This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by a (sort of) contrite Rush Limbaugh
By Simon Maloy

Earlier this week, we allowed ourselves the luxury of feeling somewhat confident about our NCAA bracket. After last night, however, we're not feeling so high-and-mighty, and now the person running the pool is demanding that we actually pay our entry "voluntary donation." This seems unfair to us, particularly since he won't accept Deutsche Marks.

Anyway, it's once again "Open Line Friday!" on The Rush Limbaugh Show, and El Rushbo got it started by apologizing. Apologizing for -- wait... what? Yeah, he did. He apologized for saying yesterday of Americans and President Obama: "They know he's lying through his teeth, and they still support him. It just means this -- what women have always known: 'Cheat on me, just don't tell me about it.' " According to Rush, even though it "was certainly a comment containing a large element of truth, it still perhaps was inappropriate. And so, for that, I apologize." We suppose that's the best we can hope for from Limbaugh.

Moving on, he told an "old joke" about God, seeing that Notre Dame had invited Obama, "who believes in infanticide," to deliver the commencement speech, and thus decided to end the world, spreading news of his decision through the major newspapers. The punchline, if it can be called that, was that the papers either buried the story or reported it by highlighting the impact on "women and minorities." Rush said this joke served as an example of a "template" that media outlets follow when they don't know what to write.

From there, he segued to attacking the "Senate Screw the Budget Committee" for passing Obama's budget yesterday. Limbaugh blamed Warren Buffett, Lawrence Summers, and Christine Romer for not "speaking out" against the spending in the budget, asking "what can they say?" and answering, in a German accent, "we were just following orders." According to Rush, it's one thing to vote for or support Obama, but to go along with his policies is a "national tragedy." Why? Because the "ChiComs" are the only check we have left against Obama, and, as Rush has "warned," if "President Obama succeeds with this, our nation fails." Rush also repeated Sen. Judd Gregg's (R-NH) outraged statement that the United States, given our national deficit, would purportedly not be eligible for membership in the European Union. As Washington Monthly's Steven Benen pointed out, it's a bogus argument: "The EU offers flexibility to governments that are responding to economic crises -- note to Gregg: we're in the midst of an economic crisis -- and several EU members will run deficits well above 3% this year."

A quick break and Rush was back, attacking Gallup for reporting that public support for Obama's budget are "hold[ing] steady." Then it was on to Obama's announcement this morning that he is sending more troops and civilians to assist in Afghanistan, with Rush claiming that the whole announcement was a "feint." After another break, he explained that it's a "feint" because Obama is "doing it on the cheap." According to Rush, Obama announcing that he is sending an additional 4,000 troops "doesn't count" as "ramping up" the troop presence, but it allows him to say he's fulfilling a campaign promise. Of course, those 4,000 troops are on top of the 17,000 Obama committed in February. Rush also believed that Obama's Afghanistan announcement was not "political," but rather based on "intel," because even though Obama loves "chaos," he doesn't want the chaos of a terrorist attack.

Rush explained Obama's foreign policy thinking as being borne of a desire to be "part of the whole." It's not Obama's goal, according to Rush, to "preserve our capitalist system" because Obama actually intends to destroy it: "We are being destroyed from within. We don't need the communists to do it anymore. We don't need to worry about infiltration from foreign enemies. It's being done from the White House. The very structures, the blocks of the foundation that built this country are being dismantled."

After some more attacks on Hillary Clinton for "blaming America" for the drug violence sweeping across Mexico (we're getting tired of refuting that one), Rush proclaimed the secretary "incompetent," adding: "The scary thing is she's twice the man Obama is and that illustrates just how precarious our circumstance is."

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: I don't need to apologize for yesterday. I apologized yesterday for yesterday. Ah, that's right, some of you -- if you were listening, ladies and gentlemen, to yesterday's program, the very last comment: I sincerely apologize for it. It's just one of those things.

