This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Professor Limbaugh's course on evolution
By Greg Lewis and Karl Frisch

Limbaugh got started today noting the top story on the Drudge Report: that scientists have reportedly found the "missing link" in human evolution. Ever the evolutionary biologist, Professor Limbaugh, always skeptical of science, took offense that this is being presented as "settled science" and claimed that he didn't think anybody has ever "proven" cross-species evolution.

Anyway, the missing link story was -- you guessed it -- another means for Rush to concoct a ridiculous smear of Obama. Rush said that if you're looking for the "missing link" between our missing prosperity and failing economy, it is Barack Obama. Rush, in fact, claimed that he had "discovered" this missing link, and wondered how long before it is discovered "outside this program."

Moving on to what we inevitably assumed would be his hot topic today, Limbaugh brought up Obama's proposed federal emissions standards for automobiles. Rush noted that while some are calling these new standards a win for California (because they would essentially make California's standards into the federal standards, thereby lessening the burden on the already over-burdened state), Rush said that it would be the first of many losses for the rest of the nation. But, as the AP pointed out, "It would save 1.8 billion barrels of oil through 2016 and would be the environmental equivalent of taking 177 million cars off the road, said senior administration officials speaking anonymously, ahead of the announcement."

Rush then read a story from Drudge, whose headline unsurprisingly botched the story, and which Rush lazily repeated. The Drudge headline read: "Eco-hypocracy: 'Greenest city in world' leaves lights on all day!" Of course, Rush loved the idea that Los Angeles, the city to which the headline referred, would be "the greenest city in the country." But the article in question merely noted that "Los Angeles is trying to become the greenest city in the world" [emphasis added]. We wish the city of Angels the best of luck with that and fault Drudge and Rush for butchering the headline.

After some more California bashing, courtesy of the Heritage Foundation, el Rushbo returned from his commercial break and continued his discussion of the Obama administration's proposed federal emissions standards. He noted from the AP report that the new fuel economy standards "are expected to cost consumers an extra $1,300 per vehicle by the time the plan is complete in 2016." But, Rush said, with little explanation, that you can expect the $1,300 figure to double to $2,600.

Then Rush mentioned a conversation he had with someone recently about "the general wrecking ball that has been taken to capitalism here by the Obama administration." He explained: "The guy actually said to me -- I thought he was joking at first, but he wasn't -- he said he's actually happy he's going to die before all of this crap finally settles in."

But it was quickly back to Professor Limbaugh's typical global warming denial: "There is no global warming. There's no manmade global warming. All we're doing is reducing our lifestyle. All we're doing is rolling back the advancements in life and living standards that capitalism has made in this country from the get-go. All we're doing is rolling back a standard of living that is the envy of the world and all of it under the guise of saving the planet or whatever. And that's not why it's being done. Why it's being done is not to save the planet -- that's just what they're saying. That's what Obama is saying right now."

He continued: "But the real reason -- when you look at people who are power hungry and who also happen to be liberals -- it's a combination of limiting your freedom and limiting the ability of you to have and drive the car you want to drive, and being able to raise taxes and the cost of living that you have to spend with most of the money going to Washington for these people to use to control ever more of the private sector in this country."

Back from another break, Rush played an audio clip from CNBC yesterday, in which Dennis Kneale described ethanol as the "Rush Limbaugh of energy products" because headlines about it were everywhere, but they don't do us any good. Rush was bemused that he's hated and despised so much by some people that they use Rush to make his own point (Rush was badmouthing ethanol himself as recently as yesterday's show).

He then speculated about Chrysler's decision-making process for choosing which dealerships to close last week, asking: "[D]o you think maybe Obama and his administration are targeting dealerships happen to be run and owned by Republicans? I don't know this. I'm being led to speculate." Rush added to his conspiracy theory: "Well, you joke about it being about penalizing success, but what the hell? That would be the theme of this administration. We're going to penalize success."

