This hour of the Limbaugh Wire was, thankfully, the last hour of “Uighur Wednesday”
By Simon Maloy

Steyn got the last hour going with a few more observations on cap and trade. One of the more “ridiculous” aspects of cap and trade, he said, is that it marks a new low in this whole climate change thing. And speaking of “new lows,” Steyn then offered his explanation of what carbon credits are: “You know these carbon credits that you trade back and forth and supposedly enable you to carry on polluting, and, in return, a terrorist mastermind living at the back of a smelly cave in Waziristan, he agrees not to use his cell phone 'cause every time he does do it, the Pentagon will launch a missile at his cave. So he agrees to downgrade his carbon footprint, and, in return, you get to go and pollute a bit more.” No idea what he was talking about on that one... Regardless, Steyn said that cap and trade will not do anything to save the planet, but it's going to do an awful lot to destroy the U.S. economy.

Then Steyn took a call from a gentleman who, after explaining how Rush turned him from the path of liberalism, offered his synopsis of what's going on with the economy and the government today. There's one side in this debate, he said, that is saying that if you give them the power, they'll fix everything, while the other side is saying that we should get out of the way and it will fix itself, but what's more palatable to the public is the “We will fix your pain” message. So, said the caller, one party is telling the truth, but the American people don't want to hear it. Steyn says he's exactly right, and that argument has power for as long as it stands up. Health care is the game-changer though, said Steyn, and once you accept government health care, it empowers the government to annex large portions of your life. The state is essentially annexing your body, said Steyn, and once you accept the principle that the government has authority over your health, it's much easier to accept government control of other aspects of your life. This is the nationalization of your body.

And, Steyn continued, they want to do this in five weeks. There is no way you can do this in five weeks and not have disastrous consequences, particularly to individual liberty. This will do nothing to affect life expectancies, said Steyn, but it will redefine the relationship between the citizen and the state in ways that are incompatible with the concept of liberty. And, he added, we're arguing about a problem that, for the most part, does not exist. Life expectancy is high all across the developed world. There is no difference to the outcomes -- every country that has child mortality under control will have higher life expectancy. Besides the fact that many Americans undoubtedly consider it a fairly big deal that the American life expectancy rate is several years below that of many other advanced industrial democracies -- including our northern brother Canada, with its dreaded single-payer system -- it never seemed to occur to Steyn that national health care is not simply about life expectancy, but also access to health care and quality of life.

Speaking of Canada, after the break, Steyn turned our attention to a Globe and Mail article about the leader of a Toronto paramedics union who was accused of stealing an ambulance after “issu[ing] a threat to withdraw the services of CUPE's paramedics during Gay Pride festivities on the last weekend of June.” This, as you might have guessed, was hilarious to Steyn: "[Y]ou know, and that's a serious issue. If you're in -- if you fall off the float at the gay pride parade -- you know, and if you've seen the gay pride parade, you'll know that a lot of those outfits you don't want to have an accident in. I mean, if you're like one of those fellas wearing ... the thong in the size too -- size is too small, you fall off the float and you grace yourself with -- I mean, if you're like wearing a plaid coat, you won't feel a thing. But if you fall off the float and you're just wearing a thong, that could really hurt."

Steyn then took a call from a woman who worked for a managed care organization, and she said that every dollar is accounted for, so she wanted to know how they're going to deliver care to people under national health care. Steyn says if you're diagnosed with cancer in Quebec, you wait for treatment, and just as your cancer metastasizes, they send you to a hospital in the U.S.

After another break, Steyn came back with a little treat for us -- he sang Michael Jackson songs, inserting the word “Uighur” into them... Thankfully, Greg stopped us just as we were about to bury the ice pick into our ear drums, so we were still able to hear Steyn's next caller, who said that in the health care debate, no one is talking about how to personally empower individuals in their own health. Steyn said health care would be simpler if you just pay as you go, but nobody knows what health care costs at this point because they've put so many other parties in between the doctor and the patient. There's no point trying to insure against things that are going to happen anyway, said Steyn, like routine visits to the doctor. You're only adding to the cost of the transaction by inserting the third party between the doctor and the patient.

Steyn's next caller said that his father in England has been sick lately and has gone through the system, and it hasn't been quite as bad as Steyn makes it out to be. Steyn wasn't having any of that, saying that his father has been sick in England, too, and he picked up three bacterial infections in three different hospitals. So there. Anyway, the caller then said that his bigger point is that there is no focus on prevention, and it's not about socialized medicine versus private health care, because both have failed miserably, just look at how many people are uninsured. Steyn also objected to this, saying that 10 million of the uninsured are illegal aliens, 9 million of them are entitled to coverage under Medicare but haven't signed up; the dominant group among the uninsured are young people who don't want insurance, and the fastest growing group are the ones who can afford to pay as they go. As our friends at the Wonk Room point out, though, it's something of a myth to say that the uninsured are comprised of illegal immigrants and those who don't want insurance. What it comes down to, said Steyn, is that an unjust and unfair private system is still better than an unjust and unfair government system.

After one more break, Steyn came back for one more caller, this one a paramedic from Oregon who said that her state has socialized medicine, and no one talks about the abuses that patients put on the system when their health care is free, like a woman who called 911 because she had a yeast infection. Steyn said that's a great point, that's what happens when you have a government system. People use the emergency room as a substitute when they don't want to wait around in the doctor's office, and if you think it's bad now, wait until nationalized health care kicks in.

And that's it for day one of Mark Steyn. We might be back for day two tomorrow, then again we might just go ahead and slam our head in the car door and take a sick day. I'd say we're about 50-50 at this point. As you anxiously wait to see whether we'll commit grievous bodily harm on ourselves, we encourage all of you to relive Rush and co.'s greatest hits via our ever-growing and all-knowing Limbaugh Wire archives.

Greg Lewis and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

STEYN: You know these carbon credits that you trade back and forth and supposedly enable you to carry on polluting, and, in return, a terrorist mastermind living at the back of a smelly cave in Waziristan, he agrees not to use his cell phone 'cause every time he does do it, the Pentagon will launch a missile at his cave. So he agrees to downgrade his carbon footprint, and, in return, you get to go and pollute a bit more.

[...]

STEYN: This is what you're in for under socialized health care. You won't be able to get an ambulance during gay pride week, you know, and that's a serious issue. If you're in -- if you fall off the float at the gay pride parade -- you know, and if you've seen the gay pride parade, you'll know that a lot of those outfits you don't want to have an accident in.

I mean, if you're like one of those fellas wearing the, you know, the -- just like in the -- the slightly -- the thong in the size too -- size is too small, you fall off the float and you grace yourself with -- I mean, if you're like wearing a plaid coat, you won't feel a thing. But if you fall off the float and you're just wearing a thong, that could really hurt.

You know, on the other hand, if you -- I guess if you do ever call 911, you know the first thing the paramedics do is they loosen all your clothing. So, I guess if you're wearing a thong, you're already there. Or in the -- or you're wearing like the tight leather shorts with the cutaway buttocks, they don't have to cut anything away, do you?