And I love stereotypical humor and I have a belief that all good comedy requires an element of truth, and while my closing comment yesterday was certainly a comment containing a large element of truth, it still perhaps was inappropriate. And so, for that, I apologize.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The old joke is this: God is watching The Oprah Winfrey Show, and he's just had it, 'cause he figures the human race -- and then he heard about Obama being invited at commencement speech at Notre Dame. He says, "That's just -- Notre Dame is inviting somebody who believes in infanticide to give the commencement speech? The most anti-life president in the history of the country and Notre Dame extends a commencement invite?" God, watching that and the Oprah show, says it's over. Humanity has failed. I have to step in. I'm going to end the world.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The only check and balance we have on all of this purposeful irresponsibility is the Communist Chinese because if they refuse to keep buying debt, then maybe something can change this. I have warned you and warned you again. If President Obama succeeds with this, our nation fails. Our nation is unalterably changed for generations.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: We are being destroyed from within. We don't need the communists to do it anymore. We don't need to worry about infiltration from foreign enemies. It's being done from the White House. The very structures, the blocks of the foundation that built this country are being dismantled. The mansions, if you will, of the United States of America's library of freedom are being dismantled door jam by door jam, door by door, brick by brick, floorboard by floorboard.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I'll tell you what's really scary about foreign policy right now is that Hillary Clinton is incompetent. I mean, incompetent going to Mexico joking about don't drink the water, and then praising them on their environmental advancements, and then on Greta, begging the North Korean communists to call her. The scary thing is she's twice the man Obama is and that illustrates just how precarious our circumstance is.

Clips from this hour:

Limbaugh: Hillary Clinton is "twice the man Obama is"

Limbaugh: Rep. Frank and Sen. Dodd are "toxic congressmen," "poison members of our government"

Limbaugh: "If President Obama succeeds with this, our nation fails"

"[W]hile my closing comment yesterday was certainly a comment containing a large element of truth, it still perhaps was inappropriate and so for that, I apologize"

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama's continued (non)support of "infanticide"
By Simon Maloy

El Rushbo began the second hour with some more attacks on Obama for wanting to cut the defense budget, and claimed that "Obama's teleprompter" had endorsed Scott Murphy in the NY-20 House race.

Then it was time for a blast from the campaign past -- specifically the bogus, ridiculous, and hyperbolic conservative talking point that Obama supports "infanticide," and the extravagantly false claim that Obama "voted three times that if a baby survives an abortion, it may still be killed because of the mother's original intent to abort it." This came up in reference to the mini-controversy surrounding the University of Notre Dame inviting Obama to speak at commencement, in accordance with the school's tradition to invite new presidents to speak.

Back from the break, Rush attacked Obama for wanting to rescind the "conscience clause," and warned that we are in a "cultural boiling pot" right now, and that it is threatening to "boil over." Rush's evidence for this was a 40-person march in Oakland in support of a man accused of killing four police officers. Rush noted that the police officers were white and that the suspect is black, and asked when Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were going to get involved, adding that there is "rage" out there that "threatens to erupt."

Another break and it was time for a caller, who criticized Obama's intention, in the words of The New York Times, to "recast the Afghan war as a regional issue involving not only Pakistan but also India, Russia, China, the United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia and the Central Asian states." According to the caller, who threw Iran into the list of nations for good measure, inviting all these countries to the table was like inviting a bunch of different animals to dinner and expecting to get something done. Rush agreed completely, saying that "[s]ome might says Obama wants us to fail" because "he's cutting the defense budget." Rush has clearly taken to heart Dick Morris' notion that Obama wants his own policies to fail, but in doing so, he has violated a key rule of informed debate -- don't listen to Dick Morris.

After some more ranting about how the "ChiComs" are the only "check and balance" against Obama's grand scheme to destroy America and capitalism, Rush took another call, this one from a man very upset at George Soros for allegedly telling the Daily Mail that he's "having a very good crisis." Rush shared in that outrage, saying that Soros wants America to "fail," and that he and Obama are out there "spewing negative stuff" about the economy.

Then Rush described how he was channel-surfing last night and just happened upon Fox News' Hannity for its "Great American Panel" segment. Rush said he had to give a "shout-out" to the "country music singer" who was on the panel last night for admitting, when Hannity asked him a question about the economy, that he didn't know enough to answer. Rush found that kind of honesty "refreshing." Though he didn't come right out and say it, we'd like to think that Rush was implicitly criticizing his good friend Sean Hannity for hosting an admittedly uninformed country music singer to discuss the economy.

