This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Dick Cheney ... after all, he "gets results"
By Karl Frisch and Greg Lewis

It's a glorious day for another edition of the Limbaugh Wire, isn't it? As per yesterday's recommendation, we awoke angry from our night of slumber and treaded with ire through the streets of D.C. on our way to the Wire's secret underground bunker, all the while exhaling carbon dioxide, which, thanks to Professor Limbaugh, we now know isn't a "poison."

Rush wasted no time today, starting his show discussing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's press conference from earlier today, in which she further elaborated on briefings on the Bush administration use of "enhanced interrogation techniques" she did and didn't attend in 2002 and 2003. Limbaugh explained that this couldn't be seen as an "isolated thing." This, combined with Obama's reversal on releasing detainee abuse photos, translates to one thing: "Dick Cheney gets results."

Noting that the "fireworks have just begun," Rush repeated his conspiracy theory from yesterday: that Pelosi's torture briefing controversy is a calculated move by the Obama administration in order to oust Pelosi as Speaker and replace her with Majority Leader Steny Hoyer.

El Rushbo then laid down his criticism of Pelosi saying that Democrats have been high and mighty about torture, and now it turns out Pelosi "allowed torture." Of course, Rush couldn't discuss Pelosi without taking cheap shots at her appearance: "[S]he was nervous, those eyes are blinking left and right, that had to -- sure, she gets a lot of exercise when she blinks. Do you realize the muscle exertion required for Nancy Pelosi to blink? So if she works out daily, she can skip it today because she had it during the press conference." Speaking of exercise, we're surprised Rush didn't segue into another discussion of his diet and recent weight loss success like he did on yesterday's show.

After playing several audio clips of Pelosi's presser, Rush predicted "fireworks" in the news cycle. Then, America's Truth Rejecter finished off the segment criticizing Pelosi for lacking the talent to lie like Bill Clinton and Barack Obama: "Is this woman bright, or is this pure political calculation? Nancy Pelosi is so clumsy at this. Liberals lie -- I mean, by definition, liberalism has to obscure what it really believes. Obama and Bill Clinton make this look easy. It's like I've always asked you people, don't try what I do at home. The great make it look easy, but once you try it -- Pelosi thinks she can pull off Obama and Clinton, but it's obvious that she can't. It's a real talent to be able to lie, it's a real talent to be able throw blame elsewhere and have people love you and believe you. This didn't work today. It didn't work for the speaker of the House."

Of course, nobody has the talent to mislead quite like Rush -- he's got a Ph.D. in advanced misinformation studies from the EIB institute.

Back from the break, Rush read from Dan Balz's Washington Post article, headlined "As Cheney Seizes Spotlight, Many Republicans Wince," which was more evidence for him that Cheney "gets results." He then moved on to Obama potentially keeping Guantanamo detainees without trial, which the left is "on fire" over today because as he explains, it is the same as Bush's policy. Limbaugh then explained how liberals who voted for Obama are anti-American: "The wheels are starting to come off here a little bit because these were fundamental elements of Obama's identity during the campaign. These are the fundamental elements that have attracted the left and emboldened them -- anti-American military, embarrass them, humiliate them, make them lose. Terrorists are the good guys, we shouldn't be capturing them, we are the reason they are terrorists."

After another brief commercial interruption, Rush was back to speculating over Obama's reversal on the detainee photos. Rush says there are three possible explanations for this. First, he claimed -- mockingly - it's because Obama will be giving a speech in Egypt on Muslim-American relations. The second possibility is that an "adult" in the administration pointed out to Rush that the Abu Ghraib pictures made America look bad. The third possibility is that Obama is trying to essentially have his cake and eat it too. Mmmm, cake. You see, Rush thinks Obama's opposition to releasing the pictures is just a political play -- he will then have his Justice Department write a "pitiful brief" about it so that when it goes to the court, they will rule against the administration. In other words, as El Rushbo explained, just because Obama is opposing the pictures, doesn't mean they won't be released.

