This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Rush's difficulties with "naturism"
By Simon Maloy

OK, so it turns out that Gov. Mark Sanford wasn't on the Appalachian Trail at all, but apparently decided to go to Argentina to spend a few days driving along the moribund coastline of Buenos Aires... in the wintertime... without telling his staff or his wife. Anyway, these past few months of listening to Rush have given us a taste for wild conspiracy theories, so we just have to point something out here -- Gov. Sanford left last Thursday to go on his surprise junket to Appalachia or Argentina or wherever, and he's back at work today. Rush announced rather abruptly last Thursday that he would be off Friday, Monday, and Tuesday, and is also back to work today... And let's not forget that our own Greg Lewis also spent the weekend on the "Appalachian Trail," and came back with some "Sanford '12" swag and a hyper-conservative economic outlook. So, clearly, what's happened here is that Sanford, Rush, and Greg have teamed up to hatch a nefarious plot to use the power of Limbaugh's megaphone to get Sanford elected in 2012, while Greg works from the inside to sabotage the Limbaugh Wire -- America's first and only line of defense against the Dittohead onslaught. It makes perfect sense. We're on to you, Greg...

Rush got things rolling today by saying the Obama show never stops. Last week, Rush said, he thought it would be fun to do an entire show without mentioning Obama, but Obama has permeated so thoroughly every aspect of life that it might be impossible. Then Rush aired a sound bite from The Early Show in which CBS News' Harry Smith asked the president about golf. Obama said his time on the links is the only time he gets to be outdoors and feel like he's not in the bubble. This is incredible, said Rush, because even he gets grief when he leaves to play golf, which is what he was doing in Hawaii over the weekend. Rush gets notes, he said, from his own audience telling him to stick to the issues because golf is an elitist game. Now Obama gets out there and says golf keeps him in touch with common people, said Rush, and the press are dying to know what golf does for him. Obama abandoned his family on Father's Day to go play golf, exclaimed Rush, adding that if the president is as bad at golf as he says he is, then he's not having fun. Rush guaranteed Obama has a boomerang slice.

Then it was on to the press conference yesterday, which Rush said was a "smoke screen" that had something to do with cap-and-trade legislation and the huge tax increases it will bring. Rush also said that he knew Obama would call this press conference when he saw that Obama's approval ratings are "plummeting." Anyway, Rush said that Fox News' Major Garrett had the "question of the day," because the look on Obama's face as he answered it was "insolence."

Rush then noted that Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) says Obama needs to get tougher with the mullahs. He's upset that Iranian diplomats are still invited to Fourth of July parties. Rush said he has a way around this -- all they have to do is say they're serving Hebrew National and Iranians won't show up. Tough luck, Rush, but Mark Davis already beat you to that low-hanging fruit. Anyway, Rush said that Obama even got testy with Chuck Todd in saying that he won't enumerate consequences for Iran because we don't know how this thing is going to play out. They're shooting people on the streets, said Rush, but we don't know how it's going to play out.

After the break, Rush said he noticed a story when he was away golfing that he though would cause fireworks -- Goldman Sachs paying out huge bonuses because of a fabulous first six months of 2009. This reminded Rush of the Obama supporters that called in last week who were mad because they see Obama giving all the money to Wall Street and big business, but not to them. Rush wondered what industries are having a huge 2009 aside from the EIB Network and the U.S. government. Rush said he expected outrage -- he thought Obama was going to cap their pay and limit bonuses. And then we learn today from The New York Times, said Rush, that Citibank is going to give raises instead of bonuses. Rush wanted to know where the outrage is. Maybe these Obama callers had a point, he said.

