This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama's "uppity" critics
By Simon Maloy

Boy, do we have a treat for you today. In a Limbaugh Wire exclusive first, we managed to land an interview yesterday with -- are you ready for it? -- the President of the United States, Barack Obama. We've reproduced the transcript below:

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Good morning, Mr. President.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Um... good morning? It's four in the afternoon, you know.

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Oh, sorry. We like to keep things on Hokkaido time. Anyway, we wanted to clear something up right off the bat. We read on the Internet that Article IX, Section II of the Constitution expressly forbids playing hopscotch under a full moon in April. Are you aware of this?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: [awkward silence]

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Mr. President?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Er... I don't think I'm familiar with that particular section of the Constitution. There isn't even a --

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Are you admitting that you, the president of the United States, haven't read the Constitution? This is outrageous!

PRESIDENT OBAMA: No, I -- this interview is over.

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Where is your birth certif --

And that's where the Secret Service "ended the interview." When we came to several hours later, it occurred to us that perhaps we should have actually read the Constitution before asking that question, which did seem a little loaded in hindsight. Well, it turns out that there isn't even an Article IX in the Constitution, so we're feeling pretty stupid right about now. Seriously, just think for a minute about how completely and utterly stupid we looked for reading something transparently false on the Internet, assuming it was true, and then attacking the president for not knowing about it.

Rush got today's show rolling by cautioning, again, against getting "too giddy" on health care. Rush said he thinks Obama is close to going over the edge -- he grew up never laughed at or teased or criticized, and if someone talks about his big ears today, he might lose it. Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) was right, said Rush, this is Obama's Waterloo. The president says that they rescued the economy, but the poll numbers are dropping. In this new AP poll, said Rush, the number of people who think Obama can improve the economy is down. This is where the Waterloo is. Rush said there was a great question yesterday by a caller, and it has to be asked again: What have Obama and the Democrats done for you? What have they done to you? They haven't done anything for anybody. They rescued the economy? They haven't done anything, said Rush. We just found out that stimulus money is going to be used to put energy efficient lights at the Raleigh airport. It's absurd!

Then it was time to get to health care -- which on The Rush Limbaugh Show means "time to lie about health care." Rush had a simple question: If health care is such a catastrophe in this country, why didn't any of the stimulus money go toward insuring the uninsured? Rush ran some numbers, and by his calculation, you have 47 million uninsured people. You could, for between $30-100 billion, buy a health policy for all those people for one year. We should point out that that is exactly why you don't do that -- making health insurance affordable is more effective long-term than insuring people for one year. That should be obvious to anyone not interested in making stupid political points. Anyway, Rush said Obama isn't rescuing anything -- he's destroying the economy, and he's doing it on purpose. This health care debacle has no prayer of working.

Then Rush read from a "gutsy" story on the American Thinker -- which is becoming a regular source for Rush's health care lies -- headlined: "Does Ted Kennedy deserve his extended cancer care?" The premise of the article is the canard that Obama's health care reform will require the elderly to die instead of receive treatment. Rush took this ball and ran with it, playing a sound bite from Obama's health care town hall from last month on ABC, in which a woman asked the president about her elderly mother receiving a pacemaker. Rush said that the government employee health plan is not run by the government, and members of Congress are not going to opt into a government-run program.

After the break, Rush took a call from a gentleman asking why Rush is speeding up the audio bites of Obama, because he can't understand what Obama is saying when Rush does that. Rush said the reason is because these people are running at breakneck speed to get this debacle down our throats, and he's trying to illustrate that.

