This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Hugo Chavez, who's "got nothing on Barack Obama"
By Simon Maloy

As we've said before, here at the Limbaugh Wire we're huge fans of inductive reasoning -- specifically, expanding arguments well beyond (and often in direct contradiction to) the evidence presented to us in order to reach conclusions that defy conventional logic but nonetheless sate our overarching desire for ideological superiority. So you can understand how much we enjoyed yesterday's show, particularly when Rush attempted to explain how Holocaust museum shooter James Von Brunn is, in reality, a left-wing extremist who was egged on by the "climate" of "hate" produced by President Obama and the Democrats. Rush's reasoning went thusly: Von Brunn hates Bush, the neocons, and Jews; liberals also hate Bush, the neocons, and Jews; therefore, Von Brunn is a liberal. Defining people by who they hate -- that's pretty airtight. As such, we figured we'd expand upon that same line of thinking and turn it around on El Rushbo. Consider this: Rush doesn't much like John McCain; Paul Krugman also doesn't much like John McCain; therefore, Rush Limbaugh is a Nobel Prize-winning Princeton economist. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Anyway, Rush got "Open Line Friday!" going by saying he's received a lot of emails today from people excited that the government got a hold of the nicotine industry, but Rush cautioned everyone to be careful what you ask for. Rush said he knows most people don't like tobacco products and they're excited that the level of nicotine is going down in cigarettes, but that just means people are going to smoke more cigarettes, because nicotine may be the most addictive substance on Earth. Secondly, said Rush, what happens when the government takes control of an industry? They run it into the ground, and the problem with this, said Rush, is that the tobacco industry is a huge source of tax revenue. That means, said Rush, that those of you happy about this tobacco legislation are going to be anteing up to make the difference in lost tax revenue.

Then it was on to the election in Iran, as Rush attacked Reuters for describing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as "the conservative president" of Iran. Setting aside the fact that Ahmadinejad is conservative, Rush said Reuters was indicating that there's no difference between Ahmadinejad and Ronald Reagan. Anyway, Rush said the whole election is a farce because it's the mullahs who really run the country, but the media is nonetheless breathlessly reporting on the possible effect Obama's Cairo speech might be having on the election results. Rush said this is silly, stupid, and dangerously naïve. If the Iranian mullahs replace one puppet with another, it will have nothing to do with Obama. But get ready, said Rush -- if someone other than Ahmadinejad wins, Obama will be feted as president of the world.

Meanwhile, said Rush, the economy is tanking and Obama is destroying health care and the solvency of the American government, and none of this is remarked upon in the media. Rush said a friend of his made "a good point" -- if Obama's so concerned about pay-go, why not stop the stimulus spending? But that's Rush point -- Obama doesn't care what he's spending. He doesn't give a rat's rear-end what's happening to the country. He just wants more control.

There's another issue here, said Rush -- the proposed release of photos from Abu Ghraib and Guantánamo showing detainee abuse. Rush said the photos have taken a meandering path -- first Obama was going to release them; then he wasn't; then the leftist Dems in the House said the hell with that, we're going to release the pictures; and then Sens. Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman proposed an amendment that would prohibit the release of the photos; but then House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said "screw that amendment;" and now there's pressure on Obama to issue an executive order halting the release. The question we have to ask ourselves, said Rush, is why would anyone want these photos released? The only answer, he said, is to inflame Muslims in the Middle East. Then Rush got to the crux of the conspiracy theory:

LIMBAUGH: If you want to inflame the Middle East, if you want riots, if you want to cause hell to become unleashed in the Middle East, then, of course, what you have at your disposal is these detainee photos. So, what would it take to calm down a new level of unrest? What would it take? Well, you just have to ask yourself one question: Aside from our prisons and so-called interrogation techniques, what is it that upsets Muslims in the Middle East? Israel, right?

So, then, what becomes the procedure to calm down the possible chaos and riots: the release of these photos? Well, we gotta get more concessions from Israel. Damn it. Maybe give up Jerusalem or give up half of it, let them, the Palestinians, finally have it.

I have great reservations about this administration's plans for Israel.

Rush allowed that this scenario is "convoluted," but he does "know" that Obama loves chaos -- he thrives on it and craves it. And there's a crisis in the Middle East, and wouldn't you know it? Those darn detainee photos are in play just as Israel has a gun to its head.

