By Adam Shah

It's open-line Friday, but Rush Limbaugh told us he has less help than usual because engineers couldn't make it in because of the snow. Rush also said he stayed up late the night before with a lot of revelry, so it's gonna be “one of those days.”

Limbaugh began the show by asking: If you're President Obama and you're gonna spam conservative radio talkers and create a website to help people in doing so, why would you leave out the show with the largest audience? Obama robots can go to a website to learn how to get on talk radio hosts' shows, Rush said, calling the people who will respond “Obama seminar callers.” Rush clicked on all the possible shows to get on, and they didn't include him. It has to be intentional. Maybe their spammers already know how to get on. Maybe their spammers know they can't get by Mr. Snerdley, said Rush, adding that maybe they know they won't stand a chance if they do get you on the show.

Rush: For progressives to defend health care reform, they have to willingly lie

Rush went through the tips to get on the show: “Be polite and respectful” is not something the left can do, he asserted. Rush put together a montage of what he called Democrat [sic] sob stories. This is a strategy Dems have used for 30-40 years. Then Rush went through the tips for what to say. Liberals would have to willingly lie, he said, but that's what leftists do.

Rush then found out that he's on the list after all, declaring that he knew it was an oversight, contradicting what he had said a couple of minutes before.

Rush: New York Democrats hate black governors or candidates for governor

Rush then asked, what is it about the party that Democrats hate black governors or gubernatorial candidates in New York? He says The New York Times has now taken down the second governor in a row: first Elliot Spitzer, now David Paterson.

Why didn't Paterson call the Clintons? They know how to deal with bimbo eruptions. This is a rerun, Rush said -- aides threatening people, “rough sex.” Kathleen Willey, Juanita Broaddrick, Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers. Just kill her cat.

Switching gears, Rush said the murderous killer whale was at the tea party protesters. Some blogger Photoshopped the killer whale into a tea party audience. Clever, Rush said.

After noting that people take aspirin to deal with heart disease, Rush highlighted a Wall Street Journal article saying that daily aspirin can lead to bleeding ulcers. As Rush went to break, he asked: If aspirin is going to kill us, why should we go on?

After the break, Rush asked if there were any seminar callers yet. Rush asks, “none?” He then praised Snerdley for being able to sniff out such callers. Rush segued into a discussion of the health care summit, saying that there was no praise for Obama.

He criticized Politico for saying that Republicans seemed reasonable. “As if that's odd,” said Rush, adding that, to the mainstream media, it seems odd.

An article on truth-squadding Obama showed that Obama, Reid, and Harkin were all lying. So the media were all forced to call it a tie. That means, according to Rush, that the GOP won -- Rep. Ryan handed Obama his lunch; Rep. Cantor was also great. Rush promised audio clips. Rush then played an old spoof from the 1990s in which James Carville called for people to call in to radio talk show hosts. Rush gloated that he's “ahead of the game.”

Coming back from break, Rush again asked about seminar callers. He's disappointed not to have one. Rush again lauded Snerdley. He then moves on to reading an article from the Heritage Foundation claiming that health care reform is dead. Rush then moves on to the promised Rep. Ryan comments saying that the bill is a Ponzi scheme, saying those comments drove Obama nuts. Obama was seething, according to Rush -- Obama had two fingers on his lips, but one of them was emphasized. Obama's done this before, he says.

Rush said he wants to hear from the people who were telling him earlier that the parties were both the same, adding that he wanted to see how they can still think that now. Rush then played clips from Rep. Pence appearing on MSNBC with Andrea Mitchell in which Pence attacked Obama for telling McCain that we have to get away from talking points when all Obama said was talking points. Rush then played a clip of Pence saying we need to scrap the plan.

Rush imagines the Canadian women's hockey team out of uniform

Continuing on the same topic, Rush said of the summit: None of this went according to plan, Republicans were supposed to be shamed into never showing their faces again. They were supposed to be run over like a Zamboni. Speaking of which, Rush jumped to the Canadian women's hockey team, which had been playing in the Olympic the day before. Rush lauded them for having cigars. This led to a discussion in which Rush imagined what happens “when you get their hockey uniforms off of 'em”:

LIMBAUGH: Obama was supposed to have just run over them like a Zamboni machine getting the ice ready.

