nearly a full minute of half-hearted jokes and a high-school reunion level of awkward conversation. All punctuated by a polar bear in a Hawaiian shirt and a lei.

Doocy Polar Bear

9. Carlson Thinks, As President, Rick Perry Might Forego Air Force One To Travel By Horse

During the GOP primary season, Fox & Friends has played cheerleader for whoever is leading in the polls at any given moment. After Texas Gov. Rick Perry announced his campaign, Fox News immediately began promoting him, with Fox & Friends leading the charge.

On the August 16 edition of the show, the co-hosts played a clip of President Clinton making fun of the concept of Perry gutting Washington, D.C., while flying around the world on Air Force One, an airplane paid for by the taxpayers. After the clip, Carlson announced, "Well, first of all, we don't know if Governor Perry would even want to fly on Air Force One."

Huh? Would President Perry stay within a few hundred miles of D.C.? Would he never visit another country he couldn't get to by land? How does that make any sense? Don't worry, Carlson obliged us: "Maybe he'd ride his horse around town." Yes, maybe. Maybe Perry would forget about the whole foreign policy thing and just ride around Washington on his horse. Wait, why would this be a good thing?

8. Peter Doocy Dubs Chinese Prodigy Lang Lang "The Justin Bieber Of Beethoven"

Something needs to be made clear. The only reason this particular quote doesn't register higher on the list is that it came not from co-host Steve Doocy, but by his son Peter, who is, coincidentally, a Fox News reporter. Peter Doocy had the opportunity to interview Lang Lang, a Chinese pianist who began playing at age 2 and has since gained international renown. Although (one hopes) there were questions in the interview that were unaired, the very first question we hear Peter Doocy ask Lang Lang is, "Is it safe to say, then, that you would be, like, the Justin Bieber of Beethoven?" Lang Lang replied by laughing and saying, "That's a funny way to put it." Yeah, it sure is.

7. Fox & Friends Attacks Nickelodeon, SpongeBob For "Pushing A Global Warming Agenda" Based On "Unproven Science"

Even Fox & Friends has slow news days sometimes. Some days it seems like there's just nothing to attack the president about. August 3 apparently was one of those days. On that day, Fox & Friends actually spent numerous segments complaining that the Nickelodeon show SpongeBob SquarePants did a short animation on climate change without explaining that some people dispute the scientific consensus that the Earth is warming. Let's ignore for the moment that climate change is not, as Carlson called it, a "disputed fact," and focus on the fact that Fox & Friends is complaining that a children's show about talking, pants-wearing sea creatures didn't explain the scientific and political debate behind a complex subject.

Spongebob

6. Doocy Mocks Obama For Using Binder Clip To Hold Paper Together

Fox & Friends will use any excuse to attack President Obama -- especially, it seems, when he's trying to get legislation passed. In early September, Obama pushed Congress to pass his American Jobs Act, a bill that contained job creation ideas and had public support. Unable to come up with a line of attack on the bill, Doocy resorted to attacking the "chintzy clip" that Obama used to hold the pages of the legislation together while showing a copy of the bill at a press conference. It was a binder clip. The kind used to hold pages together. What made it "chintzy"? I have no idea. But in the president's defense, it successfully kept pieces of paper from falling on the ground.

Obama Clip Service

5. Kilmeade Touts VA Concealed Weapon Law: "Grab Your Gun And Get A Drink And Go Drink In Virginia"

Some of Fox & Friends' stupidest moments come when Brian Kilmeade is ad-libbing. I don't know if he thinks he's funny, or if he gets nervous, or what, but leave Kilmeade without a teleprompter long enough and stupid things are bound to follow.

After reading a quick headline about Virginia's law allowing concealed guns in bars, it seemed as though Kilmeade was required to fill about 30 seconds with about 10 seconds of material. After merely describing what was happening in the generic B-roll video playing on a monitor behind him, Kilmeade went off the rails and suggested that viewers "grab your gun and get a drink and go drink in Virginia." What could go wrong?

4. Kilmeade On U.N. Sec. Gen. Ban-Ki Moon: "I've Eaten There Before"

Kilmeade is no stranger to racially charged comments. In fact, one of his greatest hits was in 2009, when he claimed Americans don't have "pure genes" because we marry "other species and other ethnics." But not all of his race-related comments are quite so horrifying and confusing.

While reporting on plans by the United Nations, Kilmeade and Doocy laughed about the fact that the U.N. Secretary General's name is Ban-Ki Moon. Kilmeade topped off this intellectual discourse by joking, "I've eaten there before." Ha! It's funny because the Secretary General of the United Nations and some restaurants are Korean. I wish I'd been monitoring this show to see what Kilmeade could have done with the former Secretary General's name.

