This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Gov. Rick Perry, who is "not a fringe kook"
By Simon Maloy

Remember that latest conspiracy theory coming out of El Rushbo, how the Department of Homeland Security report was created to discredit the tea parties? Turns out that report was written under the auspices of a DHS undersecretary appointed by... wait for it... George W. Bush. The plot thickens...

Rush kicked off today's show with some kind words for Susan Boyle of Britain's Got Talent and her virtuosic singing performance, lauding her for defying society's expectations and putting "a bullet through cynicism." However, Rush said that even though Ms. Boyle was so inspiring and "cool," there were still some media people who were being "snarky" in their coverage of her because she takes attention away from President Obama. He didn't offer any examples or explain how that makes any sense, but nonetheless he said the same thing happened with the tea party coverage yesterday. Rush claimed that when Obama was the one bringing people into the political process, the media reported it as a great thing because Obama is a black Democrat, and that fits the media "templates."

But those young people volunteering for Obama, Rush said, didn't know what he stood for, they were just members of a "cult of personality." The tea parties, however, had nothing to do with personality, said Rush. They were all about "substance." Really? The only "substance" we saw coming out the of tea parties was along the lines of "we hate taxes" and "we hate spending." Also, for a movement that had nothing to do with any one "personality," there certainly did seem to be a prevailing current of antipathy toward the president. Anyway, Rush claimed that because these rallies were not positive toward Obama, they "had to be impugned." According to Rush, the tea partiers are "extremists in the eyes of Janet Napolitano and others at the Department of Homeland Security," and "when Obama's policies are the centerpiece, then the people that showed up at the tea parties have to be monitored by Homeland Security." Monitored? Somehow we don't think DHS has that many black helicopters.

Rush then addressed the possibility that the tea parties could spawn a third-party movement, which he said would be "death." The key, he said, is for the existing political apparatus -- the Republicans -- to "harness" the energy of the tea partiers. Rush then noted that watching the media coverage of the tea parties was like watching stereotypes of right-wing groups -- pictures of gun nuts, anti-tax nuts, etc. -- and that is exactly what the media intended. They wanted the focus to be on who was there, rather than why they were there. Rush counseled those dispirited by the media coverage to just ignore it, because to seek validation from the mainstream press was a waste of time. Rush declared it is now "us versus them," and "them" now includes the media, "without question."

Coming back from the break, Rush attacked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for saying that the tea parties were little more than Astroturf. Despite ample evidence that there was some pretty serious Astroturfing going on, Rush called this a "lie." After another break, Rush had to gently disagree with Charles Krauthammer, adding the caveat that if he were in the position of having to choose someone else's brain as his own, it would be a toss-up between Krauthammer and Antonin Scalia. Rush specifically disagreed with Krauthammer's contention that yesterday's tea parties differed from the Boston Tea Party in that the colonialists were actually faced with "taxation without representation," whereas yesterday's tea partiers had their chance to vote and the Democrats won. Rush dissented, claiming that winning large majorities does not give the Democrats "carte blanche" to disregard the Constitution. Now, the Democrats aren't doing that, but aside from that, the point is well-taken. Then he claimed that the colonialists didn't actually have it that bad: "This is not a direct comparison of the Boston Tea Party. That was a revolt against far less than what's going on right now. Taxation without representation is one thing. This is -- that was a smidgeon of a problem compared to what's happening now."

Then he took some shots at CNN's Susan Roesgen for her confrontational interview with a tea partier in Chicago yesterday. Rush said that interview is why CNN is a joke, adding that Roesgen probably had no idea why those people were upset. Rush said they were upset at the fact that all the stimulus money had to be borrowed or printed. To us, it seemed like they were upset that Obama is a Nazi. Anyway, Rush claimed that Roesgen nonetheless "is a good reporter in that she's got great eye makeup -- fabulous eye makeup."

Rounding out the hour, Rush noted that Texas Gov. Rick Perry was talking about secession yesterday. Rush said it was "not insignificant" that Perry was talking up Texas leaving the union -- not for the obvious reason that a state executive is open to separating his state from the rest of the country -- but because Perry "is nowhere near a kook in any way, shape, manner, or form." Rush said this talk is a response to "the abuse of government."

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: This was new people being brought into the political process. But since it wasn't anything to do positively with Obama, it had to be impugned. The people had to be mischaracterized and criticized, and their reputations destroyed and so forth -- their very identities. The -- you know, the big -- as far as the media in concerned, the Democrat Party, since they're not caught up in personalities, since they're not part of a cult, since they're not out there bowing down to Obama, they're extremists in the eyes of Janet Napolitano and others at the Department of Homeland Security.

