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Wash. Post's Quinn suggested "personal ambition" led Clinton and Silda Wall Spitzer to "stand by her man" because "there was something in it for her"

March 12, 2008 5:00 pm ET

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SUMMARY: In a report on "powerful men who cheat and the women who stand stoically by them," CBS News' Nancy Cordes aired a clip of The Washington Post's Sally Quinn saying, "I can only think that ambition, their own personal ambition, is part of why they stick by these men, because they are accomplished women in their own right. And so, why would a Hillary Clinton or a Silda [Wall Spitzer] stand by her man and allow herself to be humiliated unless there was something in it for her?"

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On the March 11 edition of the CBS Evening News, anchor Katie Couric introduced a report by correspondent Nancy Cordes on "powerful men who cheat and the women who stand stoically by them." During the report, Cordes asked, "Big-city mayors, members of Congress, presidents, and presidential candidates: Why would they let sex jeopardize a position they worked so hard to win?" and aired a clip of Washington Post reporter Sally Quinn saying: "I can only think that ambition, their own personal ambition, is part of why they stick by these men, because they are accomplished women in their own right. And so, why would a Hillary Clinton or a Silda [Wall Spitzer, wife of New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer] stand by her man and allow herself to be humiliated unless there was something in it for her?" Cordes then noted that "Wendy Vitter, whose senator husband David [R-LA] paid a prostitute, had a different explanation," and aired a clip of Wendy Vitter saying, "Like all marriages, ours is not perfect -- none of us are."

Similarly, during the March 11 broadcast of his CNN Headline News program, Glenn Beck remarked of Eliot Spitzer, "The thing that I'm most shocked about in this whole thing, or most disturbed about, is watching his wife stand beside him as he made these statements yesterday." Beck's guest, psychologist and author David Eigen, asserted: "Probably the wife knows that things weren't working ... and she's been going, 'I enjoy my lifestyle. I enjoy my position. And it's simply -- we've been allowing this to go on and on.' And there's been no true dialog ... and that's what really is the problem." Eigen later added: "Well, you know, this is a sad situation. But you know, the bottom line is -- how do I say this genteelly? They're paid to not worry about it. And they're in a position -- they've bartered themselves, in many cases. And unfortunately, you know, she's made her bed, and she's sleeping in it." Beck replied: "Ay, yi, yi."

According to the biography posted on his website, Eigen received a "Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology, from Delphi University," in McCaysville, Georgia. The website also states that Eigen is an "Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist," a "Certified Breath Release Therapist," and a "Past Life Regression Therapist." According to its website, Delphi University is an "International School of Alternative, Complementary and Energy Healing, Metaphysics, Spiritual Training, Esoteric Studies, Transpersonal Psychology, and Intuitive and Psychic Development. Equally important, Delphi is a Spiritual Retreat, a Unique and Magical Place of Self Improvement, Spiritual Growth and Personal Transformation. Founded by Patricia Hayes in 1974, Delphi is the place for those seeking to Discover, Develop, Enhance, and Refine their Spiritual Gifts and Abilities, as well as to Grow, Transform, and Heal themselves."

From the March 11 edition of the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric

COURIC: The scandal involving New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has thrown a spotlight on a dark corner of politics: powerful men who cheat and the women who stand stoically by them. What makes these men, who seem to have it all, so reckless? And why do their wives put on such a brave public face? Here's Nancy Cordes.

[...]

[begin video clip]

CORDES: Big-city mayors, members of Congress, presidents, and presidential candidates: Why would they let sex jeopardize a position they worked so hard to win?

LAUREN SILVERMAN (clinical psychologist): Sometimes people who are very powerful feel as if they're exempt from the law. They may cut corners and feel as if they can get away with it.

PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON: I did something for the worst possible reason, just because I could.

CORDES: And there at their side, almost always, are the wives, showing support in the face of something that seems unforgivable, as Silda Spitzer did yesterday.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: She looked awful, like, you know, your heart went out to her -- which, if he was appealing for that, then yes. But I can't imagine even asking her to do that after what he put her through already.