After the break, Rush aired an audio bite of Obama speaking from the Rose Garden this morning, in which the president said he was excited to see robust debate in Iran, and after his speech in Cairo, the administration conveyed a message that change in Iran was possible. Rush said the ego of this man is incomprehensible to behold. Didn't Obama say we shouldn't impose our values on others? And now he's taking credit for a robust debate in Iran? This is the practiced art of deceit, said Rush -- Obama knows that the president of Iran is not relevant, and yet, here he is taking credit for the election results in Lebanon and the robust debate in Iran. Rush concluded that Obama has an ego and a narcissistic complex that "can only be described as dangerous."

After another break, Rush replayed that same sound bite of Obama in the Rose Garden, explaining that he just "can't stomach this." It's "unseemly" and "unbecoming of an adult," said Rush. Obama made no mention of freedom or democracy in the Middle East in his Cairo speech, and in his world view, our Iraq policy set our Middle East policy back decades, and only now, after his Cairo speech, do we have the potential for democracy in the region. Rush said he has trouble dealing with this personality type -- it's just offensive as it can be, and to watch the media fall in line with it makes him even sicker.

Then Rush moved on to the firing of AmeriCorps inspector general Gerald Walpin, saying that inspector generals are not political offices, and firing one is a big deal. Rush said that Byron York of The Washington Examiner summed things up nicely: "The AmeriCorps IG accuses prominent Obama supporter of misusing AmeriCorps grant money.  Prominent Obama supporter has to pay back more than $400,000 of that grant money.  Obama fires AmeriCorps IG." Rush omitted from his discussion of the story a key point, as reported by the AP: "Walpin was criticized by the acting U.S. attorney in Sacramento for the way he handled an investigation of Johnson and St. HOPE Academy, a nonprofit group that received hundreds of thousands of dollars in federal grants from the Corporation for National and Community Service." White House counsel Greg Craig reportedly cited that criticism in explaining to Congress why Walpin was being replaced.

After the break, Rush returned to the AmeriCorps IG firing briefly, saying that this demonstrates "[t]ypical Chicago thug behavior: He fires private sector CEOs; he nationalizes industries. I'll tell you something: Hugo Chavez has nothing on this guy. Hugo Chavez got nothing on Barack Obama."

Then Rush took his first caller of "Open Line Friday!" who was asking if the health insurance companies can cut costs without the government getting involved, because auto insurers have managed to do that. Rush said this relates to an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal this morning by Safeway CEO Steven Burd, who wrote: "At Safeway we believe that well-designed health-care reform, utilizing market-based solutions, can ultimately reduce our nation's health-care bill by 40%. The key to achieving these savings is health-care plans that reward healthy behavior." Rush read most of the op-ed and said Burd's point is well made -- you can go out and get an auto insurance policy that's affordable and make sense, you have to because the state mandates it, and you can keep costs low by driving responsibly. The principle applies to health insurance.

Lauryn Bruck and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: If you want to inflame the Middle East, if you want riots, if you want to cause hell to become unleashed in the Middle East, then, of course, what you have at your disposal is these detainee photos. So, what would it take to calm down a new level of unrest? What would it take? Well, you just have to ask yourself one question: Aside from our prisons and so-called interrogation techniques, what is it that upsets Muslims in the Middle East? Israel, right?

So, then, what becomes the procedure to calm down the possible chaos and riots: the release of these photos? Well, we gotta get more concessions from Israel. Damn it. Maybe give up Jerusalem or give up half of it, let them, the Palestinians, finally have it.

I have great reservations about this administration's plans for Israel.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Typical Chicago thug behavior: He fires private sector CEOs; he nationalizes industries. I'll tell you something: Hugo Chavez has nothing on this guy. Hugo Chavez got nothing on Barack Obama.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by ACORN in Iran
By Simon Maloy

Rush got Hour 2 rolling by saying that Obama "broke the law" by firing the AmeriCorps inspector general, reading from a letter Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) sent to the White House encouraging the administration "to follow the letter and spirit of the law, which the President co-sponsored as legislation as a U.S. senator in 2007, regarding the dismissal of the Inspector General for the AmeriCorps program." That's just the "icing" on all this, said Rush.

Then he moved on to a message he received from a doctor in Texas last night, who wrote that the Medicare fee schedule is haphazard, is not based on anything, and is creating an internecine war between doctors and surgeons, which plays into the hands of the socialized medicine proponents. Rush said it's worse than he thought, and they're just going to ram more and more people into Medicare, which is just going to get worse once it's nationalized.

