By Chrissy Schwen

But enough about Rush, let's talk about Rush

Rush opened up his show fresh off his appearance on Fox News Sunday, which Rush called “news church.” Rush then reminded us that he didn't say anything that he hasn't said on his show (something we at the Limbaugh Wire were already well aware of). And just in case you wanted an unbiased opinion about Rush's performance at “news church,” Rush announced that Snerdley thought his appearance was a “home run.” Glad that's settled.

Rush departed, briefly, from the discussion of himself to tell us that he was amazed that people have applauded Hillary Clinton's “tough talk” to the Pakistani people. Following his conservative colleagues, Rush ignored the bulk of Clinton's comments, telling us only that Clinton said, “You guys don't have enough taxes here. We tax everything that moves and doesn't move in America. You don't do that.” Rush then added: "[I]sn't that what the left hated about George W. Bush, the iron-fisted cowboy George Bush, loose-lipped and so forth?" Here at the Limbaugh Wire, we aren't so sure that's what the Bush criticism was focused on.

Back to his favorite topic, himself, Rush reviewed an Associated Press article on his interview. The AP story disappointed Rush for several reasons, including the glaring misinformation that they falsely claimed the interview was conducted in his home (because, as we learned from a better, dittohead-approved article, Rush's home is more “aspirational”).

More than the “state-run AP,” Rush was upset with David Axelrod's criticism of Rush's appearance. Rush told us that the Axelrod's real problem with his appearance with that he called Obama “a man-child.” However, Rush was “proud” that he called Obama a man-child, and to ensure he was correct he consulted an unimpeachable source:

LIMBAUGH: And what they're really, really having a problem with out there is that I call Obama a man-child -- a man-child. Oh, they're just freaking out over that. Do you know what a man-child is? I'll -- it hits -- go look it up in the urban dictionary.

I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary, and here's what it says; “A man-child is a fully grown male that acts like a baby. A man-child usually whines, complains, and thinks everything is unfair. Man-children in the workplace can be recognized as one who is always complaining about the rules and/or shows too much emotion.”

And Obama is constantly whining and complaining about Bush and what he inherited. He whines and complains about everything. He's a man-child. I'm proud I said it. I'm shouting it: He's a man-child!

Even more outrageous, Axelrod dismissed Limbaugh as just “an entertainer.” Rush wanted to know: Does the White House consider him an entertainer, or is he the head of the Republican Party, or both? Rush wanted to know why the White House hasn't answered his “informed criticism” of the White House. Always eager to help, Media Matters has provided a discussion of Rush's criticism on FNS.

Rush: Scozzafava “has screwed every RINO in the country”

At this point, Limbaugh departed from the topic of the day, possibly because, as he noted: “As you know, I'm just terribly, terribly uncomfortable talking about myself.” Instead he turned to the special election in New York, and the news that Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava had suspended her campaign. Limbaugh imparted this important wisdom about Scozzafava:

LIMBAUGH: Scozzafava has screwed every RINO in the coun -- we can say that she's guilty of widespread bestiality. She has screwed every RINO in the country. Everyone can see just how phony and dangerous they are.

Rush went on to rant about RINOs (Republicans in name only) for a while, telling us that they can't be trusted and that if you vote them into office you're going to get terrible things like amnesty, cap-and-trade bills, and TARP bailouts. Rush did not clarify whether or not President Bush, as a RINO who gave us TARP bailouts, would have to leave the GOP.

Rush then moved on to the United Auto Workers union, and how it is intent on bankrupting Ford. Always one to help the mainstream media, Rush suggested that the headline of this AP article on how Ford reported a $1 billion profit in the third quarter be changed to read “Ford Surprises by Having a Profit; Angry Unions Vow to Redouble Efforts to Sink the Automaker.” In an apparent turnaround on the Cash for Clunkers program, Rush added that the American consumer rejected Obama's interference in the auto industry by buying so many Fords.

Rush -- Rush! -- complains about Obama's “too-bloated of an ego”

After the break Rush, who as we've already covered knows a thing or two about ego, was concerned about Obama's ego:

LIMBAUGH: He promises unemployment is going to continue to rise, but he's open to ideas: “Ooh, yeah. If somebody can show me a strategy that's gonna work, we're happy to consider.” I thought you had all the answers. I thought you won. I thought you had all the answers. You don't listen to anybody else's ideas; your too-bloated of an ego will not allow anybody else's ideas inside your skull. This is insulting.