QUINN: I can only think that ambition, their own personal ambition, is part of why they stick by these men, because they are accomplished women in their own right. And so, why would a Hillary Clinton or a Silda stand by her man and allow herself to be humiliated unless there was something in it for her?

CORDES: Wendy Vitter, whose senator husband, David, paid a prostitute, had a different explanation.

WENDY VITTER: Like all marriages, ours is not perfect -- none of us are.

CORDES: But even if their families forgive, in today's video universe, it's virtually impossible for anyone to forget.

From the March 11 edition of CNN Headline News' Glenn Beck:

BECK: The thing that I'm most shocked about in this whole thing, or most disturbed about, is watching his wife stand beside him as he made these statements yesterday. Am I the only guy in America whose wife would have punched him in the face, and then I would have slept outside or at a hotel without the hookers last night?

He betrayed her. He betrayed the family, the children -- my goodness! The children had to leave for school today with a whole swarm of media. Thanks, Dad.

Dr. David Eigen is a psychologist and author of Men: The Gods of Love. I mean, with that title, I don't know if you're the right guy to talk to -- the gods of love.

First of all, what is this gonna mean -- let's start with the kids. What do you think this is gonna mean for the three kids -- three daughters, teenagers?

EIGEN: It's very sad for the children. They're going to have to go through a lot of changes. But, you know, really the answer to this whole picture is simply that, obviously, the man has not been leading -- is leading a double life, and he's not been honest. The family hasn't been honest. Probably the wife knows that things weren't working --

BECK: Yeah.

EIGEN: -- and she's been going, "I enjoy my lifestyle. I enjoy my position. And it's simply -- we've been allowing this to go on and on." And there's been no true dialog --

BECK: David, I --

EIGEN: -- and that's what really is the problem.

BECK: Yeah, I have to tell you, that crossed my mind with these women, that, I mean, you don't stand there -- you don't even -- I mean, you don't even walk up to the podium, you'd be in such shock. Now, maybe they're standing there at the podium because they are in shock, and they just don't -- they haven't, you know, woken up to it yet, or they knew.

Can you live with a guy who's making it with hookers for years and not really know?

EIGEN: Well, you know, this is a sad situation. But you know, the bottom line is -- how do I say this genteelly? They're paid to not worry about it. And they're in a position -- they've bartered themselves, in many cases. And unfortunately, you know, she's made her bed, and she's sleeping in it.

BECK: Ay, yi, yi.

EIGEN: And that's the unfortunate consequence of all of this. Obviously, they need to have a real, true dialog. Getting counseling would be wonderful, absolutely necessary between him and his children, especially, because they're the collateral damage, if you will. And you know, but it's about, "Hey, what's the real truth? Who am I as governor? Who is the wife? Do we have a relationship? What's it based on? Are we done being fake --

BECK: Yeah.

EIGEN: -- or are we really gonna be real now?"

BECK: OK. Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate it.

Expand All Expand 1st Level Collapse All Add Comment
    • Author by snoopy (March 12, 2008 5:05 pm ET)
         
      Of course, those vows of "for better or worse" had nothing to do with it, right? Gee, perhaps they both stayed because they wanted to make their marraige work. Isn't that supposed to be a family value? But no, we get dingbats like dr. laura saying it was the wife's fault. That must be how today's republican jutifies all these men in office who have been caught - and then decide to not resign.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by socal7425 (March 12, 2008 5:27 pm ET)
           
        Don't you just love it when outsiders who know nothing of the dynamics of a relationship come up with endless psychobabble projecting reasons for someone's behaviour..in this case Mrs. Spitzer.  It is obviously a personal tragedy for the family..particularly the children.  Isn't there enough salacious scandal inherent in this story without inventing more crap to talk about?
        Report Abuse
        • Author by fromthesouthland (March 13, 2008 10:21 am ET)
             