Rounding out the hour, Rush spoke with a dittohead who asked why we don't use nuclear power to become energy independent. The right-wing talker thought it was a good idea, but said that Obama wants us to drive "putt-putts" (Rush's term of endearment for small cars), which will result in less tax revenue for states and the federal governments, because less gas would be consumed. Rush said they would raise the gas tax in reaction to this, so you wouldn't actually be saving any money. He concluded with this gem: "They want the use of oil to continue. They just want the money for it. They don't want the sheikhs getting the money, and they don't want foreign oil companies getting the money. Obama wants it. Washington wants the money. And this is the first step: the universal or national fuel efficiency standard." So, Obama wanting to direct oil money away from sheikhs in the Middle East is a bad thing? Gotta love el Rushbo's logic.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: Now, admittedly, I -- mostly, I run around with people who are simpatico with me. I run around with people who think and live life the same way I do -- think about issues and all that. I actually had a guy who's a little older than I am over the weekend say to me -- we were talking about all of these economic changes and all of the destruction and all the things that are happening: the banks, the automobile industry, Obama with his fuel standards and so forth, and the general wrecking ball that has been taken to capitalism here by the Obama administration. The guy actually said to me -- I thought he was joking at first, but he wasn't -- he said he's actually happy he's going to die before all of this crap finally settles in.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Anybody want to bet we don't reduce our import of oil by 1.8 billion barrels? And even if we do -- so what? There is no global warming. There's no manmade global warming. All we're doing is reducing our lifestyle. All we're doing is rolling back the advancements in life and living standards that capitalism has made in this country from the get-go. All we're doing is rolling back a standard of living that is the envy of the world and all of it under the guise of saving the planet or whatever. And that's not why it's being done.

Why it's being done is not to save the planet -- that's just what they're saying. That's what Obama is saying right now. There always is this great cause, this great reason to do all this. But the real reason -- when you look at people who are power hungry and who also happen to be liberals -- it's a combination of limiting your freedom and limiting the ability of you to have and drive the car you want to drive, and being able to raise taxes and the cost of living that you have to spend with most of the money going to Washington for these people to use to control ever more of the private sector in this country.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: If we want to reduce our dependence on foreign oil then we go get our own. We've got tons of it. The environmentalist wackos won't let us do this because of the so-called damage that'll happen, but that's not the real reason even for not doing it. The real reason is they don't want us to be dependent.

This is, like I said yesterday, a doublespeak; newspeak. We're trying to reduce our dependence on foreign oil? It's just the opposite. We're trying to get the American people more dependent on government. We're going to transfer our dependency from so-called foreign oil to Washington, D.C. That's what this is all about

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Do you think that the Obama administration, working with Chrysler, working with the automobile manufacturers, working with the dealers, do you think they're just randomly taking a look at a list, saying, "We don't need this one in Long Island; chop it. We don't need that one in Portland; chop it. We don't need that one in San Antonio; chop it."

You think they're doing that or do you think maybe -- I just throw this out there as a possibility -- do you think maybe Obama and his administration are targeting dealerships happen to be run and owned by Republicans? I don't know this. I'm being led to speculate because Mr. [Jim] Anderer says he doesn't know why his high-performing dealership is shut down.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Well, you joke about it being about penalizing success, but what the hell? That would be the theme of this administration. We're going to penalize success.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Folks, this is the point. It is not that anybody at that press conference today, from Obama to Carol Browner and anybody else, they don't care about being dependent on foreign oil. There are ways that are much more efficient and make much more sense than 35 or 39 miles to the gallon in a putt-putt to reduce our use of foreign oil.

They want the use of oil to continue. They just want the money for it. They don't want the sheikhs getting the money, and they don't want foreign oil companies getting the money. Obama wants it. Washington wants the money. And this is the first step: the universal or national fuel efficiency standard.

