This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama's teleprompter's social calendar
By Simon Maloy

We'd like to think that after listening to El Rushbo for so long, we've developed a preternatural ability to predict what the man is going to say -- almost like we could finish each other's sentences, except that we don't end sentences with the term "feminazi." So when we saw this news item concerning a teleprompter snafu during yesterday's meeting between President Obama and the Irish prime minister, we assumed that it would be the first thing Rush would mention on today's show, given his obsession with Obama's teleprompter use.

Sadly, we were wrong... We had to wait 10 minutes.

But in those 10 minutes, Rush accused the Obama administration of using the AIG bonuses to "poison as many minds in this country as possible to capitalism and to corporate America," and attacked Newsweek's Jonathan Alter as a "stenographer" who takes "dictation from Rahm Emanuel." He also reiterated his theory that the outrage over the AIG bonuses is all a feint by Democrats and the White House to distract Americans and "rechannel" anger from government to Wall Street while Obama works to undermine the country.

Then he finally got to the teleprompter "embarrassment," saying it was so bad that the "drive-bys" haven't even released the video.

We were sure he'd stay on that one for a while, but, again, we were proved wrong. He switched over to an Associated Press report on Missouri state police being warned that Ron Paul and North American Union bumper stickers could be an indicator of militia involvement.

After a quick break, Rush took a cue from NewsBusters, noting that the most recent CBS News poll put his approval rating at 19 percent, but that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's approval rating was 18 percent. Rush was quite amused by this, declaring that he was more popular than the leader of the Democrats. Of course, his disapproval rating, 40 percent, was also higher than Pelosi's, 35 percent.

Back from another break, Rush picked up on the emerging Republican talking point that Obama is "demeaning" the office of the president, saying: "a sitting president has never before lowered himself to sit on a late night comedy show, and that's the way to look at this." Then, the siren song of a teleprompter mishap proved to be just too strong, as Rush offered a detailed retelling of the incident, tossing in some praise for the British media's coverage of Obama. Yeah... the British press has been just fantastic in their Obama coverage.

Anyway, this went on for several minutes, Rush criticizing Obama for using a teleprompter, before finally declaring: "This is getting out of hand." Well, we agree with that, in a sense. But then things spiraled downward even further, as Rush prattled off a series of questions addressed to Obama's teleprompter, including: "Are you dating anybody, teleprompter? Mac or PC?" The whole thing ended with Rush going to commercial as the announcer declared The Rush Limbaugh Show "certified teleprompter-free."

You'll recall that Rush was just minutes earlier accusing Obama of distracting Americans from things that matter.

Rounding out the hour, Rush declared that Treasury Secretary Geithner has "failed," and that he didn't care one whit if Geithner were replaced because he would just be replaced by another "goofy, egghead nerd."

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: The big point about this AIG business -- as I mentioned to you people yesterday -- the big point here is to poison as many minds in this country as possible to capitalism and to corporate America. This is exactly the kind of thing Barack Obama and his team love: Everybody hating corporate America, hating Wall Street, hating CEOs, hating executives.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: There's a story here today that really now to fix the banks might take another $750 billion -- all this happening under the radar, and everybody focusing on this goon Geithner, who is just a nerd. He's just a dweeb. He's a total dweeb -- everybody in the White House in over their heads in this respect. They're in over their heads in fixing this. They are perfect to destroy this. They are perfect: perfectly timed, perfectly programmed, perfectly educated to destroy capitalism -- and that's their expertise. And they're in the process of doing it.

And while they're doing it, they're making you think it's a good thing because you now hate the CEOs, and you hate the executives, and you hate these bonuses, while all this other rigmarole is going on that is really damaging.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: He's just getting ready to leave for California to appear on Jay Leno. This is historic in itself. Do you know -- a sitting president has never before lowered himself to sit on a late night comedy show, and that's the way to look at this. A president of the United States has never lowered himself like this to sit in on a late night comedy show with "The Chin," not even with Johnny Carson, certainly not Letterman.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I have -- I have some questions the teleprompter since it engaged in behavior last night that embarrassed both the Irish prime minister and the president of the United States. I mean, when a teleprompter - he has somebody who's as great an orator as the president to thank himself for throwing a party, you've got to love this prompter.

