This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the zombie "birther" conspiracy
By Simon Maloy

Let's take a quick moment to recall a very special moment from yesterday's show when Rush -- in the midst of calling President Obama "childish" and "immature" -- declared that Obama did not inherit a financial mess and that former President Bush, in his eight immaculate years in office as America's most perfect president ever, "didn't do diddly squat to damage this country's economy." At the time, we thought, "Man, wouldn't it be nice if there were a clearly defined chart that could demonstrate the degrees to which Bush and Obama are responsible for the economic situation we find ourselves in?" Well, David Leonhardt of the New York Times quite helpfully did all that work for us, analyzing Congressional Budget Office reports from the past decade and finding that the policies of George W. Bush were the major contributing factor to the record deficits we're now looking at. That, of course, stands to reason, since Bush had eight whole years to wreak havoc on the economy, whereas Obama's been in office for less than five months. But, as we've all come to learn, "reason" is a rare commodity on The Rush Limbaugh Show.

Rush got things rolling today with an update on Rev. Jeremiah Wright -- apparently the president's former pastor said some very silly things, including: "Them Jews aren't going to let him talk to me. I told my baby daughter that he'll talk to me in five years when he's a lame duck, or in eight years when he's out of office." The phrase "them Jews" provided Rush with a segue to his next topic -- the Drudge-flagged story that the White House, in releasing a photo of Obama with his feet on his desk speaking with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was sending a "subtle insult" to Netanyahu and Israel in general. This story -- along with the Rev. Wright resurgence -- reminded us of the silly days of the 2008 campaign, when the media freaked out when Obama scratched his face, thinking that he had flipped Hillary Clinton the bird. Rush, however, took it in a different direction: "I'm not going to sit here and say, 'Come on, you Jews are being too insensitive about this.' I think this guy has got a huge problem with Israel. I think he's got a huge problem with Judaism and Reverend Wright. I mean, this is the guy who Obama listened to for 20 years."

Then Rush set his sights on USA Today for reporting this morning that the GOP, according to poll results, has no clear spokesman, "which is among the reasons for the party's sagging state and uncertain direction." Rush said they keep recycling this garbage even as Obama is in full panic as his policies fall apart. Why do they even care, Rush asked, given that they want the GOP to be a permanent minority.

Rush then made an abrupt shift to another silly Drudge special -- Michelle Obama's outfit in London. "She's wearing some outfit that -- if Sarah Palin had this outfit on, they would be ripping her to shreds. It would be a headline in every newspaper. Michelle Obama looks ridiculous. And they're talking about how fashion conscious she is and how fashion trend-setting she is, and it is embarrassing." Mrs. Obama's sin to fashion, apparently, was wearing a shirt with an orange band. Oh, the horror.

After the break, Rush aired audio bites of John Ziegler's latest appearance on MSNBC this morning, saying that the "infobabe" Contessa Brewer was clearly "outmatched" by Ziegler. Once again, all we have to say is that John Ziegler is a very serious person with some very well-thought out ideas who deserves respect and admiration from the people. Rush didn't know why they invited Ziegler on. We don't either.

Anyway, then it was back to USA Today and its report on the GOP's lack of a spokesman. Rush said that John McCain, Colin Powell, and the moderates are the reason why the GOP is out of power, and a party out of power wouldn't have a spokesman yet -- it's absurd to even suggest that. Rush said there was no Democratic leader during the Bush years --- Obama was a largely unknown junior senator of no acclaim until he became president. They were wandering aimlessly in the woods for years, said Rush, but here we are six months into Obama's presidency (less than five months, actually), and the media thinks they have a big story. This is all about demoralizing conservatives and Republicans, said Rush.

After another break, Rush demanded to know why the media aren't running stories on people who have lost their car dealerships because Obama, with his "empirical will," shut them down. How will this affect unemployment, Rush asked. There's a wealth of angles out there for the state-run media to pursue, said Rush, but they're not going to. Speaking of dealerships, Rush wanted to air some audio from his March 30 show, in which he said Obama knows nothing about cars, and the car companies need to be run by car people, but they are being run by financial people because they're essentially retirement funds at this point. Then Rush aired audio of the new GE CEO, Edward Whiteacre, saying he doesn't know anything about cars, but he knows about big business.

