This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama's teleprompter

El Rushbo kicked off the program this afternoon by professing his lack of concern that the vast majority of Americans view the Republican Party as leaderless, according to a recent Rasmussen poll. The real question, according to Rush, is: Who is the leader of the "Democrat" Party? Apparently "President Obama" is the wrong answer because Obama ... uses a teleprompter. Apparently reading words that he did not himself write means Obama is not in charge. So congratulations to former Bush speechwriters Michael Gerson, William McGurn, and others for their temporary tenures as leaders of the Republican Party.

No, according to Rush, the real leader of the Democratic Party is David Axelrod, because, according to the NY Times, Axelrod authorized the administration to comment publicly on the White House feud with Limbaugh.

Rush came back from the break outraged -- OUTRAGED -- that the Vatican suggested that the washing machine "liberated" women more than birth control. In high dudgeon, Limbaugh decried the jokes and stereotypes about women, declared his profound "respect" for women, and vowed that he would not let the Vatican's statement stand, particularly during a recession, when women are hit hardest. If this sounds to you quite unlike the Rush we know and love, fear not -- he capped it all off with this knee-slapper: "To sit here and pretend that you are a comedian and say that the washing machine was more liberating than the pill, according to the Catholic Church -- this has gone far enough. Besides, everybody knows that it was the vacuum cleaner that liberated women more than the pill."

Coming back from the break, Rush characterized Obama's executive order lifting restrictions on federal funding for stem cell research in the following way: "To save people we have to kill people." From there he took a call from a woman professing to disagree with Rush's "objection" to the Vatican's commentary. This turned out to be a brief misunderstanding, however, as Rush and his caller soon discovered that they were in alignment on the issue, they merely disagreed over which household appliance was more liberating. They also found common ground in their opposition to birth control pills and condoms, the advocacy of which, according to Rush, means "we want our little children out there behaving like rabbits."

One more caller after the break, who asked Rush if he was indeed the leader of the GOP, and if in fact his ratings had doubled as a result of his feud with the White House. Rush denied being the head of the GOP and said he would never say his ratings had doubled because that information isn't available. We look forward to Rush reversing himself on both these claims.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

Regarding Obama's executive order opening up federal funding for stem cell research: "To save people we have to kill people."

Ladies' man

"To sit here and pretend that you are a comedian and say that the washing machine was more liberating than the pill, according to the Catholic Church -- this has gone far enough. Besides, everybody knows that it was the vacuum cleaner that liberated women more than the pill."

Echo Chamber

Cited Garden State Pundit on Fox News poll

Cited USA Today: "Illegal immigrants might get stimulus jobs, experts say." Article cites Heritage Foundation, flagged by Drudge

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Charles "Milk Dud Head" Barkley

At the top of the hour, Rush commiserates with CNBC's Jim Cramer finding himself, in Cramer's words, "in the center of a firestorm over Obama's economic policies." Rush told Cramer to get used to it, because now he's on "the other side of the aisle," and "Democrat White Houses" and the "Democrat media" use "demonization" to answer their critics. This from the man who coined the term "Feminazi," and uses the terms "Democrat" and "socialist" interchangeably.

Returning from the break, El Rushbo took a caller who found herself dismayed that Newt Gingrich attacked Limbaugh on Meet the Press yesterday morning, saying he's "irrational" for wanting Obama to fail. Rush aired the Gingrich sound bites, said he's "getting tired of talking about Newt," and dismissed it all as Newt playing politics. Now that Limbaugh has commented, and if tradition holds true, we can expect Gingrich's apology to Limbaugh any time now. Rush then reiterated his interesting claim that Obama's use of the teleprompter means he's not the leader of the Democratic Party.

Fresh off his comments to Jim Cramer explaining how Democrats attack their critics by demonizing, Limbaugh aired a clip of basketball great Charles Barkley attacking Limbaugh for going after Obama. Rush's response was to call Barkley "Milk Dud Head."