So, teleprompter, do you have a name? Teleprompter, in your opinion, how is President Obama doing so far? Did he convey the level of anger you hoped for regarding what you told him to say about AIG? Teleprompter, is the president ever argumentative with you or is he compliant with your instructions? Teleprompter, have you ever thought about helping Secretary Geithner or do you work for just one person?

Teleprompter, how are you and the first lady getting along? Are you dating anybody, teleprompter? Mac or PC?

There's a rumor, teleprompter, that you send out a small shock to the president when he mispronounces words or mangles phrases you tell him to say or that you can even make him cough. Is that true?

Teleprompter, in private, is Joe Biden as buffoonish as he is in public? Tell us, we want to know. How does it feel, teleprompter, to be the first teleprompter for an American president? You're the first teleprompter -- capital F -- first teleprompter.

Teleprompter, as a consumer of electricity, how do you feel about cap and trade? Are you -- do you feel threatened and endangered?

Teleprompter, do you listen to talk radio? Would you consider yourself a Dittohead?

When did you first meet Barack Obama, teleprompter? And are you paid with taxpayer money, and if so, did you have to fill out Obama's questionnaire before you were hired as first teleprompter?

And teleprompter, what are your plans post presidency? Will you retire to Silicon Valley or will you tell Obama what to say when he's giving speeches at a million dollars per year after his presidency? And finally, teleprompter, are you nervous about President Obama appearing with "The Chin" on the Tonight Show without you?

Enemies list

Newsweek's Jonathan Alter: Rush called him a "stenographer" who "takes dictation from Rahm Emanuel."

Echo chamber

Cited Hot Air's Ed Morrissey on Freddie Mac bonus program.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Thomas Jefferson's powers of foresight
By Simon Maloy

At the top of the second hour, Rush celebrated the rise in U.S. births in 2007, but was concerned that births among unwed mothers were up 40 percent, explaining that he was not sure if these children would become "taxpayers" or "tax receivers." From there, he continued to feed the teleprompter fixation, explaining that he was working on getting sound bites from "TOTUS -- the teleprompter of the United States."

Then it was time for a little more hyperbole, declaring that Rep. Barney Frank's (D-MA) push to obtain names of AIG bonus recipients is the "new McCarthyism."

A quick break, and then Rush was back with his sound bites from "the teleprompter," again declaring that Obama wants to "destroy capitalism" and that he wants Americans angry at capitalism and CEOs. Then he aired a clip of Obama, claiming that the president compared Tim Geithner to Alexander Hamilton. From this, Rush employed the transitive property of talk radio smears -- he quoted from a biography of Thomas Jefferson, who famously disliked Hamilton, claiming that Jefferson, in criticizing Hamilton, was, by extension, criticizing Geithner because Obama compared Geithner to Hamilton. Also, according to Rush, Jefferson accurately described -- 200 years ago -- Obama's present-day attempts to undermine the Constitution and debase the virtue of the American republic. This dovetailed nicely with Rush's monologue from last week, in which he lauded the Founding Fathers for pre-emptively justifying Limbaugh's desire to see Obama "fail."

Leading into the next break, Rush went off the rails... big time. Picking up on a "hilarious" AFP story on how three British researchers attempting to ski to the North Pole "are now down to half rations and fighting to survive in brutal sub-zero weather conditions," Rush declared: "[H]ere are three dingbats trying to prove [global warming] who are about to die in the process." Rush came back from the break still talking about this "hilarious" story, saying these "stupid" explorers are "idiots," and that "there's no other word for it." Rush also wondered if any of them die, could the families sue Al Gore. This went on for some time until Rush said he had better "cut back" on it.

There's not a whole lot we can say about that, so we'll let the transcripts and audio speak for themselves.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: By the way, we're working, ladies and gentlemen, on audio sound bites from the latest press conference held by TOTUS -- the teleprompter of the United States. I watched a little bit of it during the last segment of the previous hour, and during commercial break, I actually listened to some of it.

And the teleprompter apparently told Obama to just get mad. Obama was mad. The teleprompter was telling him to act outraged. The teleprompter was filling him full of energy.

And the teleprompter told him to compare Timothy Geithner to Alexander Hamilton. So the teleprompter told Obama to stand firmly behind Geithner, and he did so with a little rage. Full of outrage, the teleprompter was -- adopted an attitude that we haven't seen from it in quite a while.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: In the meantime, the new McCarthyism in Washington, D.C., this morning during a House Financial Services panel hearing. This is the Chairman Barney Frank.