The Goldman Sachs people are basically running the show, said Rush, because they got bailout money from AIG. It was the one financial institution that was not bailed out, and the one institution that fell was Lehman Brothers, which just happened to be Goldman Sachs' major competitor. Rush then aired audio of himself saying in March that the real outrage is that AIG sent bailout money to foreign banks and Goldman. Rush said he thought this would be a big deal, though he has mixed emotions on it. Rush said he's all for companies doing well, but we're looking at an industry that this administration targeted and blamed, and people ended up supporting Obama thinking he was for the little guy, and now, because of bailouts, these firms are doing well when no one else is. The state-run media did not make a big deal over this, said Rush, but there could be outrage among Obama voters over this. This is not how they thought this was going to play out, Rush said. They thought they were going to be in "fat city," not Goldman Sachs.

After another break, Rush took his first call of the afternoon, this one from a man wanting to know how long it took Rush to fly to Hawaii. Nine hours to get there, eight and a half to get back, Rush said. Then Rush switched gears, pointing to an entry on the New York Times' Green Inc. blog reporting: "Going without clothes on beaches and other vacation spots is commonly called naturism -- a description that implies helping the planet, as some practitioners claim to be doing." Rush said he has a problem looking at most people when they're clothed, but now we're being encourage to go nude. What about skin cancer? Rush said these people are nuts, and he guaranteed that the people we're talking about here are nothing to look at. He hasn't seen them, but he knows these people. He added: "I know the left. I know liberals. All right, would you want to see [Sen.] Barbara Mikulski [D-MD] nude on a beach? Would you want to see [House Speaker] Nancy Pelosi [D-CA] nude? OK, do I make my point? OK?"

Then Rush read from a Boston Herald story on reports that the Obamas might vacation on Martha's Vineyard this summer and could "spend two weeks at the end of August in the East Chop section of Oak Bluffs -- an enclave where the black upper crust has vacationed for generations." Rush was aghast at the term, "black upper crust," asking how many minorities there are in Martha's Vineyard. Rush assumed that when Obama goes to Martha's Vineyard, he'll condemn the racism there.

One more break and Rush came back with another caller, this one saying that Obama's acting classes must have paid off because the preplanned question with the Huffington Post reporter threw him for a loop. Rush said that the second that question came, he knew it was staged, and aired the audio. Rush said that anybody with half a brain knows the whole thing was a set-up. The story is that Obama didn't know what question he was going to get from the HuffPo guy, said Rush, but that he was going to get a question from an Iranian. The intended image, Rush said, is that of the Iranian people desperately wanting to know what Obama thinks. Rush then aired audio of Fox News' Mike Emanuel saying it was unusual behavior for the president to go from the AP to Huffington Post. Rush said that the "Associated Press gets the first question since Helen Thomas is, you know, off chewing cud somewhere."

Anyway, Rush then asked if we remembered the outcry over Jeff Gannon's appearances in the White House press room during the Bush years. It was a "national crisis," said Rush, and everyone blamed it on him. Rush said that the media went out and tried to destroy Gannon, calling him a fake reporter and an imposter, but now we have a blogger in the front row at a presidential press conference. But here's the thing -- Gannon was a fake reporter. He worked for a fake news agency, and he plagiarized RNC talking points in his news stories.

Greg Lewis and Lauryn Bruck contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: It's not called nudism anymore -- naturism. These people are nuts. They're actual Looney Tunes. Snerdley, I'm gonna knock it. I'm gonna knock it. These people -- I guarantee you - I guarantee -- I don't want to be stereotypical here, but I guarantee you, the people we're talking about here are nothing to look at. They're nothing to write home about. They're not -- you wouldn't put their pictures in a magazine. I guarantee you. Trust me on this.