3. Fox & Friends Explains Oil Drilling: "Just Poke A Hole In The Ground"

One of Fox & Friends' favorite themes is that nearly every conceivable economic woe could be solved by merely drilling for more oil on domestic land. To support this false claim, they frequently bring in Eric Bolling, a guy who -- surprise -- has ties to the oil industry.

In early March, there was idle speculation that Obama might tap the Strategic Petroleum Reserve in order to lower gas prices. Ultimately, he didn't, but it did offer Fox News figures an opportunity to push its"drill baby drill" agenda. On March 7, after listening to Bolling misinform about the effect drilling would have on gas prices, with nothing but agreement from the co-hosts, Doocy wrapped up the segment by suggesting Obama "just poke a hole in the ground." Of course, this was less than a year removed from the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in which America watched for three months as crude oil gushed into the Gulf of Mexico, killing waterfowl, poisoning the sea life, and dealing a major blow to the lives and livelihoods of Gulf residents. Somehow, Doocy failed to remember that all that came from a "hole" someone had just poked in the ground.

2. Kilmeade Cites His Roomba To Argue For Replacing Air Traffic Controllers With "Robots"

In April, the airline industry was rocked after a series of reports came out that air traffic controllers had fallen asleep on the job. This led to many people like the Fox & Friends co-hosts -- who had no idea what they were talking about -- speculating about solutions to the problem. The greatest of these moments came on April 15, when Kilmeade, responding to whether air traffic control should be automated, said: "I mean there's vacuums now, right now, cleaning my area rug in my house. A robot, right now ... a Roomba --right now. ... And at first we were holding back; we were not willing to turn over the vacuum duties to a robot, but we have." What else can you say about this? Kilmeade thinks his Roomba's ability to vacuum an area rug unsupervised means air traffic control could also be done by robot.

1. Kilmeade And Johnson Recommend Profiling And Asking "Are You Here For Jihad?" To Prevent Terrorism

Kilmeade's role on the show is usually as the loveable goof. He messes up his lines, gets confused, says stupid stuff, and the other co-hosts laugh at him. But if there's one thing that can make Kilmeade consistently drop his goofy demeanor, it's stories about national security and terrorism. Not that this makes him any smarter, just more serious.

In late February, news broke that a Saudi student had been arrested in an alleged plot to attack the home of former President George W. Bush. This enraged Kilmeade and Fox News legal analyst Peter Johnson Jr., who had some helpful advice for the Obama administration about how to screen for terrorists:

JOHNSON: So we have to understand that obviously America is the beacon of opportunity. Everybody wants to come here to learn and to live and to do well. But what are we doing in the embassies and the consulates around the world in terms of -- no but what's the interview process, Brian?

KILMEADE: Exactly.

JOHNSON: Are we profiling these folks and looking at them hard and say, "Listen, are you really here to go to Lubbock, Texas, to learn something, or are you here for jihad?"

Surely, no terrorist can withstand such withering interrogation. Forget waterboarding -- why not look them dead in the eye and just ask? It's a well-known fact that terrorists are completely unable to lie. And withprofiling, of course, we can combine the two least effective counterterrorism methods: racial profiling and asking people if they're here to commit jihad. Thanks, guys.

BONUS: Fox & Friends Co-Hosts Create Unbelievably Awkward Situation By Hosting Hank Williams Jr.

Although this list was meant to be focused on actual Fox employees, we would be remiss if we didn't mention what was certainly the most uncomfortable Fox & Friends moment of 2011, when the three co-hosts invited country singer Hank Williams Jr. on the show in October. Fox & Friends has a history of hosting actors, musicians, and entertainers as long as they're anti-Obama, and many of us assumed it was just a matter of time before this habit led to catastrophe.

While it might have taken longer than expected (I'm not counting this complete disaster; they should have known better), Hank Williams Jr. certainly obliged. The interview started out poorly, with Williams in sunglasses and folded arms clearly making Kilmeade uncomfortable. The fireworks, however, started after Carlson declared that she'd "love to pick your brain about politics." Williams immediately launched into a bizarre and barely coherent rant against politicians ending with the now-famous line that Speaker John Boehner and President Obama playing golf together "would be like Hitler playing golf with [Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu."