Rounding out the hour, Rush took a couple of callers, and reiterated some of the points he had made earlier in the hour on Pelosi and Obama.  In a conversation with one of the dittoheads, he took another swipe at Pelosi: "[I]t's queen bee syndrome. She has the queen bee syndrome. And by the way, I want to warn all of you lurking in the background, invisible in all of this, is Mrs. Clinton. Keep in mind Mrs. Clinton is there. And Pelosi may be in the process of self-destructing, and Obama -- who knows in four years what his fate is going to be. Pelosi whacked Harman. She was supposed to chair the Intel Committee, and Harman didn't get it. Queen bee syndrome." It's hard to imagine El Rushbo using such an analogy to describe a scenario among male politicians. He concluded with a quip that Pelosi was essentially being waterboarded as she "fight[s] for her career" today, "drip, drip, drip."

Highlights from Hour 1

Echo chamber:

Rush praised Bill Sammon's comments on Fox News shortly after Pelosi's press conference.

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: Now, here's Pelosi after the press conference, after -- and by the way, she forgot herself during this thing, she had to consult her written statements, she was nervous, those eyes are blinking left and right, that had to -- sure, she gets a lot of exercise when she blinks. Do you realize the muscle exertion required for Nancy Pelosi to blink? So if she works out daily, she can skip it today because she had it during the press conference.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Is this woman bright, or is this pure political calculation? Nancy Pelosi is so clumsy at this. Liberals lie -- I mean, by definition, liberalism has to obscure what it really believes. Obama and Bill Clinton make this look easy. It's like I've always asked you people, don't try what I do at home. The great make it look easy, but once you try it -- Pelosi thinks she can pull off Obama and Clinton, but it's obvious that she can't. It's a real talent to be able to lie, it's a real talent to be able throw blame elsewhere and have people love you and believe you. This didn't work today. It didn't work for the speaker of the House.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The wheels are starting to come off here a little bit because these were fundamental elements of Obama's identity during the campaign. These are the fundamental elements that have attracted the left and emboldened them -- anti-American military, embarrass them, humiliate them, make them lose. Terrorists are the good guys, we shouldn't be capturing them, we are the reason they are terrorists.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Now, that's an interesting statement, because the left -- you know, his base -- has anti-American opinion. They don't like this country. Obama's militant base doesn't like this country, and they thought he was one of them.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I mean, it's queen bee syndrome. She has the queen bee syndrome. And by the way, I want to warn all of you lurking in the background, invisible in all of this, is Mrs. Clinton. Keep in mind Mrs. Clinton is there. And Pelosi may be in the process of self-destructing, and Obama -- who knows in four years what his fate is going to be. Pelosi whacked Harman. She was supposed to chair the Intel Committee, and Harman didn't get it. Queen bee syndrome.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by "creeping socialism"
By Karl Frisch and Greg Lewis

Rush began the second hour of today's program commenting on Sen. John McCain's mother's comments about Rush on last night's Tonight Show. Rush played some audio clips and then suggested that McCain probably plotted with his mother to "dump[]" on El Rushbo.

Then Limbaugh read a story from The Wall Street Journal reporting on unemployment numbers. Rush reiterated his statements from yesterday, accusing the Obama administration of targeting achievers in the country, as well as those striving to become achievers. Rush said they are making it more "improbable" for people to realize the American dream, and that Obama's voters are the ones "getting screwed."

The talker "with talent on loan from God" then discussed how the "bureaucrats" are running Chrysler -- by planning to close over 3,000 dealerships (actually, it's 789) and cutting their advertising budget, claiming this would tremendously hurt the private sector and make their cars "invisible" and harder to find. Limbaugh complains a lot about how the government is handling the auto industry's problems -- we'd like to hear his comprehensive alternatives sometime. Rush then talked about his perception of how Obama is handling these situations: "You know, Hugo Chavez doesn't have the cojones to try what Obama is trying without legislation. Every day, every day brings more and more creeping socialism. And he's trying to ram it through as quickly as possible. Succeeding, too, before there's a serious revolution to it all." Viva la revolucion!

Rush then posed a question to the dittoheads: "You ever notice that everywhere you look, everywhere you look in our society, in our country, where there is an industry in major trouble you'll find a union? In the public sector, whenever there's trouble you will find a union?" Rush answered this question with a blog post from his beloved Heritage Foundation about the "public-sector union threat to economic recovery."

After the break, Rush took a few calls. The first caller asked a question regarding Obama releasing the detainee photos, and Rush repeated his point from the previous hour that Obama could prevent their release with an executive order, but he's not doing that. The next caller asked about the political implications for Obama's agenda if he releases records that would hurt Pelosi. Rush thought the records would eventually get released anyway, and said again that Pelosi is fighting for her career.