No, I haven't seen them. Don't -- I just -- I know these people. I know the left. I know liberals. All right, would you want to see Barbara Mikulski nude on a beach? Would you want to see Nancy Pelosi nude? OK, do I make my point? OK.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The Associated Press gets the first question since Helen Thomas is, you know, off chewing cud somewhere. And the first question always goes to Jennifer Loven of AP, and then after that, went to -- and what I worry -- the Politico story is, is that the reporters in the front row looked over at Rahm Emanuel, who laughed at them, smiled again. According to them, gave them a wink.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama's Marxist tone
By Simon Maloy

Hour 2 is upon us, and Rush said he doesn't really understand all this commotion over Gov. Sanford. Rush said: "I've got mixed emotions about this. I -- the appearance here is obviously very strange. You don't tell your wife you're splitting the scene. You don't tell your family on Father's Day, by the way. And Obama, you know, Obama bailed on the family on Father's Day, too -- he went out there to play golf. But Sanford left the family on Father's Day weekend." Rush then explained that he thinks this is a symptom of Americans being too dependent on government -- the governor goes away for five days? So what! We'll point out here that Limbaugh's guest host on Monday was one of the many conservatives upset that Obama took time to go to an ice cream parlor in Virginia instead of "dealing with" Iran.

Anyway, Rush said that Warren Buffett was on CNBC saying that the economy is in bad shape, and that the nation should focus on creating jobs. Rush said that if you want to create jobs, then get Obama out of the private sector and get rid of this health care reform business. Then Rush aired for us a sound bite of Obama's weekly address from Saturday, in which the president said: "But there are also millions of Americans who signed contracts they did not always understand offered by lenders who did not always tell the truth." Rush said, without anything in the way of explanation, that this was the fault of the government, and then he complained that cap-and-trade will tax carbon dioxide; it will tax Coke and Pepsi. We're not sure what Obama's radio address has to do with health care or cap-and-trade, since the entire thing -- including the portion Limbaugh aired -- was devoted to financial reform and mortgages.

Anyway, Rush then noted that Obama said on Good Morning America that health care reform will not be about the quantity of the care, but the quality, and a panel of doctors is going to oversee everything. Rush said that these doctors will be paid by the government, so it's just going to be a bunch of bureaucrats who are going to make determinations based on how much it will cost to treat you. Rush noted that he took calls last week from people afraid that they'll be denied health care because of their party identification -- fears Rush gleefully stoked and then blamed Obama for creating. Rush said the bureaucrats are going to make their determinations based largely on age, adding that "they're going to decide how much you're worth to them. Help keep these Social Security numbers in check. How the hell do you think they're going to reform that? They're going to reform Social Security by having to pay out to fewer people. And how are they going to do that? By treating fewer older people." The government is going to mandate that you get health care, said Rush, and then they're going to decide whether you're worth treating. If you think national health care is going to open up an endless vista of health care, you've got another thing coming.

After the break, Rush said the White House is in trouble on health care, and one of the telling indications is that Rahm Emanuel has been sent out to call on members of the Senate. This is Chicago thugocracy coming out of the White House, said Rush. Actually, it's the White House lobbying Congress on legislation -- something every White House does. Rush then said that Obama, during the press conference yesterday, talked in his "smug voice" about the competition between the public and private sector regarding health care, and accused Obama of "ignorant arrogance," saying that Obama didn't address the idea that the government will create an uneven playing field for private insurers because the government isn't obligated to make a profit. Rush added that "the tenor of his answer on this was most revealing. He almost slipped up and said, 'Well, they shouldn't be making a profit in the first place.' He didn't say it but that was his tone. I think that Obama looks at profits as evil." It's amazing what Rush can glean from the tone of something Obama didn't say...

Anyway, the point, according to Rush, is that if you have to compete with someone who doesn't make a profit, you're going to lose. But people like Rush are the ones who've been saying that public health care will be awful, so why would people choose it over the private insurance options? That was the point of Obama's remarks (which Rush neglected to actually air), and that point was ably distilled by Steven Benen: "A public option, critics tell us, would provide a horrible, bureaucratic service for customers, including rationing and long waiting times. But here's the follow-up: if that's true, no one would choose the public option and insurance companies would be just fine for the indefinite future." Something tells us that Rush, as one of those critics of the public option, was doing his level best to simply attack Obama without having to square that circle.

