This hour of the Limbaugh Wire is brought to you by the horrors of Botox withdrawal and anal poisoning
By Karl Frisch and Greg Lewis

Well, the story of Nancy Pelosi and her briefing with the CIA has taken some more twists in the past 24 hours. Before we get into Limbaugh's remarks about this today, let's take this opportunity to put a few things out there. The Washington Post's Greg Sargent pointed out earlier today how the story is being reported in a rather one-sided manner. At issue is a dispute between Pelosi's and the CIA's recollections of the briefing, and yet, as Sargent noted, “it's a simple matter of fact that Nancy Pelosi's claims about what she was told and when about torture are getting far more intense media scrutiny than the CIA's claims are.” We share this story on the Wire not because we hold Limbaugh to such esteemed levels of journalism, but only to demonstrate how adults might look at this hazy issue before we delve into today's dose of Rush's tomfoolery (remember how absurd Rush's Pelosi commentary was yesterday?)

“Benevolent dictator” Rush kicked off “Open Line Friday” brimming with excitement, exclaiming that Obama “has thrown himself under the bus” by “attack[ing]” his own spending policies. At one Rush asked if Obama were the “new Houdini” because he's trying to “escape” his own policies. To make a long rant short, Rush was really excited that Obama was recognizing well understood economic principles. Then Rush gave his theory as to why Obama “has thrown himself under the bus”: “He just ripped to shreds everything he's done in the first 100 days. I think what's actually going on here, he knows that he's being followed around by a bunch of sycophants who are going to die of anal poisoning before the year's out. And his voters are just, you know, they're space cadets still in love with the whole image thing.”

The Rush moved on to Pelosi versus the CIA, explaining that everybody knew what the CIA was going to do with enhanced interrogation techniques, but nobody stood up and called it torture. Rush reminded us of his old theory that it can only be torture if we intend for it to be torture: “So maybe none of this is actually torture. And of course by definition, by statute-tory definition in this country, it can only be torture if you intend it to be. In other words, torture cannot happen by accident.” (Yes, he said “statute-tory.”)

Oh, and lest we forget, there were more juvenile swings at Pelosi from El Rushbo. Speaking of her press conference yesterday, Rush noted: “She was shaking. That could be Botox withdrawal. I don't want to be too hard on the shaking.” He later described her as a “crab” in the way she walked out of the press conference. Then he finished off the segment with a fascinating discussion of the glass ceiling: “But we are going to learn soon, folks, if women are the equal of men. We are going to learn very soon if women can finally break the glass ceiling. And you know what the test is? Let me tell you what the test is. Will Nancy Pelosi resign as speaker of the House? That's the test.”

Anyway, after the break, the right-wing talker's excitement then turned to outrage -- or so we thought. We have to listen to Rush's show linearly, but recapping this will be more pleasant if we can couple it with what Rush said about 10 minutes later. Rush began the segment expressing what seemed like genuine outrage over the reported detainee photos released by the UK Telegraph and posted on the front page of Drudge. However, later, Rush couldn't hold it in anymore -- his producer Snerdly told him the subjects in the photos looked like “some pervert” in a nude exercise video, to which Rush added: “If that's torture, I weigh 102 pounds.”

Then Rush took a caller who was upset over the Chrysler and GM dealership closings. Rush was as well, and blamed Obama for closing them, calling the Chrysler bankruptcy unconstitutional.

Later, Rush reminded us of the story during the stimulus debate of Obama giving a speech at a Caterpillar factory in Indiana, mentioning that the CEO of the company had promised him that he would be able to hire some people if the stimulus passed -- a promise that turned out to be somewhat misleading. Rush read an article reporting that the promised $2 trillion in savings the health care industry promised earlier this week are an overstatement, and that industry representatives are now claiming the president “misspoke.” This led Rush to comment that the Obama administration is “showing no regret, no compunction whatsoever about being authoritarian, autocratic. They're governing in fear, and everybody that they're coming in contact with is afraid of them.” Obama and Pelosi are lying, according to Rush.

Limbaugh rounded out the hour with a call from a dittohead who was concerned that GM and Chrysler closing dealerships will cause them to lose market share to their foreign competitors. Rush ponders these thoughts with the caller for a few moments, but eventually declares that Obama is going to get rid of trucks. That's an interesting observation from Rush to be sure, seeing that there's really no proof for such an absurd claim.

Authoritarian Watch:

LIMBAUGH: This administration showing no regret, no compunction whatsoever about being authoritarian, autocratic. They're governing in fear, and everybody that they're coming in contact with is afraid of them.

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: So maybe none of this is actually torture. And of course by definition, by statute-tory definition in this country, it can only be torture if you intend it to be. In other words, torture cannot happen by accident.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: But I'm still stuck here, folks, on Obama condemning his first 100 days in office [laughing]. He has just stated with more clarity than ever and brevity than ever how he has wrecked the economy for years to come. He just spelled it -- he told everybody. He just condemned what he did. He just ripped to shreds everything he's done in the first 100 days. I think what's actually going on here, he knows that he's being followed around by a bunch of sycophants who are going to die of anal poisoning before the year's out. And his voters are just, you know, they're space cadets still in love with the whole image thing.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: But we are going to learn soon, folks, if women are the equal of men. We are going to learn very soon if women can finally break the glass ceiling. And you know what the test is? Let me tell you what the test is. Will Nancy Pelosi resign as speaker of the House? That's the test.