Then Rush said that Sen. DeMint "really hit paydirt" with this claim that health care is Obama's Waterloo. Rush then read from a National Journal report, which quoted Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) quoting an anonymous Democratic congressman quoting the president saying that if health care doesn't pass, "You're going to destroy my presidency." Rush said he thought it wasn't about Obama. Here's the deal, said Rush: "He can't handle criticism. He's never been criticized substantively, I'll guarantee you. I know these kind of people, folks -- I've worked for 'em; I've been fired by 'em. Never been criticized, never laughed at, never teased. Remember, Maureen Dowd made some comment about his elephant ears during the campaign, and he walked down off the stage and confronted her, said, 'I'm very, very sensitive about my ears.' And she said, 'We're just trying to toughen you up.' " This was debunked a long time ago -- Obama was joking with Dowd about his ears, and he actually said to her: "I was teased relentlessly when I was a kid about my big ears," which pretty much undermines the entire premise of Rush's theory. Anyway, Rush said they're falling apart over at the White House, and we better thank our lucky stars that they did the stimulus before health care, because no one would have opposed health care if it was Obama's first big push. But they started with porkulus. That isn't working, the poll numbers are plummeting, and that's why they can't do health care.

Then Rush read from DeMint's press release on "the top five questions Sen. DeMint would like the president to address" at his press conference tonight. But Obama doesn't debate issues, said Rush, "he clears the field. He gets rid of opponents. He does not debate issues. He does not do that. He has his ideas and they are his and they are right and they're gonna happen, come hell or high water, and we don't even have the right to disagree. We are being uppity if we disagree with this man's brilliance."

The Jim DeMint love train kept right on a-rollin' after the break, as Rush declared that the South Carolina senator rendered NBC's Matt Lauer "speechless" in their interview this morning. Rush then aired audio of DeMint saying we need to put the brakes on Obama's government takeover of health care and asked why we have to pass this bill in two weeks if it doesn't get implemented for four years. Rush then aired audio of Lauer asking DeMint about his "Waterloo" comments, and DeMint's response that it's not personal, but we have to stop Obama's policies. The drive-bys are trying to make it look like DeMint wants to destroy the president personally, Rush said, but Obama is already failing. He's failing our country, he's failing our economy, and what's happened is exactly what he has intended. [Insert standard "Obama is purposefully destroying the economy" rant here] The drive-bys want to make this all personal, said Rush, who said that the stimulus is also Obama's Waterloo, but there's yet another Waterloo happening out there -- the mainstream media have met their Waterloo in Obama, because they're giving up every ounce of credibility they have in helping Obama destroy the country. They are destroying themselves to defend President Obama.

Rush then moved on to the White House's latest tweet, which read: "Health care reform opponents scale up attacks, playing politics w/ our lives & livelihood." They're running this like a campaign, said Rush, and it's all about Obama. There are no health care reform opponents, said Rush. We all have ideas. There are just people who disagree with Obama's bill, which he admits he hasn't even read. Obama never takes people on in the arena of ideas, claimed Rush, instead he lies and attacks and misleads. When Obama says his opponents "attack," he means they're "bringing up facts." Obama is ramming a plan to socialize medicine through at light speed without even reading it, and he attacks those who have read it as playing politics. This bill is a jobs killer. [Re-insert standard rant about how Obama is destroying the country] There is bipartisan opposition to Obama on health care, said Rush, from the Blue Dogs and the Republicans. And the average liberal Democrat is scared to death of this because it's such an overreach. They prefer to do things stealthily.

Another break and Rush was back, saying that Obama is mad that his presidency is being destroyed. We heard that from Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA), and that's what makes him mad. He doesn't care if he destroys the economy or millions of jobs, but talk about his presidency being destroyed, and now we have some anger. The mission of the White House now is to save Obama's presidency.

Closing out the hour, Rush read extensively from yet another American Thinker piece, titled: "One Step Closer to Losing Your Right to Health Care." If Drudge isn't careful, these American Thinker knuckleheads could usurp him as Rush's programming guide.

Greg Lewis and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: He doesn't debate; he clears the field. He gets rid of opponents. He does not debate issues. He does not do that. He has his ideas and they are his and they are right and they're gonna happen, come hell or high water, and we don't even have the right to disagree. We are being uppity if we disagree with this man's brilliance.