Coming back from the break, Rush said that there's one condition that can be established that would level the playing field between private health insurers and the government -- subject the government to the same reporting requirements and civil and criminal penalties that the private insurers face. Rush added: "This health care thing is a debacle. It is not needed. It is unnecessary, and the vast majority of Americans do not want it. If we get it, it's ballgame. Every aspect of your life will then be regulated on the basis of cost to the government." We're not sure how Rush knows that the vast majority of Americans don't want health care reform, but actual, legitimate gauges of public opinion paint a very different picture.

Then Rush invited us to guess who has become the latest capitalist. It's Sen. John Kerry, said Rush. On MSNBC a while ago, said Rush, "Lurch" was asked by Andrea Mitchell about the Citibank pay raises, and Kerry said in the normal course of business, people have to be paid according to what the market will allow, but you also have to act in terms of appropriateness and decency. What a 180, exclaimed Rush. Just a few months ago, Kerry was bashing these Wall Street types, but now he's saying that they need to be paid according to market forces. This is going to filter down to Obama voters, said Rush, and the average Obama voter did not vote for this. They thought they were going to get all this money.

Democrats don't get it, said Rush, with a hint of wistful hope in his voice. We're looking at Jimmy Carter 2 here, he said, because the Democrats are arrogant and condescending. They make the mistake that America lives and breathes by what the Democrats do every day. They're trying too much too soon, said Rush, and at some point there's going to be a lot of give.

Then Rush took a call from a man who said that is a fine example of why liberalism needs to answer for itself, and wanted to know what Rush predicts will happen in California and at the national level. Rush said California is going to get a bailout, never mind that Obama and Schwarzenegger say that that's not going to happen. State budgets have to be cut, said Rush, and despite what Obama says, the first cuts are going to be firefighters and policemen. Meanwhile, said Rush, New Jersey spends $14,000 a student, and California probably spends more, and what do you get? Well, Rush, here's what you get for all that spending -- two of the best high school systems in the country.

One more break and Rush was back saying that the White House is going on a big health care push this week, which means it's time for the Obama road show victim parade. Rush said he has a simple question for Obama -- will the health care plan work as well as the stimulus plan? Because we all know the stimulus bombed. Rounding out the hour, Rush took a call from a man who said the firing of AmeriCorps inspector general Gerald Walpin reminds him of Nixon's Saturday Night Massacre, and wanted to know what it will take to get the MSM to stop being lapdogs, and what can Republicans do about it? Rush said the media won't stop -- do not ever think that the media are going to carry water for Obama opponents. It isn't going to happen. As for Republicans, said Rush, it's the private sector and the interest groups that are going to apply the pressure here.

Greg Lewis and Lauryn Bruck contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: You know, this Mark Sanford business, the governor of South Carolina -- vanishes out there. Nobody knows where he is. His wife doesn't know where he is. His staff doesn't know where he is. The word comes out that he's out there hiking the Appalachian Trail. Then word comes back -- no, he wasn't hiking the Appalachian Trail. He was going to go to the Appalachian Trail. He's walking the beaches of Ipanema; then he wasn't walking the beaches of Ipanema. Then he was on a cruise ship down there to Argentina somewhere. Just got back. Everybody's waiting for the press conference to figure out what's going on here.

And, you know, I've got mixed emotions about this. I -- the appearance here is obviously very strange. You don't tell your wife you're splitting the scene. You don't tell your family on Father's Day, by the way. And Obama, you know, Obama bailed on the family on Father's Day, too -- he went out there to play golf. But Sanford left the family on Father's Day weekend, goes out there -- wherever he went, nobody knew. Staff didn't know, and everybody is just in a tizzy about this.

Now, we have forgotten: Back in the day, Teddy Roosevelt did this all the time. Teddy Roosevelt, just to get away, said, "To hell with this!" and he'd go out there hunting or doing something. Now, this was back before big nationwide 24/7 media cycle, before television and all that, but it was also back in the day where people were not so damn dependent on some public figure every day.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The question he got on this was whether on the public option, the government will not be pressured to make a profit to stay in business. They won't be pressured to make a profit. The government doesn't have to make a profit in anything. The private sector, private insurance companies, private health care, they have to make a profit to stay in business.

