The Onion: Glenn Beck A 'Pink-Faced Half-Wit'

You have to love The Onion, the parody news outlet sometimes nails it on the head better than the mainstream media.

A piece out Monday, titled “Nation Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit” does a great job on Glenn Beck, with the newspaper's usual close-to-reality approach.

The item, which never mentions Beck by name but offers a photo, states in part:

Following an Aug. 28 rally in Washington, D.C. attended by an estimated 87,000 Americans, experts confirmed this week that the U.S. populace appears to have fallen under the spell of yet another pink-faced half-wit.

The most recent pink-faced halfwit has reportedly captured the popular imagination through the conventional vehicles of a nationally syndicated talk-radio program and a cable news television show. According to media analyst Rebecca Ellington, the pink-faced half-wit has mesmerized the nation by spewing out hundreds of predictably reactionary and emotionally manipulative on-air diatribes.

“This particular pink-faced half-wit is at the height of his persuasive powers,” Ellington said of the bloated, hateful multimillionaire. “By exploiting citizens' greatest anxieties during an uncertain time in our nation's history, the pink-faced half-wit has been able to promote his own vain, avaricious self-interests under the guise of standing up for the very disenfranchised people whom he himself is fleecing.”

“I've seen a number of pink-faced half-wits during my career, and in the pantheon of bombastic demagogues, this one will surely be remembered as one of the most disgusting,” Ellington continued. “It's truly extraordinary: He may well be too ambitious and narcissistic to be able to comprehend how much damage he is doing to our country.”

It later notes:

Dr. David Snider, a media historian and author of the book Frothing, Shouting Dim-Bulbs: An American Tradition, said that the current porcine loudmouth is the latest in a long line of pink-faced half-wits that began in the 1930s with the incendiary radio broadcasts of Father Charles Coughlin, a pink-faced half-wit Roman Catholic priest.

According to Snider, this original pink-faced half-wit exploited the Great Depression to foment his message of virulent anti-Semitism--a tactic of shamelessly preying upon American misery and misfortune that has since been employed by nearly every pink-faced, intellectually corrupt piece of shit asshole to open his fat, disgusting pig mouth since.