Oh, did you see -- speaking of that -- the women's Canadian hockey team celebrating after their victory? Did you -- champagne and cigars! The babes were smoking cigars. They won and they came back out on the ice. The fans are going nuts out there. They're pouring beer and champagne into each other's mouths -- Yeah! is exactly right. Then they start puffing on the stogies. Oh, yeah!

And I'm thinking, where are the NAGs now? Where are the NAGs now? 'Cause they're some real women. And I'll bet you when you get their hockey uniforms off of 'em -- I'll bet they're -- I'll bet you they're -- in different clothes, Snerdley! Would you just -- I'm just saying, I'll bet you these are real women. I'm just -- I'm just -- bet you they are.

(Limbaugh calls NOW “NAGS, the National Association of Gals.”)

Rush then went on to the legislation introduced that would have made interrogating people with cruel and inhumane methods illegal. Why was it introduced? Rush asked, then answered: Because they learned that waterboarding was not illegal under current law because of the report that came out.

Rush then asked if there are more seminar callers. And when he learns no, he goes back to more lauding of Pence's appearance on MSNBC.

After yet another break, Rush took his first open-line Friday who bashed Democrats and praised Limbaugh. He then attacked the Democrats' plans for health care reform and their criticism of Anthem Blue Cross for its planned massive insurance rate hikes.

Rush then read from an American Spectator article noting Rep. Clyburn's story about a person who would not be able to pay for his post-op medical treatment after a transplant once his Medicare coverage runs out in three years. Rush says, he gets a free transplant, and this is an example of what's wrong with the debate. This guy is getting free medical care, and we're upset that he isn't getting more than three years of free aftercare, Rush said:

LIMBAUGH: By the way, I have a piece here, William Tucker at The American Spectator today, and it's got some interesting little factoids in it:

“About halfway through yesterday's summit, Democrat Congressman James Clyburn of South Carolina told another of the many insurance company horror stories that peppered the proceedings.”

This is Clyburn: “I was talking to a man recently who had undergone a transplant. When he was done, he was horrified to learn that his insurance would only cover follow-up procedures for three years; after that, he'd have to pay with his own money. A gentleman was called in -- he was very, very emotional. He was getting ready to have transplant surgery, but he was told that because he's on Medicare, his post-operative treatments were going to be limited to three years. After that, he's gonna have to pay for it himself. And he was very, very emotional.”

Now, think about that for a moment. This patient was about to receive a transplanted organ -- Clyburn didn't specify what it was -- and the horror -- he's gonna get a -- he's gonna get a totally paid-for transplant. The horror is that he was going to have to start paying his post-op bills in three years.

If this is the worst we can say about American medicine, are we really in that bad a shape after all?

I have a different observation on this. I mean, look at where we are with this. This guy is -- he about had an emotional breakdown 'cause he was told he's gotta start paying his own medical bills after three years. He gets a free transplant; he gets a free after-care for three years and then he's on his own, and he's mad and thinks he's getting screwed.

Closing out the hour, Rush went back to, yes, seminar callers, asking if Obama is getting reports on how many seminar callers are getting through.

Zombie lies: Death panels return

Starting off the second hour, Rush reminded his listeners that it was open line Friday and once again asked if any seminar callers had made it in. He then read a story about a chimpanzee who was sent to rehab after he got addicted to cigarettes and beer. Keeping on the animal theme, Rush started talking about an upcoming press conference on the Sea World killer whale who killed a trainer.

Rush then went back to attacking listeners who thought there wasn't a difference between the two parties, pointing to the new National Journal rankings stating that the most liberal senators were all Democrats, while the most conservative ones were all Republicans. Rush also takes note of the fact that the centrists were all Democrats as well. He doesn't conclude that this is because a) Republicans are more extreme, or b) this is because there are a lot more Democrats in the Senate. Rather, he said, it's because there are no moderates. They're all liberals.

A quick hit from Rush: It wasn't a killer whale that he had seen on TV at the Sea World press conference, it was Rosie O'Donnell.

Rush then moved on to the news that fourth-quarter GDP was revised up. Rush said that this never happens; they always are revised down. But the state-controlled media are not spinning this for Obama. AP said the increase is temporary. Rush adds: When Rahm Emanuel reads this, someone's head is going to be on a chopping block at AP. “Do you know who you're working for?” Rahm will ask.