And the tenor of his answer on this was most revealing. He almost slipped up and said, "Well, they shouldn't be making a profit in the first place. He didn't say it but that was his tone. I think that Obama looks at profits as evil. He obviously doesn't understand that business cannot function without profits.

You know, he's like -- he's like a lot of other dictators. He's got the private sector, and he thinks it's always going to be there to be raped. It's always going to be there to be pillaged and plundered. The private sector is always going to be something he can go grab, and control, and tax, and take money out of, and grow the government. He doesn't have any concept -- or maybe he does -- that he's going to kill it all by doing all this.

"Socialism" watch

LIMBAUGH: "Well, Rush, what do you mean they're going to decide how much it's worth to treat me?" Well, in large measure, it's going to have to do with your age. If you're approaching seasoned citizen status, your worth is a lot less than a young person. You're in need -- you have a duty to die and get out of the way. A Democrat former governor of Colorado said that -- Richard Lamm: "Old people, come on, get out of the way. You're spending all this money. You're costing us all this money. You're going to die anyway, so, just go ahead and fade away and die."

Now, the truth of the matter is, 80 percent of the nation's health care costs are spent -- or 80 percent of the individual's health care costs are spent in the last years of one's life, understandably and logically. So what they're -- the best way to understand this is this board, this bunch of bureaucrats, they're not going to decide what tests you need based on the quality of care; they're going to decide how much you're worth to them.

Help keep these Social Security numbers in check. How the hell do you think they're going to reform that? They're going to reform Social Security by having to pay out to fewer people. And how are they going to do that? By treating fewer older people. You think they're really going to reform this in some measurable way and make it solvent? They're going to try to reduce the number of people getting it. I'm dead serious, Snerdley. I wouldn't say this stuff if I didn't mean it. This is all such bilge. It is all drivel.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Private-sector health covers -- or health care givers, doctors, nurses, insurance companies have to make a profit to stay in business. Obama's business doesn't have to show a profit. They're not going to stay in business. The government is going to end up being it all, by design.

So, Obama looks at the private sector as just a neverending windfall. He looks at profits like surplus value, the same way Marx did. A profit is almost a crime. A profit is a crime against the people. A profit is rape. It's just -- it's surplus value that you can go get. And when you take some entity's profit, then you have been fair, and you have equalized society -- and that's how he looks at it.

I think Obama's a true believer on this stuff.

America's Truth Rejector

Claimed, against polling data, that American's overwhelmingly oppose health care reform:

LIMBAUGH: This health care thing is a debacle. It is not needed. It is unnecessary, and the vast majority of Americans do not want it. If we get it, it's ballgame. Every aspect of your life will then be regulated on the basis of cost to the government.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the latest outbreak of "anal poisoning"
By Greg Lewis

Rush began the third hour of the program with more shouting about Warren Buffett's CNBC interview. Rush exclaimed that Buffett "blasted" cap and trade, which is Obama's idea, so, in effect, Buffett is "blasting" Obama's program. He called Buffett a "giant Democrat wrecking ball today."

Then Rush moved on to another Drudge special (he had the sirens up for Buffett earlier) about a "gay exorcism" video. Rush emphasized to his audience that the person in the video was not Perez Hilton. Then Rush reprised his thoughts from the first hour about Obama and golf.

Moving on, Rush read from an article in The Washington Examiner that claims union workers would be "exempt" from a tax on health care benefits. Rush went on to repeat attacks on Obama's alleged kinship with Karl Marx:

LIMBAUGH: Remember, I said earlier that Obama's right out of Das Kapital. Obama looks at profit as just surplus revenue that he can grab. The private sector is just an endless pile of money. He can go get it, use it, for whatever he wants. I have also said that if you want to understand Obama's economic policy, understand just one thing, and that is: He considers his mission to be to return the nation's wealth to its, quote-unquote, "rightful owners."