After the break, Rush taught us a lesson in media monitoring. You see, it's Open Line Friday!, which means that callers can talk about whatever they want. So when a caller asked Rush about a cold remedy that he is constantly hawking, we figured we might be able to tune out for a moment and get a little writing done. But we were mistaken, for Rush, as he was promoting this product, surprised us with this little gem: "[F]lu, you have an out, but it's still miserable. And if anything you can do to stop it or to arrest it or to retard -- sorry -- to 'Special Olympic' its duration, then it -- you should do it."

Lesson learned, Rush. Consider our vigilance redoubled.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: A cold is almost worse than a flu, 'cause a flu, you have the excuse to stay in bed, a cold you don't. Tell somebody you're in bed sick with a cold, they laugh at you. You've got to be able to go to work with a cold. I mean, you've got to get up. You've got to be productive. You've got to take care of the kids and baby.

You've go to -- flu, you have an out, but it's still miserable. And if anything you can do to stop it or to arrest it or to retard -- sorry -- to "Special Olympic" its duration, then it -- you should do it. And Zicam -- if you catch it early enough, the moment you think you're coming down with it, just snap open a tube. It's easy.

America's Truth Rejector

Repeated false claim that Obama supports "infanticide":

LIMBAUGH: The truth is that President Obama, by virtue of his votes as a member of the Illinois Senate and as a member of the United States Senate, is perhaps the most anti-life -- well, there's no question -- he is the most anti-life president we have had in American history.

This is a man who three times voted for infanticide in Illinois. He tried to excuse it any number of ways, but this is a man who voted three times that if a baby survives an abortion, it may still be killed because of the mother's original intent to abort it. If the abortion is botched, the doctor can go ahead and complete the job outside the womb. He voted for it three times.

That's -- I mean, that, to me -- I don't know what -- care what your position on abortion is, but now we're not talking about abortion, not when the child has been born outside the womb and is alive. And Obama voted three times to support the notion of infanticide.

Clips from this hour:

Limbaugh: "Some might say Obama wants us to fail; he's cutting the defense budget"

Limbaugh uses Red River flooding to make "dike" jokes

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by déjà vu all over again
By Simon Maloy

Rush started off the final hour on the air this week in grand fashion, noting that a significant proportion of the questions submitted for the president's online town hall yesterday were on the legalization of marijuana. Not surprisingly, this turned out to be just another expression of the grand unified conspiracy theory of Obama chaos: "If the American people are ready for the destruction of capitalism, if the American people are ready for the destruction of the opportunity for the American dream, if the American people are ready to vote for an end to their chance to be prosperous, it must mean a lot of them want to sit around and do their doobies. But what's the big disconnect?"

You want more proof of the plan? Get this -- Rush read from a Fox News article on the United Nations' Copenhagen Accord on climate change, which reported that a document "will be distributed to a major environmental conclave next week envisions a huge reordering of the world economy, likely involving trillions of dollars in wealth transfer, millions of job losses and gains, new taxes, industrial relocations, new tariffs and subsidies, and complicated payments for greenhouse gas abatement schemes and carbon taxes." Noting that the Obama administration has "said it supports the Copenhagen treaty process" if it develops an effective global warming framework, Rush said: "It fits right in, ladies and gentlemen, with Obama's plan to destruct the foundation of capitalism in this country and replace it with a giant government and a huge, huge welfare state."

So the UN is in on the conspiracy too... And if they're working with ACORN, Google, and the sun, then we don't stand a chance. We're through the looking glass here, people.

Anyhow, back from the break, Rush noted that a CNN journalist and several people were arrested for standing on "dikes" in Fargo, North Dakota. This became an excuse for Rush to say "dike" over and over, to greater hilarity with each repetition. Then it was time for a "very serious" story about "Dingy" Harry Reid. The Politico reported that Reid said Chief Justice Roberts "misled the Senate during his confirmation hearings by pretending to be a moderate -- and that the United States is now 'stuck' with him as chief justice." Limbaugh linked this to "Banking Queen" Barney Frank's comment that Justice Scalia is a "homophobe," claiming that Democrats are trying to "intimidate" the conservatives on the Supreme Court because they aren't optimistic that any of the conservatives will retire from the court any time soon. (By the way, the logic behind Rush's theory that Democrats are aware of the fact that Supreme Court justices have life tenure but nevertheless are trying to "intimidate" those justices escapes us.)