Echo chamber:

Rush read several headlines from The Drudge Report and from a post on The Heritage Foundation's blog, The Foundry.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Schwarzenegger's effort to "destroy the essence of America"
By Greg Lewis and Karl Frisch

Rush started off the second hour of today's show clarifying his remarks from the previous hour. He wanted to make sure his audience knew that he isn't opposed to clean air or saving the planet. He wanted to make sure his words didn't get taken out of context.

After clearing that up, Rush kicked off one of his classic unhinged rants. This one was inspired by his desire to preserve the liberty that founded this country, which apparently is under attack these days by President Obama. Who knew? Rush described how Obama is marketing his programs -- in a Machiavellian and Orwellian manner. Rush added: "Obama believes that we're immoral the way we are, that we're unjust the way we are, and we've now got to pay for it. We've got to pay for our unjustness, and we have to pay for our gluttony, we have to pay for our slovenliness, and we have to pay for our greed. And how are we going to do that? By giving him and Washington more and more of the money we produce -- this, and to let them use in ways that will make America pure once again. When all it is, folks, is a power grab on the part of power hungry people who also happen to be liberals, who simply want to take control of as much as possible."

After playing some sound bites from Obama's remarks today about the new emissions standards, el Rushbo concluded his rant describing how Obama is "dismantl[ing]" the country:

LIMBAUGH: [I]t was the flowering and the prospering of that human potential, which led and created the greatest nation for people in the history of humanity. And now, it's being dismantled.

It's being dismantled by a man who has no appreciation for the greatness of the country; in fact, resents it. Blames this country for whatever evils and problems he sees around the world. And that's what 39 miles a gallon's all about. And that's what all these taxes and increased prices cost of living is. It's what it's all about. It's about chopping us down in size.

Limbaugh continued to devote the majority of this hour to derivatives of this rant. He went on repeating his claims and asking redundant questions. And he continued his attempts to pick apart Obama's new auto emissions standards.

Rush did take one detour, however, with some more intra-party fighting, again lamenting how moderates in the GOP are running the party and how they want more moderates like Gov. Schwarzenegger, who was out there supporting Obama's emissions proposals today. Limbaugh explained that we have the most radical, liberal, Democratic president in history today, proposing programs every day that will "destroy the essence of America," and the Republican governor of California agrees with Obama.

Rush brought an end to the second hour with a parody of Elvis' "In the Ghetto," called "In a Yugo." But it wasn't even a new parody, which makes the Limbaugh Wire sad. (For those of you who don't know, when you listen to his show online as we do here at the Wire, rather than hear real advertisements, you get to listen to the same old parody songs, jingles, and ads. Trust us, after a few months, the shtick gets a bit monotonous.)

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: Obama believes that we're immoral the way we are, that we're unjust the way we are, and we've now got to pay for it. We've got to pay for our unjustness, and we have to pay for our gluttony, we have to pay for our slovenliness, and we have to pay for our greed. And how are we going to do that?

By giving him and Washington more and more of the money we produce -- this, and to let them use in ways that will make America pure once again. When all it is, folks, is a power grab on the part of power hungry people who also happen to be liberals, who simply want to take control of as much as possible.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The DNA of the American human being is no different than the DNA of any human being anywhere in the world. We were not born with special God-given privileges that other people don't have. We were constituted and formed as a nation in ways that allowed the full spread and depth of human potential to flower and prosper. And it was the flowering and the prospering of that human potential, which led and created the greatest nation for people in the history of humanity. And now, it's being dismantled.

It's being dismantled by a man who has no appreciation for the greatness of the country; in fact, resents it. Blames this country for whatever evils and problems he sees around the world. And that's what 39 miles a gallon's all about. And that's what all these taxes and increased prices cost of living is. It's what it's all about. It's about chopping us down in size.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Rush's 30-day challenge
By Greg Lewis and Karl Frisch

The third hour kicked off with Rush reading a laundry list of news articles. First up was an AP article about Democrats in Congress not wanting to fund the closure of Guantánamo Bay in January. Rush asked why Democrats would turn on Obama on this issue and wondered if it may have to do with bad polling on the issue. (Dear dittoheads, ignore the fact that this issue has polled well.)

