This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by flapping your arms really fast to fly like Superman
By Greg Lewis

Rush got the ball rolling on the final hour of the week by announcing that he put the transcript of his Madoff-Waxman-Markey comments from the previous hour on his Web page. He said he had gotten a good reaction to what he had said from his audience, but he explained that he didn't remember exactly what he said.

Further elaborating on his comments from the previous hour, Rush explained how we'll never run out of coal or oil because the market will take care of everything, and we don't need Waxman or Markey or Obama to save us.

Remember the caller from the previous hour who told Rush that he called Rep. Goodlatte's office and had been told that the congressman had yet to decide how he would vote on the bill? Well, the angry Dittohead calls to Goodlatte's office must have reached critical mass, because Rush informed us that Goodlatte's office had called to clarify that the congressman was, in fact, voting against the bill, and has consistently been against cap and trade.

After the brief aside, Rush went back to the Waxman-Markey amendment that would create a “New Manhattan Project for Energy Independence.” Rush said we could be energy independent in 10 years if we use the oil we've got. Rush then decided to create his own set of prizes for achievements that couldn't be met. He said he would give an award to the first liberal to call in and convince the audience that George W. Bush was responsible for the death of Michael Jackson, or if you can figure out how to get our spaceships to go warp speed, or make people invisible, or fly like Superman, which Rush predicted would allow for a huge reduction in energy usage. For all his childish mockery of government prizes for invention, Rush ignored the salient fact that such incentives can be wildly successful. Here's a good example: In the 19th century, the U.S. government offered a $30,000 prize to anyone who could come up with a workable proposal for a long-range communications system that would span the Atlantic coast. The result? Samuel Morse and the invention of the telegraph.

Are you still following us? Yes? Great. After the Superman/Michael Jackson/warp speed lapse, Rush quickly recovered, returning to his usual levels of incoherence. He read from an Associated Press article reporting that the cap-and-trade bill could result in landowners being paid to not cut down trees. “You know, I'm getting to the bursting point on this,” he said in response. “There isn't any global warming! Since 2001, temperatures have flat-lined. There isn't any global warming.”

After the break, Rush talked about his friend who owns “one of those huge Mercedes” on the Rolls Royce line. His friend is apparently really tall, so he likes having a big car. Rush said his friend is worried he'll be forced out of his Mercedes to buy a “bubble car,” of which he'll need two of because he won't fit in one. Rush then mentioned the government bailout for Tesla Motors, admitting that he doesn't know what that is. We guess he's not a fan of super-fast electric cars. Anyway, Rush followed this up by reading a CNS News article, which reported that electric cars would not decrease greenhouse gas emissions.

Then Rush moved on to health care, saying that during the ABC health care “infomercial” this week, Obama said that the CBO analysis doesn't incorporate savings from preventative care. Rush thought all of the bans on smoking were meant to cure all health programs, referring to a 2005 article that reported on a study, which found that secondhand smoking cost $10 billion annually. From here, Rush tied the entire health care debate to the debate over secondhand smoke. Rush explained that our liberties were taken away -- in the form of smoking bans -- under the auspices of saving money on preventative care. But where, Rush asked, are all the savings? He concluded that Obama is recycling the same lies used by the “anti-smoking Nazis” to take away your freedoms and liberties.

After another break, Rush enlightened us with some “Rush philosophy.” It was a lengthy screed, that included quotes from Thomas Jefferson's first inaugural and other Founding Fathers, in which Rush argued that the government was meant to uphold liberty, not seize it. Government was meant to secure the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but socialized health care would actually seize those rights. Rush said the Founding Fathers were so ahead of their time. We're all familiar with Rush's ham-fisted and self-congratulatory attempts to solder the high-minded philosophizing of the Founders to his own puerile and nasty attacks on Obama, and this one was little different.

Rush rounded out the program with a couple of calls -- please note that “Open Line Friday!” featured just four callers, all of whom were treated as end-of-the-hour afterthoughts. One caller suggested that we just “send everyone to Disney World” so that they can set up shop in the Pink Castle and Nancy Pelosi could wear her pink dress and wave a wand around. Perhaps we were too quick to criticize Rush for ignoring the callers... Rush went on to comment that at the election night celebration in Grant Park in Chicago, everyone looked like pod people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The next caller was a doctor who had worked in the Canadian health care system and explained some of its history and why he chose to move to the United States. Rush said that government health care will ruin private insurers because they can't compete with an entity that doesn't work for a profit -- a logical inconsistency Rush has yet to address.

That's all for the Limbaugh Wire this week. So we turned out to be right -- today's show was a change of pace. Instead of a three-hour rant on health care reform, we were awarded a three-hour rant on cap-and-trade legislation and global warming. We invite you to recap previous “Open Line Fridays!” in our Limbaugh Wire archives. And on a quick note, Lauryn Bruck, who has been an integral part of the Wire since its inception, is leaving us today to move on to greener pastures. Her assistance has been invaluable to the daily production of this column... or blog... or whatever this is, and we wish her the very best.

Simon Maloy, Lauryn Bruck, and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: You know, I'm getting to the bursting point on this. There isn't any global warming! Since 2001, temperatures have flat-lined. There isn't any global warming.