They're caught up in adult issues. These people at the tea parties were caught up in adult issues like irresponsible spending, self-defeating bailouts, higher taxes that are going to follow all of this.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: So when Obama's policies are the centerpiece, then the people that showed up at the tea parties have to be monitored by Homeland Security. People who have never been politically active showed up at tea parties yesterday. People who have never attended.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The radical socialist agenda is something that has been unveiled since the inauguration. It was not part of the campaign that people voted for, but I still maintain that most of the people that voted for Obama did so on the basis of cult. You had your Democrat Party loyalists, people that hate George Bush and hate Republicans and so forth. People that voted for Obama on substance are very, very few.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: These protests that happened yesterday -- and they're going to be ongoing -- they are about abusive government. Abusive government can take on many forms and has under the less than 100-day tutelage of Barack Obama. Certainly in this administration, they're going after the individual.

This administration is targeting the individual. This administration is targeting the private sector with a vengeance. This is not a direct comparison of the Boston Tea Party. That was a revolt against far less than what's going on right now. Taxation without representation is one thing. This is -- that was a smidgeon of a problem compared to what's happening now.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Now this is not insignificant when the governor of Texas talks about "we could secede. I don't think it's going to happen. I hope it doesn't, but we could." When the governor of Texas starts talking about this because of the abuse of government on his citizens and on his state, and forcing his state to take federal money when he doesn't want it.

And I also think -- you know, there's still -- I run into them -- there's still some conservatives who still -- the drive-by media is gospel to them. I say they're conservatives; they're not active. They're not liberals, they're just -- and I'm wondering at some point how much of the excesses of the media are going to finally start causing other people to have lights go on in their head and say, "Hey, something's not quite right here when you have the governor of Texas start talking about the possibility of getting out of all of this because of the abuse of government." That's going to cause -- 'cause this guy is not a fringe kook. This guy is nowhere near a kook in any way, shape, manner, or form.

Ladies' man

LIMBAUGH: I've been thinking about this during the break. The CNN reporter, Susan Roesgen -- in her own twisted way, she's right. 'Cause if you object to government abuse, then you would object to CNN as well, since CNN is nothing more than the voice of government. CNN is nothing more than the voice of Obama. So, if you object to government abuse, then why -- yeah, of course, you would object to CNN.

So, if you are anti-black listing by Homeland Security, if you are anti-socialism, if you are pro-life, if you are anti-national health care, if you're anti-appeasement of our enemies, then you would be anti-CNN.

Where is Candy Crowley when we need her? Where is Frank Sesno when we need him? I mean, he had a thing for Gorbachev but other than that, Frank was pretty good. Where are all the great names that used to be -- where are the Bernard Shaw, who fled from the Al-Rasheed Hotel in Baghdad? Where are all the greats?

But Susan Roesgen is a good reporter in that she's got great eye make-up -- fabulous eye makeup. Did you notice? That counts on television.

Clips from this hour

Rush defends Texas Gov. Perry's secession comments "because this guy is not a fringe* kook"

Limbaugh: "When Obama's policies are the centerpiece then the people that showed up at the tea parties have to be monitored by Homeland Security."

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by NSA's Limbaugh wiretaps
By Simon Maloy

Rush got the second hour started by noting that French President Nicolas Sarkozy gently mocked President Obama, saying that when Obama comes to Normandy for the 65th anniversary of the Allied landings, Sarkozy will "ask him to walk on the Channel, and he will." Rush loved this and agreed with the American Thinker that it must be unprecedented for a head of state to mock another head of state like that. Anyway, Rush speculated that the White House will actually put a glass walkway under the water so that Obama can appear to be walking on water. It would be just like when Clinton went to Normandy as president, Rush said, and he walked the beach by himself, stopping to bend down and assemble a cross out of stones on the beach. That was a set-up, Rush alleged -- there are "no stones" on Normandy beach, and the White House advance team dumped a bunch of rocks there ahead of time so Clinton could have the photo-op.

Coming back from the break, Rush took a call from an organizer of the Albuquerque tea party who defended the grassroots nature of the events, claiming that the local businesses offered sponsorship. Rush demanded to know "what the hell is wrong with a local business" getting involved. If, in fact, anyone had actually suggested that it was wrong for businesses to do so, then Rush's query might be interesting. Anyway, Rush cautioned the man that he has to expect that the media is going to attack him and misreport the tea party movement, but the best thing to do is ignore them because they want the man to be obsessed with how they distort what he says. You'll recall from the previous hour that Rush devoted a not insignificant amount of time "obsessing" over Susan Roesgen's tea party reporting.

