This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Rush's tortured take on 24's environmentalism
By Simon Maloy

Rush got the second hour rolling by pointing out that we learned just today that the Somali pirates that held Captain Phillips hostage were teenagers. Based on this, Rush said: “Now, just imaging the hue and cry had a Republican president ordered added the shooting of black teenagers on the high seas.” We weren't sure exactly what he was getting at here, but Rush continued in this vein, noting that on Fox News' Special Report last night, Mort Kondracke said that Obama did the right thing with regard to the pirates, and that he was in church with the president on Sunday, who looked “preoccupied.” Rush said the reason Obama looked “preoccupied” was that “he was worried about the order he had given to wipe out three teenagers on the high seas. Black Muslim teenagers.” Rush also added that Obama might have been “confused about why there was nobody screaming about how evil America was.”

Coming back from the break, Rush helpfully explained his comments from the top of the hour -- if George W. Bush had ordered pirates shot, that evil mainstream media would have reported that Bush ordered the killing of three black teenagers on the high seas. That seems perfectly likely to us. Rush then suspected that pirates had already infiltrated the U.S., reading from a story about how two men died in a sword fight in Indiana. But it turned out that the sword used was from World War II-era Japan, so Rush's theory went out the window.

Revisiting yet another story from yesterday, Rush noted that the woman who leapt into a polar bear enclosure at a Berlin Zoo will not face charges. As he did yesterday, Rush blamed the whole thing on global warming and Al Gore: “Why would somebody do this? Why would somebody jump into the polar bear encamp -- this is -- I don't want to make a bigger deal out of this than it should be, but I think it's -- I think there's an indication here about just how off-track everybody has become with all of this lying SOB sack-of-manure crap that is global warming.” Rush said the woman should sue Gore for the “fake” pictures of dying polar bears in An Inconvenient Truth.

On the topic of global warming, Rush said he received a lot of e-mails from listeners who were upset that at the end of last night's episode of Fox's 24, one of the actors encouraged viewers to join main character Jack Bauer in fighting climate change. Rush told viewers not to be mad, it wasn't the producers of 24 that did this, it was the Fox executives who think this liberal crap will draw more viewers. Ah yes, those liberal whack-jobs at Fox. Anyway, we suspect the reason Rush so eagerly defended the producers of 24 is because the show holds a special place in the hearts of conservatives -- Jack Bauer goes around the world torturing terrorists to save the day. It's an ideal foreign policy! To suggest that the producers of 24 would cotton to that hippie liberal crap would undermine the reality of the fantasy. Well, Rush would be sad to read that at least a few of 24's producers have been corrupted by... Al Gore! According to the Christian Science Monitor:

The show reduced its overall carbon emissions to zero through a combination of “better practices,” and the purchase of carbon offsets. " '24' was a tough choice to start with because of the difficulty in measuring the high number and different types of emissions," says executive producer Howard Gordon. “But it's been enormously gratifying because it's a relatively high-profile show and can influence other shows.”

The impulse grew from a corporate retreat in 2006, at which former Vice President Al Gore addressed the group on his passion project, global warming. Subsequently, Rupert Murdoch, chairman of parent company News Corp., announced his intention to take the entire company carbon neutral by the year 2010.

“We set a modest goal of one episode of '24,' ” says Gary Newman, chairman of 20th Century Fox Television. “But the entire cast and crew embraced it and we succeeded far beyond our expectations.”

After taking a quick break, Rush took a call from a trucker who was upset that Obama, in his speech today, said: “Economists on both the left and the right agree that the last thing a government should do in the middle of a recession is to cut back on spending.” This is a “straw man” and a “lie,” according to Rush. Actually, no. It's the truth. There are conservative economists who are all about stimulus: “Even Martin Feldstein, a professor of economics at Harvard University who served as chief economic advisor to President Reagan and is considered the dean of the country's conservative economists, has expressed support for a stimulus plan.” Anyway, Rush said if all this talk from Obama about economic recovery and jobs were true, then he wouldn't have to go on TV to talk about it. The only logical conclusion, then, was that this is all about the tea parties, said Rush.

Rush's next caller identified himself as a former resident of the Soviet Union who was very concerned at what he is seeing happen in the country under Obama, describing it all as a “bad dream.” Rush loved this caller, who went on to say that Rush was right earlier when he said the DHS report was all Obama's doing, but was also convinced that Obama himself is just a figurehead who was trying to absolve himself of culpability, like Stalin. The caller said that his parents, who lived under Stalin, used to say when they saw atrocities: “If only Stalin knew.” Rush took this up eagerly: “If only Obama knew!” Rush assured that caller that he is “going to continue our fight here against glasnost and perestroika from the Obama administration.”