Rush then wanted to know why Obama won't listen to his ideas. We might have a few possible reasons.

Next, when a caller suggested that the White House paid the family of a fallen service member in order to get them to approve media's coverage of his transfer at Dover, Rush told her she's going too far ... but she may have a point.

Back to the topic of the day: Rush moved on to discuss Vice President Joe Biden's criticism of him, went on to call Biden a “great threat,” and joked that “as an entertainer and the head of the Republican Party ... I'm going to see to it that every moderate Republican becomes a Democrat and just make it official.”

After another break, Rush told us that he had his best all-time call: a felon called into the show to tell Rush that he had an “awakening” to capitalism when Rush discussed his net worth on Sunday. Rush tells us that your worth is whatever somebody will pay you.

Rush then played not one, not two, not three, but five separate clips from Sunday's misinformation-plagued interview.

Rush's next caller wanted to know what the GOP can do to get young people to vote Republican. Rush was not optimistic because liberalism owns the entertainment industry, but then Snerdley reminded Rush that young people like his show. Rush noted that young people like this show because he's hip.

Next, Rush returned to the New York special election with a caller. Rush noted that they're polling the Limbaugh effect (which is not quite as effective as the Colbert bump). And in a stunning turn around from the previous hour, Rush announced that his party is a big-tent party:

LIMBAUGH: When Axelrod goes on TV, says, “Oh, the Republicans are throwing away valued moderates, their big tent philosophy,” they're trying to pick our candidates, because they want us to continue to pick losers. The last thing we ought to be doing is listening to them tell us what they think we ought to be. They got enough problems being who they are. They are the real danger.

We are a big tent party. Our tent is the United States of America. We want everybody in this country in our party, and we do not look at people and see skin color, sexual orientation, or gender, or ethnicity. We see Americans. We have a message that appeals to Americans.

Rush then noted that the "fraudsters at ACORN, SEIU" are ready to affect the elections tomorrow, that this is the Super Bowl for the fraudsters, and that a Republican will never win in a state with a Democratic secretary of state.

Next, Rush took a call from a listener who suggested that Rahm Emanuel is the one actually running the White House, but Rush thinks it's actually Mayor Daley.

Rush then moved on to the Drudge Report-hyped story, “Atlanta poised to elect white mayor.” Rush wanted to know why that's news, and, like last week, he noted that he lives in a colorblind society, and so he doesn't understand why that's news.

H1N1 vaccine refusenik Rush upset that Guantánamo detainees will get vaccinated

Then Rush asked why the detainees at Guantánamo are going to get the H1N1 vaccine when kids in the Midwest can't even get it. Although, considering Rush's feelings on the H1N1 vaccine, we're not sure why Rush wants Midwestern kids to have it.

Now back to criticizing members of his “big tent,” Rush took on squishy moderates like former Rep. Tom Davis, saying that the last time Davis won was when he was on a conservative platform. He then bashed David Brooks, who has become Obama's lapdog.

After a break, Rush read an email from Rep. Michele Bachmann, who plans to stop health care reform by encouraging people to come to Capitol Hill and look their members “in the whites of their eyes.” Rush noted that Jon Voight, Mark Levin, and Betsy McCaughey have all signed on for this event. Bachmann told Rush in the email that if they can kill health care reform now, they can kill it for 10 years.

In the final segment of the show, Rush took on the hysteria over H1N1 and compared it to secondhand smoke, because the danger of secondhand smoke is also based on hysteria, and "it does not kill you." So glad he cleared that up.

Zachary Aronow and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Did you see that several people on the morning shows today are applauding Hillary Clinton for her tough talk in Pakistan to the Pakistani people? Where she says, “You guys don't have enough taxes here. We tax everything that moves and doesn't move in America. You don't do that here.” Now, isn't that what the left hated about George W. Bush, the iron-fisted cowboy George Bush, loose-lipped and so forth?

Now they're praising Hillary for going over there? “We tax everything. We tax everything that moves and everything that doesn't move.” Boy, she got that right. And they're gonna tax even more.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: And what they're really, really having a problem with out there is that I call Obama a man-child -- a man-child. Oh, they're just freaking out over that. Do you know what a man-child is? I'll -- it hits -- go look it up in the urban dictionary.

I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary, and here's what it says; “A man-child is a fully grown male that acts like a baby. A man-child usually whines, complains, and thinks everything is unfair. Man-children in the workplace can be recognized as one who is always complaining about the rules and/or shows too much emotion.”

