Rush whined about his listeners, Toyota hearings, and Obama

By Christine Schwen

Rush kicked off the show today decrying the “grilling of Toyota” in congressional hearings this week, wondering, “Does anyone doubt ... that Toyota does a good job making safe affordable cars?” I'm not sure that all of the hearing attendees would agree. Continuing on the subject, Rush asked why we're having hearings on Toyota instead of health care reform. After all, Rush reasoned, only “a tiny percentage of Toyota owners are affected” by the malfunctioning cars, while everyone will be affected by health care reform. He suggested that Congress is only having hearings on Toyota because their employees don't belong to the UAW. Behold:

LIMBAUGH: There's only one thing that Toyota does wrong and that is they don't hire UAW workers and pay them an average salary of 73 grand including benefits, and that's why Toyota is being hung out to dry. And I, folks, you know, I have to -- I have to laugh here 'cause this is a teachable moment. An organization is accused of selling a defective product that unintentionally harms people who buy the product -- a product marketed and sold to keep millions of people safe. Are we talking about Toyotas or are we talking about Obama's health care plan? Toyota is being accused of careless, reckless behavior in producing a defective product, by Congress -- by Congress! This is chutzpah.

At the same time, Obama and Congress have manufactured a health care product, Obamacare, that is a ticking time bomb of design flaws. I mean, the difference between Toyotas and Obamacare is that nobody's forced to buy a Toyota. The difference is a tiny percentage of Toyota owners are affected whereas all Americans will be forced to buy a health care product that is riddled with design flaws, weakens the company selling them, and puts the buyer at great personal risk. And the worst thing about it is, is that the CEO of this will not be subject to recall, meaning Obama.

Rush added that we're watching the “death of the country” from President Obama's health care reform, and then said that we could look at the future by flying to Greece. He predicted that we're headed for Greece's fate, because CNN reported that new home sales fell to a record low -- which Rush blamed on Obama.

Then Rush took a break from predicting the country's imminent demise to take the blame for ESPN host Tony Kornheiser's recent suspension, stating that all radio was inspired by him. He also criticized Kornheiser for attacking colleague Hannah Storm's appearance. Rush then said Kornheiser shouldn't attack Storm's appearance considering “Kornheiser is so ugly he'd make a freight train take a dirt road.”

After the break, Rush announced that Democrats are trying to stir up trouble between him and Sen. Scott Brown. Rush clarified that while the thinks Brown's vote on the jobs bill, or “stimulus II,” as Rush called it, was wrong, he never said he hated Brown. In fact, Rush is sure that if the House “lards it up,” then Brown will vote against it.

And then we got really excited, because Rush declared he was going to “clear up” the “confusion” about the nuclear option, something Fox News has had ongoing trouble with. We had real hope that Rush was going to perform this desperately needed public service, but alas, it was not to be. Despite correctly identifying the term “nuclear option” as arising from the confirmation process, his explanation went awry when he claimed that “now the nuclear option is called reconciliation.” So close, Rush, and yet, so far. Rush added that he has a tape of Vice President Biden and other Democrats calling the nuclear option a naked power grab. Unfortunately, instead of realizing that he was the one confused, Rush concluded that this is because “Democrats lie.”

He then scoffed about Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner's assurance that he'll balance spending with fiscal responsibility and went to break.

Rush came back, jeering at Obama's arrogance for making Democratic members of Congress shoot their election bids in the foot by working on health care, while Politico reported that Obama's already working on his own re-election bid.

Wish we were kidding: Rush spanked himself for disappointing viewers

Now we at the Limbaugh Wire have developed a sturdy constitution from our daily Rush doses, but those of you who are not Rushologists need to know: What happened next was not pretty. It all started when Rush took a call from another fan who was mad at him for “going after Glenn Beck,” something Rush hotly disputed. See, Rush has had a flood of calls and emails recently from fans who are disappointed that he hasn't realized that the GOP is as bad as the Democratic Party. Rush expressed his extreme frustration that this faction of his fans think he's gone astray. In order to solve the problem, Rush did what he assumed this faction of his listeners want to do to him: he spanked himself. Rush promised that it was going to be a treat for those of us watching the ditto cam, but we at the Limbaugh Wire are here to say: It. Was. Not. Never one to waste a moment of sexism, Rush added that he “could have done that while looking at a photo of Hannah Storm.”

Back from a desperately needed break Rush took a caller who said she loves him and said that her uncaring professor attacked him yesterday, saying he dodged the war. Rush answered that these kooks like her professor are everywhere, but they are also a small minority. Glad he cleared that up. Rush added that if this country were made up of people like her professor, then we would have had Obama win in a landslide and health would be more popular.

Rush then shifted to the health care summit. An exasperated and wildly gesticulating Rush explained that this “party of no” stuff is a farce, because Democrats had 60 votes in the Senate and “who knows how many votes in the House,” and they still couldn't get anything passed. He added that the summit is a setup, and that Obama is just trying to make them look foolish. Then Rush played a clip of Sen. Bart Stupak opposing the bill, in order to prove that it's bad.

Rush whined about his listeners the rest of the show

Rush began the second hour by stating that if you know Democrats, then you would understand why they would want to defend accused terrorists at Guantánamo. He repeated his complaint that his listeners think the GOP is “just as bad” as the Democrats.

Turning to the economy, Rush discussed the “bloodletting out there,” reading that ABC will cut 300 positions. Naturally, Rush blamed the unions and the “drive-by media.” He then stated that “we're not hearing stories like this” at Fox, Rush's own EIB, or the new media. He also predicted that a sell-off is coming. Later, Rush suggested that if they just charged the DNC for all the “unpaid ads” in its “left wing” content, then the party could solve its fiscal difficulties.