Rush then returned to the op-ed from the Safeway CEO, saying that Burd has "blown a hole" in the "template" the left and Obama have been working on for 30 years -- that CEOs are mean, evil people who screw their employees. Rush then explained what will happen to Burd as a consequence: "[T]here's going to be an investigation into how much money he makes. There'll probably be an investigation into his political contributions. If his credibility can be undermined, it will be. Forget the results of his brilliant approach to keep health care costs down; this guy has just made Obama look bad. He's just made the Democrats look bad. All the stories about harmful food products will be Safeway-centric. Safeway customers will be the only ones interviewed in stories about unhealthy foods, and those people will be asked if they hold Safeway responsible for selling unhealthy foods." If his piece gets any traction at all, said Rush, then the operating procedure of the left will be to destroy Burd and Safeway through the media.

After the break, Rush had one more story for us on health care -- a Hill article reporting that "Senate Democrats are bracing for what they expect will be a huge price tag connected with revamping the nation's healthcare system." The article noted that a coming Congressional Budget Office "estimate on Democratic healthcare reform proposals is expected to be so expensive that lawmakers are talking about changing the chamber's normal accounting procedures." Rush said that's more like the Democrats we know -- don't like the result? Change the procedure. Rush said the idea that the CBO is nonpartisan is "crap" -- Democrats run the House, and the CBO runs their numbers. Rush was then amused that the article quoted Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) citing Burd's Wall Street Journal op-ed, saying that she's a "dumkopf" because she's undermining her own side's plan. Safeway is not telling its employees how they have to live every second of their lives, said Rush, they're offering the choice. The government, on the other hand, isn't going to offer that choice. They're going to use the control of authoritarianism and statism to force everyone to live healthily, and it's still not going to control costs.

Then it was time for a caller, a self-identified Muslim who said he was offended by Obama's Cairo speech. He said that the president should have apologized for Carter and Clinton ignoring terrorism until people were killed, instead of apologizing for what America has done to defend itself. Rush said Obama is the first president to make it an objective to run around the world and blame the U.S. for its ills. Rush added: "And now, this Mirandizing of terrorist suspects on the battlefield in Afghanistan -- and that's going to proceed. I mean, where does this stop? They're going to get a public lawyer if they can't afford one? What if -- where are we gonna get -- you're on the battlefield; you got a soldier; you capture a guy. How do you read him Miranda rights if you don't speak his language?" We said it yesterday and we'll say it again: No one is saying that soldiers are administering Miranda rights "on the battlefield." It's the FBI, and they're doing it pursuant to a policy initiated during the Bush administration.

Rush's next caller wanted to know why conservatives won't be able to roll back national health care once they're back in power. Rush said he talked to Liz Cheney yesterday, and back in the '90s, she was part of a team that went to the old Soviet Union trying to instruct them on how to create a free market economy. Rush said he joked with her that she's going to have to do the same thing here once the Republicans come back to power. But as to the caller's question, Rush said the reason a rollback of health care will be impossible is that it will permeate virtually every aspect of our society. It's so massive and has so many tentacles that rolling all that back would be very hard.

After the break, Rush mocked the idea that "democracy" was flowering in Iran, noting that Reuters reported that voting hours had been extended several times to accommodate the high turnout. Rush quipped: "I mean, they don't even have ACORN. Can you imagine -- this is utter chaos at the polls. And they don't even -- well, we don't think they have ACORN. Maybe Obama sent them over there." Anyway, Rush wanted to listen to Obama's Rose Garden comment on the Iranian election one more time, explaining that he can't stand Obama's type of personality and recounting how he once heroically sacrificed his job by standing up to someone like that. After airing the bite again, Rush said that the Iranians would love for Obama and the rest of the world to think that they are moderating, that "this little man-child" can change the country with a speech.

Rush then moved on to his next caller, who wanted to draw parallels between Obama and FDR -- during World War II, eight saboteurs landed on Long Island and were caught, and FDR wanted to try them in civilian courts but his attorney general convinced him to use military tribunals, where they were swiftly convicted and executed. The caller said that if you put the Gitmo guys in civilians courts, their lawyers are going to want to see evidence, and that's going to endanger American lives. Rush said this is an excellent point, adding that if you're going to Mirandize someone, you have to be able to speak their language, which means we're going to have translators with every American soldier. This might have been a decent point expect for the fact, noted above, that soldiers aren't Mirandizing anyone.

