Colbert lampooned conservatives who equated Ahmadinejad letter with Democratic-progressive talking points

››› ››› RAPHAEL SCHWEBER-KOREN

Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert mocked various conservative media figures for recent outrageous statements, all of which had been noted by Media Matters for America.

On the May 15 edition of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, host Stephen Colbert mocked various conservative media figures for recent outrageous statements, all of which had been noted by Media Matters for America. Specifically, he targeted conservatives who equated Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's recent letter to President Bush with the positions of Democrats and progressives, and replayed Fox News host John Gibson's call for non-Hispanic Americans to "make more babies," in which Gibson claimed that Hispanics are on track to become the majority in 25 years.

Colbert targeted Gibson, Weekly Standard executive editor Fred Barnes, Wall Street Journal deputy editorial page editor Daniel Henninger, and nationally syndicated radio host Rush Limbaugh for equating Ahmadinejad's letter with the positions of Democrats and progressives. Colbert first mockingly "agree[d]" with the conservative commentators that Ahmadinejad's "letter sound[ed] like it was written by [Democratic National Committee chairman] Howard Dean, proofread by [House Democratic Leader] Nancy Pelosi [CA], spell-checked by [actor and radio host] Janeane Garofalo, and then stuffed into an envelope by [actor] Alec Baldwin." Colbert then stated, "Democrats, when are you going to learn that when an evil dictator like Achmen-inin-Michael-Moore-ijad starts using your talking points, you've got to disagree with them. If he says there is too great a gap between rich and poor, you say there is not enough of a gap. If he says there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, you point out that sand is a weapon of mass destruction when used properly. You could sort of toss it in someone's eyes during a knife fight."

He then underlined the absurdity of the comparison:

COLBERT: You see, if someone is sufficiently evil, everything about them and what they believe is wrong, whether or not it's right. That's why I'm not a vegetarian. Because Hitler was a vegetarian -- and I'm sorry, I'm not a fan of Hitler. I know that's going to disappoint a lot of Democrats. And for that matter, you know what, speaking of Mother's Day, why are we celebrating mothers at all? Because it just occurred to me: Stalin had a mother. Shame on you, mommies.

Later in the show, Colbert played Gibson's May 11 call for Americans to "[d]o your duty" and "[m]ake more babies," as well as Gibson's apparent rationale: "Half of the kids in this country under five years old are minorities. By far, the greatest number are Hispanic. Know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic." Colbert then commented, "All you need to know: John Gibson is ready and willing."

From the May 15 edition of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report:

COLBERT: Anyway, I didn't have anything to do, so I wound up reading the 17-page letter Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wrote to President Bush. I know what you are thinking, yes, reading other people's mail is a federal crime, especially when it is reprinted in the liberal press, but something changed my mind. This trenchant analysis of the letter by John Gibson of Fox News. Take a look.

GIBSON [video clip]: That nutjob running Iran, President -- let's see if I can pronounce it -- Ahmadinejad, sent President Bush a letter, and if it weren't postmarked Tehran, it may have been mistaken for a crank letter from an angry leftist in L.A. or Boulder [Colorado] or Cambridge, Massachusetts. WMD lie, says the Iranian president: Democrat talking point. Human rights abuses in Gitmo: another Democrat talking point. The gap between haves and have-nots: the Iranian president and the Dems in lockstep on that one too.

COLBERT: I couldn't agree more. That letter sounds like it was written by Howard Dean, proofread by Nancy Pelosi, spell-checked by Janeane Garofalo, and then stuffed into an envelope by Alec Baldwin. Oh, and a quick apology to my viewers. Earlier, when I mentioned the Iranian president, I neglected to note the difficulty of pronouncing his name. I assure you, I will not pronounce it correctly again. Anyway, John Gibson and I aren't the only ones who noticed how much the Democrats sound like president -- oh boy, let's see if I can get this right -- Achmen-in-nin-nin-jihad. It's tough. Fred Barnes of the Weekly Standard pointed it out. So did Daniel Henninger over at the Wall Street Journal and, of course, Rush Limbaugh. Man, that guy is back at the top of his game now that he is off the goofballs.

And I got to tell you, when I read President -- oh, Lord help me, help me get my mouth around this crazy name -- Aman-olly-olly-oxen-free-ninijad-iad -- something like that. When I read the letter myself, I found even more Democratic talking points. Listen to this: "All governments have a duty to protect the lives, properties, and good standing of their citizens." Democratic talking point. "We also believe that Jesus Christ, praise be upon him, was one of the great prophets of the almighty." Democratic talking point. "The killing of innocents is deplorable and appalling in any part of the world." Democratic talking point.

Democrats, when are you going to learn that when an evil dictator like Achmen-inin-Michael-Mooreijad starts using your talking points, you've got to disagree with them? If he says there is too great a gap between rich and poor, you say there's not enough of a gap. If he says there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, you point out that sand is a weapon of mass destruction when used properly. You could sort of toss it in someone's eyes during a knife fight. Works.

You see, if someone is sufficiently evil, everything about them and what they believe is wrong, whether or not it's right. That's why I'm not a vegetarian. Because Hitler was a vegetarian -- and I'm sorry, I'm not a fan of Hitler. I know that's going to disappoint a lot of Democrats. And for that matter, you know what, speaking of Mother's Day, why are we celebrating mothers at all? Because it just occurred to me: Stalin had a mother. Shame on you, mommies.

[...]

COLBERT: And finally, on the May 11th edition of Fox News' The Big Story with John Gibson, host John Gibson said this:

GIBSON [video clip]: Do your duty. Make more babies. ... Half of the kids in this country under five years old are minorities. By far, the greatest number are Hispanic. Know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic. ... Put it bluntly, we need more babies.

COLBERT: All you need to know: John Gibson is ready and willing. We'll be right back.

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