Rush's next caller said Roesgen was wrong in asking why there were no African-Americans at the Chicago tea party, claiming that there were lots of African-Americans in attendance. Rush said this just fits into the media "template" that the GOP is "racist." His next caller also attacked Roesgen, saying she made a fool of herself, and talked up the tea parties. Rush repeated his opinion that third parties are not the way to go -- look at what happened with Ross Perot in 1992. The key, according to Rush, is kicking out a whole bunch of incumbents like the Republicans did in 1994, and these tea parties are a "threat" to Democrats and the media because they undercut the notion that everyone in the country is behind Obama.

After the break, Rush put in another plug for Mark Levin's Liberty and Tyranny, saying that it couldn't have been better timed because it dovetails nicely with the tea party movement. This book, according to Rush, is where people can look to learn the basics of conservatism.

Rush's next caller thought that the "liberals" were so defensive over the tea parties because they used to have activism cornered. Rush said there's a key difference -- most liberal protests are "rent-a-mobs" that consist of union workers who are "cajoled" and "threatened" into attending. He again attacked Nancy Pelosi for calling the tea parties "Astroturf," pointing out that the right-wing blog Sweetness & Light said the term "Astroturfing" was invented to describe what David Axelrod's firm did. We're not sure what that has to do with the tea parties and the big-time conservative organizations that promoted them, but there you have it.

The next caller was also talking up the tea parties, though he didn't attend one, but was happy that this "shot across the bow" had been fired. Rush said Obama wants "the largest welfare state he can get" and "as much federal control as he can secure for himself." He then ended the call, explaining: "[Y]ou're talking about ... the first shot over the bow -- don't forget the Department of Homeland Security is monitoring us now, and you've identified yourself as coming from Bucks County, and you've admitted that you are rich. I mean, you couldn't make yourself a bigger target by having -- admitting all this on the program today." Rush then counseled any future tea partiers that if the media do show up at the next round of tea parties and start asking questions, they should respond by asking where the journalists are.

After some extended commentary on the stupidity of today's youth posting incriminating videos online, Rush took one last call for the hour, this one from a tea party attendee who said that a woman there read a speech Limbaugh's father once delivered regarding the Declaration of Independence.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: I think this is about as much federal control as he can secure for himself and the Democrat Party. Now, Mike, I'm going to end your call right now because you're talking about in the first shot over the bow -- don't forget the Department of Homeland Security is monitoring us now, and you've identified yourself as coming from Bucks County, and you've admitted that you are rich. I mean, you couldn't make yourself a bigger target by having -- admitting all this on the program today.

And in addition to that, we have learned here that the National Security Agency -- does all the monitoring of phone calls and emails -- has been collecting even more information than usual on domestic phone calls made by us, made by Americans. So I'm going to try to protect you from any more risk that you put yourself under by being so open about this.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the pierced and tattooed spies of "the left"
By Simon Maloy

One more hour to go, and Rush kicked it off in fine fashion, attacking Janet Napolitano for saying on Morning Joe today, in response to questioning over the DHS report, that "our job is to protect against terrorism, whether it comes from abroad or internally." Rush was outraged, said she was digging the hole deeper by characterizing people as terrorists... Once again, the DHS report deals with people who are violent anti-government and racist groups, not Grover Norquist. But Rush went on to compare this report to the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1794, saying over and over that this legislation was intended to destroy Thomas Jefferson's "Republican Party." Republican Party? We're sure he meant to say, accurately, Jefferson's "Democratic-Republican Party." No, wait, sorry, we're dealing with Rush here: Jefferson's "Democrat-Republican Party."

Anyway, Rush said this report is what he meant when he said in the past that the Obama administration would "overreach." Rush added: "[T]his is Obama, by the way. This is not her. This is Obama. This is Jeremiah Wright. This is all of these people that Obama has grown up with that are angry, outraged -- the unfair majorities in this country have oppressed long enough and it's about time they were dealt with." No! No, it's not. Even Fox News says it isn't about conservatives. DHS released a report on "left-wing" extremists as well -- there is no targeting going on. None, zero, zip, zilch, nada. And yet, Rush said: "[I]f they actually try to implement this stuff -- you're just driving around with a pro-life bumper sticker or whatever -- if they actually try to put people in jail or to, in other ways, to somehow prevent them from involving themselves politically, that could become a tipping point."