Then, for some reason, we got into "birther" nonsense: "Hey, Mr. Snerdley, you know, a lot of people talk about Obama and his messianic complex. He does have one thing in common with God. Barack Obama has one thing in common with God. Do you know what it is? God does not have a birth certificate either." As we said when Rush fill-in Mark Steyn did the same thing in March, just when you think this birth certificate garbage -- which has been debunked more ways than anyone previously thought possible -- has died down, some prominent conservative always seems to recidivate in front of a powerful microphone.

Moving on, Rush said the next story sounds like parody, but it isn't: "Researchers Debate 'Obama Effect' on Black Students' Test Scores." Rush was incredulous that there was an "Obama effect" on scholastic achievement, saying that the idea that anyone would go out and do such a study is an indication of how far gone everyone is on this notion that Obama is a god, like Evan Thomas said.

After the break, Rush had another "God and Obama" zinger for us -- they're similar in that neither one has a birth certificate, but they differ in that God does not think he's Obama.

Then he took his first caller, a woman who wondered if any of the people whose car dealerships have been closed are regretting having voted for Obama. Rush said there's no poll on this and the media won't poll this question anyway. What Rush does know, however, is that there is a "palpable fear" across the country of speaking out against Obama. And what polls do show, said Rush, is that while Obama's approval ratings are high, people do not agree with his policies. So, Rush said, there's going to be a meeting on the graph of these sentiments. His approval ratings have to give way at some point if people don't like what he's doing. Rush then said the Obama administration is falling apart, they're panicking and responding to the criticism that they're getting, which is primarily coming from this program. Just look at this pay-go announcement yesterday, said Rush. He's announcing pay-go after he's wrecked the economy and ruined the futures of children not yet born, but it's just a ruse to raise taxes.

After one more quick break, Rush had one more hilarious installment of the Obama vs. God series: There's one more difference between Obama and God -- liberals love Obama.

Greg Lewis and Lauryn Bruck contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: I'm not going to sit here and say, "Come on, you Jews are being too insensitive about this." I think this guy has got a huge problem with Israel. I think he's got a huge problem with Judaism and Reverend Wright. I mean, this is the guy who Obama listened to for 20 years: "Them Jews -- them Jews won't let Obama speak to him."

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Hey, Mr. Snerdley, you know, a lot of people talk about Obama and his messianic complex. He does have one thing in common with God. Barack Obama has one thing in common with God. Do you know what it is? God does not have a birth certificate either.

Ladies' man

LIMBAUGH: I have been inundated with emails today from women who are outraged at what Michelle Obama is wearing. Drudge refers to it as "Michelle and the orange snake." She's wearing some outfit that -- if Sarah Palin had this outfit on, they would be ripping her to shreds. It would be a headline in every newspaper.

Michelle Obama looks ridiculous. And they're talking about how fashion conscious she is and how fashion trend-setting she is, and it is embarrassing. That's what -- you know, I couldn't care less this stuff with -- but the women. What do you think of it, Dawn? You're looking at it.

All right, so here's -- maybe her daughters made it and she wants to make them happy. It looks like an apron. I mean, it's just -- I don't know. But women are just -- they're just sending me the funniest emails about the way she is attired. I just know that if Sarah Palin put that kind of stuff on, you would never hear the end of it.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama the "grown crybaby"
By Simon Maloy

Rush got the second hour rolling by revisiting Rev. Wright's comment about "them Jews" keeping him from talking to Obama, then moved on to the Chrysler/Fiat deal, saying that this is the biggest outsourcing of business ever and it's being done by the most radical left-wing president ever.

After running through the God vs. Obama comparisons again, Rush again attacked Obama over pay-go: "He wants Congress to pass a pay-go law after he's robbed the United States for 25 years. Every criminal who has ever served time could learn something from Barack Obama when it comes to stealing money. The hell with Willy Sutton for crying out loud -- Willy Obama." In asking for pay-go legislation, Rush said, Obama is admitting that he cannot be trusted to spend money wisely without a law to constrain him. Obama demanded that we hold him accountable, Rush said, but now that we are, he's "childishly" and "immaturely" running to Congress and asking for pay-go, like "a grown crybaby." He's saying that we've run out of money and it's all Congress' fault. Guess who's going to be next, Rush said -- us. The rationalization, Rush said, is that if we just pay more taxes, then that will be enough to make Obama's plans work. But that will be the "final nail" in the coffin for the U.S. economy, said Rush: "We are soon to be buried. Reverend Obama is about to do the eulogy. And when you hear him start sermonizing about tax increases, you will know that he's getting ready to hammer the last nail in the coffin of the U.S. economy."