FRANK [audio clip]: We will also be asking Mr. Liddy to give us the names of the recipients. They have sent us some information under the confidentiality rules. I've spoken to Chairman Kanjorski about this. If Mr. Liddy declines to give us the names, then I will convene the committee to vote a subpoena for the names. So we do intend to use our power to get the names of the people here.

LIMBAUGH: Contractually obligated bonuses -- Barney Frank and the new McCarthyism. He will go the route of a subpoena to get the names of the recipients if the government-installed CEO Ed Liddy does not provide the names. The next question that will be asked once these names have been produced -- and they will be -- then these people will be called up to testify before Chairman Frank's committee.

And they will face other questions like, "Have you attended pro-capitalist meetings during the course of your tenure at AIG? How many of your friends are free-market capitalists and what are their names and where can we find them? And if you fail to answer, you will be cited as being in contempt of Congress."

[...]

OBAMA [audio clip]: Wall Street and the marketplace don't think that we can return to business as usual.

LIMBAUGH: Stop the tape. Stop the tape. Did you hear that? I hope that Wall Street and the marketplace don't think we can return to business as usual. As you continue to listen to these sound bites, the meaning of that is going to become clear. He is trying to make everybody believe business as usual is excess, is criminal activity, is excessive compensation -- all of these things, bonuses and so fourth, that's what we're not doing.

We are going to destroy capitalism is how you translate this. If Wall Street thinks we're going back to capitalism, they've got another thing coming.

[...]

OBAMA: There has never been a secretary of the Treasury, except maybe Alexander Hamilton right after the Revolutionary War, who's had to deal with the multiplicity of issues that Secretary Geithner is having to deal with all at the same time, and you know, he is doing so with intelligence and diligence. Nobody's working harder than this guy.

LIMBAUGH: Well, he's not getting anything done. He's a tax cheat, and he's not getting anything done, except further ruination. Now, Alexander Hamilton -- very deft move by the teleprompter to tell President Obama to compare Geithner to Alexander Hamilton. I am prepared for this one. The intellectual hero of Abraham Lincoln was Thomas Jefferson, and Thomas Jefferson lived at the same time as Alexander Hamilton, and they did not get along at all.

Would you like to hear what Thomas Jefferson thought of Alexander Hamilton and thus, by extension, Timothy Geithner, because the teleprompter just told Obama to say that Geithner is Hamilton, all right?

From the book, Thomas Jefferson, by R.B. Bernstein, page 90: "Jefferson feared that Alexander Hamilton had plans radically at odds with the Constitution. As Jefferson saw it, Alexander Hamilton wanted to warp the federal government out of constitutional shape, converting it into a copy of the British government, built on debt, built on corruption, and influence. Jefferson charged that Alexander Hamilton's goal was to ally the rich and the well-born with the government at the expense of ordinary people, creating a corrupt aristocracy leagued with the government against the people and destroying the virtue that was the basis of Republican government."

Now, we can argue -- we can argue, ladies and gentlemen, about Jefferson's assessment of Alexander Hamilton, however, I wish to read this to you again, and I wish to say to you that Thomas Jefferson has just described the objectives of Barack Obama and the people he has brought into his administration.

Listen to this again: "Jefferson feared that Alexander Hamilton had plans radically at odds with the Constitution." Check -- so does Obama. "As Jefferson saw it, Hamilton wanted to warp the federal government out of constitutional shape." Check -- so does Obama. That Hamilton wanted to convert the government "into a copy of the British government." Check. In modern times, we would call this a Western socialist democracy that is the UK -- "that is built on debt, built on corruption, built on influence." Check. Check. Check.

Debt piled upon debt created by Obama. Corruption -- we've got tax cheats as the secretary of the Treasury. We've got lobbyists running all over the White House after Obama said there wouldn't be any there. And influence -- we have Rahm Emanuel calling members of the media every morning to plan coverage of the Obama administration with the stenographers in the mainstream press. Thomas Jefferson said that Hamilton's goal was to ally the rich and the well-born with government at the people's expense. Check.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: They got one day of food left. The weather has been too bad for supply flights to drop more food. If any of them freeze to death, can the remaining family members sue Al Gore?

