This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Obama's “uppity” critics
By Simon Maloy

Boy, do we have a treat for you today. In a Limbaugh Wire exclusive first, we managed to land an interview yesterday with -- are you ready for it? -- the President of the United States, Barack Obama. We've reproduced the transcript below:

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Good morning, Mr. President.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Um... good morning? It's four in the afternoon, you know.

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Oh, sorry. We like to keep things on Hokkaido time. Anyway, we wanted to clear something up right off the bat. We read on the Internet that Article IX, Section II of the Constitution expressly forbids playing hopscotch under a full moon in April. Are you aware of this?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: [awkward silence]

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Mr. President?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Er... I don't think I'm familiar with that particular section of the Constitution. There isn't even a --

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Are you admitting that you, the president of the United States, haven't read the Constitution? This is outrageous!

PRESIDENT OBAMA: No, I -- this interview is over.

LIMBAUGH WIRE: Where is your birth certif --

And that's where the Secret Service “ended the interview.” When we came to several hours later, it occurred to us that perhaps we should have actually read the Constitution before asking that question, which did seem a little loaded in hindsight. Well, it turns out that there isn't even an Article IX in the Constitution, so we're feeling pretty stupid right about now. Seriously, just think for a minute about how completely and utterly stupid we looked for reading something transparently false on the Internet, assuming it was true, and then attacking the president for not knowing about it.

Rush got today's show rolling by cautioning, again, against getting “too giddy” on health care. Rush said he thinks Obama is close to going over the edge -- he grew up never laughed at or teased or criticized, and if someone talks about his big ears today, he might lose it. Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) was right, said Rush, this is Obama's Waterloo. The president says that they rescued the economy, but the poll numbers are dropping. In this new AP poll, said Rush, the number of people who think Obama can improve the economy is down. This is where the Waterloo is. Rush said there was a great question yesterday by a caller, and it has to be asked again: What have Obama and the Democrats done for you? What have they done to you? They haven't done anything for anybody. They rescued the economy? They haven't done anything, said Rush. We just found out that stimulus money is going to be used to put energy efficient lights at the Raleigh airport. It's absurd!

Then it was time to get to health care -- which on The Rush Limbaugh Show means “time to lie about health care.” Rush had a simple question: If health care is such a catastrophe in this country, why didn't any of the stimulus money go toward insuring the uninsured? Rush ran some numbers, and by his calculation, you have 47 million uninsured people. You could, for between $30-100 billion, buy a health policy for all those people for one year. We should point out that that is exactly why you don't do that -- making health insurance affordable is more effective long-term than insuring people for one year. That should be obvious to anyone not interested in making stupid political points. Anyway, Rush said Obama isn't rescuing anything -- he's destroying the economy, and he's doing it on purpose. This health care debacle has no prayer of working.

Then Rush read from a “gutsy” story on the American Thinker -- which is becoming a regular source for Rush's health care lies -- headlined: “Does Ted Kennedy deserve his extended cancer care?” The premise of the article is the canard that Obama's health care reform will require the elderly to die instead of receive treatment. Rush took this ball and ran with it, playing a sound bite from Obama's health care town hall from last month on ABC, in which a woman asked the president about her elderly mother receiving a pacemaker. Rush said that the government employee health plan is not run by the government, and members of Congress are not going to opt into a government-run program.

After the break, Rush took a call from a gentleman asking why Rush is speeding up the audio bites of Obama, because he can't understand what Obama is saying when Rush does that. Rush said the reason is because these people are running at breakneck speed to get this debacle down our throats, and he's trying to illustrate that.

Then Rush said that Sen. DeMint “really hit paydirt” with this claim that health care is Obama's Waterloo. Rush then read from a National Journal report, which quoted Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) quoting an anonymous Democratic congressman quoting the president saying that if health care doesn't pass, “You're going to destroy my presidency.” Rush said he thought it wasn't about Obama. Here's the deal, said Rush: “He can't handle criticism. He's never been criticized substantively, I'll guarantee you. I know these kind of people, folks -- I've worked for 'em; I've been fired by 'em. Never been criticized, never laughed at, never teased. Remember, Maureen Dowd made some comment about his elephant ears during the campaign, and he walked down off the stage and confronted her, said, 'I'm very, very sensitive about my ears.' And she said, 'We're just trying to toughen you up.' ” This was debunked a long time ago -- Obama was joking with Dowd about his ears, and he actually said to her: “I was teased relentlessly when I was a kid about my big ears,” which pretty much undermines the entire premise of Rush's theory. Anyway, Rush said they're falling apart over at the White House, and we better thank our lucky stars that they did the stimulus before health care, because no one would have opposed health care if it was Obama's first big push. But they started with porkulus. That isn't working, the poll numbers are plummeting, and that's why they can't do health care.

