This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by promises, invented and broken
By Simon Maloy
Well, it's the final hour. Our corned beef is long since gone and our whisky supply is exhausted, but we'll soldier on.
Rush kicked off the third hour by bragging that The Sullivan Group, which allegedly performs private analysis of Rush's show for the EIB network, has found, according to the latest figures, that Rush is accurate 98 percent of the time. We'd like to get a look at their methodology, mainly to figure out if it actually involves listening to Rush Limbaugh's show.
From there El Rushbo went on an extended rant about how much he dislikes hybrid vehicles. According to Rush, the people who buy hybrids are “kook oddballs, who are going to want to drive these things around 'cause they're symbols.” Far be it from us to stoke any fires or spark any rifts here, but Sean Hannity drives an Escalade Hybrid, and he “love[s] it.”
Then the show... well... remember the bestiality discussion from the first hour? He kinda took us down a similar road, as Rush spent a great deal of time expounding on this Los Angeles Times article, detailing the complaints from singer/songwriter Bob Dylan's Malibu neighbors regarding the odor from “a portable toilet on Dylan's property.” Before ranting on this, Rush announced that he could have written “Knocking on Heaven's Door,” which he redubbed “Knocking on a Toilet Door” for the purposes of the discussion. Come on, Rush. Bestiality? Portable toilets? How many of these roads must we walk down?
Rush took a call on the other side of the break from a man who was curious when Obama would make good on his campaign promise that no one over 65 would pay income taxes. Rush said he didn't remember that promise, but suggested that perhaps the caller was confusing “65” with the 95 percent of Americans who, according to Obama, won't see their taxes go up. The reason Rush couldn't remember that campaign promise from Obama is that he never made it. Obama said he would eliminate income taxes for seniors making less than $50,000. However, Rush has a habit of inventing campaign promises from Obama, so we wouldn't be surprised if he started attacking the president for failing to follow through on this one within a week's time.
Rush went on to another caller, this one a self-proclaimed liberal, capitalist, and small business owner. Rush says: “You have to hate yourself then,” explaining: “Well, because liberals hate small business. They hate capitalism.” After an extended argument over Rush's policy towards liberal callers, the woman requested to be put back on hold, and Rush promised -- PROMISED -- that he'd get back to her.
Another break, then Rush and a caller discussed mark-to-market accounting and how its abolition would immediately spark an economic recovery. There are differing schools of thought on the subject, and more than a few economists seem to think it's a bad idea. Rush himself noted that the Enron scandal was made possible by the lack of mark-to-market restrictions, but that didn't deter his faith in the investor class.
Another break and another caller, who asks Rush about the stimulus and special education teachers. Rush said the stimulus bill would not result in the hiring of more teachers, and that it would be easier to indoctrinate students with textbooks anyway.
Rush wrapped up the show with an apology to his liberal caller who asked to be put on hold, saying that he ran out of time. Now there's a broken promise...
Highlights from Hour 3
Outrageous comments
LIMBAUGH: So another totally wrong business decision forced by government to make a bunch of cars that the majority of Americans do not want. The proof is on dealership showrooms and lots. It's gotten so bad that auto dealerships and manufacturers are now suggesting we need to raise taxes on gasoline in order to sell their products -- how asinine. Everything is upside down here. I am just stunned.
The American people don't want these cars. I mean, you've got a few who do -- I mean, in a population as large and diverse as ours. Statistically, you're going to have some kook oddballs, who are going to want to drive these things around 'cause they're symbols: “Look at me, I care more about the environment 'cause I'm driving this little puddle jumper around here. It's a hybrid. I'm better than you.”
[...]
CALLER: I'm from Savannah, Georgia, and --
LIMBAUGH: Well, that's a huge capitalist town. You know, they make Gulfstream jets there.
CALLER: Well, you know what? Wonderful.
LIMBAUGH: Well, it is.
CALLER: I love capitalism --
LIMBAUGH: It is wonderful.
CALLER: I love --
LIMBAUGH: It's very --
CALLER: -- capitalism and I'm a capitalist. I am a small business owner. So, do you --
LIMBAUGH: Well, then, how can you be liberal?
CALLER: How can I?
LIMBAUGH: You have to hate yourself then. If you're a capitalist and a small business owner, you have to hate yourself.
CALLER: No. Why would I hate myself? I hired 32 people.
LIMBAUGH: Well, because liberals hate small business. They hate capitalism.
CALLER: No, they don't. No, but --
LIMBAUGH: They're responsible for all the --
CALLER: -- that's why I call.
LIMBAUGH: -- injustice, and inequity --
CALLER: Thank you.
LIMBAUGH: -- and so --
CALLER: That's why I call.
LIMBAUGH: OK. OK. I've got to take a --
CALLER: To find out --
LIMBAUGH: Hold -- hold -- hold -- hold on.
CALLER: To find out if you --
LIMBAUGH: Just please, please hold on. We'll come back after the commercial time out. Don't go away.