Hour 1: Limbaugh's conspiracy: Grand Unified Theory of Obama Chaos

This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama's policy of anti-Americanism
By Simon Maloy

Good afternoon, everyone. In the wake of yesterday's show, we've been trying to game out scenarios by which the United Auto Workers union could assume control of Goldman Sachs. When no obvious or feasible route presented itself, we realized that we're thinking about it the wrong way. So we decided to view the problem through Rush's eyes, and the answer manifested almost immediately. Step 1: ACORN gets billions more from the federal government. Step 2: ACORN uses that money to send William Ayers to North Korea. Step 3: Something to do with Obama's teleprompter. Step 4: Ron Gettelfinger becomes CEO of Goldman Sachs. It's elegant in its simplicity ...

Rush got things off to a rollicking start today, quoting White House senior adviser David Axelrod saying of the results of Obama's Latin America trip: "I think what has happened is that anti-Americanism isn't cool anymore." Well, Rush was having none of that, saying the truth is "just the opposite," explaining: "Anti-Americanism has never been more cool, especially at the White House, where it is now policy." And just in case you weren't sure as to whether Rush really said that, he added: "Yes, I said that. Anti-Americanism is now policy. It is cool at the White House, where it is policy now."

Rush then offered to explain what he meant by anti-Americanism, noting that Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner testified on Capitol Hill that his primary concern is the health of the financial system as a whole and its ability to extend credit. Rush said there is not credit, and that is by design, because Obama wants to promote "economic uncertainty" and chaos. So now we're back to the Grand Unified Theory of Obama Chaos, part of which, according to Rush, is the "stress tests" for the banks. Rush claimed we never had stress tests before Obama came along, they're his creation and he's using them to gain control of the financial industry. Of course, stress tests for financial systems are nothing new -- the International Monetary Fund released a report in 2004 titled "Stress Testing Financial Systems." Regardless, Rush insisted that they're actually "possess tests," because Obama is going to use them to repossess financial institutions, and government ownership of the financial system is "not American." Rush added: "Anti-Americanism is sprouting up all over the world and it has been for a long time and the only different thing about it today is that we have an American president sympathetic to it, wants to understand it, probably agrees with half of the anti-Americanism out there."

Then Rush expanded on his admittedly "conspiratorial" theory about the stress tests Obama allegedly created -- that they were designed by the administration in such a way that the banks would have to fail them, because that would create a "crisis," and you can't have "change" without a crisis. Rush also alleged that the reason the Obama administration "tip[ped] everyone off" on the Sunday shows that they weren't sure of the results of the stress tests was that they knew that doing so would roil the markets and the public.

After the break, Rush aired audio from yesterday's show in which he said that Obama's call for the Cabinet to cut $100 million in spending was a direct response to the tea parties, and then followed that with a montage of media personalities saying the same thing. This shows, Rush said, that The Rush Limbaugh Show is "show prep" for the rest of the media. Now, see, that's funny, because just last week Rush was blasting the media for intentionally distorting the message of the tea parties. Of course the Cabinet cuts were about the tea parties, said Rush, and the Obama people are scared because they've been going around saying that you can't criticize the president because he is the most popular guy in the world. That's why Michelle Obama did not go to "the Summit of the Americas and show off another new classless wardrobe," said Rush, because "she overwhelmed his popularity in Britain. All the press was about Michelle, the new Jackie O -- Michelle this, Michelle that, Michelle's wardrobe, Michelle here, Michelle -- the friendship with the queen, arm around the queen."

After another break Rush took his first call, this one from a man wondering what America's relationship with Venezuela, North Korea, etc., will look like in a couple of years. Rush responded by airing audio of his appearance on Fox News' On the Record last night, which was essentially a condensation of yesterday's three-hour unhinged rant (Obama has a Messiah complex, he's reckless in meeting with Chavez, blah blah blah). Rush said former Vice President Dick Cheney was right about Obama's handshake with Chavez -- people like Chavez see him as someone who can be "exploited." Rush said Obama made it clear to Chavez et. al. that he has more of a problem with his own country than he does with them, and that now they view the U.S. as "ripe," and see their goal of cutting the U.S. "down to size" as being "easier" now. We have to say that Rush seems to have a very dim view of America's influence -- military, economic, diplomatic, whatever -- if he thinks that a presidential handshake with Hugo Chavez so gravely threatens the security of the country.