Rush's next caller thanked Rush for opening her eyes to the bias in the mainstream media, explaining that she feels better educated listening to Rush and Sean Hannity, and watching Fox News. Rush agreed that she was, indeed, better for it. Unfortunately, that's not borne out by the facts... Rush then offers to send the woman a manual can opener to use on all the canned goods she'll be hoarding as a result of Obama's economic policies. The woman thanks Limbaugh, saying that he makes her both laugh and cry. Us too, ma'am.

Coming back from the final break, Limbaugh noted that Obama gave a "pep talk" to the nation in his weekly address, claiming that Obama was following the advice he, Rush, offered in his CPAC speech. Unfortunately, Obama's "pep talk" didn't live up to Limbaugh's inspirational standards, and he attacked the president for saying "we will get through this" economic crisis. According to Rush, Obama isn't good at that sort of thing because he wants Americans to continue thinking they're "victims."

Rush capped off the hour by criticizing conservatives and Republicans for throwing people overboard, like they did with Gov. Jindal over his response to Obama's address to Congress.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

Claimed Obama doesn't inspire because he wants people to keep thinking they're victims:

LIMBAUGH: Obama doesn't know how to do pep talks because he believes people are victims. That's why he doesn't do pep talks. People are victims of other greedy, avaricious, mean people. He doesn't want to inspire the greedy and avaricious, he wants the victims to continue to think of themselves as victims. He doesn't want to inspire them. It's sad.

Enemies list

LIMBAUGH: Charles Barkley, "Milk Dud Head," weighed in: This is a tent city press conference. Charles Barkley, on March the 7^th, in Phoenix, Arizona -- audio sound bite number 19.

BARKLEY [audio clip]: President Obama is a good friend of mine and I'd just like to think about him, and you know, I know Rush Limbaugh and a lot of jackasses are giving him a hard time right now. They're always trying to divide and conquer the country. They've already ruined the country. And now he's trying to save the country and I want him to keep his head held high.

LIMBAUGH: So, you see, Obama has his erudite supporters from the elite left wing of professional sports, Charles Barkley...

America's Truth Rejector

Repeated Obama earmark falsehood:

LIMBAUGH: It's all these 8,500 earmarks.

CALLER: Yeah, they messed up.

LIMBAUGH: And Obama promised there wouldn't be any earmarks and in order for that promise to be kept, Obama has to say that this isn't his, that this omnibus spending bill got written before he took office.

CALLER: Right.

LIMBAUGH: Which is true, but it was written not by George W. Bush, it was written by the Democrats because the Democrats run the House and the House is where all spending bills originate. And so, it's -- it's typical Obama. You take the exact opposite of what he says if you want to know what's right and what's true.

This hour brought to you by the Democrats' nonexistent attack on Capt. Sullenberger

At the top of the final hour, Rush claimed that Obama called back The New York Times after his interview this weekend to "give a serious answer" to Peter Baker's question: "Are you a socialist as some people have suggested?" According to Rush, "[A]pparently his handlers thought that his answer wasn't any good." Actually, Obama called Baker back to criticize the Times' question, saying, "It was hard for me to believe you were entirely serious about that socialist question."

Limbaugh came back from the break firmly ensconced in the echo chamber, touting a UK Telegraph article claiming that Obama was " 'too tired' to give [a] proper welcome to" British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. According to Rush, the Obama White House "doesn't care" about the country's relationship with Britain, and "whatever they did with Gordon Brown was purposeful." That Telegraph article, of course, was based entirely on incendiary quotes from unidentified Washington officials. Some solid sourcing there, Rush. He then went on to argue with a caller who suggested he "rise above" Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod, because it was starting to sound like a messy divorce. Rush discarded the piece of advice, explaining that he never married Emanuel and Axelrod, so there can't be a divorce.

Rush then turned to a little intramural sparring, airing clips of David Brooks this weekend calling the Republican-proposed spending freeze "insane," and saying there aren't a lot of Republicans on Capitol Hill who think "it is time to move on" from Ronald Reagan. Rush claimed that Republicans nominated just such a Republican for president in 2008. Of course, that very same Republican routinely described himself as "a foot soldier in the Reagan revolution."