Rush then played a clip of Kent Conrad saying that there are seniors who are taking unnecessary meds and that we need to deal with that to decrease health care costs. Rush said this shows that there are death panels in the bill:

LIMBAUGH: If you think that the death panels are out of this bill, listen to Kent Conrad.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Now, who do you think this 5 percent using 50 percent of health care money is? Who do you think the chronically ill are? The elderly -- exactly right. And don't forget -- The New York Times declared war on the elderly in one of their blogs this week. We told you about that, about how, you know, these people, they're soaking up all the freebies. They're getting all the benefits. It's just not fair out there. So here's Kent Conrad -- 5 percent use 50 percent -- and you know what else? There are a bunch of druggies walking there and they got 16 different prescriptions when we find out they can get by with eight. You think that there aren't death panels? Think again.

After a break, Rush talked to Snerdley about the name of the band that did the tune playing as his bumper music: Average White Man. Rush then moved on to a story about a program to deal with foreclosures. Rush contends that the program constitutes unconstitutional meddling in the private sector. Rush then takes his second open line Friday caller who thanks Rush for keeping her informed and fit. She downloads Rush's podcast and listens to the show while swimming for a couple of miles a day. Her only complaint is that Rush often makes her laugh, which can be dangerous in the water. Rush and the caller discussed the logistics of how she can listen to Rush while swimming. Rush added: “I hate water.” They also talked about her paying to be able to download Rush's podcasts, and Rush says that he doesn't plug the website and premium membership of his website enough because he's uncomfortable doing so.

Rush: “It's a crock” that some people can't get health coverage in America

After the hour's second commercial break, Rush brought up Rep. Rangel and the ethics committee's decision. Rush said some Democrats are calling for Rangel's gavel, adding that he's pretty sure they must be racist, given where they are from. Politico reported that Rep. Hodes and two people Politico calls “deep-South Democrats” have called for Rangel's gavel. Rush says it must be a problem for Pelosi.

Rush then began apologizing without explaining what he was apologizing for. He said he was partying the night before. Then Rush gets to the point. He says that he praised the AP for telling the truth about the recovery. Rush says he now realized that the word has gone out that rather than talk up the economy, they need to push for another stimulus bill. No one but the lunatic fringe will believe that the economy is doing well. So, according to Rush, the word went out to the AP to start building up support for another slush fund bill. Rush worries that his “opinion audit” will go down. That's so even though the global warming story is a big one. I've been right for years.

Rush then takes a third caller on open line Friday who is talking about Rush's favorite topic of the day: why there are no “seminar callers.” The caller says there have been no such callers because it's too early. Rush agrees and points out that his show starts at 9 a.m. on the West Coast. The caller talked about her “Rush baby” daughter who didn't want health insurance. They couldn't tell her anything, of course, but they did suggest she check out catastrophic coverage. And indeed, she is paying $75 a month for catastrophic coverage and pays the rest herself. Rush says, she's going to be hated and will be called selfish. The caller says that her daughter takes better care of herself now that she knows she'll have to pay to see a doctor. The caller says, this means you can get health insurance. Rush adds that “it's a crock” that you can't get health insurance.

CALLER: Do you have a minute for me to tell you just a little story about my 23-year-old daughter who is a Rush baby?

LIMBAUGH: Sure, by all means.

CALLER: Well, when she went out from under our insurance and was about to go take a job that did not offer insurance, she wanted to just go without; and of course you don't tell a 23-year-old what to do, but we did make a suggestion. And we said, why don't you go and do some research to see about the most inexpensive insurance you could get that would just cover your major medical. And she did that, and for about $75 a month she's covered for anything major. The rest of it she plans to take care of on her own.

[...]

CALLER: So I just thought I'd let you know that all of the talk of “people cannot get health care” --

LIMBAUGH: It's a crock!

CALLER: -- is just bogus -- totally bogus.

LIMBAUGH: You know it. You know it and I know it. All of this -- nothing but sob -- the Democrat Party exists to this day by making this country sound like it's a gulag --

CALLER: Oh, yeah.

LIMBAUGH: -- run by Republicans. That there's no compassion; that there is no warmth; that nobody has any heart, and the only people that have anything have it because they've stolen it from the people who really should have it. And it's a sob story after sob story after sob story -- talk about props.