Then Rush hit us with some extraordinarily subtle satire, saying that Obama has redefined the avenue to prosperity, and it involves racking up all the debt you can, investing it all in green energy and then borrowing from the Chinese when the investments fail. That's what Obama is doing to the federal budget, Rush said, and since that's Obama's "prescription" for prosperity, it makes sense that the same would apply to household budgets.

Between breaks, Rush aired some of Janet Napolitano's remarks on Fox & Friends this morning , during which she said that Timothy McVeigh was trained by the military. Rush's response was to call "these people" -- Obama, Napolitano, Democrats, etc. -- "hideous." Coming back from commercial, Rush read from an AP story that reported that "Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton is announcing new efforts to freeze pirate booty." We knew where this one was going immediately, and Rush didn't disappoint: "For those of you in the AP, the words 'Clinton' and 'booty' are two words that should not be close together in a news story. Clinton's trying to get a legacy out there and you're not helping when you write sentences like this: 'Clinton is announcing new efforts to freeze pirate booty.' "

Rush went on to take a call from a man who was upset that the conservatives are not "hammering Obama" the same way the "liberal media" did George W. Bush. Rush said that conservatives are, in fact, hammering Obama, the difference is they're not "lying" about him. This proved to be an excellent set-up for the remainder of the conversation, during which the caller expressed his skepticism that Obama made millions of dollars in book royalties. Rush explained that Obama probably did make all that money from his books, adding: "He also got some from Tony Rezko to buy his house." And just like that, Rush's claim that he doesn't "lie" about Obama evaporated.

One more caller before the break, this one explaining how his boss had told him that he saw a bunch of tattooed and pierced young people protesting Obama in Portland, Oregon. Rush speculated that they might have been those "leftists" who had planned to infiltrate the tea parties. That makes sense -- if you're going to send someone to "infiltrate" a crowd, you want the most conspicuously tattooed and pierced people you can find.

After the final break, Rush took another drive down Hypocrisy Lane, overwhelmingly praising GM's Total Confidence Plan. As we pointed out the last time he did this, Rush trashed the very same program just a few weeks ago. Now, Rush hasn't explained what brought about this sudden change of heart, but we're considering taking up a collection so he'll finally start saying some nice things about us.

Rush closed out the program by criticizing CNBC for creating a "personality"-driven network, drawing from reports that CNBC executives held a meeting to discuss "whether they've turned into the President Obama-bashing network." Rush said they're worried about not being able to attract liberal guests.

That's it for the Wire for today -- we're obligated to tell you that we shamelessly stole a couple of jokes from a colleague for this hour. Anyway, while we think up fresh material, please revisit Media Matters' comprehensive Limbaugh coverage.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: This is what I meant when I said, some months ago, that it's likely the Obama administration is going to overreach. At some point, they're going to do something that will be a tipping point. Now I don't know that this is it. This is just a summary. This DHS report is just a summary -- bad enough as a summary -- and she's not walking away from it. She's standing firmly behind it.

I think she piled on here when she now says we've got to -- you've got to be aware of terrorist threats outside and inside the country. She didn't try to soothe any of this or change any of it. So, if this administration, if -- and this is Obama, by the way. This is not her. This is Obama. This is Jeremiah Wright. This is all of these people that Obama has grown up with that are angry, outraged -- the unfair majorities in this country have oppressed long enough and it's about time they were dealt with.

So, that's their thinking. So, it could well be that if they hang tough with this, and if they actually try to implement this stuff -- you're just driving around with a pro-life bumper sticker or whatever -- if they actually try to put people in jail or to, in other ways, to somehow prevent them from involving themselves politically, that could become a tipping point.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: First, try this story. This is from the AP -- "Clinton announces new Somali anti-piracy steps": "Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton is announcing new efforts to freeze pirate booty." Now, I'll tell you something: For those of you in the AP, the words "Clinton" and "booty" are two words that should not be close together in a news story.

Clinton's trying to get a legacy out there and you're not helping when you write sentences like this: "Clinton is announcing new efforts to freeze pirate booty."

America's Truth Rejector

Falsely claimed Obama "got some" money from Rezko to buy his house:

LIMBAUGH: The standard operating procedure is that you get 15 percent of the average retail price. So, if you've got a book -- or 30 percent, rather, you get a third. So, if a book sells for 25, you get eight bucks. For 24, you get, you know, a little less. So, it's possible that somebody could sell 2 million books and make $6 million.

CALLER: I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time believing that he's made that kind of money.

LIMBAUGH: Well, he did. He also got some from Tony Rezko to buy his house. But why is that so hard for you to believe? Just 'cause of -- it's all book income.

Clips from this hour

Limbaugh: "[T]he words 'Clinton' and 'booty' are two words that should not be close together in a news story."