America's Truth Rejector

Falsely claimed that Obama was never teased and that he "confronted" Maureen Dowd when she made fun of his ears:

LIMBAUGH: He can't handle criticism. He's never been criticized substantively, I'll guarantee you. I know these kind of people, folks -- I've worked for 'em; I've been fired by 'em. Never been criticized, never laughed at, never teased. Remember, Maureen Dowd made some comment about his elephant ears during the campaign, and he walked down off the stage and confronted her, said, "I'm very, very sensitive about my ears." And she said, "We're just trying to toughen you up."

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Rush's preternatural ability to congratulate himself
By Greg Lewis

Before we get into the second hour, we'd like to quickly revisit an argument that Rush made in the last hour -- that the White House is making the health care debate political while the Republicans are standing on principle. Since Rush takes the words of Republican senators -- like Grassley and DeMint -- very seriously, we'd be very interested to know his thoughts on Sen. George Voinovich's (R-OH) statement that 50 percent of the Republican opposition to the president on health care is about "declawing" Obama politically.

Anyway, the second hour got rolling with Rush saying that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) was pulling a page out of the "30-year-old Democrat [sic] playbook" by "dragging out" people with cancer to support the Democrats' health bill. Rush suggested that Republicans bring out people who "won't get drugs and procedures" they need because they wouldn't be covered under Obama's health care bill. Big government, said Rush, "is not compassionate," but rather, it is "destructive," "harmful," and denies life and liberty instead of enhancing them.

Rush then read extensively from the latest Dick Morris column at TheHill.com. Rush insisted we should take this seriously because the column is about Obama's polls, and Morris is a big-time pollster. Ah, yes, Dick Morris. Who better to rely on when talking honestly about health care, predicting the political future, or getting basic facts straight, than good ol' Dick Morris.

Anyway, Rush continued to hammer his point that Obama is not doing anything for anybody, and if the stimulus really has rescued the economy like they say it has, then all that's happened is we've been pulled out of the Titanic after it was already on the sea floor. We are drowning, proclaimed Rush. This led to Snerdley asking why public mood is "congealing" on health care. Rush answered, as he did yesterday: "It is I, and my brethren in talk radio. ... So that's why public mood is congealing. We've got the Internet; we've got a great roster of bloggers; we have a great roster of talk show hosts; we've got Levin's book. I mean, there's all kinds of people responsible for this."

Before the break, Rush read from another American Thinker piece (that's three for the day, if you're keeping count). This one cited a Wall Street Journal article reporting that federal agencies have been encouraged to host big meetings in "more buttoned-down" locations. Rush said this would anger voters, and he went on to suggest other "buttoned-down" places for meeting -- such as Detroit, Flint, Camden, or even Martha's Vineyard, since that's where Obama is vacationing.

On the other side of the break, Rush took a caller who said that the health insurance she gets working part time for a national home improvement chain is "horrible," but still "better" than what Obama is proposing. She proclaimed that it was "amazing" how much "worse off" she would be under his plan. Of course, the caller failed to explain exactly how she would be "worse off" after health care reform passed. Nevertheless, Rush said that her story "illustrates" why national health care should be "catastrophic only" because that's what breaks people's banks.

After the call, Rush briefly referred to an AP "cry sob story" designed to help get back in gear on health care. After another break, Rush took a call from a woman who talked about her 103-year-old grandmother who recently received a pacemaker. Rush said that under Obama's health care plan, her grandmother would instead be given pain medications and referred to an end-of-life counselor, per the House bill. As we pointed out yesterday, the notion that the House bill establishes government end-of-life counselors -- first posited by the ever-reliable American Thinker -- is false.

Then Rush read from a Washington Post article about how health insurance would be mandated, similar to the way car insurance is mandated. Rush then articulated the inherent differences between health and car insurance, insisting this proved his point that the article was nothing more than "state-run media propaganda." Rush then once again patted himself on the back for being the first to wish for Obama's failure, as he did yesterday, and played a new DNC ad featuring Rush and other Republicans talking about Obama failing on health care. Rush came back from the break with a brand new, gut-bustingly hilarious comedy sketch, this one featuring Jimmy Carter giving advice to Barack Obama.

