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Beck Ties New "Half-Black Half-Hispanic Gay Spider-Man" To Michelle Obama Saying That "We're Gonna Have To Change Our Traditions"

August 03, 2011 10:39 am ET

From the August 3 edition of Premiere Radio Networks' The Glenn Beck Program:

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    • Author by Imbecile (August 03, 2011 10:43 am ET)
      28  
      "I care so little about the fact that he's half black and half hispanic that I'm going to make it the focus of my discussion of the new spider man."
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    • Author by phlcstgan (August 03, 2011 10:45 am ET)
      23  
      Christ, again with his weird-ass Spider-Man fetish. I always feel sorry for the creators of any popular culture he gets into; I hope somebody pulls a Muse again. That was hilarious.
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      • Author by Imbecile (August 03, 2011 10:56 am ET)
        23  
        I'm imagining the creators of Spider Man having a meeting that goes something like:

        Writer 1: Crap, that Glenn Beck weirdo is getting all giddy on the air again about Spider Man. Christ, that dude creeps me the hell out.

        Writer 2: I know, man. I mean, come on! Can't he like Battlefield Earth instead? Why us? What did we do to deserve this weirdo's strangely infatuous attention?

        Writer 3: I don't know. I just wish there was something we could do to get him to stop talking about how much he loves Spider Man. He's going to kill the franchise and the only people who will show up at our movies will be cranky old racist white people who think the world may end before the movie does.

        Writer 2: I've got an idea! Hey, I've got an idea! Glenn Beck hates Mexicans, right? Right?? Let's make Spider Man Hispanic! He'll hate it!

        Writer 1: Better yet, let's make him half Hispanic and half black. He'll hate it even more.

        Writer 3: Oooh! Ooh! Let's make him gay, too! God, I swear if we do this Glenn Beck will never come to see it. He'll hate it so much he'll tell all his fans to stay away, too!

        Writer 2: Oh, man! This could save us! This is great!
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    • Author by Persia (August 03, 2011 10:49 am ET)
      10  
      WHAT?
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    • Author by boxtop (August 03, 2011 10:53 am ET)
        23
      Maybe public shools could teach this.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by phlcstgan (August 03, 2011 10:58 am ET)
      18  
      And you know what just occurred to me? Who the hell cares what color a character's skin is when his face is completely hidden?
      Report Abuse
    • Author by OHBROTHER58 (August 03, 2011 11:00 am ET)
      21  
      Yes, Glenn, you nailed it again! That's exactly what Michelle Obama was saying, that all heterosexual whites must immediately change both their sexual orientation and their race.

      There's a scene in the movie "Tommy Boy", where David Spade is watching with disgust as Chris Farley eats french fries. Spade says to Farley: "I can actually hear you getting fatter."

      That is what I would like to say to Beck: "I can actually hear you getting dumber."
      Report Abuse
    • Author by Jimijams (August 03, 2011 11:01 am ET)
      15  
      Cartoons, that's all this guy knows.
      "I don't care. I really don't care" Means he DOES care.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by pete592 (August 03, 2011 11:04 am ET)
      15  
      Apparently a white Spider-Man is tradition that's crucial to America's survival.

      It's DefCon 5. Get inside your doom bunker and seal the door.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by borealis (August 03, 2011 1:49 pm ET)
        6  
        Hi pete592. Not a big deal, but I believe the DefCon system goes the other direction toward doom. DefCon 1 is the alert for NORAD to close up the mountain and leave the rest of us out here to fry.
        Report Abuse
        • Author by pete592 (August 03, 2011 2:04 pm ET)
          6  
          I believe you're right. It's been a long time since I watched "Wargames."
          Report Abuse
    • Author by foole (August 03, 2011 11:04 am ET)
      19  
      I've got two for this one:

      1. Glenn believes only white people should wear hoods.

      or

      2. Glenn's special Spider-man mask has a point on top.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by montanabuddha (August 03, 2011 11:15 am ET)
      9  
      Was curious to see the new Spiderman so I put on my Haz-Mat suit and went over to Tah Blaze but no Spidey story could I find.

      So here is an MTV link.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by Ribelin2000 (August 03, 2011 11:32 am ET)
      6 1
      Nothing would make me happier than to watch the re-animated corpse of Martin Luther King find Glenn Beck and eat his brains.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by bailorgana (August 03, 2011 11:33 am ET)
      8  
      A corection Beck, the New Spider-Man is from the Ultimate Marvel Version, the Standard Marvel Version is still Peter Parker who is alive in the standard version. You Jackass!
      Report Abuse
      • Author by cst (August 03, 2011 5:01 pm ET)
        3  
        Don't explain it. Anyone who can't deal with something like this is a bigot... and you'd just be allowing them to dodge admitting that by claiming that "well, this isn't the REAL Spider-man". AS IF THERE IS ONE.
        Report Abuse
    • Author by blk-in-alabam (August 03, 2011 11:35 am ET)
      5  
      That's people who sell movies saying their markets have changed,and doing whatever it takes to miss no dollars
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    • Author by Kevin.P.Edwards (August 03, 2011 11:42 am ET)
      5  
      .... Guys this is serious ... I mean I just put a pencil in my mouth just so I could let it fall all dramatic like.

