This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by “warriorette” Liz Cheney's “truth” tour
By Simon Maloy

Happy “Open Line Friday!” everyone. It's that special day of every week when Rush pretends to turn over programming decisions to the Dittohead nation, who usually take this rare opportunity to call in and repeat back to Rush exactly what he said a few minutes earlier, albeit slightly rephrased, and then Rush praises them for the excellent point they've just made. You don't get to call yourself the Excellence in Broadcasting network for nothing, folks ...

Rush got things started in fine form, saying that there are a number of Americans who won't be celebrating Memorial Day on Monday. Instead, Rush theorized, they'll be celebrating the fact that President Obama's birthday is exactly 40 days from Monday. Get it? They love Obama so much that they'll celebrate his birthday over a month in advance. I'll wait for you to finish slapping your knees. Once again, you don't get to call yourself the Excellence in Broadcasting network for nothing.

Then Rush noted that Obama delivered the commencement address at the Naval Academy today, saying that Obama offered his usual hit piece on capitalism, individual achievement, etc. But Obama also said for the second day in a row, Rush noticed, that he will do whatever it takes to protect the American people. According to Rush, if you have to say this as president, then there must be some doubt that you actually can protect the American people. We assume Rush felt the same of George W. Bush when he said on September 26, 2006: “This government is going to do whatever it takes to protect this homeland. We're not going to let their excuses stop us from staying on the offense. The best way to protect America is defeat these killers overseas so we do not have to face them here at home. We're not going to let lies and propaganda by the enemy dictate how we win this war.” Rush said that there's something Obama keeps saying in his speeches that is starting to irritate him -- he keeps blaming everything on the previous administration. The secret to Obama, Rush said, is that people think he's so smart because he doesn't say anything you don't already know.

Then it was tortured metaphor time once again on The Rush Limbaugh Show, as Rush explained that he likes to relate things happening in politics to sports. The economic news today, Rush said, is horrible, and presidents are typically linked inexorably to the performance of the economy. In this way, Rush said, Obama is like a new football coach who is 0-4, but looking at the mess he's created, what does he do? He bashes Bush, the previous coach. He wants to make everyone think he has nothing to do with the team being 0-4, even though he's the head coach. So Rush offered some advice to the rookie coaches in the NFL this year: If your team instantly implodes, it's very simple what you do -- blame your predecessor, and give speeches instead of holding team meetings. It's the equivalent of Obama blaming Bush.

It strikes us that for this metaphor to work, the previous coach would have to have gambled away the team payroll, pawned all the training equipment, and set fire to the stadium.

After the break, Rush touched on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's remarks today, specifically her refusal to offer further comment on her allegation that the CIA misled Congress on the harsh interrogation techniques. Rush said he wasn't surprised that Pelosi declined further comment because she knows that she has a “pliant media” that will “obey” her.

After another break, Rush offered an extended paean to Liz Cheney, who he referred to as a “warriorette” for her frequently televised defenses of her father's defense of harsh interrogations. Rush said that she is offering a “blueprint” for how Republicans should take on the “ignorant” liberals in the media like NBC's Lawrence O'Donnell and Donnie Deutsch. After airing several sound bytes of Liz Cheney's many media appearances over the past couple of days, Rush said that she is making it clear that the Democrats don't want to end the torture debate, they just want to politicize it. Liberalism itself is in “quicksand,” said Rush, and Liz Cheney is going on these liberal media programs by herself and “wiping out” these people with something as simple as the truth.

One more break and Rush was back with his first caller, a man who professed to be terrified of Obama the “Marxist,” and explained that even though he didn't like Bill Clinton either, Clinton was “a zillion times better” than Obama. Rush said that this proves that nostalgia only touches on the favorable. We're not entirely sure the caller was “nostalgic” for Clinton, but Rush soldiered on, saying that the caller had to remember that Bill Clinton wanted to do everything Obama is doing. If Clinton had succeeded with universal health care, all the other dominoes would have fallen. Clinton, said Rush, had every bit the intention of growing government and raising taxes as Obama does, and Clinton was just as adept as Obama at blaming the Bush that preceded him. Rush added: “We were saved -- people forget this, Adam, but we were saved by Monica Lewinsky and the intern pool. We don't know yet if the intern pool in the Obama White House is going to be as effective in derailing him as Lewinsky was in derailing Clinton, but you can't count on that much history detail to repeat itself.”

Closing out the hour, Rush teased us by declaring that counterfeiting should be made legal. We're anxious to see how that one plays out.

Highlights from Hour 1

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: We're just going to have to wait and see here. We were saved -- people forget this, Adam, but we were saved by Monica Lewinsky and the intern pool. We don't know yet if the intern pool in the Obama White House is going to be as effective in derailing him as Lewinsky was in derailing Clinton, but you can't count on that much history detail to repeat itself.

Echo chamber

Effusive praise for Liz Cheney:

LIMBAUGH: What Liz Cheney is pointing out -- “Look, Obama can settle this argument. Obama can settle it by releasing the memos my dad says he saw. And if those memos don't say what my dad says he saw, then guess what? My dad's going to be perceived as wrong. But if those memos do say what my dad says, then Obama's going to be the one that's misrepresented.” But Donny, don't argue with me; just have Obama release the memos. The truth is there. It's the White House that's preventing us from knowing it.

Now, she's got guts and courage here. I've -- she's -- I was her dinner partner one night out in Wyoming at a dinner. It was a social thing; it wasn't a political thing. But as you can expect, political things ended up being discussed, and she was on fire. I mean, this woman is committed. She is informed. She is -- she's a warrior, a warriorette on this stuff, and it's great that she's out doing this now.

Somebody made the point today -- I forget who -- but we've had all of these presidential children and the sons of presidents, you know, a dime a dozen. They've come and gone, daughters and so forth, and they've always held out potential. But Liz Cheney happens to be the most worthwhile in terms of a political asset to her father: vocal, intelligent, and effective. And it -- this is so breathtaking to watch because it is a seminar on how any Republican appearing on any of these shows with any of these bumblehead liberals can handle them.