Then Rush randomly interjected this little ditty about abortion:

LIMBAUGH: By the way, here's another way to look at it. We've learned that elective abortions -- Peter Orszag, the budget director, said, "No, I can't -- the elective abortions -- I can't say that they're not going to be paid for." Elective abortions will be covered in Obama health care. So, the way to explain this to people is that President Obama, of the compassionate Democrat Party, wants to provide cover for those who kill us before we're born. He wants to pay people to kill some of us before we are born, and before we're ready to die after we're born. It's called "efficiency."

We're still scratching our heads on this one. Is it possible for something to be simultaneously nonsensical and offensive?

Anyway, Rush finished off the hour with one last call, this one from an individual who said he has health insurance because he chooses to pay for it, and that it is a lie that people can't afford it. Rush explained that people have been conditioned to think they don't have to pay for things like health insurance, because their employer or the government would pay for it.

Simon Maloy, Zachary Pleat, and Zachary Aronow contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: By the way, here's another way to look at it. We've learned that elective abortions -- Peter Orszag, the budget director, said, "No, I can't -- the elective abortions -- I can't say that they're not going to be paid for." Elective abortions will be covered in Obama health care. So, the way to explain this to people is that President Obama, of the compassionate Democrat Party, wants to provide cover for those who kill us before we're born. He wants to pay people to kill some of us before we are born, and before we're ready to die after we're born. It's called "efficiency."

Ego on loan from Narcissus

LIMBAUGH: Why is what? Oh, why is skepticism building? Why is the public mood congealing? Well, I answered this question yesterday. It is I, and my brethren in talk radio -- and you know what else? Mark Levin's book. That book's out there all -- I think it's sold over a million copies. And it's still at the top of the list, and they still are trying to kill it when they review it. There is a pulse. There is a -- oh, it's more than a -- there is a big heartbeat going on in this country.

The mainstream media, state-run media -- I've said they have met their Waterloo. We can talk about Obama meeting his, but the media's met theirs, and it's Obama. They have sacrificed whatever integrity they had left, whatever character they had left. Whatever professionalism they had left, it's gone! Their Waterloo is Obama. Obama's destroying them, too, along with our economy; it's just that they are in on destroying themselves.

MSNBC is running -- do you believe this? -- a countdown clock all day to an Obama press conference. Right now, it's six hours and 46 minutes and some odd seconds. They've got a countdown clock! And they're talking about it on MSNBC today as, "Can he pull this out? Can he" -- they're not talking about what a bomb, bad, debacle of a mess the program is. They're not even reporting on the details of it.

So that's why public mood is congealing. We've got the Internet; we've got a great roster of bloggers; we have a great roster of talk show hosts; we've got Levin's book. I mean, there's all kinds of people responsible for this. But the people who are appointed the watchdogs and guardians have checked their professionalism at the door, and all they care about now is getting some private time with the president to talk about the kids.

America's Truth Rejector

Rush falsely claimed that the House health care bill will create "end-of-life" counselors:

LIMBAUGH: That's what the plan will do. And we learned yesterday that, in the House bill, there are end-of-life counselors. So in the case of your grandmother, under ObamaCare, they'd tell her "no" on the pacemaker and then they'd send a therapist in to, you know, help her deal with the fact that the government's just sentenced her to death.

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by every health care falsehood from yesterday's program
By Greg Lewis

Bringing today's tally up to four, Rush began the third hour of the program with another piece from the American Thinker, titled, "Health Care Is Not That Complicated." Then he went back to an Associated Press article he mentioned in the previous hour, headlined, "Obama may have to wait for health care passage." Rush again expounded on Obama's "charmed life," saying that Obama's political career is only 5 minutes old -- 150 days in the Senate, and "rabble rousing" as a community organizer."

