JON STEWART: Well, the convention’s over. I thought Donald Trump was going to speak. Ivanka said that he was going to come out. She said he was really compassionate and generous, but then this angry groundhog came out and he just vomited on everybody for an hour. But the Republicans appear to have a very clear plan for America, and they’ve articulated it throughout the convention. One, jail your political opponent. Two, inject Rudy Giuliani with a speedball and Red Bull enema. And then, three, spend the rest of the time scaring the holy bejeezus out of everybody. But I’m not interested in that. I’m actually interested in gymnastics. With the Rio Olympics coming up, I’m enjoying the gymnastics portion of the program that’s about to occur. That would be the contortions that many conservatives will now have to do, to embrace Donald J. Trump, a man who clearly embodies the things that they have, for years, said that they have hated about Barack Obama.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

FRED THOMPSON: The most inexperienced nominee to ever run for president.

BILL O'REILLY: One of the most divisive presidents in history.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE: Notoriously thin-skinned.

LOU DOBBS: Straight-forwardly authoritarian.

PAT CADDELL: He's a raging narcissist who has no grip on reality.

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: “A thin-skinned narcissist with no government experience.” Yes. That sounds exactly like -- Barack Obama. So now the right-wing media’s going to have to spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week, justifying this choice they’ve made. Can they make the turn? They already are. Let’s trace their journey through the eyes of one of their most talented gymnasts. Um, uh, his name escapes me. Let’s just refer to him as Lumpy. Hey, Lumpy. For instance, here’s how Lumpy felt about Barack Obama’s divisiveness.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

SEAN HANNITY: This president is the most divisive president in history. Scare tactics, class warfare. Racial rhetoric. Divided along racial lines, rich versus poor, black versus white, old versus young.

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: Cats versus dogs. Batman versus Superman. That one against the other two. I’ve been out of the business a while, I don’t know what that is actually. If you don’t like divisiveness, what about when Trump suggested Mexico is sending us their rapists? If you don't like divisive rhetoric.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

HANNITY: Perhaps inarticulate but he did said, “You know, some people are good people.” He didn't say “all Mexicans.”

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: You're right. On Cinco de Mayo, we had the Trump Tower taco bowl, and that’s one of the healing-est meals on the Trump Tower menu. I’m not an expert on racial unity. But I do believe that some of our more vaunted historical leaders in that area did retweet white supremacists less than Trump. So I believe -- I’m just saying. Then there was the Obama crony that Lumpy couldn’t stand. His old friend, Teleprompty.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

HANNITY: President Obama, he can't read a sentence without a teleprompter. He sleeps with the darn thing.

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: “He probably sleeps with the darn thing and then probably doesn’t call it the next day because it didn’t say so on the teleprompter.” Lumpy, your 180, please.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

HANNITY: We've seen [Trump] now give a series of policy speeches using a teleprompter, staying on message. Really well done for somebody who had never done it before.

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: You hate teleprompters. You’re saying now, “Teleprompters are for stupid people, and I thought Trump handled it pretty good.” OK, inexperience aside. Divisiveness aside. The worst thing about Barack Obama is his elitism.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

HANNITY: Barack Obama is anything but mainstream. Sitting in his million dollar home, claiming to be for the people, we have to wonder how in touch he is with the average American. Take a look at him ordering his burger with a very special condiment. Dijon mustard? I hope you enjoyed that fancy burger, Mr. President.

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: “Yeah, you elitist. You probably eat that burger with your mouth. Instead of acting like a real American and having a Magnum fire it up your ass. Like they serve them at Arby’s.” That’s how they serve them, actually, at Arby’s. They shoot them right up your ass. Meanwhile, here’s how Lumpy feels about the guy who sits in a literal golden throne at the top of a golden tower with his name in gold letters at the top of it, eating pizza with a knife and fork. How do you feel about that guy?

[BEGIN VIDEO]

HANNITY: I thought one of the more fascinating descriptions of your dad came from you. You once called him on my show a “blue-collar billionaire.”

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: That’s not a thing. You know what? It is true, Trump does seem like the kind of guy you want sit down and own a fleet of airplanes with. Look, all that stuff is actually superficial and I’m sure it’s easy for people without ethics or principles to embrace someone who embodies everything that they said they hated about the previous president for the past eight years. Because, really for a president, it’s about what’s inside. And that’s where Lumpy and friends -- that’s where they really have found the president lacking.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

HANNITY: Who sits in the pews of Jeremiah “G-D” America and “America's chickens have come home to roost” after 9/11? Is that a Christian church to you? He says he's a Christian. I'm a Christian, I wouldn't go to Reverend Wright's church.

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: “Obama would. He’s the type of Christian that’s, you know, not Christian.” Well know what though? When the Pope said that Trump’s talk about immigration was not Christian, surely that gave Lumpy pause.

[BEGIN VIDEO]

HANNITY: Who is the Pope to say that Donald Trump's not a Christian? How can a Pope or anybody decide if somebody's a Christian in their heart?

[END VIDEO]

STEWART: “Yeah. Who died and made that guy Pope?” So let’s just say, for real, here’s where we are. Either Lumpy and his friends are lying about being bothered by thin-skinned, authoritarian, less-than-Christian readers-of-prompter being president. Or they don’t care, as long as it’s their thin-skinned prompter-authoritarian-tyrant-narcissist. You just want that person to give you your country back. Because you feel that you’re this country’s rightful owners. There’s only one problem with that. This country isn’t yours. You don’t own it. It never was. There is no real America. You don’t own it. You don’t own patriotism. You don’t own Christianity. You sure as hell don’t own respect for the bravery and sacrifice of military, police and firefighters.

[...]

So, Lumpy, you and your friends have embraced Donald Trump. Clearly, the “c” next to your names don’t stand for “constitutional” or “conservative.” But “cravenly,” “convenient,” --

Previously:

CNN’s Dylan Byers Highlights Sean Hannity’s “Unapologetic Advocacy” For Donald Trump

A Guide To Hannity's Desperate Defenses Of Trump

The Curtain Rises On The Fox-Manufactured Republican National Convention