Then Rush re-aired the sound bites of John Ziegler's interview on MSNBC this morning. We grew concerned that perhaps a wormhole had opened up and we'd returned to the first hour of the program -- Rev. Wright, God vs. Obama, Ziegler on MSNBC. But a quick check of our surroundings confirmed that a) our lunch was still eaten, and b) Rush clearly just needed to kill some time. Anyway, after airing the audio for the second time, Rush pronounced MSNBC's Contessa Brewer a "glittering jewel of colossal ignorance."

After the break, Rush wasn't quite done with Contessa Brewer, "satirizing" David Letterman's "jokes" about Sarah Palin looking "slutty" and her daughter getting "knocked up" by Alex Rodriguez: "Hey, folks, did you hear this? The other night, during the first feed of the Chris Matthews show, he, during a commercial break, knocked up Contessa Brewer? You hear about that? The slutty Contessa Brewer, Chris Matthews knocked her up. That's [unintelligible] during a commercial break, during Hardball. He could have done it during the program and nobody would have seen it, but they still thought to be safe about it during the commercial break."

Anyway, Rush took another caller, this one wondering if Rush feels "pathetic" in the way that Sarah Palin said David Letterman was "pathetic," since, every day, Rush says things that are similar to what Letterman said about Palin. Rush asked for an example. The caller couldn't give one, and the call devolved steadily until Rush ended it with yet another installment to the God vs. Obama series -- God differs from Obama in that Obama gets better media coverage.

Rush's next caller was a little more friendly to the cause, saying that it's well and good to talk about the taxing of health care benefits, but they need to put some actual numbers to it. Rush said that would be a good project for him to undertake, but the fact of the matter is that taxes are going to have to go up because Obama has nothing else he can do. By the way, said Rush, the price of gasoline is going up. The experts are saying that oil might hit $80-85, and we've had a 100-percent increase in the price over the past three months and Obama's not concerned. Rush explained -- the higher the price of oil, the higher the price of gasoline, the sooner Obama thinks he can get you into junker cars.

Before the break, Rush took a quick call from a Virginian saying that the alarm had to be sounded on the upcoming gubernatorial election because Creigh Deeds is just another Obama and he's going to raise taxes. Rush didn't really respond, saying instead that he had a sound bite of James Carville saying that the Virginia race will be between Deeds and Rush Limbaugh, and that he'd play it after the break. And, sure enough, he played it upon coming back from commercial, along with a sound bite of CNBC media and technology editor Dennis Kneale attacking Rush for comparing Obama to Mikhail Gorbachev and saying that it's time for Rush to shut up. Rush said he didn't compare Obama to Gorbachev; Gorbachev compared himself to Obama in his Washington Post op-ed, and Rush was just pointing it out. Actually, Rush did compare Obama to Gorbachev, and here are two words that do not appear in the former Soviet president's op-ed -- Barack Obama.

Then it was time for another caller, who wondered if Rush blows kisses at himself in the mirror in the morning. The caller added that he thinks Rush is ridiculous and hateful in the way he goes about things. You can imagine how the call proceeded after that point.

Coming back from the break, Rush said the two calls he'd received today from liberals mean that there are some "frazzled nerves" on the left about Obama; they can't even stand any comedy about the man. Meanwhile, Rush said, Obama himself is responding to the criticism, and he's in panic mode. Rush then moved on to the next caller, this one explaining that he believes -- based on "hope" -- that Republican Bob McDonnell will beat Creigh Deeds by double digits in Virginia because the election will be a referendum on Obama. The "problem" with Virginia, said Rush, is the northern part of the state, where they all work for the government.