Now, if you're familiar with Marx and Das Kapital, the rightful owners of the nation's wealth are the poor, and workers, the middle class, who are exploited and used and taken advantage of and on whose backs other people get rich. Profit is considered evil. Profit is considered something that's unequal. It's unfair to have a profit and to make one.

Before the commercial break, Rush played audio from Rep. James Clyburn's (D-SC) appearance on Hardball last week. Clyburn, discussing reparations, told Chris Matthews: "We're talking about addressing inequities, disparities that exist in the health care in our communities. That's the kind of thing that we ought to be doing." Rush said Clyburn, too, is saying things "right out of Das Kapital."

After the break, Rush read an article in The Hill about the Congressional Black Caucus criticizing an ethics probe into a trip to the Caribbean. Rush said the CBC is upset about the investigation, so they are "crying racism" by saying there aren't enough black investigators on the Ethics Committee. He concluded: "And everyone thought race business was going to go away with the election of Barack Obama."

Then Rush took a caller who described her troubles with private health care. Specifically, she noted the high cost she pays, and that lately they have been denying her coverage of a specific item that she has been using for years because, she suspected, the economy has been bad and the company is trying to make a profit. After she described her medical background, Rush concluded that somebody, somewhere, has determined the caller is "not worth it" and that this whole situation "is absurd." He added: "This whole circumstance that you're facing is absurd. And you're right, it's only going to get worse. And you know -- you know why this is the -- the reason that this is absurd is because it's gotten so out of whack you can't afford it yourself. And -- so, now, you're dependent on all these other people. This is a disaster waiting to happen."

This caller helpfully exposed one of the great faults of the conservative reflex -- observed among certain radio hosts that we monitor -- to scream "rationing!" every time national health insurance comes up. As David Leonhardt recently explained in The New York Times, the truth is that everything is rationed: "It is the process of allocating scarce resources. Even in the United States, the richest society in human history, we are constantly rationing. We ration spots in good public high schools. We ration lakefront homes. We ration the best cuts of steak and wild-caught salmon." And it's not just the government that "rations," even private insurance companies, like the caller's, ration care. So when Rush, as he did in the last hour, says that the government bureaucrats will deny you care based on how much it will cost to treat you, you have to realize that's exactly what the vaunted private sector does, and Rush acknowledged it, saying that they had determined that she was "not worth it."

After the next commercial break, Rush returned with commentary on the breaking news of the moment: Gov. Sanford's admission of an extramarital affair. Sounding rather disappointed, el RushBo's initial reaction was that "Republicans like sex, too." He continued, saying this was "inexplicable" and "unthinkable," but also explaining that "lust" is the one thing you can't control. And, of course, as always, Rush used the opportunity to lash out at Democrats: "But I'll tell you what: If he were a Democrat, it'd be a resume enhancement. It has been a resume enhancement for many years. If he were a Democrat, James Carville and Paul Begala would be out attacking this woman today; we'd find out who she was; she'd be plastered all over as trailer trash."

Then Rush briefly noted an RNC press release that said Obama's policies were crumbling around him -- which Rush took as vindication for saying Obama should fail. He also touched on another Hill article on the CBC, headlined, "CBC upset over Obama's stance on black farmers." Rush warned that Democrats who vote for cap and trade will not be re-elected in 2010. Rush "guaranteed" this.

Rush then took a caller asking what sign he should place on his television -- a long-time Limbaugh practice -- during the ABC "infomercial" tonight. Rush suggested the sign read: "These people will die of anal poisoning."

