This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by suffering succotash
By Simon Maloy

Welcome back, Limbaugh Wire reader(s). It's Monday, which means that El Rushbo's self-imposed two-day exile from the golden microphone is over. And he returned in fine form, offering a full-throated defense of taxpayer-funded bonuses for employees of AIG Financial Products. The reasoning? Well, Rush has a lot of insurance with AIG and it would be a "hassle" for him if the company went bankrupt. Also, he figured that taxpayers should pay for his insurance company's bonuses, since he's paying for their mortgages. Also, Rush found it funny because all these AIG employees and high-up Wall Street muckity mucks are, according to Rush, Democrats and big supporters of Obama. It may not be as simple as that: OpenSecrets.org says that the $130 million donated by the "Finance, Insurance & Real Estate" industries was split just about down the middle -- $70 million to Democrats, $60 million for the GOP.

Anyway, Rush offered an admonition to those Americans upset that $160 million of taxpayers' cash is going to bonuses, saying that it is just one-tenth of one percent of all bailout funds, and that there are far greater abuses of government to be angry over. Of course, last week, Rush was railing against Obama for signing the omnibus bill, which Rush redubbed "earmark-ulus," and his anger was not tempered by the fact that earmarks in that bill comprised less than 2 percent of the total spending.

Rush then explained to his readers that he knows he's in the minority for supporting the AIG bonuses, but, as he is always quick to point out, he is a man of "principle," not of "polls." Seconds later, he attacked Rep. Barney Frank, saying that Frank reminded him of Sylvester the Cat.

Coming back from the break, Rush endeavored to explain why, after months of being "negative," Obama was suddenly "confident" about the economy. Rush speculated that one reason might be that Obama's poll numbers are "not going well," pointing to Obama's +4 approval index in the latest Rasmussen poll, and his overall approval rating "holding steady" at 56 percent. According to Rush, this means that Obama's approval ratings are "tanking."

Back from another break, Rush was providing some running commentary to Obama's remarks at the small business White House gathering, which consisted mainly of Rush shouting: "Bail 'em out!" Noticing that Obama praised AIG CEO Edward Liddy in his remarks, Rush extrapolated on his theory from earlier in the program, declaring that Liddy must be a Democrat. Again, not to seem mistrustful of Rush's insights, but another quick peak at OpenSecrets.org shows that Liddy made two donations during the 2008 election cycle -- $2,300 to John McCain, and $2,300 to the Republican National Committee.

Rush continued to articulate his theory of bailouts, and how it's all designed to keep Democratic "elites" and "eggheads" in the lifestyles to which they've grown accustomed: second houses and Manhattan penthouses and such. The "elites" and "eggheads" then take that bailout money and recirculate it in the form of campaign donations to Democrats. And Rush insisted he's not engaging in class envy -- he doesn't begrudge their wealth, but they begrudge him and the rest of us.

Highlights from Hour 1

Enemies list

Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA):

LIMBAUGH: Nancy Pelosi said, "I have asked Chairman Barney Frank" -- who -- you know who he reminds me of? The Looney Tunes -- I think it was the Looney Tunes cartoon character Sylvester the Cat.

[imitating cartoon voice] "I tawt I taw a puddy tat. I tawt I taw a puddy cat. I tawt I saw a bird" -- "to examine options legally available to recover taxpayer funds of companies that abuse the privilege of taxpayer assistance."

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the Albany Reichstag/Kremlin
By Simon Maloy

Rush kicked off the second hour by denouncing the "1984 Orwellian" move by New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, demanding information from AIG about bonus recipients. Calling Cuomo "Spitzer minus the call girls," Rush said if this move is successful, Obama and the Democrats will have a "bee line" to Americans' bank accounts. After welcoming his new listeners, Rush explained the underlying philosophy of all his commentary -- government intervention is bad (our guess would have been fact-free speculation). Again lamenting that no one was complaining about the "outrage" of government excess, Rush expanded the "egghead" and "elite" clique circulating government money around to include, maybe, some "Republicans in name only." That's what you call progress, folks. We'll take it where we can get it.

Moving on, Rush credited David Broder for writing that Obama's honeymoon is "over," saying that Broder and others in the media are finally picking up on what Limbaugh was getting at when he declared his wish that Obama "fail." Rush didn't want credit though, he just warned his listeners to never "doubt" him again, particularly on his next bit of wisdom. Rush noted that in his remarks today, Obama said that AIG CEO Edward Liddy "came on board after the contracts that led to these bonuses were agreed to last year." Rush characterized this as a "pardon" for Liddy, explaining that even though the "community organizer liberal" Obama has a "chip on his shoulder" about Wall Street wealth, he's going to protect the Wall Street Democrats... like Liddy, who, again, gave $2,300 each to John McCain and the RNC last year.