Then Rush chastised The Washington Times for -- wait, what? Yeah, The Washington Times, for its editorial this morning, which said: "Rush Limbaugh is being too easy on Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Pro-life groups should not follow the famed radio host in assuming the Supreme Court nominee will have empathy for their legal or moral positions." Rush wondered if Times reporters read the transcripts instead of listening to the show, because they "obviously don't get it."

Rush rounded out the hour with a caller who was furious over the Supreme Court decision allowing the Chrysler deal to go forward, and wondered why anyone would ever invest in Chrysler now. Rush said he feels like he's on Lost and they keep messing with the time machine. Anyway, Rush said he got an email this morning from a guy who was certain that the Supreme Court would stop the Chrysler deal, and he could almost feel the man's tears coming out of his computer monitor.

Greg Lewis and Lauryn Bruck contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: He wants Congress to pass a pay-go law after he's robbed the United States for 25 years. Every criminal who has ever served time could learn something from Barack Obama when it comes to stealing money. The hell with Willy Sutton for crying out loud -- Willy Obama.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: We have a deficit that's not going to be paid off for at least two generations, and that's, of course, now all Congress' fault because they didn't pass pay-go. What a -- this is -- worthless, on a -- just a crybaby. He's just a grown crybaby. Run out of money, now it's Congress' fault.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: If we just pay more taxes, that's the final -- that's it. That's what will make the plan work. Paying more taxes is more like the final nail in the coffin of the United States economy. We are soon to be buried. Reverend Obama is about to do the eulogy. And when you hear him start sermonizing about tax increases, you will know that he's getting ready to hammer the last nail in the coffin of the U.S. economy. He's going to come after us because he's not accountable. You see, we are the real problem.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Hey, folks, did you hear this? The other night, during the first feed of the Chris Matthews show, he, during a commercial break, knocked up Contessa Brewer? You hear about that? The slutty Contessa Brewer, Chris Matthews knocked her up. That's [unintelligible] during a commercial break, during Hardball. He could have done it during the program and nobody would have seen it, but they still thought to be safe about it during the commercial break.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the GM boycott Rush would never -- never -- support
By Simon Maloy

Rush got the final hour going by clearing something up -- Detroit News reported that he and Hugh Hewitt said "there's only one choice for conservatives angry about government involvement in the auto industry: Boycott GM." Rush said that he doesn't do boycotts, he doesn't encourage them, and he certainly never called for a boycott of GM because they sponsor his show (a fact we love pointing out, because it illustrates Rush's capacity for hypocrisy). Anyway, after vigorously denying that he had supported or encouraged the boycott, Rush helpfully told his listeners that he would be posting a link on his website to an American Thinker piece: "The Ethical Case for Boycotting Chrysler and GM." But he would never promote a boycott of GM. No way. Never.

Then Rush aired an audio bite of Tim Geithner saying that the administration does not support caps on executive compensation. Rush said this is outrageous -- Obama can get away with saying he isn't going to do something and then doing it, but Geithner can't. Rush said they're going to let Congress put caps on executive bonuses, and the reason they're doing it is because they're panicking. They don't have universal support and they're panicking.

Then it was on to Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), as Rush aired a sound bite of Frank explaining that they're not setting caps on pay, but giving shareholders more of a say like they do in Britain. Rush's riposte to Frank's remarks was yet another rendition of his "Banking Queen" parody. Leading into the break, Rush teased an upcoming segment on a Republican congressman saying that terrorism suspects are being read their Miranda rights. Rush said that if we're conferring "citizenship" on terrorists by Mirandizing them, what's to stop us from doing the same for "illegal aliens."

After the break, Rush read from Stephen Hayes' Weekly Standard blog post on Congressman Mike Rogers (R-MI) saying: "You have foreign fighters who are targeting US troops today -- foreign fighters who go to another country to kill Americans. We capture them ... and they're reading them their rights -- Mirandizing these foreign fighters."

Then Rush moved back to Barney Frank, airing an audio bite of Frank denying that the he was late to the party on the housing crisis, saying: "In 2005, several congressmen, from North Carolina and myself, proposed a bill to restrict subprime lending. And we were rejected by the Republican majority. In 2007, when I became the chairman and we became the majority, we regulated Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and we passed a bill through the House to regulate subprime mortgages." Rush said that this is "the opposite of what really happened." Actually, no -- Frank was exactly right.