Rush's next caller wanted to comment on CBS' hypocrisy in its treatment of Don Imus and David Letterman, regarding Letterman's comments about Sarah Palin. Rush said there's a big difference between Imus and Letterman -- Imus bent over backwards to apologize. Another difference, said Rush, is that Letterman's comments were planned and written in advance. Rush also wanted to know what ever happened to the notion that family was off-limits. We didn't realize he was so wedded to that notion, given that he once called 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton the "White House dog." Anyway, Rush aired audio of Palin's appearance on the Today show this morning in which she alleged a double standard in the media treatment of hers and Obama's families. Rush said she's right; there is a double standard, but it's more than that. There's a viciousness toward Palin, just like there is toward Miss CA, because they're attractive and they stand up for what they believe, and the left has to slap that down.

After one more break, Rush took one more caller, this one claiming that the American Cancer Society is being "hypocritical" in telling people that health care reform is needed now, because we hear all these stories out of England about people not having access to cancer treatment under "socialized medicine." Rush said this was a good point, and then moved on to an audio bite of Obama saying on the campaign trail that people's children are off-limits, that they have no relevance in politics, and urging the media to back off these kinds of stories. Rush said Obama made this statement, but his acolytes don't follow him. Then as everyone continued to beat up on Palin and her kids, Obama stood silent, even though he could have stopped it. We were wondering how, exactly, Obama or any politician could stop the media from reporting anything, but then we remembered Obama's magical ability to telepathically control what the liberal media reports.

Greg Lewis and Lauryn Bruck contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Now what's going to happen -- see, this guy, Steven Burd, in his op-ed today, has just blown a hole through the template that the left and people like Obama have been working on for the last 30 years, and that is that corporate CEOs are mean, evil, rotten people. They exploit and use their employees. They don't care about the welfare of their employees; they only care about their own payments. They rape their companies. They fly around on corporate jets. They go to parties. They don't care whether the company makes money or not, they get paid anyway. And we're gonna stop this [unintelligible].

Now what's going to happen to this Steven Burd guy, if he's not careful, there's going to be an investigation into how much money he makes. There'll probably be an investigation into his political contributions. If his credibility can be undermined, it will be. Forget the results of his brilliant approach to keep health care costs down; this guy has just made Obama look bad. He's just made the Democrats look bad.

All the stories about harmful food products will be Safeway-centric. Safeway customers will be the only ones interviewed in stories about unhealthy foods, and those people will be asked if they hold Safeway responsible for selling unhealthy foods: "Did Safeway market these products in a seductive manner? Did you feel they took advantage of you?"

Television will do these exact same stories outside of Safeway stores; we'll see the Safeway sign in the background. This guy -- if they take note of this piece, if this piece gets any traction at all, standard operating procedure on the American left is to go out and find a way to destroy this guy using their buds at state-controlled media.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I mean, they don't even have ACORN. Can you imagine -- this is utter chaos at the polls. And they don't even -- well, we don't think they have ACORN. Maybe Obama sent them over there.

America's Truth Rejector

LIMBAUGH: And now, this Mirandizing of terrorist suspects on the battlefield in Afghanistan -- and that's going to proceed. I mean, where does this stop? They're going to get a public lawyer if they can't afford one? What if -- where are we gonna get -- you're on the battlefield; you got a soldier; you capture a guy. How do you read him Miranda rights if you don't speak his language? And if you read him his Miranda rights in English, he comes back in court and says to you, "Well, I didn't understand."

Then he gets a U.S. lawyer, gets into the court system. It's -- this whole thing is just -- we've been down this road. See, this is another thing. Everything Obama's trying, somewhere it's been tried in the world, oftentimes, many times, and it's failed every time. Trying to deal with terrorism as a legal matter is an abject failure and all you need to do is look at the Clinton administration for evidence of it.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Rush's false modesty -- emphasis on "false"
By Simon Maloy

Rush got this last hour a-rolling by reading from a LifeNews.com article reporting that Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) said Judge Sonia Sotomayor told him that she "had never thought about" the rights of the unborn.

Rush then announced that it's unusual for a mainstream Republican to defend Rush in public these days, but that happened on Fox News last night as former acting Massachusetts Gov. Jane Swift praised Rush "for standing up for a common standard of decency" regarding David Letterman and Sarah Palin. Once again, Rush Limbaugh, the arbiter of "decency" toward the children of public figures, called the president's 13-year-old daughter a "dog" on national television. Anyway, Rush explained what he found so "indecent" about Letterman's jokes -- good comedy has to have an element of truth in it, and there was nothing truthful in what Letterman said.