The aftermath was painful to watch. While Doocy desperately tried to get the conversation back on track, Kilmeade stared off-camera and Carlson looked as if Williams had just stolen her puppy. The interview, now fatally crippled, stumbled along for another two or three excruciating minutes. After steering Williams toward football and his father's recordings, the pain finally ended when Williams was cut off and Carlson, to her credit, "disavowe[d] the analogy between Hitler and the president." The rest is history: Williams released an apology of sorts, and ESPN dropped his theme song from Monday Night Football after the clip went viral.

Hank Williams

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    • Author by congero6189599 (December 16, 2011 10:42 am ET)
      16  
      They are comedy show,right? A spoof sort of like "Reno 911", "The Colbert Report",right?
      Report Abuse
      • Author by galmud (December 16, 2011 11:04 am ET)
        8  
        Well both Colbert and Kilmeade comically overestimate the capabilities of robots
        Report Abuse
      • Author by mari2jj (December 16, 2011 5:38 pm ET)
        5  
        Right. But my head is spinning trying to pick the most ridiculous comedic jewel let loose by any Faux newsie. Ahhh, my brain is hurting, just trying to wade through all the Fox derangement jewels. OK, OK, I give up and I am awarding a Faux wide banner to all because you have to be really far off the wall to be considered "good enough" to work for Fox. They major in the Obama Derangement Syndrome, which is diagnoses #1249-221 in the psychiatric diagnosis reference book.
        Report Abuse
    • Author by rtwmd1230 (December 16, 2011 10:42 am ET)
      10  
      I know it was hard to choose only ten, but no Victoria Jackson?
      Report Abuse
      • Author by The_Cat (December 16, 2011 8:09 pm ET)
        5  
        Victoria's appearance was linked to in the bonus section, rtwmd1230, so she kinda made the list, and deservedly so.
        Report Abuse
    • Author by neon desert (December 16, 2011 10:43 am ET)
      17  
      How did you manage to whittle it down to just 10? Was it just the first 10 clips before your researcher broke down in tears?
      Report Abuse
      • Author by epkklk851 (December 16, 2011 10:50 am ET)
        12  
        It's hard to cut and paste and hyperlink when you've been laughing for so hard and so long that your sides hurt and you can't see the keyboard through your tears.
        Report Abuse
        • Author by neon desert (December 16, 2011 10:57 am ET)
          7  
          At least Mr. Berrier put out the effort to preserve the honor of the subjects of this article by picking the best available screen shot of Hank Jr...
          Report Abuse
    • Author by epkklk851 (December 16, 2011 10:48 am ET)
      10  
      Thanks, MMFA, for the recap of crap from Faux & Fiends. Let me recap my assessments of the crew:

      Dookie is always slightly toasted. Retchen is an educated woman suffering from bleach induced brain damage, Peter Johnson is a double phallic reference, and Kilmeade is the stupidest man on TV. I wonder, did any of the Couch Stooges apologize to hapless Hank for getting his regular gig pulled out from under him? Yes, he did it to himself, but he wouldn't have had the opportunity to shoot from the lip and wing his wee knee if they hadn't have invited him on. I wonder, does Hank still consider them "Friends"?
      Report Abuse
      • Author by political_left-religious_right (December 16, 2011 2:14 pm ET)
        3  
        I wonder, does Hank still consider them "Friends"?

        Good question, epkklk. I suspect ol' Hank doesn't care one way or another what people think of him personally, so long as he's got his paychecks rolling in. That, and not because he had any remorse about slandering the president, was what led to his so-called apology.

        I just recalled a joke I heard some years back: "What has 32 teeth and an IQ of 100?" "The front row at a Hank Jr. concert."

        (Actually, the punch line I heard had Willie Nelson, but I think it fits much better here. Or with Charlie Daniels. Or Ted Nugent.)
        Report Abuse
      • Author by rikntx (December 16, 2011 2:39 pm ET)
        3  
        Thanks, MMFA, for the recap of crap from Faux & Fiends


        A recrap? :)
        Report Abuse
      • Author by MickD (December 16, 2011 3:27 pm ET)
        3  
        Much as I'd like to think that Gretchen is an "educated woman," with her mass of credentials, her capitulation to the tools of the Kocks, Heritage Foundations and Murdochs of the world proves otherwise. I don't care how many degrees above zero she has, she's a sell-out, shill and town idiot.
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        • Author by epkklk851 (December 16, 2011 4:31 pm ET)
          1  
          That's the brain damage. She's had her hair bleached for so long that it just bleached her brains and credibility and maybe her soul with it. She can't help it. Don't hate her because she's bleached!
          Report Abuse
    • Author by foole (December 16, 2011 10:54 am ET)
      9  
      Fox & Friends' 10 Stupidest Moments Of 2011

