Tucker Carlson's content farm gets into God's head:

Weather smites cathedral after controversial invite

A higher power has trumped the controversial exclusion of evangelicals from the 9/11 vigil at the Washington National Cathedral.

The vigil was moved from the cathedral after a gust of wind toppled a tall crane on Wednesday. The crane was treating damage from the August 23 earthquake.

“I'm not going to [say it was Karma], because the Apostle Paul reminds us that God's ways are not our ways,” said Richard Land, the president of the Southern Baptist Convention's Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission. The convention, based in Washington, D.C., is the nation's largest group of evangelical congregations.

“There are some who would say 'I'm just sayin'...' but I'm not,” Land added.

“We are not speculating on why the crane fell,” said cathedral spokesman Ari Geller.

When asked if the guest list would now be expanded to include mainstream clerics, Geller hung up the phone on TheDC.

Let's see if we have the premise straight: Representatives of a subsect of Christianity were not invited to a vigil at the National Cathedral. Ergo, a vengeful God sent wind to tip over a crane that was working to repair damage to the cathedral caused by an earthquake (which, presumably, He also sent).

Based on this theory of divine crane tipping, the Daily Caller asked cathedral officials if they were now going to invite evangelicals. And they got hung up on. Perhaps the Devil was in the disconnect.

If we're going to treat this as “journalism” (which in itself would be an act of faith) then we have to point out that the Daily Caller kind of buried the lede: The Lord acts in mysterious, baffling, irrationally self-destructive ways.