By Greg Lewis

Elaborating on his statement earlier this morning to the news that Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, Rush Limbaugh wasted no time when his show began today, declaring that there weren't words for this. Rush said that Obama's head must be growing so fast that his ears actually fit.

Then Rush announced a “shocking” announcement from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell: the NFL has named the Kansas City Chiefs the winner of this year's Super Bowl for their good intentions at rebuilding their franchise. (See what he did there?)

Anyway, Rush stepped away from his harmless analogies to get back to his heated rhetoric:

LIMBAUGH: Folks, I think the people who used to run the election board for Saddam Hussein's government were hired by the Nobel committee here to tally the votes.

He added:

LIMBAUGH: He's not only the first post-racial president, he's also the nation's first post-accomplishment president. He has risen above incompetence. He's now judged on wishful thinking.

Then Rush insisted that George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan were more deserving of the prize:

LIMBAUGH: You see a pattern here, folks? Liberal sellouts. Liberal sellouts get this prize. George Bush liberates 50 million Muslims. Ronald Reagan liberates hundreds of millions of Europeans, saves parts of Latin America. Any awards? No, just derision. Obama gives speeches trashing his own country, and he gets a prize for it.

Rush went on to interpret the meaning of the Nobel Prize committee's decision:

LIMBAUGH: The Nobel Peace Prize just told Obama, “Look, we love what you're doing. You are destroying your country as a superpower. Keep it up, bud. This is what we expected, and you're doing a damn good job.” Those are accomplishments, folks, and in the eyes of the Nobel Peace Prize committee, these are the accomplishments they're looking for.

He's basically emasculating this country, and they applauded today with this award. They love a weakened, neutered United States. This is their way of promoting the concept, and it's a slam-dunk.

Then Rush aired a few sound bites from Obama's remarks this morning on winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Rush read a quote from Obama's uncle in Kenya responding to the news, joking about how his “hut village” only has one phone.

Rush: “The Nobel committee today just suicide-bombed itself”

After the break, Rush made this, uh, inflammatory remark:

LIMBAUGH: My friends, look at the bright side here. The Nobel committee today just suicide-bombed itself. They destroyed themselves far more than we ever could with this -- with this award.

Then Rush went on for a few minutes about an interview he did for NBC's The Today Show which will air next week. Following the next commercial break, Rush was back to the big news of the day. First, he aired a new Shanklin “comedy” skit featured Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and George W. Bush leaving messages on Obama's answering machine reacting to his Peace Prize win.

Staying on this theme, Rush said that our president has become a laughingstock and that everybody in the world is laughing at him. Rush went on to say he was nominated “last year” for the prize -- the year Gore won (which was in 2007). Anyway, Rush said that Obama lives in a cocoon in the White House with Rahm Emmanuel and Robert Gibbs, while outside the Oval Office, everybody is laughing at the guy.

Then Rush hit on this line from Obama's speech this morning:

OBAMA: To be honest, I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who've been honored by this prize.

Rush said Obama does feel deserving to be in the company of past winners like Yasser Arafat. Next, Rush took a caller who said Obama was a “jackass” for accepting the Prize, which inspired Rush to read the reaction to the award written by Commentary's John Podhoretz. (We'll spare you.)

Rush: “Everybody in the world is laughing at our little president, peace be upon him.”

After another break, Rush stated that he didn't believe Obama was “humbled” by the award as he claimed in his speech. Rush added that Obama's statement that he does not feel he “deserve[s]” the away means that he is “agreeing with the Taliban and us.” Rush took this opportunity to launch himself into another rant on the subject:

LIMBAUGH: Barack Hussein Obama mmm mmm mmm, peace be upon him. We have a swine flu epidemic -- at least the drive-bys tell us we do. We're bombing the hell out of the moon. The U.S. dollar is worth nothing. Unemployment skyrocketing, now near 10 percent. We're in debt; our dollar is worthless. Taxes are going up everywhere. They're about to let Obama become our universal doctor, banker, and employer. Some of our kids are dying in foreign countries while Obama goes out for ice cream. Our other kids are killing each other in the streets because they have no education and no hope for a future other than killing each other in the street. We are about to move worldwide progress back to the cave era with the crap-and-tax plan. The whole world would like to put a nuclear missile up our rectum and apparently getting means to do so. And this guy goes out and wins the peace prize! Peace be upon him. It's just a joke. It is a joke. Everybody in the world is laughing at our little president, peace be upon him.

By the way, “Peace be upon him” is how Muslims refer to the great prophets. We just wanted to put that out there.

Rush concluded the hour with another caller who was (surprise!) unhappy about the Nobel Committee's decision. Rush repeated his assertion that the Committee “threw a hand grenade” right in the middle of our politics and put a straightjacket on Obama. He also repeated that the intent of the Committee was to neuter the United States.