Then Rush further elaborated on his idea from the previous hour that everyone should have catastrophic health insurance. Rush said that Reagan passed the Medicare Catastrophic Coverage Act in 1986, but the seniors "threw a fit" when they found out their premiums were going up, and it was repealed -- the American Association of Liberal Retired Persons (AALRP) "blew a gasket" about this, said Rush. He figured this was how the term "greedy geezer" was coined. We're not sure Reagan is the best person to cite when talking about Medicare, given that Reagan famously once said that if Medicare isn't stopped, "one of these days you and I are going to spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it once was like in America when men were free." That prediction hasn't really panned out. But perhaps Rush and the other conservatives who are essentially saying the same thing today about health care reform will have better luck.

Rush then went back to the clips he played on yesterday's show of town meetings on health care with Sen. Ben Cardin (D-MD) and Kathleen Sebelius. Rush had a new clip to add, one of Rep. Russ Carnahan (D-MO) talking about health care at a local event. Rush said that in the sound bite, the audience was "laughing" at his speech.

Then Rush went through a series of audio clips from Katie Couric's interview with Obama on last night's CBS Evening News. One of the questions he singled out was Couric asking, "if the stimulus plan isn't really working" then "why should Americans sign off on spending billions of dollars on health care reform?" Obama disagreed with the framing of the question, and credited his administration for stabilizing the financial markets. This was problematic for Rush: "[D]o you realize what a myth the financial markets are?" asked Rush. "Twenty three trillion to make them all solvent is what somebody said it would cost -- 23 trillion! There haven't been a trillion hours since Christ was born. Or a trillion -- a trillion seconds maybe. Ah, something like that. Twenty-three trillion!" We'd like to briefly point out that the $23 trillion figure Rush is throwing about is rather far from reality.

After the break, Rush read from an email he "intercepted" from a "liberal, pro-government run health care advocate" that was sent to his organizing group. Rush proclaimed that the "libs" are upset with him again. He then theorized that the reason Obama was in a hurry to pass health care reform was because Obama and Rahm Emanuel are going to tell members of Congress that their fates will be like those of Sebelius, Cardin, and Carnahan -- their constituents will hang them out to dry during their August recess, so they have to pass it now. So, if we heard this correctly, Rush is saying the real reason why the White House wants to pass health care reform is that voters will be upset if it isn't passed? That would seem to suggest that Americans really, really want health care reform and they want it now. We're not sure Rush really thought this one through beforehand, but we'll take it -- Rush Limbaugh says Americans want health care reform passed immediately. Thanks, Rush!

Of course, that's not what Rush is really saying; he's saying that the White House is telling Democrats that the voters are so much more informed on the bill than they are, and they'll rip them to shreds on the issue if the bill isn't passed. This, of course, assumes that constituents will only ask their members of Congress about the health bill if it doesn't pass, which makes absolutely no sense.

Rush came back from another break playing an audio bite from Obama's conference call with bloggers, in which a blogger asked him about the now-debunked editorial in Investor's Business Daily alleging that the House health care bill makes private insurance "illegal." We dealt with this claim yesterday too many times to count, and there was an audible thud in our cell office as our heads slammed into our desks when he brought it up again today. Then Rush repeated his claim that Obama would deny your grandmother a pacemaker and make her take painkillers instead:

LIMBAUGH: Let's just zone you out. Let's just zone your grandmother out, loop her out, put her on the pain medicine, and she won't even know that she's going to die. In fact, she won't remember dying. Can you believe this is happening in our country? I can understand some of the -- you know, calling up Kim Jong Il. I can understand somebody calling up Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro, if they could get through, "Can you do something about -- my -- you know, my grandmother is only 50. No, too old! No money. Dead!" Hang up. But calling the president of the United States? And asking this kind of question?