Rush then mentions Michigan'sHillsdale College, a school that takes no federal money -- and for which Rush is doing a promo. He loves this college, which teaches: “the Constitution, morality, where did this all come from?” You come out of this college with confidence, he said.

After the third commercial break, Rush continued on the subject of Hillsdale College, where graduates know that the liberal media can't be trusted. Rush then takes another caller who says that he's in his early 20s and is liberal in some ways but is very anti-big government. Rush said that there are probably more people like that in the country than the caller thinks. He says young people are idealistic. He adds that it's a great thing that they don't vote in great numbers. Rush took a short break and then closed out the hour by saying that he wanted to correct the caller who said that the dittoheads don't believe things just because Rush says it. They are the most thinking audience in the country, he said.

Rush On Obama voters: “It's like the 'Magic Negro' song said: we can get rid of our guilt; we can vote for this guy and he'll say we're good people”

Rush returns for his last hour of the week. Rush begins the hour by asking, “what was that?” He then says “Never mind. Janet Napolitano,” waving his hand dismissively.

Rush moved on to one of his pet topics: bashing MSNBC. Rush says one of MSNBC's hosts advocated ripping out Dick Cheney's heart, using it as a football, and then putting it back in there. It's amazing that that network is allowed to continue on as it does. Nobody watches those networks. So, Obama's advocating that people call talk radio where the audience is and lie about who they are to me, Rush said. Rush exulted that he can't find “one Obama acolyte.” It's been suggested that they're not up yet. But maybe there are just not that many Obama supporters anymore, Rush said. “That would not surprise me,” says Rush. He then plays a new parody: Obama asks James Carville how many callers have gotten through. Carville says that no one has gotten through. Obama then blasts Carville for using ACORN people (our first mention of ACORN of the day).

Rush then airs an audio clip of Pelosi talking about the health care meeting in Spring 2009 when Ted Kennedy was present. Picking up on his comment yesterday that the health care summit was a "Wellstone memorial," Rush said, yesterday, it was, do it for Paul; now, it's do it for Ted, claims Rush. He then plays audio of CNN's David Gergen saying the Republicans did well and audio of George Stephanopoulos calling the summit “an honorable draw.” Rush again says that if they are saying it's a tie, it's a victory for the Republicans. “Obama got skunked.”

Rush then played audio of a Q&A with Las Vegas impresario Steve Wynn, who said that he is very pessimistic about 2011: CEOs tell Wynn that their companies can't go to Vegas because they'll catch heat from Obama. He then played audio of Wynn saying that businesses are under attack as are people who make more than $250,000 a year. Rush gloats: “Someone else, joining my chorus.” It's a crock that Obama wants the private sector to do well. He says he thinks Wynn voted for Obama.

Rush goes on: The media drummed up hatred for George W. Bush, tainting any Republican. Rush says: “And then you couple it with a guy -- historical nature -- first black president -- no criticism.” Rush then adds: “I'm sure that a lot of people looked at this just like the ”Magic Negro" song said. Here' a chance -- OK, we can get rid of our racist past; we can get rid of our guilt; we can vote for this guy and he'll say we're good people":

LIMBAUGH: The only thing that would have saved us from Obama is if people knew what a liberal is. But people couldn't get there because two things had happened. I'm going to simplify it -- maybe more than two.

But the media and the Democrats had done a great job of drumming up absolute hatred for George W. Bush, which led them to believe that anybody else from the Republican Party was just as bad, would be continuing just the same rotten policies and that -- and America being hated. And then you couple it with a guy -- historical nature -- first black president -- no criticism. No investigation. No information. Who is the guy?

Ideology was trumped; it didn't stand a chance. I'm sure that a lot of people looked at this just like the “Magic Negro” song said. Here' a chance -- OK, we can get rid of our racist past; we can get rid of our guilt; we can vote for this guy and he'll say we're good people.

And of course, there's so much -- so much -- the desire for all of this pap that liberals talk about during campaigns to actually happen. Oh, it'd be wonderful if it would all come true, but it never does with these people. And it never has a chance to come through because their policies are diametrically opposed to whatever this great Utopian vision that they -- that they think they can create is. So I -- you know, it's -- it's -- for me, it's easy to explain why somebody like Steve Wynn would be fooled, because Steve Wynn wasn't thinking ideology. Steve Wynn probably still doesn't much like Republicans either.

