This hour of the Limbaugh Wire is brought to you by the horrors of Botox withdrawal and anal poisoning
By Karl Frisch and Greg Lewis

Well, the story of Nancy Pelosi and her briefing with the CIA has taken some more twists in the past 24 hours. Before we get into Limbaugh's remarks about this today, let's take this opportunity to put a few things out there. The Washington Post's Greg Sargent pointed out earlier today how the story is being reported in a rather one-sided manner. At issue is a dispute between Pelosi's and the CIA's recollections of the briefing, and yet, as Sargent noted, "it's a simple matter of fact that Nancy Pelosi's claims about what she was told and when about torture are getting far more intense media scrutiny than the CIA's claims are." We share this story on the Wire not because we hold Limbaugh to such esteemed levels of journalism, but only to demonstrate how adults might look at this hazy issue before we delve into today's dose of Rush's tomfoolery (remember how absurd Rush's Pelosi commentary was yesterday?)

"Benevolent dictator" Rush kicked off "Open Line Friday" brimming with excitement, exclaiming that Obama "has thrown himself under the bus" by "attack[ing]" his own spending policies. At one Rush asked if Obama were the "new Houdini" because he's trying to "escape" his own policies. To make a long rant short, Rush was really excited that Obama was recognizing well understood economic principles. Then Rush gave his theory as to why Obama "has thrown himself under the bus": "He just ripped to shreds everything he's done in the first 100 days. I think what's actually going on here, he knows that he's being followed around by a bunch of sycophants who are going to die of anal poisoning before the year's out. And his voters are just, you know, they're space cadets still in love with the whole image thing."

The Rush moved on to Pelosi versus the CIA, explaining that everybody knew what the CIA was going to do with enhanced interrogation techniques, but nobody stood up and called it torture. Rush reminded us of his old theory that it can only be torture if we intend for it to be torture: "So maybe none of this is actually torture. And of course by definition, by statute-tory definition in this country, it can only be torture if you intend it to be. In other words, torture cannot happen by accident." (Yes, he said "statute-tory.")

Oh, and lest we forget, there were more juvenile swings at Pelosi from El Rushbo. Speaking of her press conference yesterday, Rush noted: "She was shaking. That could be Botox withdrawal. I don't want to be too hard on the shaking." He later described her as a "crab" in the way she walked out of the press conference. Then he finished off the segment with a fascinating discussion of the glass ceiling: "But we are going to learn soon, folks, if women are the equal of men. We are going to learn very soon if women can finally break the glass ceiling. And you know what the test is? Let me tell you what the test is. Will Nancy Pelosi resign as speaker of the House? That's the test."

Anyway, after the break, the right-wing talker's excitement then turned to outrage -- or so we thought. We have to listen to Rush's show linearly, but recapping this will be more pleasant if we can couple it with what Rush said about 10 minutes later. Rush began the segment expressing what seemed like genuine outrage over the reported detainee photos released by the UK Telegraph and posted on the front page of Drudge. However, later, Rush couldn't hold it in anymore -- his producer Snerdly told him the subjects in the photos looked like "some pervert" in a nude exercise video, to which Rush added: "If that's torture, I weigh 102 pounds."

Then Rush took a caller who was upset over the Chrysler and GM dealership closings. Rush was as well, and blamed Obama for closing them, calling the Chrysler bankruptcy unconstitutional.

Later, Rush reminded us of the story during the stimulus debate of Obama giving a speech at a Caterpillar factory in Indiana, mentioning that the CEO of the company had promised him that he would be able to hire some people if the stimulus passed -- a promise that turned out to be somewhat misleading. Rush read an article reporting that the promised $2 trillion in savings the health care industry promised earlier this week are an overstatement, and that industry representatives are now claiming the president "misspoke." This led Rush to comment that the Obama administration is "showing no regret, no compunction whatsoever about being authoritarian, autocratic. They're governing in fear, and everybody that they're coming in contact with is afraid of them." Obama and Pelosi are lying, according to Rush.

Limbaugh rounded out the hour with a call from a dittohead who was concerned that GM and Chrysler closing dealerships will cause them to lose market share to their foreign competitors. Rush ponders these thoughts with the caller for a few moments, but eventually declares that Obama is going to get rid of trucks. That's an interesting observation from Rush to be sure, seeing that there's really no proof for such an absurd claim. 

