This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the Obama Youth Movement
By Simon Maloy

Happy tax day, everyone. We're doing the Limbaugh Wire remotely today from the “tea party” that we infiltrated on behalf of ACORN. Our job is to surreptitiously stir up some trouble for the cameras, so let's take a look at our espionage kit: an inflammatory “Obama is a below average badmintoner” sign, several copies of Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead that we can throw at Griff Jenkins, and cyanide capsules in case we are caught. We had originally intended to bring a gas can filled with water and pretend to set people on fire, but that seems so passé these days.

Rush kicked off the program with back-to-back-to-back parodies, the first, a tax day “message” from President Obama in which he says our tax dollars are rebuilding the country by boosting the Democratic Party's infrastructure. The second was a reprise of “Obama” singing “I'll be Taxing You.” Those two were relatively anodyne, but the third one caught our attention. Continuing the high-volume freak-out from yesterday over the Department of Homeland Security report on “rightwing extremism” -- white supremacists and militia groups, not ordinary conservatives -- Rush aired a message from “Obama,” in which he urged the nation's children to turn in their conservative parents to the authorities and "[j]oin the Obama Youth Movement." The parody continued: “Be the first in your neighborhood to turn in your mom, your dad, your little sister, and proudly wear a brown shirt. So be on the lookout for any subversive activity and remember the watch word: Heil hope.”

Rush then declared that it's difficult to recall a period in American history in which liberals have dumped so much hate on an “embryonic” movement -- the tea parties. According to Rush, liberals, who are supposed to love the common man and look out for the little guy, are using “every weapon at their command” to “mock, smear, and trash” the tea parties, which are “real democracy.” When “real people” come together expressing their “fears” about where the country is headed, that is “not to be tolerated” by the left, said Rush.

Rush then encouraged the tea partiers to “have at it,” because ACORN and the Obama-ites are out there “maybe” trying to create racism and chaos at the tea parties to make them look bad. "[M]aybe"? There's no “maybe” about it! On that topic, excuse us for a second, we just saw Griff Jenkins... Damn, missed him. Anyway, Rush aired audio of Think Progress' Faiz Shakir on C-SPAN's Washington Journal saying that the tea parties are the “fruition” of Limbaugh's desire to see Obama fail. Rush says “of course” the tea partiers want Obama to fail! Obama wants an entirely new foundation for the economy, even though, says Rush, we already have a foundation -- the Constitution. Then he attacked NBC's Chuck Todd for saying on Today this morning that the GOP hasn't really been able to capitalize politically on the tea parties. Rush rejoined by saying the tea parties have “nothing to do” with the Republicans, the protesters are seeking new leadership because the GOP is “hibernating.” This is untrue -- several Republican members of Congress and governors are speaking at tea parties today.

After the break, Rush noted that we have “peace breaking out” in the Gulf of Aden after pirates vowed to hunt down and kill Americans after, in Rush's words, three black teenagers were shot down by Obama on Sunday. Then Rush seized on a report from The Wall Street Journal that "[s]ome of the nation's largest mortgage companies are stepping up foreclosures on delinquent homeowners." Everyone saw this coming, according to Rush, even though Obama promised in his speeches to stem foreclosures. But it won't matter, said Rush, because people won't blame Obama, they'll blame the banks.

After another break, Rush returned to the DHS report, which does not in any way target conservatives. Rush claimed the report is straight from Obama's “heart” and “head,” and this was evidenced by a certain passage of the report which, in Rush's mind, sounded very similar to Obama's “bitter” comments from last April that caused a campaign tempest. We didn't think they sounded all that similar, but we were entertained at Rush's suggestion that this report was somehow authored -- or received editorial direction from -- the president: “That is an excellent foundation upon which this DHS report on right-wing extremists could be built: bitter clingers; angry; people don't look like they do; immigration; anti-trade. So don't think this is Janet Napolitano, folks. This is Barack Obama.”

Leading into the next break, Rush took his first call, this one from a man who wanted to thank Rush for setting the record straight on the tea parties being organic and all that. Rush asked him a few questions: Is he a neo-Nazi? Does he hate black people? Does he hate illegal immigration? Rush just wanted to get his “profile” because this guy would be “smeared” and “impugned” today like never before. Rush claimed that the tax parties are “real democracy bubbling up” and didn't have to be “inspired” or “promoted.” So we guess Fox News has wasted a lot of valuable time incessantly promoting the tea parties over the past couple of weeks. Apparently, all those people were going to show up anyway.

After the break, Rush praised Rep. Ron Paul's (R-TX) suggestion that the U.S. government hire mercenaries to patrol the high seas for pirates, and then turned to Obama's tax day speech, the message of which Rush characterized as “suck up and pay up.” Rush was particularly incensed that Obama took a dig at “trickle down” economic policies, because, in Rush's estimation, those policies launched a 25-year economic boom, starting with Ronald Reagan (who raised taxes several times, as we've noted). Rush's conclusion? “This guy is an angry, bitter guy and he has as his intention to return the nation's wealth to its rightful owners. And the rightful owners of the nation's wealth are not the nation's producers in his view. The nation's producers have committed crimes. The nation's producers are greedy and selfish and they need to be gotten even with. They need to be cut down to size just like he intends to cut this country down to size.”

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Now this sounds to me very close to something Obama said during the campaign, and it was at that San Francisco fundraiser about the bitter clingers. Let's review that.

Here's what he said: “But the truth is our challenge is to get people persuaded we can make progress when there's not evidence of that in their daily lives. You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that, somehow, these communities are going to regenerate and they haven't. So, it's not surprising then that they get bitter. They cling to guns, or religion, or antipathy to people who aren't like them, or anti-immigrant sentiment, or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

Well, that's -- you talk about a foundation. That is an excellent foundation upon which this DHS report on right-wing extremists could be built: bitter clingers; angry; people don't look like they do; immigration; anti-trade. So don't think this is Janet Napolitano, folks. This is Barack Obama.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: What he tries to make you think, trickle down, is that the rich are going to walk around and give money away to the middle class and the poor, like government does. There's no concept. He knows exactly what he's talking about, too, and he's bitter.

This guy is an angry, bitter guy and he has as his intention to return the nation's wealth to its rightful owners. And the rightful owners of the nation's wealth are not the nation's producers in his view. The nation's producers have committed crimes. The nation's producers are greedy and selfish and they need to be gotten even with. They need to be cut down to size just like he intends to cut this country down to size.

“Fascism” watch

ANNOUNCER: Now an urgent Homeland Security update for the youth of America from President Barack Obama.

OBAMA IMPERSONATOR: Boys and girls, your family members could be right-wing extremists -- your mom, your dad, even your brothers or sisters. Does your daddy get angry when he sees his tax bill? Does your mom listen to that Rush Limbaugh from noon to three? Do they tune in to Fox News? Do they shop at Wal-Mart? Do they force you to ride in a car that gets less than 30 miles to the gallon or make you go to church?

If they do, you don't have to grow up terrified by right-wingers. Now you can do something about it. Join the Obama Youth Movement. Be the first in your neighborhood to turn in your mom, your dad, your little sister, and proudly wear a brown shirt. So be on the lookout for any subversive activity and remember the watch word: Heil hope.

ANNOUNCER: This message provided by Obama's teleprompter, routed through the word processer of Janet Napolitano, who signed it before she read it.

Clips from this hour:

Rush rant on tea parties: “It is difficult to find... a time when so many liberals have spent so much time slinging so much mud on an embryonic movement”

Limbaugh on tea party participants: “Of course they want [Obama] to fail!”