Hour 3: Fill-in Steyn calls Obama "the world's oldest 13-year-old" for his comments on nuclear weapons

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Princess Fluffy Bunny Obama
By Simon Maloy

Steyn got the final hour started by proclaiming that Obama is "way out of his league," as evidenced by his desire to be "community organizer in chief." Steyn was referring to Obama's speech in Prague, in which he called for a "world without nuclear weapons." Obama's comments, according to Steyn, were "beyond pitiful" and made him sound like "the world's oldest 13-year-old." We can only assume that Steyn feels the same way about George Shultz, William J. Perry, Henry Kissinger and Sam Nunn, who last year issued their own call for "A World Free of Nuclear Weapons." Anyway, then Steyn went on to suggest that a nuclear weapon will be used before Obama's time in office is over: "America is the only country that has used nuclear weapons, by the way, so far -- and those are two important words -- because if we get through Obama's term without somebody else using them, that club could be looking a lot less exclusive by the time we get to the end of the Obama administration."

After a quick break, Steyn brought up yet another story that's moved beyond its point of freshness -- reports from last week that the White House accidentally put the number for a phone-sex line on a press release. Steyn managed to breathe some new life into it though: "[I]t's the rest of the world that is getting nasty and that it would be fine if, like, the -- if the White House is going to give out these phone-sex numbers, if the White House is in the, like, dominatrix role, but, right now, it seems to be the rest of the world getting nasty and we're the ones hanging upside down in the bondage dungeon being flogged and humiliated by the rest of the planet."

Then Steyn took yet another call from a man upset at Obama over North Korea and nuclear weapons. Steyn kept it predictable, ranting a little more about how the Russians and Chinese and Iranians are laughing at Obama, he's projecting weakness, etc. Steyn moved on to another call, this one from a college student claiming that it's always the responsibility of Republican presidents to clean up the foreign policy messes begun by Democrats, and, as a consequence, Republicans end up looking like the "mean" party. While we were double-checking the party affiliations of George W. Bush and Barack Obama vis-à-vis the Iraq war, Steyn pronounced that he liked this caller's thinking, explaining: "OK, we are mean. It's a mean world and, sometimes, you need to be mean there if the alternative is Princess Fluffy Bunny wandering around all over the planet pledging to surrender American nuclear weapons."

After another break, Steyn and a caller had a good laugh over the fact that Obama, at his news conference in Strasbourg, said: "It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian -- wheeling and dealing." There's no such language as Austrian, they clucked. Steyn went on to attack Obama for extolling others to learn to speak a foreign language when he's hasn't done so himself, despite having so many opportunities to do so while attending elite schools. Obama actually has studied foreign languages, though he's not fluent: "Obama picked up Bahasa as a child living in Indonesia and took some Spanish classes in high school and college."

Moving on, Steyn got into an argument with a caller who thought it was "wrong" and "dangerous" for Steyn to say that Obama is getting "rolled" over for the North Korean missile launch. The caller suspected that Steyn would be singing a very different tune if the U.S. had shot down the missile and North Korea invaded South Korea in response. Quite naturally, this devolved into an argument about the invasion of Iraq, with Steyn proclaiming that the reasons we went into Iraq don't matter, it's the result of the invasion that are important. We must say that for someone who appears very concerned about Obama's -- and by extension America's -- credibility on the world stage, Steyn seemed awfully blasé about one of the chief reasons the world casts a wary eye on the U.S. Anyway, Steyn turned all this into an attack on foreign policy "realism," claiming that "serious" national powers "lose credibility" if they allow themselves to be "mocked and nibbled away with impunity." Once again -- invading a country to find non-existent WMDs? Irrelevant. Unchecked mockery and "nibbling"? A serious threat to "credibility."

Steyn closed out the show with a caller who subscribed to Steyn's theory of American Exceptionalism, which boiled down to doing the opposite of what the European Union does. Steyn professed concern because he sees America "embracing" the "death spiral" that is afflicting Canada and Europe, returning to his birth rate argument from earlier in the program.

Well, that's it for us. Rush will be back tomorrow, and we have to say that after three hours of bondage jokes and "Princess Fluffy Bunny," we're actually kind of looking forward to getting back to teleprompter jokes and regular-old "dunce" Obama. And if tomorrow is just too long to wait for your Rush fix, you'd do well to check out Media Matters' highly addictive Limbaugh coverage.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

STEYN: If you were to sit down and design as weak a response to the North Korean test as could be devised, then for the president of the United States to stand up and say he believes in a world without nuclear weapons and that America ought to lead the way because America is the only country that has used nuclear weapons, by the way, so far -- and those are two important words -- because if we get through Obama's term without somebody else using them, that club could be looking a lot less exclusive by the time we get to the end of the Obama administration.

[...]

STEYN: You cannot un-invent nuclear weapons. Instead, what's happened is that anybody who's got the cell phone number of A.Q. Khan in Pakistan and has a few bits and parts that have managed to come his way in the mail from some former Soviet Republic, one of these no-name stans in Central Asia where there's all kinds of bits of Soviet this and Soviet that lying around -- today, anyone can join the nuclear club. You don't have to be a world power.

And so, as I said in the first hour, we're moving into a world, which is absurd on its face, where wealthy nations have no means of defending themselves and basket-case states are going nuclear. And yet, Obama stands up as the world's oldest 13-year-old -- stands up in public and commits himself to a world without nuclear weapons.

[...]

STEYN: Did you see that story the other day? The White House offered this special on-the-record briefing call for journalists with Hillary Rodham Clinton, the secretary of State, and they gave the phone number that you're supposed to call in to have your on-the-record briefing call and, unfortunately, they gave the wrong number out. This is true. They gave the wrong number out, and the gentlemen of the press were greeted by this darkly seductive voice, clearly not Secretary Clinton, offering them phone sex and seeking their credit card if they feel like getting nasty. And of course, you know, the White House subsequently corrected it and gave out the new number.

But the -- but what just strikes you is that right now, it's the rest of the world that is getting nasty and that it would be fine if, like, the -- if the White House is going to give out these phone-sex numbers, if the White House is in the, like, dominatrix role, but, right now, it seems to be the rest of the world getting nasty and we're the ones hanging upside down in the bondage dungeon being flogged and humiliated by the rest of the planet.

[...]

STEYN: If you're designated as the mean, evil party, you might as well run with it. Thanks a lot for your call, Matt, and I wish you well in your studies. And thanks for pointing out to Shahab the many areas in which Shahab might be in for disappointment for the Obama years, but, yeah, that's the thing.

OK, we are mean. It's a mean world and, sometimes, you need to be mean there if the alternative is Princess Fluffy Bunny wandering around all over the planet pledging to surrender American nuclear weapons.