Full Frontal’s Samantha Bee Rips Fox Hosts For Criticizing Plan To Put Harriet Tubman On The $20 Bill
Written by Media Matters Staff
Published
From the April 25 edition of TBS' Full Frontal with Samantha Bee:
SAMANTHA BEE (HOST): I'd like to talk a little about money. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's like Venmo for old people. And it looks like those old people will need to get used to some new faces.
[...]
Yes, finally a black woman making a white man move to the back. And once the products of America's school system finished googling “who is Harriet Tubman,” they were all for it.
[...]
Well, uniform acclaim if you don't count the Republicans dismissing the decision as rampant political correctness or the bigots planning to protest by defacing the bills with racist slurs and nooses or the assholes complaining that seeing the un-botoxed face of an American hero as they stuff their wages into a stripper's g-string will instantly melt their tiny, thumb-sized boners. Look, I know that change is difficult. I still haven't gotten over Roseanne replacing the original Becky with Becky with the good hair. When we make such a dramatic change to something no one ever looks at we have to consider the fragile feelings of white men who tragically appear on only seven out of seven bills currently in production. Now, where on earth could I find a white man sharing his feelings?
[START CLIP]
BRIAN KILMEADE: How could you be remaking American history at this rate? It’s incredible.
[END CLIP]
[START CLIP]
KILMEADE: Others feel ousting a past president who’s done so much in the founding of our country is an unbelievable sign of disrespect.
[…]
KILMEADE: I mean, you look at a guy who is a key member of America.
[END CLIP]
BEE: It's true. If you listen closely to “Ventura Highway” or “A Horse With No Name,” you can hear key member Andrew Jackson playing tambourine. But I hate to break it to you sparky, Jackson wasn't involved in the founding of our country, because the Revolutionary War happened before Old Hickory's pubes came in. He was not a founding father. He was a genocidal prick who forced the relocation of non-whites and fomented populist rebellion, kind of like a Trump with better hair. Besides, I don't recall you getting the vapors when Republicans wanted Ronald Reagan to replace Ulysses S. Grant on the 50.
[START CLIP]
KILMEADE: And 50, as in the dollar bill with Ronald Reagan's face on it, instead of Ulysses S. Grant. There are two 20th century Democrats on the current currency. Roosevelt and Kennedy. But no Republicans.
[END CLIP]
BEE: Hey, look, I get it. We all want to jack off to our money, that's why we call it the trickle down economy, but the beauty of America is that a better idea is always right around the corner.
[START CLIP]
BEN CARSON: We can find another way to honor her. Maybe a $2 bill.
[END CLIP]
[START CLIP]
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN: Give Tubman her own bill like a $25 bill.
BEE: Yeah, I need break a 25. Can anybody give me five twos and a fifteen? You know what, you're right, this is so much simpler than just putting a black woman on the fucking twenty. Any other stupid ideas?
Previously:
Fox Host On Putting A Woman On The $20 Bill: “Should We Leave Men Alone?”