Rush concluded that ABC's problem is content. He then helpfully suggested that the “news babes” like Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer give some of their salary back to help the struggling company. I'm sure EIB employees were delighted to know that Rush considers that a reasonable option.

Back from break, Rush read from a New York Times blog post titled, “Are We Overpaying Grandpa?” to assert that “the war on the elderly continues.” Rush explained that the reasons we pay the elderly so much is because “they are the ones who vote.” Incredibly, he managed to link this blog post to his favorite claims: that there are death panels in the health care bill. We were listening to him and even we aren't sure quite how he did it, it was a little bit like listening to a verbal magic act.

After another break, Rush went back to ranting about the fans who think the Republicans are just as bad as Democrats. Mercifully, he chose not to spank himself again.

Rush then moved back to talking about the “nuclear option,” by which he meant reconciliation (again, Rush: not the same thing). He falsely claimed that reconciliation is “not used for health care,” then played clips of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and other Democrats talking about the actual nuclear option, and claimed that they're now trying to do what they were previously against. Then Rush, not one to miss an opportunity, used Reid's recent comments about the link between unemployment and the domestic abuse rate to mock domestic abuse. Funny. He continued with several more clips of Democrats opposing the nuclear option. It never once occurred to Rush that they were talking about something else entirely.

Rush then read from a report finding that states have reported the fifth consecutive drop in tax collections in the fourth quarter in 2009, but fortunately he said he has a solution: in order to combat decreased tax collections, states should lower taxes. He then complained, again, about his anti-GOP fans, whining, “but the Republicans are just as bad.”

Then Rush told a fawning caller who said Rush has more viewers between 50th and 64th Street in Manhattan than CNN has total, before cutting him off and going to break.

Rush: Toyota hearings look like a war crimes trial

Rush started hour three with a whimper. He briefly attacked IPCC chief Rajendra Pachauri, complained that the U.K. will post neighbors' energy usage on bills to inspire competition, again declared his undying love for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, this time for reportedly “getting into the muck” of New Jersey's fiscal situation, before, once again, whining about his fans who think Democrats and Republicans are similarly corrupt. Rush shouted: “I'm sorry, what was I thinking? They're all the same,” and then became so overcome by his misguided fans, he headed back to break.

Rush returned from break again ready to face his fans. He took a caller who said he likes to blast Rush's show with the windows open, and artfully tied that into an ad for BG Products, Inc. Next, he heard from a caller who thinks Obama and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's agenda amounts to declaring war on the American public. Rush thought that was “a little strong,” but flip-flopped, deciding that “it's getting harder and harder not to think” the Democrats are destroying the country “on purpose.”

He then discussed a new effort in Los Angeles to track down people who failed to license their dogs. Rush noted that the licensing cost for unsterilized, or unaltered, dogs is higher than for sterilized dogs and then asked: What about all the unaltered people in California? He also wondered how they can find unlicensed dogs in Los Angeles, but not the illegal immigrants.

After the break, Rush -- you guessed it -- complained about his listeners who think “there's not a dime's worth of difference” between Republicans and Democrats. He then pivoted to complaining about Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for reportedly saying that domestic politics is hurting the U.S. abroad.

Rush then announced that the Toyota hearings look like a war crimes trial, and said that it's a mistake to be showing pictures of the hearings. He added that there are a lot of Toyotas on the road because people like them. He repeated that the only reason Congress is having hearings is because Toyota doesn't have UAW employees. He really couldn't think of another reason why Congress would want to talk about Toyota's fatally malfunctioning cars.

He then turned back to health care, saying that the only purpose to the health care summit tomorrow is to push the blame for health care onto Congress as an attempt to raise Obama's poll numbers.

After the break, Rush declared that “Chi-Coms” aren't going to like that the Japanese executives are being grilled by Congress, and then said that the congressmen must be thinking, “What would FDR do?” Next, Rush said a Toyota executive spoke in broken English in order to show respect for the members of Congress holding the hearing. He then aired a clip of the executive testifying and, as we could see on the ditto cam, he started laughing. Rush repeated that the congressmen in the hearing must be channeling FDR, and then -- apparently satisfied that no further explanation was needed -- went to break.

Then Rush showed us the new Zicam spray, asked why we don't talk about government growing too quickly, and called it a day.

Michael Timberlake and Kitty Kaletsky contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Well, we're going on now the second day of the grilling of Toyota, as Henry “Nostralitus” Waxman refers to the company. Does anybody really doubt, ladies and gentlemen, that Toyota does a good job making safe, affordable cars? I mean, there's so many of them out there. Does anybody doubt they have done their best to kowtow to the environmentalist wackos? So why the Spanish Inquisition? Why is this happening?

There's only one thing that Toyota does wrong and that is they don't hire UAW workers and pay them an average salary of 73 grand including benefits, and that's why Toyota is being hung out to dry. And I, folks, you know, I have to -- I have to laugh here 'cause this is a teachable moment. An organization is accused of selling a defective product that unintentionally harms people who buy the product -- a product marketed and sold to keep millions of people safe. Are we talking about Toyotas or are we talking about Obama's health care plan? Toyota is being accused of careless, reckless behavior in producing a defective product, by Congress -- by Congress! This is chutzpah.

At the same time, Obama and Congress have manufactured a health care product, Obamacare, that is a ticking time bomb of design flaws. I mean, the difference between Toyotas and Obamacare is that nobody's forced to buy a Toyota. The difference is a tiny percentage of Toyota owners are affected whereas all Americans will be forced to buy a health care product that is riddled with design flaws, weakens the company selling them, and puts the buyer at great personal risk. And the worst thing about it is, is that the CEO of this will not be subject to recall, meaning Obama. These hearings are taking place just as Obama's one-day-only political theater opens.