This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the latest outbreak of “anal poisoning”
By Greg Lewis

Rush began the third hour of the program with more shouting about Warren Buffett's CNBC interview. Rush exclaimed that Buffett “blasted” cap and trade, which is Obama's idea, so, in effect, Buffett is “blasting” Obama's program. He called Buffett a “giant Democrat wrecking ball today.”

Then Rush moved on to another Drudge special (he had the sirens up for Buffett earlier) about a "gay exorcism" video. Rush emphasized to his audience that the person in the video was not Perez Hilton. Then Rush reprised his thoughts from the first hour about Obama and golf.

Moving on, Rush read from an article in The Washington Examiner that claims union workers would be “exempt” from a tax on health care benefits. Rush went on to repeat attacks on Obama's alleged kinship with Karl Marx:

LIMBAUGH: Remember, I said earlier that Obama's right out of Das Kapital. Obama looks at profit as just surplus revenue that he can grab. The private sector is just an endless pile of money. He can go get it, use it, for whatever he wants. I have also said that if you want to understand Obama's economic policy, understand just one thing, and that is: He considers his mission to be to return the nation's wealth to its, quote-unquote, “rightful owners.”

Now, if you're familiar with Marx and Das Kapital, the rightful owners of the nation's wealth are the poor, and workers, the middle class, who are exploited and used and taken advantage of and on whose backs other people get rich. Profit is considered evil. Profit is considered something that's unequal. It's unfair to have a profit and to make one.

Before the commercial break, Rush played audio from Rep. James Clyburn's (D-SC) appearance on Hardball last week. Clyburn, discussing reparations, told Chris Matthews: “We're talking about addressing inequities, disparities that exist in the health care in our communities. That's the kind of thing that we ought to be doing.” Rush said Clyburn, too, is saying things “right out of Das Kapital.”

After the break, Rush read an article in The Hill about the Congressional Black Caucus criticizing an ethics probe into a trip to the Caribbean. Rush said the CBC is upset about the investigation, so they are “crying racism” by saying there aren't enough black investigators on the Ethics Committee. He concluded: “And everyone thought race business was going to go away with the election of Barack Obama.”

Then Rush took a caller who described her troubles with private health care. Specifically, she noted the high cost she pays, and that lately they have been denying her coverage of a specific item that she has been using for years because, she suspected, the economy has been bad and the company is trying to make a profit. After she described her medical background, Rush concluded that somebody, somewhere, has determined the caller is “not worth it” and that this whole situation “is absurd.” He added: “This whole circumstance that you're facing is absurd. And you're right, it's only going to get worse. And you know -- you know why this is the -- the reason that this is absurd is because it's gotten so out of whack you can't afford it yourself. And -- so, now, you're dependent on all these other people. This is a disaster waiting to happen.”

This caller helpfully exposed one of the great faults of the conservative reflex -- observed among certain radio hosts that we monitor -- to scream “rationing!” every time national health insurance comes up. As David Leonhardt recently explained in The New York Times, the truth is that everything is rationed: “It is the process of allocating scarce resources. Even in the United States, the richest society in human history, we are constantly rationing. We ration spots in good public high schools. We ration lakefront homes. We ration the best cuts of steak and wild-caught salmon.” And it's not just the government that “rations,” even private insurance companies, like the caller's, ration care. So when Rush, as he did in the last hour, says that the government bureaucrats will deny you care based on how much it will cost to treat you, you have to realize that's exactly what the vaunted private sector does, and Rush acknowledged it, saying that they had determined that she was “not worth it.”

After the next commercial break, Rush returned with commentary on the breaking news of the moment: Gov. Sanford's admission of an extramarital affair. Sounding rather disappointed, el RushBo's initial reaction was that “Republicans like sex, too.” He continued, saying this was “inexplicable” and “unthinkable,” but also explaining that “lust” is the one thing you can't control. And, of course, as always, Rush used the opportunity to lash out at Democrats: “But I'll tell you what: If he were a Democrat, it'd be a resume enhancement. It has been a resume enhancement for many years. If he were a Democrat, James Carville and Paul Begala would be out attacking this woman today; we'd find out who she was; she'd be plastered all over as trailer trash.”

Then Rush briefly noted an RNC press release that said Obama's policies were crumbling around him -- which Rush took as vindication for saying Obama should fail. He also touched on another Hill article on the CBC, headlined, “CBC upset over Obama's stance on black farmers.” Rush warned that Democrats who vote for cap and trade will not be re-elected in 2010. Rush “guaranteed” this.