Then Rush took a call from a woman saying she emailed CBS to say she'd never watch Letterman again because of their irrational Palin fixation. Rush said "irrational" is exactly the right word -- they're so afraid of Palin. They're scared to death of her because she was the sole source of excitement and passion during the Republican campaign.

After the break, Rush said they spent a good deal of time discussing health care today, but he had left out a couple of stories -- specifically, two Politico articles reporting on centrist Democrats raising objections to aspects of the proposed health care reform legislation. Rush appeared to suggest that these objections won't amount to much because "it's too big to fail." Then he read from a Hill article on the Democratic "mutiny" against cap-and-trade legislation. Rush said the "fringe-left Democrats" are trying to ram all this stuff through as quickly as possible, and the centrists are raising a stink, which means that Pelosi will have to "lower the boom" at some point.

Then it was time for another caller, this one explaining that he didn't like insurance companies, that's why he was so keen on the Safeway CEO's op-ed. Rush said the op-ed was good. The point is that the auto insurance industry has fees and premiums at all ranges based on behavior, and Safeway is doing the same thing with health insurance, but they're not forcing anyone. The government is going to force people, said Rush. National health care is not going to be cheap, said Rush. There will be lines, and certain services will not be offered, particularly as you age. The government plan, said Rush, is going to regulate every aspect of your lives under the guise of controlling costs.

After the break, Rush had to offer a quick "correction": "I have said that with a public option the government's gonna dictate and regulate virtually every aspect of your life. There will be exceptions: Favored sexual practices by the American left will not be regulated. In fact, they'll be encouraged."

Then Rush aired a sound bite from NPR today, which featured Karim Sadjadpour of the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace comparing Ahmadinejad's supporters in Iran to the evangelicals in Republican states in the United States. Rush said he was speechless when he heard this, but he wanted to tie it to Obama's comments from the Rose Garden this morning, which he re-aired for the fourth time. Rush again declaimed his infuriation at Obama's comments, saying that the president is just so "childish" and "immature." Rush said he was trying to "insinuate himself" into a good outcome in Iran, even though there can be no good outcome because the mullahs are still there. Then we had to listen to Karim Sadjapour again, after which Rush reminded us that Reuters described Ahmadinejad as the "conservative" candidate today. Rush asked us to remember that the "conservative" Ahmadinejad was "embraced" by decidedly non-conservative institutions like Columbia University and the United Nations. (There's that inductive reasoning again!)

Rush's next caller couldn't help but think that Obama is so caught up in building his library that he can't see that he's self-destructing and surrounded by people who are pure hate. Rush wanted to know what this caller sees coming down the road that could be construed as a "self-destruction" on Obama's part, because Obama can "self-destruct" all day long and still have a 60 percent approval rating. The caller offered a cookie-cutter anti-Obama rant as a response. Rush said that unlike Obama and his giant ego, he would never take credit for forcing Obama to hold his health care townhall yesterday; he's content to let other people do that. You'll recall that just two days ago, Rush took credit for Obama announcing new pay-go policies -- specifically, Rush said that the White House was "panicking" and responding to criticism it was receiving, which was "primarily" coming from his program. Anyway, Rush matched the caller's cookie-cuter Obama rant with some rote repetition on the evils of liberalism and the glories of conservatism.

After the break, Rush told us that he couldn't wrap things up without noting this story from the San Francisco Chronicle, which reported that the city approved "Mayor Gavin Newsom's proposal for the most comprehensive mandatory composting and recycling law in the country." Rush pronounced this plan "fruity" and "nutty," saying that the state is practically bankrupt, yet this is what they're concerned about.

Rush closed out the show and the week with a woman from Austria who said that Obama's socialized medicine plan won't work, just look at the socialized medicine programs in Austria and Britain. Rush said he loves this kind of caller because she got right to the facts.

And thus ended another wacky and wild "Open Line Friday!" We have to say that we're in no way upset that this week is finally over, and we plan to squeeze as much non-Limbaugh related fun as we can out of the all-too-brief weekend. We hope you'll do the same, but just in case you haven't had enough, Media Matters' Limbaugh archives are always available.

Lauryn Bruck and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: However, ladies and gentlemen, I need to correct myself on one thing. I have said that with a public option the government's gonna dictate and regulate virtually every aspect of your life. There will be exceptions: Favored sexual practices by the American left will not be regulated. In fact, they'll be encouraged. Whatever, you know, the -- make no bones about it. Us mistakes. Make no mistake about this. That will be the case.