Then Rush somehow tackled two subjects at once. In the middle of playing his ever-popular "Banking Queen" Barney Frank parody (his rebuttal to Frank's request that Freddie and Fannie relax condo loan rules) Rush paused music at points to comment on the Sanford saga. For example, in the middle of the eardrum bursting chorus, Rush lamented that Sanford "could have been our JFK," but without the mob ties. Rush then complained about an "info babe" on CNN and her reaction to the Sanford story: "Some info babe -- was it CNN? Some info babe on CNN's having a hissy fit; a hissy fit over -- 'He lied to his staff. He lied to his wife.' Hey, babe, do you -- are you reminded of anybody's behavior that is similar to this? In fact, was that when he had a blue dress with a stain on it, babe. She's in a hissy fit over this -- 'He lied to his wife. He lied to his staff.' To Bill Clinton, these babes were trailer trash." The operating theory here, we guess, is that we can't be aghast at Sanford's mendacity because a Democrat once had an affair, too. We guess that if, in the future, a high-profile Democrat is revealed to have had an extramarital dalliance, Rush will keep schtum, because Gov. Sanford once had an affair, too.

Oh, and it's worth noting -- not that we're geography or bossa nova snobs or anything -- that while Rush repeatedly joked that Sanford went down to Ipanema, Ipanema is actually in Brazil, and Brazil is not in Argentina.

After another break, Rush closed out the program with more commentary on Sanford. When Republicans come out with affairs, said Rush, no one catches them. He also observed that Ensign and Sanford announced their affairs without their wives by their side, unlike Eliot Spitzer. Then Rush played the audio of "info babe" Kyra Phillips' "hissy fit," saying that Phillips "probably defended" Bill Clinton during the Lewinsky scandal. So there's the logic, if it can be called that -- Phillips "probably defended" Clinton, therefore she can't say anything about Sanford. Rush can't be bothered to actually, you know, check anything that Phillips said, because there's a "point" to be made that can't be encumbered by "facts."

Rush concluded his program today by exclaiming: "What a day to come back!" We couldn't agree more. And so ends today's Limbaugh Wire. We'll see you tomorrow for the next installment of the developing Sanford-Limbaugh-Lewis conspiracy. As always, we encourage you to check out our extensive Limbaugh archives.

Simon Maloy, Lauryn Bruck, and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: This is absurd. This whole circumstance that you're facing is absurd. And you're right, it's only going to get worse.

CALLER: It's going to get worse. It's going to get worse, because --

LIMBAUGH: And you know -- you know why this is the -- the reason that this is absurd is because it's gotten so out of whack you can't afford it yourself.

CALLER: Correct. It's $8,000 for the --

LIMBAUGH: And -- so, now, you're dependent on all these other people. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

CALLER: Yep, you better believe it. And my stepfather was on the last boat to this country with the communists seven miles behind him.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Well, no. I'll tell you, if you want a sign to put on your TV tonight while you're watching the ABC infomercial: "These people will die of anal poisoning."

[...]

LIMBAUGH: You marvel at this. But I'll tell you what: If he were a Democrat, it'd be a resume enhancement. It has been a resume enhancement for many years. If he were a Democrat, James Carville and Paul Begala would be out attacking this woman today; we'd find out who she was; she'd be plastered all over as trailer trash.

"Socialism" watch

LIMBAUGH: Remember, I said earlier that Obama's right out of Das Kapital. Obama looks at profit as just surplus revenue that he can grab. The private sector is just an endless pile of money. He can go get it, use it, for whatever he wants. I have also said that if you want to understand Obama's economic policy, understand just one thing, and that is: He considers his mission to be to return the nation's wealth to its, quote-unquote, "rightful owners."

Now, if you're familiar with Marx and Das Kapital, the rightful owners of the nation's wealth are the poor, and workers, the middle class, who are exploited and used and taken advantage of and on whose backs other people get rich. Profit is considered evil. Profit is considered something that's unequal. It's unfair to have a profit and to make one.

Ladies' man

LIMBAUGH: Some info babe -- was it CNN? Some info babe on CNN's having a hissy fit; a hissy fit over -- "He lied to his staff. He lied to his wife." Hey, babe, do you -- are you reminded of anybody's behavior that is similar to this? In fact, was that when he had a blue dress with a stain on it, babe. She's in a hissy fit over this -- "He lied to his wife. He lied to his staff." To Bill Clinton, these babes were trailer trash.