One more break and Rush took another caller, who asked about Dick Cheney's intention to have declassified a series of memos showing the effectiveness of harsh interrogation techniques. Rush attacked Obama for only going "halfway" in releasing the torture memos," and claimed that now we're calling everything that causes discomfort "torture." Rush read from former Bush speechwriter Marc Thiessen's op-ed in The Washington Post today on the effectiveness of the harsh interrogation techniques. Rush said Obama knows what he's doing -- he's focusing on the media on the negative aspects of interrogation and focusing negative attention on his own country to advance his "silly theory" that the interrogation techniques created more terrorists.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: David Axelrod, who is the Karl Rove of this administration except that Axelrod is loved and adored by the drive-bys, responding to the somewhat overwrought critique that Obama did not properly stand up to hostile Latin American leaders during a trip to the region this past week, has accused critics -- Axelrod has -- of missing the point. "I think some people misinterpreted what happened this weekend," said Axelrod. "I think the real message of what happened this past weekend with the Cuban regime's response to the president's decision on remittances or the overtures of President Chavez. I think what's happened is that anti-Americanism isn't cool anymore." Good grief. It's just the opposite. Anti-Americanism has never been more cool, especially at the White House, where it is now policy. Yes, I said that. Anti-Americanism is now policy. It is cool at the White House, where it's policy now. Anti-Americanism has never been cooler. Look at the polling data from the left -- or of the left in this country. Look at the smiling faces of Daniel Ortega and Hugo Chavez and all of the other leaders there down at the Summit of the Americas.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: It's clear as a bell to anybody who wants to admit what is happening with all of this. And at the risk of repeating myself here, folks, I think this is -- this is -- look, it dovetails right here with this Axelrod comment that Anti-Americanism is not cool anymore. It's just the exact opposite. I mean, you can say that anti-Americanism is a lot of things, but I'm going to tell you that the government controlling the financial system and owning common stock in banks and the government having voting privileges in private-sector banks -- that's not American as we have understood it. Anti-Americanism is sprouting up all over the world, and it has been for a long time, and the only different thing about it today is that we have an American president sympathetic to it, wants to understand it, probably agrees with half of the anti-Americanism out there, at least judging to his reaction of its expression at the Summit for the Americas.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: They're running around, they're telling everybody, "You don't dare oppose Obama. He's the most popular man in the world. Obama is the most popular man ever. He's the most popular man in the country. He's the most popular man in the world." In fact, did you notice that Michelle did not go to the Summit of the Americas and show off another new classless wardrobe? Why do you think she didn't go, Snerdly? Give me two guesses: Why did Michelle-my-belle Obama not go to the summit of the Americas? And don't tell me she had to tend to the garden in the White House. It is because she overwhelmed his popularity in Britain. All the press was about Michelle, the new Jackie O -- Michelle this, Michelle that, Michelle's wardrobe, Michelle here, Michelle -- the friendship with the queen, arm around the queen. I'll guarantee you this whole image of Obama as the messiah, as the one, is predicated on the fact that nobody's more popular than he is and nobody has ever been more popular.

America's Truth Rejector

Falsely claimed "stress tests" for financial systems were unheard of before Obama.

Echo chamber

Cited former Bush speechwriter Marc Thiessen's April 21 Washington Post column, "The CIA's Questioning Worked."

Clips from this hour

Limbaugh: "[A]ppeasers" have "water[ed] down" definition of torture like "NOW gang" did with definition of domestic violence

Limbaugh claims "Anti-Americanism is now policy" at the White House