MATT WALSH (CO-HOST): I would never usually suggest that a man expose his buttocks to me. … Well, here's a serious suggestion. Why don't we seriously shock you in the ass? Got a lot of padding in there. A lot of muscle … lot of muscle in that ass, boy.
INTERN A: You don’t want me to pull it out.
ANDREW MURR (CO-HOST): Yeah, I don’t either. I really don’t. I think we should just go.
(CROSSTALK)
WALSH: Hear me out. For the comedy of it, and also because that will hurt the least, I think we should shock you in the ass, at least at first.
INTERN: I think we should shock you.
WALSH: No, I don’t like that idea. What I do like is shocking you in the ass. So get over here.
INTERN: You’re not shocking my butt.
MURR: And I do want you to put the old hardhat on. There we go. Does he not look amazing now?
...
WALSH: I’ll shock you in the stomach. All right? I’ll shock you in the stomach. Are you ready for this?
INTERN: No! No. I am not ready for this.
MURR: I’m ready.
INTERN: This is not cool!
MURR: I’m totally ready for this.
WALSH: This is cool.
MURR: Matt, are you ready?
WALSH: I’m totally ready.
MURR: I’m totally ready.
WALSH: As long as we’re ready, that’s all that matters.
MURR: That’s all that matters.
WALSH: Should I press it? Hold on a sec.
INTERN: Whoa. Oh no!
WALSH: Hold up. I’m not hitting it yet, I’m not hitting it, I’m not hitting it, but should I put it up against him like this? And then do it — is that how you do it?
(CROSSTALK)
INTERN: Oh, my God, I thought you were my friend.
CRANK: We are. That's why we're doing it.
WALSH: This is for your own good. This is for your own good, intern.
INTERN: I love you so much I’m hurting you.
WALSH: This hurts you more than it hurts me.
MURR: Yes it does. Oh God. I’m tingly with anticipation.
WALSH: One, two, three, go!
INTERN: Ow!
MURR: Did it shock you too?
WALSH: Wait, I only got like half a second.
INTERN: That’s all you’re supposed to get.
WALSH: Let’s try it one more time.
INTERN: That hurts.
MURR: You want me to hold onto you while we do it?
INTERN: That hurts.
MURR: Do you want me to hold onto you while we do it?
WALSH: Let’s try one more time. I dropped it. I didn’t get a good one.
INTERN: Not in the stomach anymore, because that hurts.
WALSH: All right, we’ll do it in the uhh —
INTERN: Chesticle.
WALSH: All right, in the chest. But this time we’re going in for the real thing!
INTERN: Wait, just do it in the arm. One, two, three, go.
WALSH: Hold on, hold on.
INTERN: Go! Ow!
…
WALSH: How bad does it hurt? Describe it.
INTERN: It’s like being muscle tenched.
MURR: What?
(Intern reaches for stun gun)
WALSH: Muscle tenched? I’m not giving you this thing, dude.
INTERN: Was it good for radio? You want to do it in the butt?
WALSH: I do, kind of. Let’s just try it once in the ass. Turn around. Ready?
MURR: I don’t even know if we can put this on the blog site.
…
WALSH: You’ve got a pimply, pale ass, bro.
INTERN: Go! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! All right, we’re done. That’s it. All right, good radio. You’re welcome, Delmarva. You’re welcome.