Next up, he read about a Rasmussen poll on health care, and then a Reuters story about blue collar workers in the U.S. facing higher unemployment rates. After reading excerpts from the article, Limbaugh asked: How's that hope and change working out for you? He went on to say that the "little guy" was supposed to be the beneficiary of stimulus spending, but the "little guy" leads the economy in unemployment.

Rush then read from another AP article reporting that housing construction and permits "plunge[d] to record lows in April," and from a Washington Post article reporting that yesterday's market rally was led by the housing and banking sectors. The right-wing talker argued that these articles "contradict" each other. But do they really? The AP article suggested the bad news might indicate a bottom in the market, and the daily movements of the stock market are generally thought to be indicators of the economy down the road. But we don't dare challenge the knowledge of economist Limbaugh.

An AP article on students' anxiety because of the recession again brought out Rush's obnoxious side. He noted that the "hope and change" slogan isn't working out too well for students, but then added that it's a good thing for the college students and recent graduates described in the article who have to work two or three jobs because it's the best education they're likely getting.

Before the break, Rush read one more article about the city of San Francisco issuing a 33-cent tax on cigarettes to fund the clean-up of cigarette butts around the city. Rush dubbed this new San Francisco tax the "butt tax."

Following another set of commercials, Limbaugh declared that he wanted to issue a challenge to MSNBC. First, he noted that GOP chairman Michael Steele made a speech today in which he mentioned nearly every Republican except for Limbaugh and Dick Cheney. But Rush's point was how MSNBC was apparently incapable of going without mentioning Rush for any "appreciable length of time." He then challenged MSNBC to try "Rush withdrawal" and go 30 days without doing a single story or making a single mention of him.

Another break, another caller. This one was a 20-year-old woman who likened liberals in Washington to angry teenagers who react on emotion. The dittohead then noted how she'd been reading stories lately that describe how "the hip-hop movement is getting the youth movement going," adding: "[B]ut I feel like I can't be a part of that movement because their whole movement is all for Obama." To which Rush responded: "Not only that, you want to stay alive. I mean, street cred for hip-hoppers is a murder charge." Classy. (Although, it should be noted that Rush was probably referring to this recent story.)

Rush moved on to contrast a quote from Obama's Notre Dame commencement address with one of Obama's recent actions, which he claimed contradict each other. Rush quoted from Obama's speech: "In short, we must find a way to live together as one human family. ... Moreover, no one person, or religion, or nation can meet these challenges alone. Our very survival has never required greater cooperation and greater understanding among all people from all places than at this moment in history."

El Rushbo argued that this message conflicts with Obama's reported refusal to meet with the unpopular and ineffectual governor of Nevada, Jim Gibbons. He then spoke about Obama's remarks in February, in which he criticized executives at companies receiving bailout money for taking trips to Las Vegas, and Gibbons having blamed these remarks for hurting tourism in Vegas. However, Rush did not mention this side of the story:

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs has said Obama wasn't discouraging travel to Las Vegas and instead was referring specifically to companies getting public funds. Gibbs' comments were welcomed at the time by Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman and various tourism boosters.

Rush added in his commentary that Obama doesn't cooperate, "he kneecaps people to get them to cooperate."

Finally, Limbaugh ended his show with a caller who was really upset that taxes on tobacco products are being raised, which meant that he can no longer smoke the cigars he likes so much; he now has to start smoking lesser ones. Rush empathized with the caller after he went to commercial by lighting up a cigarette for himself in his studio, which we watched on the Dittocam. So much for his oft-touted "formerly nicotine-stained fingers."

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous remarks:

CALLER: I'm so focused on getting the youth movement going, and I read today on, you know, Yahoo -- they always have those stories that the hip-hop movement is getting the youth movement going. And I -- but I feel like I can't be a part of that movement because their whole movement is all for Obama. And they cling to --

LIMBAUGH: Not only that, you want to stay alive. I mean, street cred for hip-hoppers is a murder charge.