Limbaugh: “We all agree with the Taliban and Iran” that Obama does not deserve Nobel

Hour two began with more rambling about the Nobel Peace Prize. Rush aired an audio clip of Robert Gibbs responding to CBS correspondent Chip Reid about whether awarding the Prize to Obama would further divide America. Rush claimed that there is “not” a partisan divide “now” because Republicans can't stop anything. Rush added that Gibbs doesn't get that everybody is laughing at Obama:

LIMBAUGH: I think that everybody is laughing. Our president is a worldwide joke. Folks, do you realize something has happened here that we all agree with the Taliban and Iran about, and that is he doesn't deserve the award. Now that's hilarious, that I'm on the same side of something with the Taliban, and that we all are on the same side as the Taliban.

Rush went on to say that the intent of awarding the Prize to Obama is to make him a “puppet” of the United Nations and thereby motivating him to keep trying to “destroy” the United States. Rush also said the country is “polarized,” but we have a few moments of unity as everybody in the country laughs about this. (Didn't Rush just claim that there is not a partisan divide right now?)

Then it was time for Rush to address the recent back-and-forth between himself and the Morning Joe crew. First, Rush aired a clip of Chuck Todd suggesting that Rush broadcasts his show out of his house. Rush refuted this notion. Then Rush moved on to Joe Scarborough, saying that Joe has been on his case for laughing at Obama's “Olympic bomb.”

Rush launched into a rant about moderates and the way people like Scarborough say Rush's comments hurt the Republican Party. Then Rush aired the clip of Scarborough firing back at him today, in which Joe said Rush put his “testicles in a blind trust” for Bush. Rush responded:

LIMBAUGH: As far as -- what's the -- testicles in a -- see, he's even stealing that. I invented the testicle lockbox --the testicle lockbox, and it's Hillary Clinton's. If anybody's got a testicle lockbox, it's Hillary. Tom Brokaw's testicles are in there, Scarborough's are in there, and a whole bunch of other guys at NBC's testicles are in Hillary Clinton's lockbox, her testicle lockbox.

Rush also denied the charge that he “stopped being a conservative” for Bush, noting he opposed him on numerous issues during his term.

After the break, Rush announced that Obama was just crowned by the Pope as the Holy Roman Emperor, and was also announced the winner of the 2000 Florida recount. Rush also said Obama was just awarded an Oscar for the best child playing a man's role.

The next caller on the program asked Rush if he would be judging at next year's Miss America pageant -- indeed he would, Rush answered. Rush explained that he was irked to find out after he accepted the invitation that the pageant's winner would participate in a “Go Green” campaign. The next caller repeated all of Rush's points back to him as to why Obama wasn't qualified for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Rush responds to Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco sports columnist Rob Parker

On the other side of the commercial break, Rush aired an audio clip of Cincinnati Bengals star wide receiver Chad Ochocinco sports columnist Rob Parker talking about the possibility of Rush becoming an owner of the Rams (Rush initially attributed this to Ochocinco, but was later corrected by a caller). Parker thought it was a “bad idea” because Rush is very public in his politics, and said that as a listener of the show, he thought Rush had very little regard for black people. Rush said that this was “highly disappointing” because if Parker listened to his show, there's no way he would think that. Rush explained that he had the highest praise and admiration for players in the NFL, including Ochocinco.

Anyway, the next caller got Rush going on the swine flu again. Rush again falsely claimed that Kathleen Sebelius said “You must take” the H1N1 vaccine:

LIMBAUGH: The story yesterday was “Sebelius: You must take it.” And that is what I was reacting to. I am not anti-vaccine. I am not anti-good health. I'm simply -- I am standing up for freedom and liberty, and I am not one of these people that thinks people from the government are infallible, that they never make mistakes, and all they ever want to do is help us and protect us. What they really are are people who think we are incapable of taking care of ourselves, little nannies who want to control every aspect of all of our lives, and I'm not in that game.

The final hour of the week began with Rush changing gears to talk about health care and the H1N1 vaccine. First, he talked about Harry Reid's supposed strategy of passing health care reform as an amendment of a less controversial bill. If they don't do that, explained Rush, they'll go for reconciliation, but then Republicans will start “attaching amendments like crazy” to just “blow it up.”

“Operation Chaos” instigator Rush downplays his power and influence over his audience

The Rush aired audio of a CNN report on Rush saying “Screw you” to Kathleen Sebelius earlier in the week about being forced to take the H1N1 vaccine. The clip featured Sebelius explaining that the vaccine was voluntary. Rush claimed that this would mean he would be blamed for people not getting the vaccine.