Then Rush took us back to the pioneer days to explain his frustration with a recent study that shows that the stress of sitting in traffic ups heart attack risk. If this is true, Rush says, the U.S. is a nation of "wusses," because that's not stress. The Donner Party, that was stress, according to Rush. Rush persisted, explaining that this "wuss" nation of ours has to "invent" our traumas, like Attention Deficit Disorder.

Coming back from the break, Rush proclaimed that the focus on AIG bonuses is intended to distract from reports that AIG used bailout money to pay Goldman Sachs and European banks $93 billion, once again comparing himself to Paul Revere.

Another break, and Rush was not quite done making comparisons. Once again noting Cuomo's demand for bonus information from AIG, Rush quipped: "Is he working out of the Reichstag or what? Have they -- does Albany have a Reichstag building in it? Or maybe there's a Kremlin in it."

Rush then went on to claim that the Rick Santelli-inspired "tea parties" are "blossoming" all over the country because "people are tired of paying the freight for people who refuse to work; they're tired of paying mortgages for people who are making no effort to pay them; they are tired of bailing out failed companies; they are tired of things like unions and card check being forced on small business." Most importantly, however, the Santelli populists are "outrage[d] at this administration for trying to wipe out the fundamental building blocks of this nation's founding."

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Barack Obama not only is not shocked about these AIG bonuses, he's not outraged. Despite what he said today, he's not mad about it; he's ecstatic. As a community organizer liberal, Barack Obama has a chip on his shoulder about Wall Street wealth. Now he's going to protect Democrat Wall Street titans, he's going to do what he can to keep them wealthy because they are the underwriters, they are the essence of the Democrat Party today. That's why he pardoned the CEO of AIG while ripping the actions at that company with the CEO as the head honcho.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: We have had to invent our traumas. People of this generation have had to invent our traumas and give them initials: ADD, ABB, SHH. All of -- whatever. I mean, you know, restless leg syndrome -- all of these things to convince ourselves we have it tough.

Now I understand, stress is real when you feel it, even if it's manufactured by yourself, even if you create your own stress, I am understand that -- and I'm not saying that life's a bowl of cherries, piece of cake and all that. Don't you think a little perspective might be called for when you're stuck in traffic?

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Have you seen the news of the tea party in Cincinnati? Thousands -- over the weekend, thousands of people showed up. These tea parties are blossoming and growing all over the fruited plain. People fed up -- and I'll tell you what, it's not about bonuses to AIG people. That's not why these tea parties are taking place. These tea parties -- God love you people doing them -- these tea parties are taking place because people are tired of paying the freight for people who refuse to work; they're tired of paying mortgages for people who are making no effort to pay them; they are tired of bailing out failed companies; they are tired of things like unions and card check being forced on small business.

These tea parties are a direct result of an outrage at this administration for trying to wipe out the fundamental building blocks of this nation's founding. That's what's under assault: capitalism and this nation's founding. And that's what these tea parties are all about.

These tea parties, they're not happening because of bonuses to people that work at AIG. One hundred-fifty tea parties have either taken place or are planned across the fruited plain.

Ego on loan from Narcissus

LIMBAUGH: Meanwhile, $93 billion from AIG to Goldman Sachs and European banks, 165 million to employees of AIG. Folks, don't fall for this. It's too late. I know -- I mean, I'm just -- I'm Paul Revere here, shouting the British are coming. The difference is nobody believes me.

"Fascism" watch

LIMBAUGH: Anyway, Cuomo is demanding the contracts guaranteeing these bonuses, and the names of the individuals who developed and negotiated the contracts. So he wants the names of the execs who negotiated the contracts and the contracts, and he wants the names of the people getting the bonuses.

Is he working out of the Reichstag or what? Have they -- does Albany have a Reichstag building in it? Or maybe there's a Kremlin in it. This is the New York attorney general. Obama doesn't have to lift a hand, he just has to have Andrew Cuomo go out and do his dirty work.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the Cheney-Barkley connection
By Simon Maloy

It's the final hour and Rush kicks it off with an argument "totally in logic" and "irrefutable" about AIG and the bonuses. Limbaugh claimed that the argument that AIG executives should have been more "sensitive" to the use of taxpayer money is bunk, because they were given money to stay in business and keep doing what they had been doing, and that the lack of accountability in the TARP legislation made this possible. Rush acknowledged that not everyone would agree with this, but it wouldn't be any different if we were bailing out McDonalds -- would we expect them to stop selling Big Macs?

From there, Rush entered into an extended and philosophical monologue on the shortcomings of socialist thought vis-à-vis the costs of labor, unionization, and education. After reaching such dizzying intellectual heights, Rush brought it back down to the levels to which we've grown accustomed. Noting that the Danish government will begin making compensation payments to women who developed breast cancer from working late shifts, Rush added: "Prostitutes are not part of this study, I don't think."