          I agree with you completely.  My motto has alway been "don't ever say never" because you never know what you would do in any situation until that situation involves you.  The former wife of New Jersey stood by his side when he resigned - in retrospect she probably wished she hadn't, but she doesn't have any condemnation for others who have done so.  It's just family dynamics - they are reacting to a family tragedy and it has inothing to do with personal ambition or agendas.  But hey, that's how a lot of people make their money -off other's tragedies.  Wonder if they could pass scrutiny? 
          Report Abuse
          • Author by thomp.steve9098 (March 13, 2008 11:58 am ET)
               
            You hit the nail on the head.  People never know how they're going to react to a deeply distressing situation until they're in that situation.  As for McGreevy's wife, I think she behaved pretty admirable. I don't have kids, so didn't give her position much thought at the time. But she says that she stuck by her husband when he was exposed because she wanted to be there for her children's father, who happened loved their kids and whose kids loved him.  I'm sure spitzer's wife is pissed as hell, but at the moment her thoughts may be on simply trying to help her kids through the mess their father created . .. . 
            Report Abuse
      • Author by IRONY 101 (March 12, 2008 6:39 pm ET)
           

        "And so, why would a...Silda [Wall Spitzer, wife of New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer] stand by her man and allow herself to be humiliated unless there was something in it for her?"

        Uhhh, three teenage daughters, you moron.

        Report Abuse
    • Author by Sueelldd (March 12, 2008 5:11 pm ET)
         
      No, I think it is just shock. Plus this sleeze ball is the father or her children.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by jeter2 (March 12, 2008 5:31 pm ET)
           

        Exactly Sue. I felt bad for Silda Spitzer, she looked like a zombie standing by his side. Right now she's probably only thinking about her kids feelings. This is still their father, even if she hates his guts, or will when she comes out of this fog.

        As for Hillary standing by Bill, well who knows? Probably because of Chelsea, but also she knew that she had ambitions that might be better realized by remaining MRS. Clinton rather than the EX Mrs. Clinton.

        Woman or men that stay with a cheating spouse puzzle me. Once trust is gone, I'm not sure how one recovers it.

        Report Abuse
        • Author by wzwriter (March 12, 2008 5:44 pm ET)
             

          Woman or men that stay with a cheating spouse puzzle me. Once trust is gone, I'm not sure how one recovers it.

          Trust can be recovered if both partners are willing to work at it.  It won't return overnight, but it can with time.

          Report Abuse
        • Author by juliajayne (March 13, 2008 9:32 am ET)
             

          Hey Jeter, aren't you with the "family values" party? The one that carps about divorce rates? I could swear that was true.

          Yes, people can repair a marriage after cheating has occured. Our divorce rate would be double what it is now if that did not happen. Hardly anyone would be married. Staying probably wouldn't be my choice. But I certainly don't denigrate anyone who wishes to try again especially if they've invested a lot of years, have children, etc.. My sister is still married to her cheating husband. They have worked it out and he now treats her better than he ever did before. She seems happy.

          Report Abuse
          • Author by juliajayne (March 13, 2008 9:33 am ET)
               
            I'm not saying you're denigrating anyone. That clearly isn't the case. Just talkin' about the repair part of cheating.
            Report Abuse
    • Author by watershed (March 12, 2008 5:11 pm ET)
         
      There has been a lot of talk about his wife. Astonishing that anyone would have the gall to question her motives in this of all situations. How can anyone speak for their marriage? And they have three children as well.
      Report Abuse
      • Author by snoopy (March 12, 2008 5:17 pm ET)
           
        Ever been to church my friend? Just stick around after mass. Talking about other people's marraiges is all you ever hear from the holier than thou crowd.
        Report Abuse
        • Author by watershed (March 12, 2008 5:21 pm ET)
             
          Ha! True. But to have the media spotlight and discuss her motives, when she of all people needs some respect and privacy, it's just, again, astonishing.
          Report Abuse
        • Author by wzwriter (March 12, 2008 5:52 pm ET)
             

          Ever been to church my friend? Just stick around after mass. Talking about other people's marraiges is all you ever hear from the holier than thou crowd.

          Part of the reason I left the Catholic Church years ago....