After a commercial break, Rush noted that White House social secretary Desiree Rogers is leaving the White House, calling it a big White House shake-up. Rush then corrected himself: Wynn didn't vote for Obama. Rush then takes a caller who says she's angry. She is a retired salary person at GM. Rush said she's the enemy. The caller said that all the middle income people's jobs have been taken away, and manufacturing has gone overseas. She actually retired from GMAC, she says, and even those jobs are being outsourced. The caller continued: You talk about health care, but what about the poor people in other countries where they get $5 a day? They don't provide them health insurance. Why does the UAW back Democrats? She says the stimulus money is being used to rip up perfectly good roads and redo them with stimulus money.

Rush responded: You're not wrong, but you do have some clichés. Manufacturing hasn't totally left the country. Outsourcing is going on, and it won't stop. Water seeks its own level, and so do wages in free markets. Rush adds: The flaw in all of this, your discussion of the stimulus, what you have to understand is that the government is broke. We don't have any money. So there's nothing to stimulate with. You can't take money out of the private sector and then put it back in and say we've stimulated the economy.

After a commercial, Rush read a CNBC article about negative news in the housing sector. Now they tell us, Rush says. Rush interjects that we just learned people get laid off in the snow. We're supposed to believe that jobs have been the focus all along.

Rush then noted climate scientists saying that January was the hottest ever.

Rush: Paterson is a “dead African American walking”

Time for another caller. Rush said this is the first caller he's gotten named Barbie. The caller said that the Republicans used the drive-by media to their advantage yesterday. After a while, she just muted the Dems because they weren't coming up with a legitimate answer. Rush said, remember, in Baltimore the media thought Obama won. And then there was a week of coverage of Obama in Baltimore, but have you seen any coverage of it today? The media know that Obama got skunked. “You're even proud of McCain” asked Rush. The caller said yes. Rush said he did like the fact that McCain got under Obama's thin skin. But remember, McCain is in a re-election campaign, so that's why he's conservative, Rush says. The caller said she didn't remember that. This is what Rush is here for, he told the caller.

Rush then took a caller, but interrupted him to ask what his engineers and producers are laughing about. He finds out that it was apparently “Barbie's sultry voice.” Anyway, he gets back to the caller who, like the caller before him, is proud of the Republicans for having done well. Rush said, Obama must be mad that there aren't a lot of seminar callers. Rush then segues into how people who don't know him are shocked at how nice Rush is when they meet him. It's just like people are shocked when Republicans have ideas. But I wasn't shocked. The Republicans are conservatives. And there's a world of difference between them and the Democrats.

Rush then took a caller who said she was 17. The caller said she takes lots of AP (advanced placement) classes. Rush asks what an AP class is and the caller enlightens him. The caller says that there is lots of Marxism going on in her classes. A teacher recently told her that competition stifles creativity. Rush asks: Is she attractive or not? The caller doesn't answer. So Rush repeats the question a few seconds later. When the caller says she wears attractive clothes, Rush says, ask her, who is she competing against. The caller also says that in her environmental AP class, her teacher says that capitalism destroyed the economy. Rush asks what college she's going to. The caller won't say. After a back-and-forth, he learns that she hasn't been accepted yet at the college of her choice. And Rush says: Oh I get it. If the college hears me endorse your views, they won't let you in. The caller than informs Rush that there's a communist at her school. Rush says, “just one?” But it turns out that the caller is talking about a student, not a teacher, so Rush tells her that the faculty are probably communists as well.

Another commercial, and Rush is back talking about Paterson. Paterson's real sin was not the sex scandal, Rush asserted -- this was nothing compared to what the Clintons did. Rush then asked: “Why is David Paterson a dead African-American walking?” Rush said it's because he didn't appoint Caroline Kennedy to the Senate. Rush plays video of a CNN segment in which the reporter said that when Obama was at sky-high approval, Rush gave conservatives backbone with four words: “I hope he fails.” Rush criticized the reporter, but said he's right.

The last commercial of the week, and Rush read an article headlined: “Haiti Aid Marred by Slow UN response.” Rush asks: Why is the U.N. getting blamed, and not the U.S.? Where does the U.N. get everything: it's money, it lies, everything. And that's it for the day and the week.

We here at the Limbaugh Wire hope you have a good weekend, and we'll see you here next week. Same Bat Time. Same Bat Channel.

Mike Burns contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.