And Obama is constantly whining and complaining about Bush and what he inherited. He whines and complains about everything. He's a man-child. I'm proud I said it. I'm shouting it: He's a man-child!

[...]

LIMBAUGH: So, this headline, “Ford Reports Surprise $1 Billion Profit” needs to be rewritten: “Ford Surprises by Having a Profit; Angry Unions Vow to Redouble Efforts to Sink the Automaker.”

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Mr. President, we have a model that works. It's the past 200 years. We have a model that works. Your bold, innovative actions are what is destroying the country. You're not building anything. You're not creating anything. You're not saving anything, Mr. President; you are destroying it. And you are going to continue this destruction as you abandon 200-plus years of capitalism, freedom, and growth, and replace it with your -- whatever you want to call it.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: He promises unemployment is going to continue to rise, but he's open to ideas: “Ooh, yeah. If somebody can show me a strategy that's gonna work, we're happy to consider.” I thought you had all the answers. I thought you won. I thought you had all the answers. You don't listen to anybody else's ideas; your too-bloated of an ego will not allow anybody else's ideas inside your skull. This is insulting.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: You know, how lucky am I? Folks, how lucky am I to be attacked by Joe Biden? I mean, former Vice President Joe Biden. That's about the most unfair fight I can think of. They just keep -- it's Christmas every day for me. Every morning is Christmas morning; that's what my life is. Joe Biden -- I don't know if people write this stuff for him or if he thinks it up for himself, but as for conservatism being absolutism, why don't you grow up and reacquaint yourself with our Constitution, Mr. former Vice President?

I'll bet he thinks the Founding Fathers were absolutists. I'll bet he thinks the American Revolution was unnecessary; that instead the colonists should've negotiated some deal with the king. You see, Joe, you seem to think that liberty and private property and capitalism are extremist views. Been in public office since you were in your mid-20s, you've never had to earn an honest living; you've never participated in the market system; you don't understand what makes this nation work, and that's why you pose a great threat.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: But you mention the election fraud. I'll tell you what: Tomorrow's gonna be a dry run for Democrat mischief and malfeasance, getting ready for 2010 and 2012. ACORN, SEIU, the New Black Panthers, they get their equivalent of the Super Bowl Tuesday.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Folks, I'm giving -- being given a lot of credit here that I don't deserve for this, but I've -- I have to step in here. I have been listening to the sound bites of yesterday, and I've been seeing some things on television today, that I put Hoffman over the top; that I am the energy behind Doug Hoffman; that he's in the race because of me; that I single-handedly -- well, not single-handedly, but with the sheer force of my existence forced DeDe Scozzafava out of the race.

And my friends, I throw up my hands in humility and honesty here, I didn't have anything to do with it. No, no, no, no. As best I can tell, Laura Ingraham and Joe Scarborough hand-picked Doug Hoffman.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: When Axelrod goes on TV, says, “Oh, the Republicans are throwing away valued moderates, their big tent philosophy,” they're trying to pick our candidates, because they want us to continue to pick losers. The last thing we ought to be doing is listening to them tell us what they think we ought to be. They got enough problems being who they are. They are the real danger.

We are a big tent party. Our tent is the United States of America. We want everybody in this country in our party, and we do not look at people and see skin color, sexual orientation, or gender, or ethnicity. We see Americans. We have a message that appeals to Americans.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Along the lines of what we were just talking about, the story here in the Politico today, “Conservatives take aim at leaders, Crist, other races.” " 'If you look at the bellwether races, we're still going to be on opposing sides,' said Brandon" -- this is Adam Brandon, the spokesman for FreedomWorks, an organization to help gin up the tea party protests and town hall flares. No, those happened on their own. Nobody ginned those up.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: This is what happens when you make people hysterical about something. And hysteria is what informs people about the dangers of secondhand smoke. It's not -- they may or may not like it, but it does not kill you. But everybody thinks it does.

Ego on loan from Narcissus

LIMBAUGH: As you know, I'm just terribly, terribly uncomfortable talking about myself.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: You are listening to the brand. If it's film, it's Kodak. If it's copiers, it's Xerox. If it's conservatism, it's Rush.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Well, Mr. Snerdley asked a question: How come so many youth listen to me? Because I'm cool; 'cause I'm hip; because it's a good show; and because they love learning. They love learning.

Enemies list

LIMBAUGH: Scozzafava has screwed every RINO in the coun -- we can say that she's guilty of widespread bestiality. She has screwed every RINO in the country. Everyone can see just how phony and dangerous they are.