          Report Abuse
          • Author by IRONY 101 (March 12, 2008 6:40 pm ET)
               
            You must not have practiced hard enough... ;>)
            Report Abuse
            • Author by DTF (March 12, 2008 6:45 pm ET)
                 
              Hey...didn't you use that same line recently?  Recycling is good though...:)
              Report Abuse
              • Author by IRONY 101 (March 12, 2008 6:58 pm ET)
                   

                Yea, but only while I'm working on some killer new material.  ;>)

                Report Abuse
      • Author by tommy (March 12, 2008 5:21 pm ET)
           
        You are right Watershed, it is nobody's damn business why these women stick by their man, or throw them to the curb.  Let them have some privacy, for god's sake.  
        Report Abuse
    • Author by MoonbatYouBet (March 12, 2008 5:16 pm ET)
         
      What a perfect week to ask for a "do over" on your lewd behavior guilty plea!!!
      Report Abuse
    • Author by DTF (March 12, 2008 5:24 pm ET)
         

      Wow, it is simply amazing that all of these fine people are willing to comment on and diagnose situations from videotapes and written accounts.

      Gov. Spitzer's actions?  Hypocrisy lends itself to humor.

      His wife and children, I'm sad for them.  They don't deserve the media attention.  Him?  I'm thinking that the stocks would be a good option...let him wear a scarlet letter for a while.

      Who said it on another thread...anyone who wants to comment on this should first file a signed and sealed statement affirming that they have never engaged in prositution and never participated in an extramarital affair.  I'll add this...right after that they should apply a liberal amount of duct tape to their pie holes.

      Report Abuse
      • Author by DEMS_SOL (March 12, 2008 5:52 pm ET)
           

        ...anyone who wants to comment on this should first file a signed and sealed statement affirming that they have never engaged in prositution and never participated in an extramarital affair.  I'll add this...right after that they should apply a liberal amount of duct tape to their pie holes.

        An excellent point DTF - and anyone who hasn't been to the war shouldnt comment on war, and anyone who is not gay shouldn't comment on gay issues, and anyone who has never been president shouldn't comment on the presidents axctions, and anyone who has never run a business shouldn't comment on the economy, etc...etc...etc..  Time to buy stock in duct tape?

        Report Abuse
        • Author by watershed (March 12, 2008 6:16 pm ET)
             
          Oh, come on. Slight difference between discussing political issues and the private matters of a husband and wife, wouldn't you say? SoCal is right- no-one has the right to question or comment on their marriage or relationship with any sense of authority or self righteousness.
          Report Abuse
        • Author by DTF (March 12, 2008 6:27 pm ET)
             

          Yeah, crikey, lad!  We're talking hypocrisy here, and I think we all remember someone who said something about somebody without sin casting the first stone?

          I'm starting to feel bad about my comments regarding Gov. Spitzer...but at least I'm not providing analysis from afar of his wife and their relationship, I'm not blaming wives for their husband's philandering.  I haven't engaged in an extramarital affair, I can't understand why anyone would solicit a prostitute, but that is just me.  These people seem to think it is just fine to define this woman by their own standards for their own purposes to advance their own agendas...

          Gov. Spitzer is fair game, and talking about why men choose to solicit prostitutes is fair game.  Claiming some innate knowledge of the reasons why wives react the way that they do is in very poor taste.  Someone wants to tell their own story, I'm fine with that.  Someone wants to claim some moral high ground and denigrate another's choices, I'd expect that the "moral high-grounder" to be squeaky clean.

          Report Abuse
        • Author by solon (March 13, 2008 2:57 pm ET)
             
          In America CITIZENS are the top layer of government. We are not subjects its our JOB to help form policy decisions.  Yours was a false equvilence
          Report Abuse
    • Author by notanotherconservative2254 (March 12, 2008 9:09 pm ET)
         

      I think that this issue is the main reason that we in the Democrat Party have to get past the sleazy Clinton years!  

       

      Go Obama!!!

      Report Abuse
      • Author by BillJ-MN (March 13, 2008 11:45 am ET)
           
        That "Democrat Party" of yours must have a pretty low membership.  I never see it on any election ballots.
        Report Abuse
      • Author by solon (March 13, 2008 2:58 pm ET)
           

        There is no such thing as a Democrat party. How stupid do you have to be to not know the NAME of the largest political party in the US?