Authoritarian Watch:

LIMBAUGH: This administration showing no regret, no compunction whatsoever about being authoritarian, autocratic. They're governing in fear, and everybody that they're coming in contact with is afraid of them.

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: So maybe none of this is actually torture. And of course by definition, by statute-tory definition in this country, it can only be torture if you intend it to be. In other words, torture cannot happen by accident.

[...]

 LIMBAUGH: But I'm still stuck here, folks, on Obama condemning his first 100 days in office [laughing]. He has just stated with more clarity than ever and brevity than ever how he has wrecked the economy for years to come. He just spelled it -- he told everybody. He just condemned what he did. He just ripped to shreds everything he's done in the first 100 days. I think what's actually going on here, he knows that he's being followed around by a bunch of sycophants who are going to die of anal poisoning before the year's out. And his voters are just, you know, they're space cadets still in love with the whole image thing.

[...]

 LIMBAUGH: But we are going to learn soon, folks, if women are the equal of men. We are going to learn very soon if women can finally break the glass ceiling. And you know what the test is? Let me tell you what the test is. Will Nancy Pelosi resign as speaker of the House? That's the test.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the "Democrat Party's" enemies list
By Karl Frisch and Greg Lewis

Rush kicked off the hour still thinking about the caller from the previous hour who asked about how the car dealerships being closed would move their remaining inventory. Rush came up with a few ways to do this. He suggested that you could put the cars under the Community Reinvestment Act, which is what caused people to buy houses they couldn't afford (except that it didn't), so that the "subprime crowd" could get cars now, too. Give them a car, and don't make them pay for it, Rush explained, or just give the leftover cars to Africa.

Then Rush moved on to a segment on CNBC's Money Watch yesterday in which host Maria Bartiromo interviewed Jonathan Tasini from the Labor Research Association. They discussed, to put it kindly, the effect of unions in American industry. Rush played some audio bites from this, starting with Bartiromo asking why industries that have high union levels tend to fail. Tasini argued about the need for single-payer health care in the country to help these industries survive, and Bartiromo accused him of inciting class warfare. Rush, who referred to Tasini as a "union thug," explained that this is "Obamaism": they want people to get paid for life and get health-care benefits.

Rush expanded on this thought after the break. He asked why productivity has skyrocketed. The answer? Because only 8 percent of the American workforce in unionized, and unions negotiate their contracts in order to be paid to sit on the couch. Rush decided that if unions represented 15 percent of the workforce, then 15 percent would be unproductive. Rush had another point: The government is highly unionized, and you can't say they're productive.

Then Rush went back to a story he'd been referencing for the past half hour but that to this point seemed too insignificant to mention. However, his remarks became increasingly aggravating about it, until we felt compelled to address it. The article was about a model solar-powered house constructed in Troy, Michigan, that suffered extensive damage last winter when frozen water pipes burst (a not uncommon occurrence). Also, Rush's effort to paint all green buildings as unreliable is shameful. LEED-certified buildings and communities have had great success all over the country and the world. But it's not like Rush would recognize such success.

After Rush finished complaining about all things green (for the moment, at least), he moved on to a caller who was eager to rant about the evils of socialized medicine. The caller argued that we have the best health care in the world, and that socialized medicine will result in lost doctors and decreased quality of patient care. Rush agreed entirely, and followed up with an audio clip from last night's Charlie Rose Show, in which Rose interviewed SEIU's Andy Stern. Rush was bothered by this exchange in particular:

ROSE: I think this president wants to do this, A, because on the merits, he wants to do it and he believes it's essential and necessary, as is, as you say, the emerging consensus is, or I say. But he also wants to do this as a tribute to Senator Kennedy, and get it done.

STERN: I think Senator Kennedy's waited his whole life, fought his whole life to see this moment, and I think -- not just the president, I mean, I think Democrats and Republicans in the Senate, I think many people who know him like me, just think what a better tribute could there be to the greatest senator we've had in decades, you know, than to pass what he's always wanted, which is a universal health care plan.

Rush complained that he has "caught a lot of hell" every time he has suggested the bill should be named after Ted Kennedy. Compare Rush's comments to Rose's. We think this one speaks for itself.

