This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Statist Farm insurance
By Simon Maloy

As you're probably aware, we're not really big on conspiracy theories. But it's our lot in life to monitor The Rush Limbaugh Show, which is a prime breeding ground for lunatic flights of fancy, so we spend a great deal of time debunking them, whether they be birther nonsense, wacky environmentalist plots to take control of your lives, or the Obama plan to purposefully destroy the economy in order to plausibly assert increased government control. But it's important to remember that for all the crazy stuff out there, sometime there actually is a conspiracy. For example, Rush has, over the past week, gleefully predicted that members of Congress will be harassed by their constituents about health care reform at town hall meetings during the August recess. This is because, says Limbaugh, the people more people learn about the proposed reform, the more they oppose it. But it turns out there actually may be something of a conspiracy going on here -- a leaked memo from a far-right tea party group encouraging activists not only to attend town hall meetings with their representatives, but to be disruptive, to try to “rattle” their member of Congress, and to make it appear as though they speak for a larger group of Americans than they actually do. It's astroturfing, plain and simple.

Rush got this Monday rolling by saying his mind was boggled. Rush explained that he was just sitting there minding his own business, and then he was sent the sound bite roster for today's show, and he discovered that they “trashed” Rush's diet on Good Morning America and The View today. Rush said if they want to talk to Rush about it, fine, but they didn't - they just played audio clips of Rush talking about it. Rush aired the audio of Good Morning America, and defended his diet regime against the “medical babe,” Dr. Marie Savard, GMA hosted to criticize it. Rush guaranteed that if Obama were on this diet, they'd be loving it. They'd be broadcasting it coast to coast. None of the criticism makes sense, said Rush, and these people are so contradictory -- they're attacking obesity as the main driver behind rising health care costs, but they're attacking Rush's efforts to combat obesity. Then Rush aired the discussion of his diet from The View, saying that all these people wish he was dead anyway, so why aren't they celebrating that he's taking these so-called health risks? They're just mad that he's looking “studly,” said Rush.

Leading into the break, Rush gave us a rundown of what the rest of the show will look like: Cash for Clunkers? What a “boondoggle”! Health care? People are “erupting”! Also, said Rush, people in LA are putting up posters of Obama made up to look like Heath Ledger's Joker. Rush has always said that the downfall of Obama will happen when it becomes “cool” to make fun of the guy, and that's starting to happen.

After the break, Rush announced that he has learned what the names of the new government health insurance companies will be: “There are going to be two insurance companies run by the government: AllStatist and Statist Farm. Like a big brother, Statist Farm will be there. Statist Farm is also where you will be put out to pasture once you're 70 years old and in bad health.” Do you get it? “State” is the root word for “statist,” so they sound similar. That's the funny part of the joke, in case you couldn't tell.

Anyway, Rush then moved on to audio sound bites of a town hall meeting held by Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius and Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA) in Philadelphia. In the first bite, a man asked Sebelius why we should trust members of Congress to reform health care if they don't even read the bill, and rowdiness ensued. Rush said this is just the beginning. We're being told that these people are an unruly mob ginned up by talk radio, but this is easy to understand. Congress hasn't read the bill, and the people don't want to give up their insurance, and we've found video of Obama saying the goal is to get rid of private insurance. It's the plan, said Rush, it's in the bill. And Sebelius, according to Rush, could barely hide her disdain for the voters showing up at this meeting. She's part of this cabal that looks at government as parliamentarian royalty. And when she gets out there and sees real America, which she's not in touch with, she's totally shocked that these serfs have the audacity to object to anything she says.

In the next bite, Specter said senators have to make judgments quickly, and Sebelius pointed out the Senate bill isn't even written yet. They know what's going to be in that bill, said Rush. That crowd -- this was Philadelphia, it's about as Democrat-union as you can get. The city recently built a brand new skyscraper that had these newfangled toilets that didn't need pipes, said Rush, but the steamfitters union blew a gasket so they had to put in these worthless pipes. And you notice, said Rush, that when Specter said we have to make judgments very fast, people said no you don't. People are not stupid, this is easily understandable, and that's why there's so much trouble out there.

Another break and Rush came back saying that he has some specific questions that he'd like to see people at health care town halls with their representatives start asking: What diseases and drugs will be covered? How long will it take before I lose my private insurance that I like? Up to what age are my diseases covered? Pelosi was asked by Bloomberg if she expects private insurers to be partners in health care reform, said Rush, and she called them villains. You're not being given more power or leverage, said Rush, you're being sandwiched and squeezed. The purpose is to demonize the insurance companies because they don't like what they see in the polling data. One of the groups that Obama is losing the fastest on this are the precious independents, said Rush. They're bailing on this thing. And when they start losing the elderly, then there's going to be hell to pay. But here's the bottom line, said Rush, is t hat it doesn't matter to them. They don't care what the public thinks. This is about forcing something down our throats, even when a vast majority of people do not want it.