        Report Abuse
    • Author by Jersey Tomato (March 12, 2008 10:19 pm ET)
         
      Wait - wasn't Sally Quinn a low-level society reporter at the WaPo before she started banging her married boss? The one who subsequently divorced his wife to marry her? I guess she'd know something about sex and ambition.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by clairendipity (March 12, 2008 11:54 pm ET)
         
      Did anyone else think that Eigen was, in effect, calling Mrs. Spitzer a prostitute?  "Genteely" suggesting that the reason that she put up with getting emotionally screwed by her husband was because she was "paid to not worry about it?"  That disturbs me even more than Spitzer's Popeye face.  It's not his fault!  He's already married to a hooker!
      Report Abuse
      • Author by Don Hussein Fabuloso (March 13, 2008 2:27 am ET)
           
        Bill O'Reilly, PhD, has already concluded that Spitzer wanted to destroy himself. Case closed. He even gave his verdict to the ex-call girl he had on as a guest tonight. The one who had to explain, to BilldO,the difference between blackmail motives regarding drug dealers and prostitutes.
        Report Abuse
        • Author by wzwriter (March 13, 2008 11:30 am ET)
             

          Bill O'Reilly, PhD

          In this case, "PhD" stands for "Piled Higher and Deeper".  :-)

          Report Abuse
    • Author by hputera7113 (March 13, 2008 12:30 pm ET)
         

      I am very disturbed by some of the attacks Mrs. Spitzer and other women who stand by their husband have gotten from people and other women in particular.  How can they analize how a person would and does feel as truth is beyond my comprehension.  What makes them so sure they know the answers to anything unless they are judging how they would react in such a case. 

      As far as I remember my vows when I married some 45 years ago, it was for better or worse.  Who are these self rightous persons to presumes they kow all.  I am upset and disgusted with the way our human race attacks a person when down and then plays "God" as to the reasons for a person staying in a committed relationship.  People please grow up.  After so many years you just don't walk away.  Leave the women alone, let them heal and who knows what Mrs. Spitzer will deside after the hurt wears off and they talk about why this happened.  This is their business and we should not try to analize something we do not know and shoud have no business in.  People today love to throw stones not only at the person who  is gulity, but the person who has been wronged and needs some compassion from us the public.  I am ashamed of some of the things these rightous people have put forward all in the name of them knowing why these people stand by their men.   SOME BELIEVE IN A COMMITMENT THAT THEY TOOK YEARS AGO, WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?

      Report Abuse
    • Author by swift (March 13, 2008 2:14 pm ET)
         
      It's obvious why the comments are coming so fast and heavy about Spitzer's wife: they want it to reflect badly on Hillary. Having been born into a family with a chronically unfaithful father, I well know the conflicting emotions of these crises. I can only repeat what Hillary in fact said: each case is different. Take your time and do what's right for you. I'd never judge what the woman has done.

      On the other hand, Sally Quinn, if anybody remembers, was a young employee of the Washington Post who broke up Ben Bradlee's marriage, and she has some nerve being the doyenne of Washington Propriety. Or maybe, she's its perfect representative.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by Lorelei (March 13, 2008 2:49 pm ET)
         

      hmph.  

       Hate to tell ya, but there are some people that are married to each other and "sex" is not the indicator of love for each other.

       

      For some people sex is just that...SEX.   Love is a different and differentiated from having sex.  

       

      ....and....there are a lot of people like that, men AND women. 

      Report Abuse
    • Author by xxxxx (March 13, 2008 3:40 pm ET)
         
      <>

      Since Sally Quinn's own career as a "journalist" is due solely to the fact that she married Benjamin Bradlee, I think she may be projecting a tiny bit.
      Report Abuse
    • Author by nonbearing137 (March 13, 2008 4:17 pm ET)
         
      the truth is, you never know what's going on in someone else's relationship.  I have had acquaintances whom I thought would never get divorced, then wham - they get divorced.  Heck, sometimes you don't even know what's going on in your own relationship.
      Report Abuse

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