After the break, and after a bizarre, extended rant against rooftop gardening, Rush had on a caller who reminded Rush of the time a few weeks ago when our favorite host claimed the Obama administration was trying to "define down" torture just as Rush claimed NOW was trying to "define down" domestic violence by including verbal abuse. Of course Rush remembered. Rush reminisced about the modern feminist movement in the 1960s, when fathers were labeled as predators simply by their existence. Rush said that this was a sign of what liberals were going to be like in the future.

Back from another commercial break, Rush read from an AP article titled, "Obama's barbed words worry corporate world." Rush was rather agitated after reading from this, so it was time for some played-out rants on liberalism. "It's not entirely proper to judge Obama as a liberal," said Rush, "Liberalism does not explain everything that he's doing. But what I discussed yesterday does: his quest for all-consuming power. He will get rid of anybody or anything that stands in his way of getting power, and he will embrace anybody or anything that helps him gain power. Now he's a liberal at heart, socialist, whatever -- statist, redistributionist."

Then Rush moved onto Democrats and their supposed enemies lists: "I mean, if you look at the last eight years alone, just the last eight years, look at the Democrat Party's enemies list -- big oil, big pharmaceutical, Wal-Mart, big food, big automobile -- virtually every major American industry is on the Democrat Party enemies list. Big radio -- you didn't even need Obama to come along to know where the Democratic Party is on this stuff."

-ist Watch:

LIMBAUGH: It's not entirely proper to judge Obama as a liberal. Liberalism does not explain everything that he's doing. But what I discussed yesterday does: his quest for all-consuming power. He will get rid of anybody or anything that stands in his way of getting power, and he will embrace anybody or anything that helps him gain power. Now he's a liberal at heart, socialist, whatever -- statist, redistributionist.

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: I mean, if you look at the last eight years alone, just the last eight years, look at the Democrat Party's enemies list -- big oil, big pharmaceutical, Wal-Mart, big food, big automobile -- virtually every major American industry is on the Democrat Party enemies list. Big radio -- you didn't even need Obama to come along to know where the Democratic Party is on this stuff.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by victory over GOP moderates -- El Rushbo's Mission Accomplished

Rush kicked off his final hour of the week arguing that if the CIA were lying, it only lied to Pelosi, which to Rush, didn't make any sense. Rush then claimed that other Democrats aren't supporting her. Rush's suspicions may have been justified had they been based in fact, but -- surprise! -- they weren't, as Greg Sargent explained:

Three senior Democrats -- Pelosi, Bob Graham, and Jay Rockefeller -- have all publicly claimed that the CIA didn't brief them about the use of torture in the manner the agency has claimed. Meanwhile, the CIA itself has conceded that its own accounting may not be accurate."

From there, Rush read from an AP article that reported stimulus checks are being sent to deceased individuals. Rush said that this is how Obama did things in Chicago, too. Dead people vote and make campaign contributions in Chicago, so they get stimulus checks, too.

Rush spent the remainder of the segment on a rant inspired by a recent Gallup poll that apparently shows there are more pro-life people in the country than pro-choice for the first time. Limbaugh first aired his grievances with the moderate wing of the Republican Party which he says has been bugging him for years to be pro-choice because it would be a winning issue for the GOP. Abortion, he said, was never a 50-50 issue, just like there were never 3 million homeless. It's worth noting that if you dive into the numbers of the new poll, you'll notice a 10-point increase in Republicans and Republican-leaning independents who call themselves pro-life. This could only be explained if there were more self-identified Republicans and Republican-leaning independents than there were a year ago, which is possible, though inconsistent with other polling trends that show a decrease in Republican and Democratic party affiliation.

When he was done declaring victory over GOP moderates, El Rushbo set his sights on Obama: "We've got the most anti-life president you can possibly imagine being elected. We got a guy who supports partial-birth abortion. We have a guy who supports killing of babies who successfully are born despite being intended to be aborted." While Rush didn't specifically use the word "infanticide" in this instance, but he seemed to be suggesting it, and he's made abundant use of the word on prior occasions.

During this rant, Rush also took a brief pit stop to comment on Carrie Prejean. Rush said the reaction to her answer at the Miss USA pageant was like the Gestapo being released against her, the "liberal Taliban." Rush said that if we get to the point where we have to "specify" "opposite sex marriage," then the debauchery and loss of values will be unbearable. 