And by the way, 12 weather stations in Alberta, Canada, have already broken their all-time lowest temperature records for the month of March. Records extend back approximately 100 years -- 100 years. Twelve stations in Alberta, Canada, broken their all-time lowest temperature records while these idiots -- there's no other word for it, folks, these -- they may be well-intentioned, they may have great hearts, and they may really care about the ice, but they're idiots to ski up there to measure the sea ice.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the deranged leftists from the Democratic blogs
By Simon Maloy

Top of the final hour, Rush, done impugning the intelligence of people in danger of losing their lives, returned to smearing Barney Frank as a "McCarthyite" and saying the "Politburo" want the names of AIG bonus recipients. From there he played audio of Obama from the January 15, 2008, Democratic primary debate saying: "Well, I think what I was describing was how I view the presidency. Now, being president is not making sure that schedules are being run properly or the paperwork is being shuffled effectively." Rush called Obama's description of an operating officer "ignorant" and "shallow," adding for good measure that Obama's policies are "anti-capitalism." This was capped off by some general ranting about "Ivy League" intellectuals like Geithner and Obama who have "contempt" for anyone who didn't go to Ivy League schools.

After the break, Rush offered his views on yet another "hilarious" story. This one wasn't about explorers imperiled by the elements, but rather about Jay Leno's upcoming free show for the unemployed in Detroit. As reported by the Detroit Free Press, Leno asked that eBay ban the sales of tickets to his show, saying: "There is nothing for sale here." First, Rush mocked Leno for putting on this benefit in the first place, saying: "I'm sure you showing up doing a comedy show is going to help people put food on the table. I'm sure it's really going to inspire people to go out and get a job." But Rush was also offended by Leno asking that the tickets be taken off eBay, accusing Leno of stifling the "free market" and "entrepreneurship," and saying that Leno is taking food out of the mouths of Detroit's unemployed.

Another break, and Rush was back to mocking Leno, announcing that he was offering tomorrow's broadcast for free. Call it "free" all you want, but we certainly feel like we're paying a price.

Rush then aired some sound bites from the House Finance Committee's hearing with AIG CEO Edward Liddy. This could have been a time to offer some reasoned criticism of the government's role in the AIG bailout, but instead Rush spent most of the segment spitting and sputtering into the microphone as he mocked Barney Frank. At one point, he played a clip of Liddy explaining that AIG employees who received bonuses had become the target of death threats. According to Rush: "I'm sure these are deranged leftists from the Democrat blogs and so fourth. Well, they're the ones that hate capitalists."

That left Rush to wrap up today's show with a plug for one of his advertisers and a final message for Jay Leno -- Rush loves him, but he's stripping people of their dignity.

That's it for today's Limbaugh Wire. We'll see you tomorrow. Be sure to check out the latest from Media Matters' Limbaugh surveillance program.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: You want to hear something that I find hilarious and a little funny? It's about "The Chin," the star of The Tonight Show, Jay Leno. Jay Leno announced on his program Monday night that he's going to - I think it was Monday night. I've got the Detroit Free Press here. Yes, on Monday night's Tonight Show, "The Chin" said that he loves Detroit, and he's going to go up there and he's going to do a show for the unemployed. In fact, you don't even have to be unemployed. You just have to be having hard times.

Jay, that's really great. That is fabulous. I'm sure you showing up doing a comedy show is going to help people put food on the table. I'm sure it's really going to inspire people to go out and get a job. If you're going to go out there, do a show for the unemployed -- great intentions, what a great guy, Jay Leno -- accomplishment: zero.

However, what's really funny about this, he was giving the tickets away. The tickets are free. Some people decided - they got tickets, and then they put them on eBay to sell them for like 200 bucks a piece -- four tickets, 800 bucks, or 800 bucks for a ticket. I don't know what the price was.

I scanned this story very hurriedly. It's either 200 or 400 bucks for a ticket or 800 bucks, and Leno heard about this. Leno heard that his free tickets to help the unemployed in Detroit were being sold and he threw a fit. He said, "I'm not worth 800 bucks." Right? But he also said, "I don't want this. This is a free show. Nobody should be profiting off this."

Jay, old buddy, old pal, you understand that you're doing a free concert for the unemployed, so some people who are unemployed end up getting tickets to your show and they wanted the money rather than to see you.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: OK, so Liddy says that -- did you hear the threats that he's receiving? From -- I'm sure these are deranged leftists from the Democrat blogs and so fourth. Well, they're the ones that hate capitalists.