Taking a quick call between breaks, Rush accused Andrew Cuomo of attempting to "tarnish" the reputations of AIG employees receiving bonuses. Coming back from the break, Rush explained why Alex Rodriguez and Julia Roberts make as much money as they do -- not because they're important, but because of their abilities, their output, and the fact that someone will pay them that much.

Then Rush arrived late to a party at which other conservatives and media people have already overstayed their welcome -- accusing Obama of hypocrisy on the "fundamentals" of the economy. Rush even aired the audio of Obama saying on Friday, "If we are keeping focused on all the fundamentally sound aspects of our economy," but then immediately rejiggered it into: "Obama's teleprompter told him that the fundamentals of the economy are strong." Rush continued: "So back then, on August 21st, Obama's teleprompter told him to make fun of McCain, because McCain was saying the fundamentals of the economy are strong. ... And then, last Friday, when El Rushbo was on the charity circuit, Obama's teleprompter told him that the fundamentals of the economy are sound." No, no, no, no, no. Obama criticized McCain during the campaign for saying, in general, that "the fundamentals of our economy are strong," and then backtracking to define what he called "fundamentals."

Another break and Rush was back, highlighting former Vice President Cheney's praise of Limbaugh this past Sunday as a "good friend" and a "good man." The only thing that shocked us about this is that Rush waited until the end of the show to play that clip. Then, much to our delight, he opened up another chapter in his ongoing feud with NBA great Charles Barkley, contrasting Cheney's effusive praise for Rush with Barkley calling a radio station from prison to call Limbaugh a "fat ass." Rush found a bit of pathos in all this, saying that in 20 years he hadn't changed, but Barkley clearly has, retelling the story of a charity golf tournament Barkley hosted back in the '90s to which Rush had been invited as the keynote speaker. For our own part, we can't decide whether we'd prefer to be praised by Cheney or insulted by Barkley.

That's it for the Limbaugh Wire for today. Thanks for reading, we'll see you tomorrow, and be sure to check out Media Matters' continuing obsession with all things Limbaugh.

Highlights from Hour 3

America's Truth Rejector

Falsely suggested Obama repeated the "fundamentals" line he had criticized McCain for during the campaign:

LIMBAUGH: All right. Now to the audio sound bites -- and I'm going to get to Dick Cheney saying he loves me before this program is over today, but, first, last Friday, when I was out, this is what President Obama's prompter - teleprompter told him to say:

OBAMA [audio clip]: If we are keeping focused on all the fundamentally sound aspects of our economy, then we're going to get through this, and I'm very confident about that.

LIMBAUGH: You hear that Friday when I wasn't here? Obama's teleprompter told him that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. They told him to say it and he said it. And then on Sunday, Meet the Press, David Gregory talking to the White House Council of Economic Advisers' Christina Romer, and she said, "Are the fundamentals of this economy sound?"

ROMER [audio clip]: Well, of course the fundamentals are sound in the sense that the American workers are sound, we have a good capital stock, we have good technology --

LIMBAUGH: Whoa, what is this? I go on vacation, all of a sudden the economy rebounds and Obama's teleprompter tells him so? He was just running down the economy a week ago: "It's going to be bad. We may -- if we don't do this now, we may never recover." Remember that? "We've got to do all of this now. It's going to be a long time."

Gregory couldn't let Romer's comment go by. He said, well, all right, but what's different between now and then when the economy was in better shape than it is now? When McCain was saying the fundamentals were strong, and Obama's teleprompter told him to say no?

ROMER: [audio clip]: What we're saying is that the -- you know, where we are today is obviously not good. We have a plan in place to get to a good place. I think that's the crucial -- a fundamentally crucial difference is to make sure that you have put in place all of the comprehensive programs that'll get us back to those fundamentals.

LIMBAUGH: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. The fundamentals were -- see the fundamentals were stronger back during the campaign than they are today, and McCain said that and he got beat up over the head.

Back August 21st, in Chester, Virginia, John Tyler Community College, Obama had a town hall meeting on the economy and this is what his teleprompter told him to say.

OBAMA: [audio clip]: I guess if you think that being rich means you've got to make $5 million, and if you don't know how many houses you have, then it's not surprising that you might think the economy was fundamentally strong.

LIMBAUGH: So back then, on August 21st, Obama's teleprompter told him to make fun of McCain, because McCain was saying the fundamentals of the economy are strong. Then, throughout the campaign and through his immaculate inauguration -- the immaculation -- he kept running down the economy like this: "Hopeless. Yeah, we don't do this now, we may never recover" -- all that rut.

And then, last Friday, when El Rushbo was on the charity circuit, Obama's teleprompter told him that the fundamentals of the economy are sound.

Ladies' man

LIMBAUGH: Anyway, I'm way long here, and I've got so much great stuff. I've got audio sound bites I've gotta get to. I'll also have to -- the night shift -- BBC News night shift: Danish government's been paying compensation to women who've developed breast cancer after long spells of working nights. Prostitutes are not part of this study, I don't think.