He then picked up on another story about our supposed loss of values -- The Washington Post's report that unmarried women accounted for nearly 40 percent of all US births in 2007. Limbaugh says the Post treated the story as "progress" because women didn't have to hitch themselves to a man.

After the break, Rush read a New York Times article, headlined, "On abortion, Obama is drawn into a debate he hoped to avoid." Rush asked if we can say the debate on abortion is over because of the Gallup poll, just like Al Gore is saying the debate about global warming is over?  Rush boasted that he is willing to debate global warming, unlike Gore.

Rush then spoke to a dittohead who had some problems with some of the intricacies of the Massachusetts health-care system. The state's system, established during Mitt Romney's time as governor, requires everybody in the state to have health insurance- either private insurance or a public plan. The caller didn't actually have a problem with the goals of the plan in general, just some of the details in how it is being carried out and affecting her private individual insurance. Rush tells the caller she has lost her freedom.

After another commercial interruption, Rush read a report that CIA director Leon Panetta was standing by the CIA memos that Pelosi "received the truth," insisting that Pelosi is lying about something. Rush says Panetta is out there saying it's up to Congress to evaluate all the evidence -- you know, like the evidence Rush has been leaving out all afternoon. He also insisted that Pelosi has made torture a "Democrat" issue.

The next caller asked El Rushbo what he thought about the possibility that Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm could be Obama's nominee to the Supreme Court. Rush laid out the possibilities if this were the case: "One circumstance is she takes the gig and goes and gets on the Supreme Court and destroys that, but she's gone from Michigan and so longer can destroy Michigan. Or she doesn't take the gig, doesn't get the gig, can't destroy the Supreme Court but stays in Michigan and continues to wreak havoc on it. A true, true challenge here for Michiganders here as the name of their governor is floated as a potential shortlist member of the Obama Supreme Court list."

Another caller asked Limbaugh about Connie Schultz, who has written some harsh words towards Rush in recent months, and whom Rush called a "ditz" on a recent show. Rush noted how he didn't realize Schultz was married to Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown, but felt that he shouldn't have been surprised by that fact since there are many "incestuous" relationships in Washington, D.C. Of course, Rush has been wildly incorrect in his screeds against Sen. Brown in the past. In 2006 as Brown was set to become the Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate in the Buckeye State following the departure of primary opponent Paul Hackett, Limbaugh famously said, "and don't forget, Sherrod Brown is black. There's a racial component here, too," adding that "the newspaper that I'm reading all this from is The New York Times, and they, of course, don't mention that." In fact, Brown is Caucasian -- a point on which Limbaugh was corrected later in the program.

Rush closed out the week with an ad for the Heritage Foundation and a dittohead wanting to discuss the age of Limbaugh producer Snerdly. Which alas brings us to a conclusion of the Wire for the day and for the week. We really hope Simon is enjoying his Limbaugh-free vacation, because we'll be happy to return the reins to him when he gets back.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: We've got the most anti-life president you can possibly imagine being elected. We got a guy who supports partial-birth abortion. We have a guy who supports killing of babies who successfully are born despite being intended to be aborted.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I don't buy this business that Granholm's on the shortlist, but she may be. And let's say -- let's just play a game. For those of you in Michigan, let's just say that Jennifer Granholm is actually selected by Obama. You have a big deci -- well, it's not really up to you, but it's still a decision. What is the best of two horrible circumstances? One circumstance is she takes the gig and goes and gets on the Supreme Court and destroys that, but she's gone from Michigan and so longer can destroy Michigan. Or she doesn't take the gig, doesn't get the gig, can't destroy the Supreme Court but stays in Michigan and continues to wreak havoc on it. A true, true challenge here for Michiganders here as the name of their governor is floated as a potential shortlist member of the Obama Supreme Court list.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: We had the call from the woman in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, describing the nightmare scenarios that she had to go through to be legal regarding health care coverage -- mandated insurance, mandated prescription coverage and so forth. And I made the point that whatever the intentions that they had in Massachusetts with the plan, the point is you lose your freedom with all this government-mandated stuff. See, everything we do in America is connected to freedom, right down to being able to choose our doctors and the kind of medical care that we want to receive.

Echo chamber:

Rush read some talking points provided to him from The Heritage Foundation.