This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by the new, “cool” conservatism
By Simon Maloy

Davis got the second hour started by announcing that he has “big tent fatigue.” After offering one of the better Arlen Specter impersonations we've heard, Davis said he was glad that Specter is being treated “like garbage” by his new Democratic colleagues.

Rush was right, Davis said, in calling for a “teaching tour.” Davis exhorted Republicans to be conservatives -- the Democrats have been pretty successful at being liberals, so why shouldn't the GOP be conservative? But this big tent stuff is nonsense, Davis said, because it is about candidates, not voters. Davis wants to “dismantle” the big tent in the sense that any person with “cockamamie” ideas who wins a primary can become a Republican standard-bearer. Davis wanted a candidate who will tell voters that if you're a squishy liberal on the issues, “there's the door.” It's a shame, according to Davis, that there are so few candidates with that much “courage.”

Davis then asked whether conservatives have to soften their stance on immigration to appeal to Latinos. “No!” was the resounding response to his own question as he explained that some of he most impassioned feelings toward border security he's heard have come from Latinos. But not all Latinos think that way, Davis noted, so how are conservatives to fix this? They can pander, or offer clarity. This is a very “binary” choice, for the most part, said Davis, and the strategy doesn't have to be complex: “Keep it simple, stupid.” Just find conservatives who are upbeat and pleasant and send them out there on a teaching tour, not a listening tour. But forget the big tent, said Davis, because you never see the Democrats fretting over the size of their tent, seeking to draw in pro-lifers or people who are “hostile towards terrorism.”

So, Davis concluded, the new, revitalized GOP will accept shades of conservative ideology, but if you're sufficiently to the left, just go be a Democrat. Davis explained: “The pool I want to fill, in Republican land, is a pool filled with the water of liberty and personal responsibility, and low taxes, and strong limited government, and, really, in the very short term, doing our damndest to stop this poisonous agenda that has been jammed down America's esophagus for the last 110 or so days.” But that doesn't mean you have to be negative, explained Davis: “Promote the positives: good diet, exercise, clean living, but also, if you get some horrible disease, you need to cure it -- and that might be what you need to do first. You know, if you've got a tumor, let's get the tumor out and then talk about whether you're, you know, eating a carrot stick and taking a walk. First things first.”

After the break, Davis took a call from a 19-year-old woman in California, the daughter of Iraqi immigrants, who wanted to explain how Obama won the youth vote -- liberals are exactly like teenagers because they act only on “emotion” and only understand “cool” and “funny.” The GOP, she said, has to stop talking policy to the youth and find some young candidates who love conservatism and know what they're talking about and can relate to the youth. Davis said this is “genius.” These candidates, he said, still have to be serious, policy-minded guys, but they have to tap into the culture and “make conservatism cool.” Perhaps Davis and the caller were unaware, but this effort is already underway, but the results have been less than... optimal.

Anyway, another break and Davis was back with some words of hope for the audience: “As I've said, if you take a look at current events, we laugh lest we cry. So the Republic still hangs by a thread. We are probably in greater danger from terror because of the softness of the current administration, but, sometimes, you just got to have a chuckle.” Speaking of the current administration, Davis then turned to attacking Obama for cutting funding for the State Criminal Alien Assistance Program, which “provides states a federal subsidy to offset the costs of jailing illegal immigrants.” There are two things you can say about Obama's budget cuts, said Davis -- they're either so small as to be laughable, or they cut things that actually work.

Then it was on to Obama's upcoming Notre Dame speech, which has outraged every Catholic in the country, judging by Fox News' coverage of the issue. Of course, Catholics, by and large, are not upset, but a vocal minority of conservative Catholics insist it's a controversy, so let's run with it. Apparently, a conservative group wanted to put up a billboard near the school attacking Obama as “pro-abortion,” but was stymied by the billboard company, which insisted the group change the language to “pro-choice.” Davis understood this is a semantic game, but nonetheless intoned: “Should the people have been able to say that the president was not pro-choice or even pro-abortion choice, but pro-abortion? You know, when you stick up for infanticide like this guy has.” Point of clarity -- Obama has never stuck up for infanticide. Never -- not once -- except in the fevered dreams of Jill Stanek and Rush Limbaugh.

After another break, Davis noted that Obama is also going to be speaking at Arizona State, and that people are being told to show up four hours ahead of time and wait in the midday Arizona sun. Davis said it would be easy to attack Obama for inconveniencing these people, but every president has to go through this -- wherever they go it becomes an instant nightmare for everyone. Then he took a call from a self-identified conservative deist who wondered if there was room for conservative atheists in the new Mark Davis Republican big tent. “Sure!” was the response. If you're a hardcore atheist who also believes in lower taxes and winning the war, then, of course, you can be a Republican.

One more break and one more caller before the hour ended, this one from a woman who teaches at a large Michigan university claiming that the communications program at her school is run by a radical liberal who indoctrinates the “young blondes” who go on TV as Republican strategists. Davis thanked her for pointing out that even the young conservatives on TV are having their minds “poisoned” by liberals.

Highlights from Hour 2

Outrageous comments

DAVIS: The pool I want to fill, in Republican land, is a pool filled with the water of liberty and personal responsibility, and low taxes, and strong limited government, and, really, in the very short term, doing our damndest to stop this poisonous agenda that has been jammed down America's esophagus for the last 110 or so days. Now that doesn't mean I want to be negative. I don't. But in order to bring about the positives of liberty and of low taxes and small government -- in order to get to the positives of this, you've got to stop the negatives.

It's like health. Your health, your doctor -- you're looking out for your own health. What are the two things that you need to do? Promote the positives: good diet, exercise, clean living, but also, if you get some horrible disease, you need to cure it -- and that might be what you need to do first. You know, if you've got a tumor, let's get the tumor out and then talk about whether you're, you know, eating a carrot stick and taking a walk. First things first.

[...]

DAVIS: As I've said, if you take a look at current events, we laugh lest we cry. So the Republic still hangs by a thread. We are probably in greater danger from terror because of the softness of the current administration, but, sometimes, you just got to have a chuckle.

America's guest-Truth Rejector

Davis falsely claimed Obama “stick[s] up for infanticide”:

DAVIS: Should the people have been able to say that the president was not pro-choice or even pro-abortion choice, but pro-abortion? You know, when you stick up for infanticide like this guy has, you know, when -- I mean, I -- listen, I believe there are -- I know some people who are pro-choice, who are thrilled if someone puts a baby up for adoption, who are thrilled if someone chooses to keep the baby.

Pro-choicers, they're good for the good; great. They don't want to terminate -- a pregnancy to be terminated, but if that's what a woman chooses to do, she should have that right. Blah blah blah. So I know pro-choicers. I've been around pro-choicers. Pro-choicers are friends of mine.

This president, man, I -- there are some people I think who are so radical about this that they do begin to give off a vibe of actually being pro-abortion.