      There is plot detail that could give a character an interesting dilemma in a comic book. However, this detail could be taken to be ... liberal/progressive/etc.

      Never has a plot detail been so offensive since Invasion of the Neptune Men.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KyKdM-4uZw


      NB: Yes I crossed the mentioning Hitler line, and yes it is hilarious. To paraphrase: repeat to yourself, this is just a joke, and I should really just relax.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by bailorgana (August 03, 2011 11:44 am ET)
      7 1
      Also the New Spidey is not Gay.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by TheDayV (August 03, 2011 1:57 pm ET)
        6  
        Yeah, that struck me as being odd in the headline. I saw this story the other day and thought I would have noticed that detail. Then again, does Beck adding that little falsehood to the story surprise me? No.
        Report Abuse
    • Author by nerzog (August 03, 2011 11:51 am ET)
      10  
      For some time, I've been thinking that the Angry White Male Whinefest that has propelled the Republican Party for the past 40 years will eventually run out of steam... but they keep finding new stuff about which they can pretend to be outraged.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by TXI (August 03, 2011 1:14 pm ET)
        2 1
        What makes you think it is pretend outrage?
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        • Author by nerzog (August 03, 2011 1:30 pm ET)
          6  
          Because, if it's genuine outrage, they have to be stupid, bigots or both... and I hate to think that of my fellow Americans.
          Report Abuse
          • Author by E.Hatt-Swank (August 03, 2011 9:06 pm ET)
            1  
            I'll never forget the outrage in Austin a few years back, when First Street was renamed after Cesar Chavez. The right-wing Texans were so offended... I actually heard some local right-wing radio guy lamenting "When was the last time they named anything after a white person?" The mind reels.
            Report Abuse
    • Author by uncle.billy (August 03, 2011 12:01 pm ET)
      4  
      Texas Becky you are confusing the cowboys...
      Report Abuse
    • Author by cst (August 03, 2011 12:08 pm ET)
      8  
      Geez, wait'll he finds out what happens in the new issue of HELLBOY.
      (seriously!)
      Report Abuse
    • Author by FNC Liberal (August 03, 2011 12:15 pm ET)
      8  
      I rather be half-black and half-Hispanic than a full buffoon and a full idiot.
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    • Author by fyrsta (August 03, 2011 1:53 pm ET)
      5  
      Oh wow, Beck, you're right! Miles Morales looks just like President Obama! You know, with the whole dark-skinned thing going on...

      /sigh.
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    • Author by heehee..santorum (August 03, 2011 2:17 pm ET)
      7  
      I sure hope that one day he gets to meet Mrs. Obama. I also hope she smacks him in the mouth.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by Razorgeist (August 03, 2011 3:58 pm ET)
      2  
      I used to be an avid reader of Ultimate Spider-man despite Glenn Beck's idiotic opinion its actually an awesome comic and in my opinion better than its mainstream counterpart. Now I havent read Ultimate Spidey in a few years as Ive generally moved back into the DC comics camp and the Ultimate stuff had lost my interest due to the Ultimatum event. However this whole new Spider-man has actually caught my attention and as I resault I plan on reading the title again. Now listening to this tripe it becomes evident that Glenn isn't a comic reader so Im at a loss to wonder why he cares to comment on this. Oh thats right because they've decided to change something that he has a superficial knowledge of and it can easily be fit into his conspiracy theory narative. So Im inclined to remind Glann to once again "Shut Up!" as you have no idea what you're talking about (Miles isn't gay!) as usual.
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    • Author by mcnairbo6573 (August 03, 2011 5:41 pm ET)
      4  
      It must be all the Obamas' fault that Marvel went with a minority mix. Everyone knows only white people can be positive characters.
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    • Author by Wes C. Addle (August 03, 2011 5:46 pm ET)
      4  
      You do care about the racial component of the new Spiderman, Beck. You're ranting about it.

      All artists: Your interpretations of fictional characters must now go through the delusional approval of Glenn Beck.

      And yes, this is "stupid."
      Report Abuse
    • Author by E.Hatt-Swank (August 03, 2011 9:12 pm ET)
      2  
      I really, honestly do not like to toss around the term "racist" casually. There's no other explanation for Beck's disdain for this (should-be) trivial change other than flat-out gut-level racism. If one really doesn't care about something like this, then one probably doesn't feel compelled to go on the radio and rant about it for five minutes. Just listen to the disgust in his voice when he says Spider-Man now looks like Obama. Don't try to hide it, Glenn! Let your inner Pat Buchanan run free!
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