Then Rush read from DeMint's press release on “the top five questions Sen. DeMint would like the president to address” at his press conference tonight. But Obama doesn't debate issues, said Rush, “he clears the field. He gets rid of opponents. He does not debate issues. He does not do that. He has his ideas and they are his and they are right and they're gonna happen, come hell or high water, and we don't even have the right to disagree. We are being uppity if we disagree with this man's brilliance.”

The Jim DeMint love train kept right on a-rollin' after the break, as Rush declared that the South Carolina senator rendered NBC's Matt Lauer “speechless” in their interview this morning. Rush then aired audio of DeMint saying we need to put the brakes on Obama's government takeover of health care and asked why we have to pass this bill in two weeks if it doesn't get implemented for four years. Rush then aired audio of Lauer asking DeMint about his “Waterloo” comments, and DeMint's response that it's not personal, but we have to stop Obama's policies. The drive-bys are trying to make it look like DeMint wants to destroy the president personally, Rush said, but Obama is already failing. He's failing our country, he's failing our economy, and what's happened is exactly what he has intended. [Insert standard “Obama is purposefully destroying the economy” rant here] The drive-bys want to make this all personal, said Rush, who said that the stimulus is also Obama's Waterloo, but there's yet another Waterloo happening out there -- the mainstream media have met their Waterloo in Obama, because they're giving up every ounce of credibility they have in helping Obama destroy the country. They are destroying themselves to defend President Obama.

Rush then moved on to the White House's latest tweet, which read: “Health care reform opponents scale up attacks, playing politics w/ our lives & livelihood.” They're running this like a campaign, said Rush, and it's all about Obama. There are no health care reform opponents, said Rush. We all have ideas. There are just people who disagree with Obama's bill, which he admits he hasn't even read. Obama never takes people on in the arena of ideas, claimed Rush, instead he lies and attacks and misleads. When Obama says his opponents “attack,” he means they're “bringing up facts.” Obama is ramming a plan to socialize medicine through at light speed without even reading it, and he attacks those who have read it as playing politics. This bill is a jobs killer. [Re-insert standard rant about how Obama is destroying the country] There is bipartisan opposition to Obama on health care, said Rush, from the Blue Dogs and the Republicans. And the average liberal Democrat is scared to death of this because it's such an overreach. They prefer to do things stealthily.

Another break and Rush was back, saying that Obama is mad that his presidency is being destroyed. We heard that from Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA), and that's what makes him mad. He doesn't care if he destroys the economy or millions of jobs, but talk about his presidency being destroyed, and now we have some anger. The mission of the White House now is to save Obama's presidency.

Closing out the hour, Rush read extensively from yet another American Thinker piece, titled: “One Step Closer to Losing Your Right to Health Care.” If Drudge isn't careful, these American Thinker knuckleheads could usurp him as Rush's programming guide.

Greg Lewis and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: He doesn't debate; he clears the field. He gets rid of opponents. He does not debate issues. He does not do that. He has his ideas and they are his and they are right and they're gonna happen, come hell or high water, and we don't even have the right to disagree. We are being uppity if we disagree with this man's brilliance.

America's Truth Rejector

Falsely claimed that Obama was never teased and that he “confronted” Maureen Dowd when she made fun of his ears:

LIMBAUGH: He can't handle criticism. He's never been criticized substantively, I'll guarantee you. I know these kind of people, folks -- I've worked for 'em; I've been fired by 'em. Never been criticized, never laughed at, never teased. Remember, Maureen Dowd made some comment about his elephant ears during the campaign, and he walked down off the stage and confronted her, said, “I'm very, very sensitive about my ears.” And she said, “We're just trying to toughen you up.”