Well, Rush had been relatively tame so far today -- until the next segment, when he excoriated Obama over his commencement speech at Arizona State University yesterday. The gist of Limbaugh's anger, which he expressed in between playing clip of the president's speech, was that Obama was taking aim at "self-interest" and "rugged individualism" when he advised graduates not to only strive for wealth. Rush continued: "Is that what the graduates at Arizona State University wanted to hear, that America sucks? You've just spent four or five years, whatever number of years they've spent there. They sure as hell did not go to college to join a homeless shelter. They did not go to college to flip hamburgers. They didn't go to college to sit around and not use their education. Is that what they want to hear, that America sucks? From the president of the United States?"

Then, after playing some clips in which Obama implored graduates to consider working at nonprofits, Rush responded: "By definition, how does a nonprofit operate? A nonprofit begs for money from other people. A nonprofit lives on donations, and the people who run nonprofits have to siphon some of the donations that they collect as their salaries." Rush, however, did clarify a few minutes later that some nonprofits are OK -- probably when he realized his blanket attack on nonprofits would have included conservative groups like The Heritage Foundation. By the way, you can support Media Matters with a donation -- you know, in honor of Rush's comment.

In the final segment before the break, Limbaugh again summed up his feelings on Obama's "outrageous" commencement address: ": You just heard four sound bytes from Obama, commencement speech at Arizona State: America sucks, American exceptionalism is over, the American military is immoral, and you shouldn't strive anything -- toward anything that involves improving yourself. You should work for the success of others." You can judge for yourself the message President Obama left with ASU grads by watching the entire commencement address here: part 1, part 2, part 3.

Highlights from Hour 2

Echo chamber:

Rush read from a post on The Heritage Foundation's The Foundry blog.

Socialist watch:

LIMBAUGH: You know, Hugo Chavez doesn't have the cojones to try what Obama is trying without legislation. Every day, every day brings more and more creeping socialism. And he's trying to ram it through as quickly as possible. Succeeding, too, before there's a serious revolution to it all.

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: You ever notice that everywhere you look, everywhere you look in our society, in our country, where there is an industry in major trouble you'll find a union? In the public sector, whenever there's trouble you will find a union?

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Is that what the graduates at Arizona State University wanted to hear, that America sucks? You've just spent four or five years, whatever number of years they've spent there. They sure as hell did not go to college to join a homeless shelter. They did not go to college to flip hamburgers. They didn't go to college to sit around and not use their education. Is that what they want to hear, that America sucks? From the president of the United States?

[...]

LIMBAUGH: By definition, how does a nonprofit operate? A nonprofit begs for money from other people. A nonprofit lives on donations, and the people who run nonprofits have to siphon some of the donations that they collect as their salaries.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: You just heard four sound bytes from Obama, commencement speech at Arizona State: America sucks, American exceptionalism is over, the American military is immoral, and you shouldn't strive anything -- toward anything that involves improving yourself. You should work for the success of others.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Rush's personal demons and how they're just like the Dems' quest for power

Hour three of Rush's program today brought us more discussion of the automobile industry. Rush read from an MSNBC article on the over 3,000 GM and Chrysler dealership closings. At one point during his monologue, Limbaugh bet that Obama has been working on which dealerships survive based on campaign donations, because "this is how Democrats do this." Then he moved on to the news that GM wants to start importing cars from China. Rush wondered if some executive at GM was throwing out this idea so he could get himself canned. Rush also noted that GM cars are made at much cheaper prices by "ChiCom workers" than "Gettelfinger workers." Rush explained that Obama's logic, from his ASU speech, is that if you're looking to get rich, it's a sin. Under that logic, Rush explained, the only way GM and Chrysler dealership could stay open is if people make money.

After the break, Rush took a call from a dittohead who wanted to know what Democrats want to do with all of their power. In a moment that was both revealing and offensive, Rush responded to the caller by explaining to her that Democrats are addicted to power. Rush then likened this to the addictions that he has confronted in the past. It was quite interesting to hear him openly talk about his personal demons -- water he rarely treads on his show. But it was also disappointing that he immediately used this as an analogy to rip Democrats: "These people are addicted to power because they think it is their birthright. And I'm not just talking about the people in Washington, elected officials. I'm talking about some of -- not all -- but some of the rank-and-file madcap insane liberals that you will find blogging, that you will find emailing, that you will find on the protest march. Their lives are basically meaningless. The addiction to power and dominance and control is what drives them. and the thing about an addiction is it can never be satisfied. There is never a day where you say, 'All right. Ah.' Because you have to feed it every day. Anything that stands in the way of the addiction requires your attention to overcome, to get around, to somehow take care of."