Anyway, Rush took a call from a man who said that one of the things the media have missed with Chrysler and GM deals and the UAW is that the union won't need money for their health programs if national health care passes, so that money will just become a windfall for them. Rush said this was an excellent point, and then moved on to his next caller, who saw Howard Dean on TV this morning talking about the public option for nationalized health care. Rush said the public option is a trick and it's not going to happen. The caller then wondered if national health care will destroy the private insurers. Rush said it depends -- if the company supported Obama in 2008, then they'll get a seat at the table. If they didn't support him, then they're out of luck.

After the break, Rush had yet more God vs. Obama for us -- the differences being that God only demands 10 percent of your income, God allows us to live in freedom, and God's plan to save us is actually written down somewhere. Then Rush took a call from a gentleman who was unsure of his Republican bona fides, and was wondering if, perhaps, Rush had a "litmus test" he could administer to settle the question -- a sort of laying-on-of-hands over the radio. Rush said he doesn't do litmus tests (except when possibly supporting a Supreme Court nominee he considers racist on the off chance she might be pro-life), so the caller would have to enumerate his beliefs for him. Long story short -- the caller had his Republican street cred affirmed amid some rote bashing of Colin Powell and other moderates.

After another break, Rush came back armed with a Politico article that he said he'd been saving. The article reported: "Don't be fooled by the presidential burger runs. Obama and Congress are moving across several fronts to give government a central role in making America healthier -- raising expectations among public health experts of a new era of activism unlike any before." Rush was aghast that the Politico was "breathlessly excited" over public health activism and was irked that it compared Obama's love of physical fitness to George W. Bush's: "Bush did not try to nag and force people to his personal decisions because Bush was not a damn authoritarian liberal." Rush theorized that in the near future, during Obama's State of the Union addresses, Republicans who sit on their hands during applause lines will be forced to drop and give Obama 20.

Rush closed out today's show with a call from a woman who said the UAW once had a cause, but that the group has been overcome by greed and has ruined GM. Rush, as you might suspect, agreed.

And that's it for today. Another Limbaugh Wire completed, another Rush Limbaugh Show chronicled, and another billion or so brain cells forever lost. Hope to see you again tomorrow. Until then, you can track the decline of our mental health by reading through Media Matters' extensive Limbaugh archives.

Greg Lewis and Lauryn Bruck contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: "Former President George W. Bush was equally devoted to fitness but he never gave it a prominent role in policy-making as public health experts expect from Obama." That's precisely because Bush did not try to nag and force people to his personal decisions because Bush was not a damn authoritarian liberal.

America's Truth Rejector

Falsely claimed Barney Frank lied about his support for reforms of Fannie and Freddie:

LIMBAUGH: Now this next sound bite, this is Barney Frank -- CNBC this afternoon -- and the guy questioning Barney Frank here is Roben Farzad. He is from Business Week magazine. And this -- this is pretty good.

[begin video clip]

FARZAD: Do you look back at your career and ask yourself: "Why are we always so late to the game as regulators, whether it's the S-and-L crisis -- you clearly could've seen all this stuff in '05 and '06.

FRANK: Oh, I did see it in '05 and '06.

FARZAD: Why didn't you say anything else?

FRANK: I did -- because the Republicans were in control of the country.

FARZAD: No, you can't blame the Republicans. I mean --

FRANK: I'm sorry, sir.

FARZAD: -- if there's fire in a crowded movie theater --

FRANK: No, but I'll tell you what -- I'm telling you what you can't do. You cannot ask me a question and interrupt me three words into the answer. The answer is: I can blame the Republicans. In 2005, several congressmen, from North Carolina and myself, proposed a bill to restrict subprime lending. And we were rejected by the Republican majority.

In 2007, when I became the chairman and we became the majority, we regulated Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and we passed a bill through the House to regulate subprime mortgages. Yes, I will show you things that I said about subprime mortgages and a bill we tried to pass in 2005, and the Republicans were in control and wouldn't allow it to happen.

[end video clip]

LIMBAUGH: I think this is sort of just the opposite of what really happened. It was the Democrats who were making the regulators pound sand during committee hearings. The Bush administration tried numerous times to reign in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and it was Barney Frank and Chris Dodd who stood in the way and didn't want it to happen.