Rush then took a caller asking what sign he should place on his television -- a long-time Limbaugh practice -- during the ABC “infomercial” tonight. Rush suggested the sign read: “These people will die of anal poisoning.”

Then Rush somehow tackled two subjects at once. In the middle of playing his ever-popular “Banking Queen” Barney Frank parody (his rebuttal to Frank's request that Freddie and Fannie relax condo loan rules) Rush paused music at points to comment on the Sanford saga. For example, in the middle of the eardrum bursting chorus, Rush lamented that Sanford “could have been our JFK,” but without the mob ties. Rush then complained about an “info babe” on CNN and her reaction to the Sanford story: “Some info babe -- was it CNN? Some info babe on CNN's having a hissy fit; a hissy fit over -- 'He lied to his staff. He lied to his wife.' Hey, babe, do you -- are you reminded of anybody's behavior that is similar to this? In fact, was that when he had a blue dress with a stain on it, babe. She's in a hissy fit over this -- 'He lied to his wife. He lied to his staff.' To Bill Clinton, these babes were trailer trash.” The operating theory here, we guess, is that we can't be aghast at Sanford's mendacity because a Democrat once had an affair, too. We guess that if, in the future, a high-profile Democrat is revealed to have had an extramarital dalliance, Rush will keep schtum, because Gov. Sanford once had an affair, too.

Oh, and it's worth noting -- not that we're geography or bossa nova snobs or anything -- that while Rush repeatedly joked that Sanford went down to Ipanema, Ipanema is actually in Brazil, and Brazil is not in Argentina.

After another break, Rush closed out the program with more commentary on Sanford. When Republicans come out with affairs, said Rush, no one catches them. He also observed that Ensign and Sanford announced their affairs without their wives by their side, unlike Eliot Spitzer. Then Rush played the audio of “info babe” Kyra Phillips' “hissy fit,” saying that Phillips “probably defended” Bill Clinton during the Lewinsky scandal. So there's the logic, if it can be called that -- Phillips “probably defended” Clinton, therefore she can't say anything about Sanford. Rush can't be bothered to actually, you know, check anything that Phillips said, because there's a “point” to be made that can't be encumbered by “facts.”

Rush concluded his program today by exclaiming: “What a day to come back!” We couldn't agree more. And so ends today's Limbaugh Wire. We'll see you tomorrow for the next installment of the developing Sanford-Limbaugh-Lewis conspiracy. As always, we encourage you to check out our extensive Limbaugh archives.

Simon Maloy, Lauryn Bruck, and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: This is absurd. This whole circumstance that you're facing is absurd. And you're right, it's only going to get worse.

CALLER: It's going to get worse. It's going to get worse, because --

LIMBAUGH: And you know -- you know why this is the -- the reason that this is absurd is because it's gotten so out of whack you can't afford it yourself.

CALLER: Correct. It's $8,000 for the --

LIMBAUGH: And -- so, now, you're dependent on all these other people. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

CALLER: Yep, you better believe it. And my stepfather was on the last boat to this country with the communists seven miles behind him.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Well, no. I'll tell you, if you want a sign to put on your TV tonight while you're watching the ABC infomercial: “These people will die of anal poisoning.”

[...]

LIMBAUGH: You marvel at this. But I'll tell you what: If he were a Democrat, it'd be a resume enhancement. It has been a resume enhancement for many years. If he were a Democrat, James Carville and Paul Begala would be out attacking this woman today; we'd find out who she was; she'd be plastered all over as trailer trash.

“Socialism” watch

LIMBAUGH: Remember, I said earlier that Obama's right out of Das Kapital. Obama looks at profit as just surplus revenue that he can grab. The private sector is just an endless pile of money. He can go get it, use it, for whatever he wants. I have also said that if you want to understand Obama's economic policy, understand just one thing, and that is: He considers his mission to be to return the nation's wealth to its, quote-unquote, “rightful owners.”

Now, if you're familiar with Marx and Das Kapital, the rightful owners of the nation's wealth are the poor, and workers, the middle class, who are exploited and used and taken advantage of and on whose backs other people get rich. Profit is considered evil. Profit is considered something that's unequal. It's unfair to have a profit and to make one.

Ladies' man

LIMBAUGH: Some info babe -- was it CNN? Some info babe on CNN's having a hissy fit; a hissy fit over -- “He lied to his staff. He lied to his wife.” Hey, babe, do you -- are you reminded of anybody's behavior that is similar to this? In fact, was that when he had a blue dress with a stain on it, babe. She's in a hissy fit over this -- “He lied to his wife. He lied to his staff.” To Bill Clinton, these babes were trailer trash.