After a scintillating conversation with a caller about congressional regulation of the Fed and a quick break, Rush returned to expressing his profound admiration for Daniel Hannan, the European Parliament member who appeared on Hannity last night after attacking British Prime Minister Gordon Brown in a speech earlier this week, calling him the "devalued prime minister of a devalued government." Rush claimed the speech resonated with Americans because of Hannan's British accent. Noting that Hannan talked (and Hannity lied) about health care in the United States, Limbaugh launched into an attack on Nancy Pelosi, calling her an "airhead" and "stupid."

Then another caller phoned in, offering Rush his solution to global warming. Rush cut him off, saying that he was committed to "the truth" on this show, explaining: "There is no global warming, so when you say that we have a solution to it, I -- you know, I throw my hands up." Rush added: "I don't care if there is warming or cooling, there's nothing we can do about it. We're just human beings. There's not a damn thing we can do to cause it or to stop it." We'll leave it to you to decide who you trust more on the subject: Rush, or science. Anyway, Rush and the caller argued for a bit about ethanol and methanol before Rush offered his "common sense" solution to the nation's energy needs -- just before the oil runs out the oil companies will figure out... something. "That's what they do." We just have to leave them alone. Sounds like a plan to us!

One more break and Rush ended the show exactly as he ended yesterday's show -- repeating almost word-for-word the "offensive" comments from yesterday for which he "apologized" today. A caller offered to explain her theory as to why people continue to like Obama, saying they're like women who call into radio psychologists explaining why they stay with their abusive husbands. Take it away, Rush: "It's like I said yesterday: 'Cheat on me, but don't tell me. ... Obama can do anything in the world. Just don't tell me what he's really doing, because I love the guy.' He's a cult leader. Battered liberal syndrome: 'Cheat on me, just don't tell me.' " Presumably Rush will "apologize" for this -- again -- on Monday. All we can do is wait...

And wait, the Limbaugh Wire shall! Be sure to join us again on Monday. We promise we'll be done talking about our NCAA bracket at that point, largely because it'll be little more than a pile of ashes at the bottom of the waste bin. In the meantime, enjoy your weekend, and please check out The World According to Rush, courtesy of your good friends at Media Matters.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: If the American people are ready for the destruction of capitalism, if the American people are ready for the destruction of the opportunity for the American dream, if the American people are ready to vote for an end to their chance to be prosperous, it must mean a lot of them want to sit around and do their doobies. But what's the big disconnect?

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The Obama administration said it supports the Copenhagen treaty process if, in the words of a U.S. State Department spokesman, it can come up with an effective framework for dealing with global warming. In other words, damn the consequences.

If we can claim that it fights global warming, we will do it. It fits right in, ladies and gentlemen, with Obama's plan to destruct the foundation of capitalism in this country and replace it with a giant government and a huge, huge welfare state.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: There is no global warming, so when you say that we have a solution to it, I -- you know, I throw my hands up. There's no solution to it, because there isn't any global warming. And I don't care if there is warming or cooling, there's nothing we can do about it. We're just human beings. There's not a damn thing we can do to cause it or to stop it. We're just prisoners here.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: It's like I said yesterday: "Cheat on me, but don't tell me. Obama can do" --

CALLER: Exactly. So --

LIMBAUGH: "Obama can do anything in the world. Just don't tell me what he's really doing, because I love the guy."

He's a cult leader. Battered liberal syndrome: "Cheat on me, just don't tell me."

Enemies list

House Speaker Pelosi:

LIMBAUGH: Nancy, honey, taxpayers are paying for health care. I don't care if it's coming [from] their company, their insurance -- taxpayers -- government health care is taxpayer-paid health care. The government can't pay for anything without taking money from people who produce it, unless they print it, which is sadly what is happening now. The third person in line for the presidency in this country is a complete airhead.