After some more discussion of Pelosi's "parade of victims" today, Rush took another caller who asked if "chameleon" Obama would move back to the center for the 2010 elections. As you might expect, this led Rush to another one of his rants that Obama is a radical leftist and will do whatever has to be done to save his presidency. Rush speculated that Obama might even enjoy it if the GOP took over one of the houses of Congress so that he "can share the blame" like Clinton did. Liberals are dishonest, hold people in contempt, only want power, etc etc etc.

Rush returned from another break with a story of the type that he just "loves" -- an article on how this July 21 was the coolest on record in Nashville, Tennessee, which is where Al Gore lives. You want to know why Rush loves stories like these? Because they appeal to the facile mind that dismisses thoughtful analysis of an issue like climate change in favor of calling Al Gore an idiot. And, sure enough, Rush had a good laugh at this, saying that global warming doesn't exist, just like there isn't a health care crisis, but Obama said he has to raise taxes to fix both of those things.

The day's final caller told Rush that whenever Obama is asked a hard question at press conferences, he goes into a "rant" and doesn't actually answer the question. Rush said that's the point -- Obama uses long answers to limit the number of questions and "dazzle" people with his "command of intricate detail."

Rush closed out his show with audio from fellow broadcaster Al Sharpton's radio show. The clip featured Sharpton explaining to his audience that Obama wasn't "lying" about reparations because he never said he supported them. Rush, a modern day W.E.B. DuBois, is never shy about confronting race issues head-on, so we'll just let his words speak for themselves:

LIMBAUGH: What they don't know is that in -- Obama's entire economic program is reparations. If I were Sharpton, if I'd been guest-hosting Sharpton's show and I got a call like that, somebody complaining, I'd say, "No, don't do -- hey, hey, hey, shh, shh, [unintelligible] the truth here. Everything in the stimulus plan, every plan he's got is reparations. He's going to take from the rich -- he's going to take from them, he's going to give it to you. It's just can't happen overnight. Be patient." That's what's -- redistribution of wealth, reparations, returning the nation's wealth to its rightful owners, whatever you want to call it. It's reparations.

"This has been fun today!" proclaimed Rush as he brought his program to a close. We're not sure if we agree -- at least not by his definition of fun -- but we'll still be back tomorrow. If you're looking for something to keep you, err, entertained for the next 21 hours, the Limbaugh Wire archives should fit the bill.

Simon Maloy, Zachary Pleat, and Zachary Aronow contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Let's just zone you out. Let's just zone your grandmother out, loop her out, put her on the pain medicine, and she won't even know that she's going to die. In fact, she won't remember dying. Can you believe this is happening in our country? I can understand some of the -- you know, calling up Kim Jong Il. I can understand somebody calling up Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro, if they could get through, "Can you do something about -- my -- you know, my grandmother is only 50. No, too old! No money. Dead!" Hang up. But calling the president of the United States? And asking this kind of question?

[...]

LIMBAUGH: What they don't know is that in -- Obama's entire economic program is reparations. If I were Sharpton, if I'd been guest-hosting Sharpton's show and I got a call like that, somebody complaining, I'd say, "No, don't do -- hey, hey, hey, shh, shh, [unintelligible] the truth here. Everything in the stimulus plan, every plan he's got is reparations. He's going to take from the rich -- he's going to take from them, he's going to give it to you. It's just can't happen overnight. Be patient." That's what's -- redistribution of wealth, reparations, returning the nation's wealth to its rightful owners, whatever you want to call it. It's reparations.

America's Truth Rejector

Rush wildly overstated the projected cost of the bailouts:

LIMBAUGH: Oh, yeah, they'll rescue the economy out there. So, none of that's true. Think about the financial markets -- you know he stabilized financial markets? It wasn't the stimulus plan; Bernanke has flooded the financial markets with dollars! And I saw the other day, it's -- if we fully bailed it out -- do you realize what a myth the financial markets are? Twenty three trillion to make them all solvent is what somebody said it would cost -- 23 trillion! There haven't been a trillion hours since Christ was born. Or a trillion -- a trillion seconds maybe. Ah, something like that. Twenty-three trillion!