BECK: OK. Stop for a second. I just want to make sure -- the school's Hispanic kids will bring -- quoting -- “their Mexican flag,” and then the American kids will bring their American flag.

I'm sorry, what? Hm? What is -- I'm sorry, I didn't -- I'm trying to understand this.

PAT GRAY: This is what you deal with in the border states. This is it.

STU BURGUIERE: They're not all Americans? I thought they'd all want to bring the --

GRAY: This is what -- I mean --

BECK: No, no. They're just good families trying to make ends meet and coming to the country, but they're bringing their own Mexican flag.

So in other words, what you're saying is, they're here, they're sitting at the table, in our house. And let's just paint this scenario here.

It's Thanksgiving, and some uninvited people -- they're not your family -- they just crawl through the window of your house. And then they're sitting at the table. Somehow or another, your family has gone --

GRAY: Well, you left the window open.

BECK: I know.

GRAY: They might as well come in.

BECK: Your family has gone insane, and whoever is in charge of the family has convinced everybody, “You know what? This is their table and their house and their food, too.”

And everybody's looking at each other going, “What the -- we don't even know these people. Who are they?”

“They are just good people.”

“Good people? They could have knocked at the door. They came in last night. We found them sleeping in our basement, going through our stuff.”

GRAY: Yeah, but you left your window open, so they have every right. And they smelled the food.

BECK: Right. OK. So now they're sitting at the -- let's just get to the table. Just try to get through the insanity that is this scenario where everybody is, like -- I don't even know. At least the parents and the grandparents are like, “Yeah, this is totally cool.” And all of us kids are sitting around going, “This is nuts.”

But they're at the table now. And now they start saying, “Your food sucks. Our food's much better. Your house is a piece of crap. You know what you have? You saw that doormat out front? It says 'Beck' on it? That is the most hateful thing I have ever seen.”

“It's a doormat that says my name. How did you even see it? You came through the basement window.”

“I'm offended by that doormat. I'm putting mine down. Mine says 'Rosencrantz.' ”

And they take your doormat, and your parents say, “Just take the doormat. We don't want to have any fights here. Just take the doormat, and put the doormat away, and just go ahead and put the 'Rosencrantz' doormat.”

How long before the Rosencrantzes just claim this is their home? I've got the damn doormat.

Don't you see? Is it just me? Is it just me on this one?