Coming back from the break, El Rushbo read an email from a distraught listener: "I just got this email, and I'm glad I got this email because I need to expand on this. It is from a woman who says she's almost in tears listening to me in Raleigh, North Carolina. Her name's Katherine. 'Dear Rush, I am so upset because I respect you so much, I respect your opinion so much, I just can't believe my job is worthless.' "  After reading the email, Rush took another swipe at nonprofits:"Now, she doesn't describe her job, but what to you think the odds are she works at a non-profit? ... Yeah, I call 'em bloodsuckers. But that -- but -- but -- I've gotten a lot of email on that too. 'Rush, you know that tonight on the media, "Limbaugh calls nonprofits bloodsuckers." ' " Rush later elaborated on this, saying that he is not condemning anybody who wants to earn a living by helping others, but that Obama is "impugning" and "castigating" earners and providers who make nonprofits possible.

Anyway, from here Rush continued airing his grievances regarding Obama's commencement address at ASU. Like a broken record, he issued his defense of self interest and selfishness, and explained how he had a "huge problem" with sacrifice, because sacrifice gives Democrats permission to take things from people. Rush later posed these questions for Obama: "Sir, how would you have gotten where you are if you didn't put yourself first? President Obama, if you behaved the way you advised graduates at Arizona State University, you would have given the presidency to John McCain. He's more deserving, he's older, he served in a war. You could have done a great thing. You could have really sacrificed. "Oh, this me first, oh, that's horrible to think about yourself. It's horrible." He wouldn't have gotten where he is, he wouldn't stay where he is if he hadn't put himself first. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first."

Finishing off today's program, Rush answered questions from a few more dittoheads primarily concerned with the ASU commencement. This gave Rush more opportunities to rehash and repeat the same points he had been making for the past hour: defending self interest, etc. The final caller asked what Limbaugh thought would happen at Obama's Notre Dame commencement this Sunday. Rush speculated that Obama might tell graduates to become priests or nuns -- but then rejected that idea because priests and nuns oppose abortion. 

That's it for today's Limbaugh Wire. We'll leave you with Rush's final comments of the hour, since they pretty much speak for themselves: "You know, I didn't go to college, so the commencement's no big deal to me. I went to high school -- I didn't go to that. Just give me the yearbook, get out of here. I had no signatures in my yearbook, I didn't go to the party. Get me outta here. And I'm sure if I'd finished college, it would've been the same way. So, you know, the speaker, it's just delaying the kegger, you know, it's no big deal."

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: These people are addicted to power because they think it is their birthright. And I'm not just talking about the people in Washington, elected officials. I'm talking about some of -- not all -- but some of the rank-and-file madcap insane liberals that you will find blogging, that you will find emailing, that you will find on the protest march. Their lives are basically meaningless. The addiction to power and dominance and control is what drives them. and the thing about an addiction is it can never be satisfied. There is never a day where you say, "All right. Ah." Because you have to feed it every day. Anything that stands in the way of the addiction requires your attention to overcome, to get around, to somehow take care of.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I just got this email, and I'm glad I got this email because I need to expand on this. It is from a woman who says she's almost in tears listening to me in Raleigh, North Carolina. Her name's Katherine. "Dear Rush, I am so upset because I respect you so much, I respect your opinion so much, I just can't believe my job is worthless." Now, she doesn't describe her job, but what do you think the odds are she works at a nonprofit?

[...]

LIMBAUGH: What are you laughing at, Snerdley? What? Yeah, I call 'em bloodsuckers. But that -- but -- but -- I've gotten a lot of email on that too. "Rush, you know that tonight on the media, 'Limbaugh calls nonprofits bloodsuckers.' "

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I want to ask President Obama a question: Sir, how would you have gotten where you are if you didn't put yourself first? President Obama, if you behaved the way you advised graduates at Arizona State University, you would have given the presidency to John McCain. He's more deserving, he's older, he served in a war. You could have done a great thing. You could have really sacrificed. "Oh, this me first, oh, that's horrible to think about yourself. It's horrible." He wouldn't have gotten where he is, he wouldn't stay where he is if he hadn't put himself first. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first.