Elaborating on this, Rush Limbaugh, who once commanded his audience to vote for Hillary Clinton in the 2008 Democratic primaries as a part of “Operation Chaos,” played down the notion that he has power over his audience. He said that he would not tell his audience what they should do concerning the H1N1 vaccine because he does not condescend or look down on them.

After the break, Rush read an article about “noted geologist” and diet cookbook author H. Leighton Steward is working on Capitol Hill to convince lawmakers that carbon dioxide does not cause global warming. Given his usual embrace of global warming skeptics, Rush ran with this, asserting that global warming was a hoax, and that politicians know this. Rush went on to explain that cap and trade is one of several ways in which Obama is trying to purposefully ruin the economy.

Rush followed this up with an article about Smart Meters over at MSNBC. After warning about authoritarian statists controlling your energy usage, Rush falsely claimed cap and trade would raise your energy bill by $2,000 a year.

After the next break, Rush talked more about the Nobel Peace Prize and how Obama is being manipulated by the word's elitists awarding it to him. Then Rush read from Kim Strassel's latest Wall Street Journal column about the Baucus health care bill.

Closing out the show, Rush took a caller who corrected him about the aforementioned Rob Parker sound bite that Rush had incorrectly attributed to Chad Ochocinco. Rush said the fact that it was Parker, a sports writer, changes everything because sports writers are the most liberal wusses in all of the media.

Zachary Aronow and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Folks, I think the people who used to run the election board for Saddam Hussein's government were hired by the Nobel committee here to tally the votes. And Reuters went out there, asked the Taliban and Hamas what they think of Obama getting the peace prize. [laughing] I don't believe this! He's not only the first post-racial president, he's also the nation's first post-accomplishment president. He has risen above incompetence. He's now judged on wishful thinking.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The Nobel Peace Prize just told Obama, “Look, we love what you're doing. You are destroying your country as a superpower. Keep it up, bud. This is what we expected, and you're doing a damn good job.” Those are accomplishments, folks, and in the eyes of the Nobel Peace Prize committee, these are the accomplishments they're looking for.

He's basically emasculating this country, and they applauded today with this award. They love a weakened, neutered United States. This is their way of promoting the concept, and it's a slam-dunk.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: You see a pattern here, folks? Liberal sellouts. Liberal sellouts get this prize. George Bush liberates 50 million Muslims. Ronald Reagan liberates hundreds of millions of Europeans, saves parts of Latin America. Any awards? No, just derision. Obama gives speeches trashing his own country, and he gets a prize for it.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: My friends, look at the bright side here. The Nobel committee today just suicide-bombed itself. They destroyed themselves far more than we ever could with this -- with this award.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Barack Hussein Obama mmm mmm mmm, peace be upon him. We have a swine flu epidemic -- at least the drive-bys tell us we do. We're bombing the hell out of the moon. The U.S. dollar is worth nothing. Unemployment skyrocketing, now near 10 percent. We're in debt; our dollar is worthless. Taxes are going up everywhere. They're about to let Obama become our universal doctor, banker, and employer. Some of our kids are dying in foreign countries while Obama goes out for ice cream. Our other kids are killing each other in the streets because they have no education and no hope for a future other than killing each other in the street. We are about to move worldwide progress back to the cave era with the crap-and-tax plan. The whole world would like to put a nuclear missile up our rectum and apparently getting means to do so. And this guy goes out and wins the peace prize! Peace be upon him. It's just a joke. It is a joke. Everybody in the world is laughing at our little president, peace be upon him.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I think that everybody is laughing. Our president is a worldwide joke. Folks, do you realize something has happened here that we all agree with the Taliban and Iran about, and that is he doesn't deserve the award. Now that's hilarious, that I'm on the same side of something with the Taliban, and that we all are on the same side as the Taliban.

America's Truth Rejector

LIMBAUGH: The story yesterday was “Sebelius: You must take it.” And that is what I was reacting to. I am not anti-vaccine. I am not anti-good health. I'm simply -- I am standing up for freedom and liberty, and I am not one of these people that thinks people from the government are infallible, that they never make mistakes, and all they ever want to do is help us and protect us. What they really are are people who think we are incapable of taking care of ourselves, little nannies who want to control every aspect of all of our lives, and I'm not in that game.

Ladies' man

LIMBAUGH: As far as -- what's the -- testicles in a -- see, he's even stealing that. I invented the testicle lockbox --the testicle lockbox, and it's Hillary Clinton's. If anybody's got a testicle lockbox, it's Hillary. Tom Brokaw's testicles are in there, Scarborough's are in there, and a whole bunch of other guys at NBC's testicles are in Hillary Clinton's lockbox, her testicle lockbox.