Throughout the campaign, said Rush, and even after the inauguration, Obama promised that nobody making under $250,000 would have a tax increase. That is now off the table. It came up on the Sunday shows, Rush said, during which the hosts had a one-track mind in declaring the recession over. We have a situation where the press is willing to say that the recession is over, but people are still losing their jobs. Geithner was asked by Stephanopoulos about tax increases, and he said we're going to have to do what it takes. Rush said you're being told to wave goodbye to that $250,000 promise. We're being told that we have no choice, said Rush. Larry Summers told Bob Schieffer said it's never a good idea to rule things out. Rush said: “So here you have two officials of the Obama administration virtually promising you that your taxes are going up.”

The Wall Street Journal has a great editorial on cash for clunkers, said Rush, though he cautioned that he thinks people are looking at this the wrong way. Cash for clunkers, said Rush, is an example of how you would properly stimulate the economy. Nothing has forced people into the showrooms like this -- put money into the pockets of the American people. You don't do that by writing checks, you do that by cutting taxes. But instead we're talking about extending unemployment benefits. The more you pay people unemployment, said Rush, the more they will put off seeking work. Obama and the Democrats want you to willingly turn over as much of your liberty and freedom as possible. Republicans are opposing the cash for clunkers program in a unique way, said Rush, pointing out that most of the money is going to auto companies that are owned by the government. Rush said he opposes the program for the precedent that it sets -- you can't get a car unless the government pays you. But this reveals how you really stimulate an economy. Rush had this to add: “And I'll guarantee you if this program dies and doesn't get fueled with anymore money it's because they're ultimately decided they don't want you to have that much money. They don't want your hard earned tax money to be returned to you, in however way it comes.”

After another break Rush rounded out the hour with a caller from our hometown, Greenwich, Connecticut, who said that she and her cousin have read through the House health care bill and discovered that this is essentially Medicaid, and they'll take your pre-existing condition, but they'll deny you some necessary treatments. What's going to happen, said the caller, is that we'll reach a point where the government is going to have to start instituting caps, because if everyone is basically on Medicaid, you're not going to have the option to pay out of pocket for a procedure. Rush asked if she's saying that the very wealthy in this country aren't going to be able to pay for their own treatment. Caller said it's not clear whether private practice will be affected, but it's the procedures she's worried about, and she's going to start a blog with a doctor. There's going to be a separate health care system for the wealthy elite, said Rush.

Greg Lewis and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Folks, I have learned what the government's new insurance companies are going to be called. As you know, Nancy Pelosi has made it plain, it's time this month in August, demonize the insurance companies. That's how they're gonna try to get you to change your mind and go in the opposite direction where you're going now, and that is support Obama's health-care plan. There are going to be two insurance companies run by the government: AllStatist and Statist Farm. Like a big brother, Statist Farm will be there. Statist Farm is also where you will be put out to pasture once you're 70 years old and in bad health.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Here's Geithner and your middle-class tax increase coming up. Stephanopoulos says revenues are on the table as well here?

[begin audio clip]

GEITHNER: Again, we're not at the point here where we're going to make a judgment about what it's going to take, but the --

STEPHANOPOULOS: But you're not ruling it out, you can't rule it out.

GEITHNER: What I think the country needs to do is understand we're gonna have to do what it takes. We're gonna have to do what's necessary.

[end audio clip]

LIMBAUGH: You're just being told to wave goodbye to that promise that you're not gonna have a tax increase if you earn less than $250,000 a year. And he said in this interview we have no choice. We have no choice. Country needs to understand, we're going to have to do what it takes. Bob Scheiffer talking to Larry Summers. You don't see another round of tax increases coming? No tax increases for middle income Americans?

SUMMERS [audio clip]: There's a lot that can happen over time. But the priority right now -- and so it's never a good idea to absolutely rule things out, no matter what.

LIMBAUGH: They already did rule it out. Obama already did rule it out. So here you have two officials of the Obama administration virtually promising you that your taxes are going up.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: And I'll guarantee you if this program dies and doesn't get fueled with any more money, it's because they have ultimately decided they don't want you to have that much money. They don't want your hard-earned tax money to be returned to you, in however way it comes.