      I LOVE it. Cause that's what these really are. They aren't akward or unpleasant or "oopsies". They are just [i]stupid[i].
      Fox and Friends is, by far, the stupidest show on television. And that my friends, is saying something.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by Jimijams (December 16, 2011 10:56 am ET)
      2  
      I could get better information and hard hitting news from reading an airport bathroom wall. Detroit's international airport has some pretty good bathroom news.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by Nihilist (December 16, 2011 11:28 am ET)
      2  
      yeah, but this was only the first week of the year. there are at least 355 faux pas...
      Report Abuse
    • Author by phlcstgan (December 16, 2011 11:30 am ET)
      4  
      The Derp Squad may be onto something. I would admit I was here for jihad much more readily than I would admit I wanted to go to Lubbock, Texas.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by David2012 (December 16, 2011 11:31 am ET)
      3  
      Wait a minute.

      Wasn't it this year that they were all sitting outside in front of a little fire or something, roasting marshmallows or something? The Deuce burned his hand, I think.

      Or maybe that was last year. I guess it was.

      It's hard to argue with that top ten. It must have been hard to limit it to ten, though.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by phlcstgan (December 16, 2011 11:33 am ET)
        3  
        I think it was last year, just because I feel like it made a similar list then.
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    • Author by Egbert Souse (December 16, 2011 11:56 am ET)
      5  
      Entirely premature. There are two weeks left in the year.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by foole (December 16, 2011 1:13 pm ET)
        9  
        Too right! I mean Kilmeade or Doocy could still accidentally set themselves on fire. Or, they could have Victoria Jackson on again.
        Report Abuse
    • Author by nerzog (December 16, 2011 12:13 pm ET)
      9  
      As others have said, this must have been a difficult task... like choosing the ten whitest snowflakes in a ten acre field.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by barscotch9441 (December 16, 2011 1:48 pm ET)
      7  
      OMG I LOL'd SO MUCH at that last screenie of F&F during the Heil Hank interview. Doocy looks like Hank just gave him a recently used spittoon as a gift. Carlson looks like he just took a dump in a plastic bag and put it on the table, claiming he'd save it for later, and Kilmeade, well he looks like he just got threatened and he's looking for the door. I love it when evil dorks get creeped out.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by neon desert (December 16, 2011 3:03 pm ET)
        2  
        Now see, that's how subjectivity works. Personally, I see Doocebag as pinching out a particularly substantial loaf, Gretchen as interviewing for a job at the Playboy mansion, and Kilmeade as... hmmmm, do my socks match?

        Hank? Hank looks like the comatose sheriff of barn loooooove....
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    • Author by rikntx (December 16, 2011 2:39 pm ET)
      4  
      I vote for the Williams Jr screen cap...
      Report Abuse
    • Author by donwelty (December 16, 2011 3:34 pm ET)
      2  
      Duchy: We have a special honor bestowed upon us today by the folks at Media Matters. We are at the top of the list of misinformers at Fox News. When it comes to misinformation, we are often at the head of the pack. We are proud to have this distinction.
      Retchin': You are absolutely right there Steve. We would not have done it without our audience--the legion of you people who actually think that the stuff we foist on you is somehow related to real life. Here's Brine to give us a preview of what is to come later today.
      Killme: We will have former misinformer of the year discredited Beckster Glenda describe how the right-thinking reactionary far right wing of the Republican Party (known here at False News as "the thinking moderates") will win the nomination with no hope of winning the election. Even Fox people know that Glenda is an idiot, but that doesn't stop us from having him on as a guest.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by AutismNewsBeat.com (December 16, 2011 3:37 pm ET)
      2  
      The weekend crew is just as bad. Alyson Camerota has been on an anti-vaccine jihad for over a year.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by only_myschly3567 (December 16, 2011 7:48 pm ET)
      1  
      #6 all the way... I mean c'mon. All the other stuff is them just being Fox & Friends, but complaining about the way a bunch of papers are held together? That's just beyond any idiocy I'd imagine from this bunch.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by crazymonkeylady (December 17, 2011 10:03 pm ET)
      3  
      Only 10 Moments??? I pity the people who had to watch so much fox and narrow it down to only 10. Hope they had a lot of vacation days after that horrible assignment!
      Report Abuse
    • Author by little poncho (December 18, 2011 10:24 pm ET)
      2  
      every day is a stupid day for the fixed & friends shew!!!!!!!!!!
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