Back from the break, Rush took one more caller, this one who wanted to make clear that the Maersk Alabama was delivering food aid to Kenya and Somalia. Before he could finish his thought, Rush had to point out that Obama had many relatives in Kenya. Then the caller did finish his thought -- food aid to our “enemies” Somalia and Kenya is contrary to Darwinism, and that we should just cut them off and let evolution run its course ... Rather than disavowing this interesting opinion from his caller, Rush said he was glad this man called because it allowed him to explain how the left thinks -- that we have no enemies, that the United States is the cause of all the problems in the world, and that we send food aid out of guilt.

Closing out the hour, Rush returned to the call from the former resident of Soviet Russia and tied it to the pirates: “If only President Obama had known that the three Somali community organizers were actually young black Muslim teenagers, I'm sure he wouldn't have given the order to shoot. That's the correct way to look at it. If only Obama had known.”

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

LIMBUAGH: The Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers who took a U.S. merchant captain hostage for five days were inexperienced youth. The Defense Secretary, Robert Gates, said today -- or yesterday -- adding the hijackers between 17 and 19 years old. Now, just imagine the hue and cry had a Republican president ordered added the shooting of black teenagers on the high seas.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Now, I'm going to tell you something. That story, you look at it, and OK, parts of it you can laugh at. OK, some woman dives into the polar bear section, and here comes the polar bear, starts mauling her, and then you go “Oh, this is horrible, this is --” Why would somebody do this? Why would somebody jump into the polar bear encamp -- this is -- I don't want to make a bigger deal out of this than it should be, but I think it's -- I think there's an indication here about just how off-track everybody has become with all of this lying SOB sack-of-manure crap that is global warming.

“Socialism” watch

CALLER: I'm really amazed that they -- someone like you actually is on the air because back when I grew up, I mean, obviously someone like you would not even be allowed to talk -- forget about the radio, just allowed to talk to large groups of people.

LIMBAUGH: Right. I'd have to go to the bathroom.

CALLER: Right. And the fact that you and, you know, a select few like you are still out there. You are like a lighthouse. I don't think people really appreciate the things that you do, I mean, especially in lieu of your phone calls like yesterday. I listen to you every day, and it's like a breath of fresh air, so obviously, you know, there's a lot of people that just don't appreciate the value of what you're doing, and I am personally very concerned about how long it's going to continue because I've seen this movie before. I know how it works. Everything they do doesn't surprise me, and I am concerned, you know, how long we'll be able to have the pleasure of having someone like you being a torchlight for all of us who are here pulling our hair out.

LIMBAUGH: Well, I appreciate you saying that, Victor. That's -- you're very kind. You've flattered me beyond reality, and I appreciate it so much. Glad you're out there. Not gonna go anywhere here; there's nowhere to go. Doing what I was -- doing what I was born to do, Victor.

CALLER: Thank you, and please hang in there. Don't trust any of these whiners who call in and complain. You are indispensable for us, and I just hope you stay healthy, and all of the happiness to you.

LIMBAUGH: Thank you, Victor. And we're going to continue our fight here against glasnost and perestroika from the Obama administration. Be right back.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: If only President Obama had known that the three Somali community organizers were actually young black Muslim teenagers, I'm sure he wouldn't have given the order to shoot. That's the correct way to look at it. If only Obama had known.

America's Truth Rejector

Falsely claimed conservative economists do not support government spending during recessions:

LIMBAUGH: This is a classic Obama straw man argument. “Everybody agrees with me. Everybody agrees with me. Economists on both the left and the right agree with me.”

OBAMA [audio clip]: Economists on both the left and the right agree that the last thing a government should do in the middle of a recession is to cut back on spending.

LIMBAUGH: That is a lie.

OBAMA [audio clip]: You see, when this recession began, many families sat around the kitchen table and tried to figure out where they could cut back, and so have many businesses, and this is a completely reasonable and understandable reaction. But if everybody, if every family in America cuts back all at once, then no one is spending any money which means that there are more layoffs, which means that the economy gets even worse. That's why the government has to step in and temporarily boost spending in order to stimulate demand. That's exactly what we're doing right now.