Then it was back to the safety of the echo chamber, thanking Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace for "[d]aring to say ... the truth" when he said to Democratic National Committee chair Tim Kaine that Rush "wasn't saying, 'I want the president to fail' -- he was saying, 'I want his policies, his agenda to fail,' and that he disagreed with them and thought they were bad for America." Just one hitch: Rush did say he wanted Obama and his policies to fail. Repeatedly.

Rush capped off the show with a whopper, telling a caller that "the Democrats have put out a new poster on the pilot, the US Air pilot," Chesley Sullenberger. According to Rush: "They found out the guy's a Republican, and so they put out a poster out of the guy and underneath it says 'Goose killer.' " Does this look like a DNC hit job to any of you?

Lastly, there was one thing Rush conspicuously avoided this afternoon -- any mention whatsoever of the tempest he stirred up by saying last Friday that the Democratic health care proposal will "be called the Ted Kennedy memorial health care bill."

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Did you know that the Democrats have put out a new poster on the pilot, the US Air pilot?

CALLER: No.

LIMBAUGH: What was his name? Sully. Chesley Sullenberger. They found out the guy's a Republican, and so they put out a poster out of the guy and underneath it says, "Goose killer."

CALLER: Oh, that makes me sick to my stomach.

America's Truth Rejector

LIMBAUGH: This is from last Friday. Less than 90 minutes after Air Force One landed on the way back from Columbus, Ohio, President Obama called The New York Times about the interview he gave them earlier. One of the -- one of the things that he was upset about -- they had asked him about whether he's a socialist, and apparently his handlers thought that his answer wasn't any good, because he says, you know, "I've been thinking about this socialist thing that you guys at The New York Times asked me about, and I thought you were joking, but if you were serious, I want to give you a serious answer to this."

Clearly, the accusation that he's a socialist is bothering him and if you call a news agency back to try to set the record straight, in the first place, he's the only guy to get away with that by calling back. "By the way, I want to change what I said to you guys because da da da da da da."

If I had tried something like that, "Uh-oh. We caught Limbaugh." "And Mr. Limbaugh called The New York Times back trying to change the record, but ah hah! We've discovered that we hit a sore spot."

Echo chamber

LIMBAUGH: And then we hear that the president was too tired to give a proper welcome to Gordon Brown. Yeah, he was just -- he didn't know that you have to have a joint press conference and maybe a state dinner the first time a leader comes to see you, from your number one ally. He's just overwhelmed. He was just too tired. He didn't -- so much going on, he had no idea.

Well, what is that supposed to mean? Did we elect a kid here that has no executive experience at all? Is that what we're now being told? We elected a good-intentioned, a well-intentioned kid...

[...]

LIMBAUGH: To shed a little light here, ladies and gentlemen, on the White House policy with the United Kingdom. He was just tired. He was just tired. From the UK Telegraph, "He's just -- he was too tired to give a proper welcome." However, if you read further in the UK Telegraph story, you come across this: "The real views of many in the Obama administration were laid bare by a State Department official involved in planning the Brown visit who reacted with fury when questioned by the Sunday Telegraph about why the event was so low-key."

The State Department official, working for Obama, "dismissed any notion of the special relationship." He said, "There's nothing special about Britain. You're just the same as the other 190 countries in the world. You shouldn't expect special treatment." That from a State Department official quoted in the UK Telegraph to explain why Obama disrespected Gordon Brown and the UK.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: So, then, Chris Wallace, though, he has a great comeback to this. And here's what he said to Governor Kaine.

WALLACE [audio clip]: Governor, we have to leave it there, but I do want to point out, though, just as a point of information, that Rush Limbaugh says -- and I think that if you read what he says, he wasn't saying "I want the president to fail" -- he was saying, "I want his policies, his agenda to fail," and that he disagreed with them and thought they were bad for America. But fair enough.

LIMBAUGH: There we go. So Chris Wallace, thank you, sir. Daring to say back to the chairman of the Democrat National Committee the truth.