There's good news today for job-seekers trying to break into the world of media: just last week, Fox News posted an opening for a writer on their morning show Fox & Friends. Since nobody has more experience with the show than we do, we thought we would provide some helpful tips for prospective applicants. Let's go through the ad.

According to the posting, the applicant must have “4+ years of national or local major market experience” and a “demonstrated ability to write creative and edgy stories and teases.” Not necessary. Can you load GOP talking points into a teleprompter? That frequently passes for “news” on Fox & Friends. As far as the teases go, here is a quick template that should work most of the time: “Is/Are [Obama, the Democratic Party, unions, immigrants] destroying [the country, the economy, your rights, your health care, your children's future]?”

The ad further claims that a successful applicant will have “solid news judgment and understanding of fair and balanced journalism.” Go ahead and forget that part. Fox & Friends is solely dedicated to attacks on the president, Democrats, progressives, unions, Muslims, teachers, and immigrants. No attack is too petty, or too insignificant, and no smear is too baseless, or too false to broadcast on national television. If you need to lend credibility to your right-wing attacks, bring on a GOP official; if you want balance, bring on another one. Usually, no matter how little evidence exists to back up your attacks, someone out there is willing to confirm it. On the rare occasion that nobody is available, the words "some say," or a variation on that theme, are your lifeline.

Election season is coming up, which means you will have to know how to frame interviews. Don't worry, you most likely will never have to write an interview for a Democrat. When hosting GOP candidates and politicians, remember: no softball question is too soft. If you can't find questions soft enough for a right-wing politician to praise themselves, go ahead and praise them yourself.

Any applicants reading this who may think I'm exaggerating and that Fox News' executives would never hire the person I've described. Let me assure you: I am not.